This song is so much deeper that it appears on first hearing. It’s all about depression, or maybe that’s too strong a word. Perhaps apaphy is better word. ” I can’t change my mould, I am here in my mould, and I am million different people from one day to next, I can’t change my mold”. To me that’s very poignant especially these strange days. On the face of it the video could easily be about flouting social distancing…. Don’t get me started.
As I am recovering with this bag , my new friend things have become even more ground hog and indistinguishable! I still wake at stupid o’clock. Though now Hubby does most things I used to. I do as much as I can, even if it’s behind his back. I don’t tell him and it’s always one less job for him to do.
At some point over the weekend our friends Debbie and Chris came to socially distance in the garden, that was lovely but it rained…. We spoke to the boys and did all the usual things, plus our weekly virtual night at the pub with our friends. I was tucked up in bed by nine.
Hubby is also busy sorting out his Mum’s estate, so much involved with that and busy.
Monday 29th June 2020.
Up at stupid o’clock, hubby walked Ruby and I got dressed. We had a hospital appointment to have the drain and bag checked. We arrived just after 10am, parking was not easy but eventually we got a space. Hubby went and found me a wheel chair and we were off.
We arrived at the ADSU at about 10.30, they did seem very busy. The nurse incharge seems very abrupt but we had an appointment. We were waiting around for a while then they found us a bay and bed.
Things looked up when our nurse arrived, she was really nice and welcoming and very confident. So bloods, stats and four hour wait we had a 6mins consultation.
The two doctors we saw were really helpful, if not a tad rushed. But the answered all my questions and addressed my worries. They told me all was looking okay. The bleeding seemed to have stopped 🤞the dressing, tubes,drain and bag all good too. I have to go back in about four weeks to have special X-ray and see the surgeon about the removal of drain and operation. I am hoping we will be looking at another 6 weeks. Hubby had got us a sandwich and drink while we were waiting and we had lunch in the car before we headed home.
I was knackered when we got home 💜
Tuesday 30th June 2020 to Friday 3rd July 2020.
Well it’s almost been sleep, eat repeat. Not too much eat though. Hubby walks the dog, we keep in touch with friends and family. I empty my cholecystectomy bag daily. Hubby shops, cooks and cleans, I do my bit and will my body to heal. I walk round and round the garden and house to keep fit.
Last night and tonight hubby and I walked out the front door, around the block and back into the back door. All good exercise. Not far but it’s a start. Also our middle lad popped round to social distance round the garden.
That’s really all I have to tell at the moment so it’s time for a happy song . I have used this song before but I am going to use it again. Because I need to be brave and positive and this song makes me feel both!
Hello now why did I pick that song by James Blunt. Well it’s for the lines
“I put a smile on my face To hide that I feel outta place Should I give it all up? I’m on the edge and letting go After the highs you feel the lows Should I give it all up?”
And
“Could you hold my hand? ‘Cause it’s getting dark And I’m losing grip On my heart Could you lift me up ‘Cause I’m breaking down And I need you here With me now”
Yes I am feeling insecure, it’s the cholecystectomy bag, or is it the tube coming out of me. I don’t know really. I just don’t feel like me. Anyhow since I last wrote a post on the 16th June. I have been resting and recovering. I lost blood the first week and had to visit the hospital twice, the last time was Saturday 20th anyway things have settled since then. 🤞. My next appointment is this Monday, for a “drain check”.
So it’s been difficult to sleep, hubby being absolutely great doing most things and helping me. We are both still getting up at stupid o’clock. After four days I felt strong enough to get washed dressed and sit in the garden. I have progressed to folding laundry, and I am walking round the garden, getting stronger. I have had a sort of shower and washed my hair… Both endeavours, though on different days wore me out.😴
This is my view as I sit in the shade and read all your lovely posts. So there really is not much to tell because I really am not doing much. It has been great to read all your posts and news. I am waiting for my muse to return, she has cleared off and left me high and dry!
Then I got a lovely surprise, this afternoon WordPress sent me this lovely Surprise..
So Happy Anniversary to me 💜
So I amazed to see I have been blogging for 9 years. It been and gone in a flash!
So that’s it for now I need to conserve energy, for getting better and also for keeping a smile on my face and supporting hubby, who is “Chief cook and bottle washer” , dog walker on one hand and exectuter to his mum’s will on the other.He is working so hard so I want to support him all I can. I don’t want him worrying about me too much he has a lot to cope with right now. So I need to support him too.
That’s all for now Folks, and Thank You WordPress.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
Yes the show must go on, however we feel like shouting STOP! It won’t. We must find our way through the mis-imformation and the contradictory advice, the two faced politicians who treat us with contempt. Yes it’s up to us now to “be alert” what ever that means, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have to “Stay home.” I know what that means… But “be alert” ?? Nah! What’s that all about.
Monday 25 May 2020.
Hubby and I up at stupid o’clock, I really don’t need to tell you but incase anyone has newly arrived I shall explain.
Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.He took Ruby out after his breakfast and after he’d rung the hospital. So started another day… Too early.
Monday was a bank holiday, not that that should mean anything on partial lockdown. Well it didn’t to us really but I am sad to say and appalled by some people in this country, who dashed off to beaches and beauty spots throwing caution and social distancing to the wind.
We spent most of the day trying to get hold of the hospital, it is harder to get through the eye of needle than get any proper information on MIL. Most of the day was spent, cooking, gardening and housework!
News re MIL. Hubby spoke to ward. No change re MIL. Asleep now. Had a comfortable night. Doctor seeing her later and advised to ring back at 2pm.. I asked how long will she stay in bed and how long on introvenous food. .”The nurse didn’t know that’s down to occupation therapist and doctor. Again mentioned hearing aids, his note and MIL having responded to written notes. She said she would write that down…… 🤔….
In the afternoon as advised we tried at 2pm… After calling a dozen times with no answer eventually phone was answered by a physio. He said no nurses around who dealt with MIL. He did not know MIL but got her notes out and said at doctors round this morning the doctor had recorded, no lumber puncture required (no reason stated in the notes!) , to do a CT scan of the head and an ECG. The physio said if he wanted to speak to a doctor I should call between 9 and 10am. Said I had done that today and told to ring back at 2pm. He didn’t know what to say. Communication by them is extremely poor. I fear another complaint to PALS is looming.
We tried again in the evening but didn’t get any real information, she had been restless but was sleeping now, nurse was busy. We felt very frustrated and fobbed off. Not a good day!
Tuesday 26th May 2020
The day started the same as any other of late, Hubby worried about his Mum, endless and fruitless attempts to get through to the ward with no luck. Rang early same old same old. Hubby did the shopping, another successful trip, home safe.
Hubby rang again about 10am and spoke to a Dr who said they would ring later. We waited in all day then at about three when we were taking Ruby out a Dr rang . We picked middle sons washing up for him .
Look all I can say is that this week’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. MIL is not in a good way, this lock down is getting me getting me down. The easing back of restrictions is even more stressful. I actually don’t want to talk about it anymore this week.
ENOUGH
Wedneday 27thMay.2020
Up stupid o’clock, Pilates at 10.30am, walked Ruby in the afternoon.
Numerous calls to hospital no good news.
Thursday 28th May 2020
Same as same as. No Pilates. Last official clap for NHS. May carry on if everyone else does.
Friday 29th May 2020.
Bad night waking up every two hours with cramp and bad dreams. So up at Stupid o’clock today hubby was so tired he stayed in bed until nearly 9am. So I fed, medicated and let Ruby out.
Before Hubby got up I did two Lesley Sansone exercise videos. Then after breakfast we took Ruby to a completely different places for a walk. She loved it we loved it, it was great to have a change and there were not too many people around! As it was around 10am , drs rounds hubby rang the hospital it took hubby an hour to get through to the ward but it was worth it as a Dr answered the phone.!
The Dr said MIL sitting up and looking around, he also said no change and still treating her for inflation of the brain due to Covid19. He said she is frail and it could go either way. They will decide if she can be moved to us but at the moment they just don’t know which way it will go. Feel a bit more positive as she is sitting up and alert.
We got home hubby contacted the boys, and people who want to know about MIL. I did the housework. I do feel better than yesterday, let’s hope the rest of the day can be as nice, less stressful and free from mixed up messages. I am sorry I lost it yesterday… I shall leave that in because this is real!
Time for a happy song. This one is to all WARRIORS. MIL IS ONE TOO.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
Changes everywhere I look and mostly not for good. I really can’t go into this because I try not to go too deeply into anything political. I read today that: “A person who has had Covid19, could be re-infected with coronavirus in six months, new research suggests, in a blow to the push for “immunity passports” as evidence of recovery from the illness.” Information from here.
So there we have if that is true it will be as easy to catch as the common cold. So Ch, Ch, Ch, changes will have to be made… Life will never be the same again. I know not all the changes are bad, look at nature she is having a ball, clear skies even over cities, less traffic, on land sea and air road and rail. The animals too have got much bolder which is sad as now some of the traffic is returning there has been a rise in road kill. Today my sister had a special visitor in her garden not mr fox, who often visits, but a beautiful Monkjack Deer.
Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.He took Ruby after his breakfast and after he’d rung the hospital. So started another day… Too early.
I had a leg of lamb in the fridge so I decided to roast it, for Sunday dinner. I did the whole works, Coliflower and broccoli cheese roast potatoes, parsnips, sweet potato and carrots and greens plus I made a huge Yorkshire pudding. It was lovely dinner and we enjoyed it very much. Hubby was going to mow the front lawn but instead he spent most of the morning putting up a new washing line for me. I have a system of six lines at the side of the house as I love to hang my washing out to dry it in the air.
The old line was green with a nylon inner, the new one is a bronze/ brown plastic line with a, wait for it …steel inner much stronger and very posh! I am very pleased with it.
After dinner we rang the hospital, checked up on the family and then walked Ruby.
In the evening we had our weekly video call with our friends five doors up, it was great fun as usual this week the invitation was named “WEEKLY SANITY CHECK”
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
So yes it’s still #confused.com here or as I’d like to put it one law for them and one for us!
Yes useless this how I felt all of Friday, so low and depressed. Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we both battling with stupid o’clock. Ringing the hospital and hitting a brick wall time after time. Eventually got through to the ward, got the same response, call back, rang several times, eventually told only one person can be updated and sort it out. Hubby then explained that short term MIL might go back home but long term if she needed 24/7 care we were the only ones willing to provide this.. So information on her was essential so we could plan. He also mentioned the non communication with BIL. Hubby suggested he might talk to the Director of Nursing to resolve it. The nurse changed her tune, got nans file and said that both of of them would need to be updated by the doctor.
I had my Zoom Pilates class.
Hubby took Ruby for her walk.The day progressed. No phone calls as promised. However, by contacting Patient Liaison at the hospital hubby found out that under their policy BIL was designated next of kin and hubby was not entitled to information unless he could prove I was on equal terms with him. As Hubby has MIL power of attorney which shows they are all equal and after they contacted BIL he was granted next of kin status and given a password.. The doctor then rang. MIL will be in for a fair time. They do not know reason for seizures and are testing for everything eg: encephalitis and meningitis etc. If she manages to get out of hospital, which we hope she does, it is clear she will not be able to stay at her house and will come here to us BIL had already told the hospital this.
Thank goodness hubby is now in the loop. Trouble is I am totally exhausted and I feel dead these last few days have finished me off.
Hubby had to walk Ruby on his own because I was not up for it. We had a quiet evening. Sleep before my head explodes.
Saturday 23rd
Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.
Hubby had already spoken to the ward and though the information was complete it was it was not too good.
MIL had been moved to another ward but this had obviously upset her and she had not been happy. Somehow she managed to pull out her drip, feeding tube and cathata and get out of bed. They put her on one to one observation for the night. In the morning she was “okay”.
Hubby walked Ruby, we checked in with the boys.
My friend became a grandma so warm wishes to all concerned.
Hubby checked in with the ward mid morning and discoverd MIL was still very unsettled, he asked if she had her hearing aids, a very kind nurse found them, in her hand bag. Hubby was asked if he could bring her in some night dresses. Which bless him he did, over to his mother’s house collected the bag from BIL’s car then off to the hospital.
But before that we took Ruby for her annual booster injection. All well organized, park car, knock on back door of surgery, let vet take dog, a few minutes later she comes out the other door. Back into the car and home.
While he was on his way to the hospital he had a call from the Dr to ask if he would agree to his mother being a Lumber Puncher as they needed to see if she has Covid19 on the brain. It was a shock but he agreed. He arrived at the ward and dropped off her clothes.
When he got home I had done the ironing, then we took Ruby for her walk.
We then spent over an hour trying to get through to the hospital, it’s like pulling teeth, I swear we have rung at least twenty times !. Finally we got through to the Nurse we spoke to this morning. He had received MIL’s stuff but had been too busy to sort any of it.
Its Saturday and time for LindaGHill’s #SoCs, this week Linda gave us this prompt. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ch.” Find a word that starts with “ch” and use it as your prompt word. Bonus points if you start your post with that word. Enjoy!“
I have chosen to write an Acrostic Nonet entitled Changeling. Mind you there are ten letters in changeling and as I wanted to write a Nonet and not an Etheree I repeated the five syllable line twice…Poetic licence.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
I have made it plain I am not happy about the relaxation of some of lockdown rules. We have been told to be aware, we can travel to have exercise, understandably the people who live in beauty spots and by the sea don’t want hoards of tourists and I agree. The government urged those who could to go back to work to do so. Our prime minister Boris urged people not to use public transport, use your car bike or walk. But you cannot mix households so you cannot give colleagues a lift? You might work together but you can’t travel together ? So lots more cars on the road especially London. Then the Mayor of London Sadiq Khan not only decides to bring back the congestion charge he puts it up?? So he is in essence forcing loads of people on to public transport and into more danger.
You can meet one person in a Park but no touching and observe social distancing, then schools starting in June, don’t get me started.. why not wait until September and then everyone repeat the year… It is all so muddled all so confusing. I fear we are heading for rising infection rates and deaths. I know the country needs to make money but not at risk to life #justsaying.
Monday 18th May 2020.
Up with the Lark at stupid o’clock, let Ruby out, feed, water and medicate her. Hubby up at sensible o’clock, feed hubby then he walks Ruby. After his walk Hubby rang his Mum and was delighted by how well she doing. He then updated family and friends as to her progress.
We have been worried about our eldest and middle son because they are both on their own and at risk health wise. As I said we saw our youngest son, his wife and children on Saturday. Following the rules, grandparents can drive to the grandchildren’s house and stand at the gate and talk. So we invited our middle lad to join us for a socially distanced, garden lunch. He can access our back garden from the street without coming through the house. It was great to see him and he really enjoyed the company too.
After he left we took Ruby for her walk. I didn’t have to cook in the evening because we had already had jacket potatoes with cheese and baked beans, salad and coleslaw.
Tuesday 19th May.
Same old same old start to the day. I saw stupid o’clock as always . Hubby rang his mum again they had a good chat and he was really lifted. He then went shopping for us and Mark , I don’t remember what else happened that day, we took Ruby for a walk and skyped with our friends in America .
Wednesday 20th
Hello stupid o’clock fancy seeing you here! Hubby up at sensible walks Ruby.
Early call from sister in law to say that MIL had been taken back into Hospital. Sends hubby off the scales. He rings the hospital to find out what’s going on. Seems like MIL had a seizure in the night, she was unresponsive hubby’s brother called an ambulance. She was taken back to Hospital. They hoped to stop the siezures with drugs and either send her home or to a hospital nearer her home.
This was a worry but there was nothing we could do . We had made arrangements to visit our eldest son who lives in Brighton to meet in his local park. According to the rules we can meet our son but we must keep social distance. We discussed things and decided that we should still go.
Hubby took our middle son’s shopping over to him and brought back his washing. I prepared our dinner so we could have an early lunch , before we set off to meet our lad and have a late afternoon picnic in the park.
I had a Pilates zoom lessen at 10.30. Hubby spoke to the hospital and was reassured a little. After Pilates I got the washing done and out on the line. We had salmon and roast veg which was very nice.
We headed on down to meet our son. We got there half an hour early and we took Ruby for a walk, we found a lovely shady spot under a tree and settled down to wait for our lad. He arrived and we had a chat, I had brought coffee and a picnic . We had our picnic and apart from the social distancing it was like having a picnic! I did find it strange to see so many people in one place, they were social distancing but there were so many more than we see where we live.
At about 5pm hubby got an update from the hospital. Apparently MIL cannot be moved because she is unstable, and keeps fitting. They need to change drugs and possibly do a scan .
Shortly after that we cleared up and headed home. It was lovely seeing our eldest I felt reassured he was coping. It took us just under two hours to drive home. Just before we went to bed a doctor from the hospital phoned. MIL was given double dose of normal medicine and a new drug and for last 3 hours she has been stable. She had now been transferred to another hospital Sounds like it will be observation. The CT scan revealed nothing abnormal.
We went to bed.
Thursday 21st May
Well slightly different today, shock horror! Stupid o’clock arrived and tapped me on the shoulder, I told it to sod off and determindly stayed in bed . Managed another hour until my mind was about to explode. So good morning not so stupid o’clock! Hubby up at sensible o’clock. Took Ruby out.
Usual day did normal lockdown things contacted sisters, the boys, and hubby plodded away trying to contact the new hospital, they just will not tell us anything , and they say Hubby should talk to his brother Hubby explained his brother will not talk to him at all. One nurse even said “well sort it out” yes in a perfect world that would be great. Hubby tried and in the end was so insulted and then threatened by his brother he gave up with him. Anyhow you don’t need to know any of this but it’s been very stressful.
So in the afternoon we took Ruby for a walk . We went later because it was so hot .
We had pizza and salade for dinner, then it was time to go out to clap for the NHS and all Keyworkers. We had a little chat with the neighbours which was really lovely.
Then we watched a Star Trek tried the hospital again, with no luck. We went to bed exhausted.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
So where do we go from here? I really don’t know, the signposts are all muddled, the directions are all so unclear. Our leaders are all lost, up the creek without a paddle.
Friday 15th.
Hardly any sleep up with the Lark at stupid o’clock, let Ruby out, feed, water and medicate her. Hubby up at sensible o’clock, feed hubby then he walks Ruby. Do housework,ironing and gave shower! Pilates at 10.30, like Wednesday’s class the WiFi was much better down stairs, it is less convenient and I had to draw the curtains as Hubby and Ruby were messing about in the garden and making me laugh!
We hear from the hospital that MIL is to be going home to her house tomorrow. Hubby also has a chat with her on the phone. We walked Ruby, had dinner, fish cakes, chips and beans, quiet evening.
Saturday 16th
Up with the birds at stupid o’clock, let Ruby out, feed, water and medicate her. Hubby up at sensible o’clock, feed hubby then he walks Ruby. Did housework.
We ring the hospital and find Mil is all set to be taken home but we don’t know when. They arranged to ring and let us know.
We have been invited round to our son’s to see the grandchildren. The rules as set out are we can drive over to their house and stand at their gate and they can talk to us from the front door. On the way over we stop of at a supermarket and Hubby manages to get a helicopter, a car transporter, two bars of chocolate, a bunch of flowers and a large bag of chocolate buttons. Though it’s only a forty five minutes drive to their house it’s the furthest we have been since lockdown.
It was wonderful to see everyone and they all seemed pleased to see us. We left the gifts on their window sills . It was great to see them even if we had to shout, absolutely no cuddles but the boys seemed to understand 💜. We took Ruby with us which delighted the boys so much. We stayed half an hour then we walked Ruby along the canal tow path that runs behind our son’s house. Just us we are not allowed to walk out as two separate households, so we waved goodbye and went.
We did not walk too far along the path as there were too may people there! The tow path was too narrow for proper social distancing but before we went back to the car we were rewarded with the beautiful swan family above.
We heard from the hospital on the way home they said MILwas going to her house at 12.30 in a Taxi with a occupational therapist who will access care provision, carer calling at 1.30 and again tonight and from there on 3 times a day.
That was such good news after all the worry and a month in hospital we let all the boys know and we were relieved. ..Hubby and his brother do not communicate very well so our youngest son kindly rang that afternoon and got us an update. Mil was happy and settled.
We had apple and pork sausages, mash potatoes, baby corn and sugar peas.
Sunday 17th
Up with the birds at stupid o’clock, let Ruby out, feed, water and medicate her. Hubby up at sametime, fed hubby then he walked Ruby. Did housework
I washed all the floors, threw out several pairs of shoes, did some washing. Hubby rang to see how his mum was doing, someone answered the phone and handed it to MIL. Hubby had a chat of sorts and he was delighted to speak to her. He then had a chat with the carer who sounded very nice. This set a lovely relaxed feeling to the day. It has been very stressful and fraught of late.
It has been a lovely day, weather wise and relaxing too. We heard from family and friends, our water was cut off for about an hour which got us and neighbours chatting..at a safe distance. Had some messages from friends and a phone call too.
We had dinner at lunchtime, Quiche, salad, coleslaw and home made potato salade.
This evening we are joining our friends from up the road for our weekly virtual pub night! In our own living rooms 😀.
