We are what we are we are legion.

Forbidden Love  A Nonet 

We walk in  shadows  away from  light

Hidden we belong  to  the  night .

You can never hold  my  hand

A love  like ours is  banned.

People  must not  know

I love you so

forbidden

Is our

Love.

******

Butterflies of  Love 

the_autopsy_by_laura_makabresku-d7e9ze0

Image found  here 

Taboos blown to wind and skies

On no man did she depend

Rather to herself true

She turned inward to befriend

Tiny butterflies of love.

Escaped from heaven

Ecstasy pure as  the dove

Unspoken their lust did rise

Such joy forbidden.

*****

Rainbow  Haiku.

Rainbow Cake

Rainbow Cake

Glorious  colours  of  the rainbow

Mixed up in  a cake

Love everyone,  real not  fake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am what I am 

Love  me  for what I am

Be I  unsure, woman or man

Let  me live loud and proud

To  be  what I  am, not hide under a cloud.

Transexual, transvestite ,Gay or lesbian

Accept  me, love me,  this  is what I am!

An interview with Candice Louisa Daquin. Part two.

Hi everyone as promised here is part two of my interview with Candice Louisa Daquin.

Candice Louisa Daquin.

Now if you missed my first interview with Candice you find it here

Here is her bio because it shows what an amazing woman

Candice Louisa Daquin is of Sephardi French/Egyptian descent. Born in Europe, she work in publishing for The American Embassy and Chamber of Commerce. Before immigrating to the American South West to study and become a Psychotherapist, where she has continued writing and editing whilst practicing as a therapist. Daquin has worked at Jewish Community Centers and Rape Crisis Centers both in Texas and Ontario Canada. Her area of specialization is adults sexually abused as children. Prior to publishing her own poetry collections she regularly wrote for the poetry periodical Rattle and The Northern Poetry Review. Daquin is currently Senior Editor at Indie Blu(e) Publishing, a feminist micro-press. 
Daquin’s poetic work takes its form from the confessional women poets of the 19th and 20th century as well as queer authors writing from the 1950’s onward. Her career(s) teaching critical thinking and practicing as a psychotherapist have heavily influenced her work, with explored key themes including, sexual-dysfunction, sexual-abuse, parental-relationships, mental illness and queer-identity. Daquin’s work is also significantly imprinted by Audre Lorde, Françoise Sagan, Angela Carter, activist Egyptian physician Nawal El Saadawi, Navdanya seed bank creator/campaigner Vandana Shiva, Pablo Neruda, Israeli PM Golda Mier, Toni Morrison and feminist philosophers bell hooks, Hélène Cixous and Luce Irigaray.
As a queer woman of mixed parentage and passionate feminist beliefs concerning equality, Daquin’s poetry is her body of evidence. 

Welcome back Candice it is lovely to have you visit again. Could we discuss your Gadtroparesis and your macular degeneration. I think your story will help many others.

It’s a crazy story. In March 2017 I went to New England for a short vacation. Prior to this I had been probably the healthiest I’ve ever been no joke. I was in Salem (!!) and around 1 in the morning I began throwing up uncontrollably. It lasted 24 hours I thought it was food poisoning, the Dr I saw said more likely a virus picked up on the plane. I made a full recovery and thought no more about it. In June I had the same experience out of the blue, but having not eaten I knew it couldn’t be food poisoning. I was perplexed because I tend not to throw up unless very sick. The ER (I’d been throwing up for days unable to keep food down) thought it might be heart issues. I didn’t see how. But I went to a heart dr who said I had a murmur but it couldn’t be related. The feeling was in my chest though as well which was weird. A long time later I learned when you have severe stomach issues, it can mimic heart attacks because you feel a terrible anxiety and fluttering and pain in your chest area, but it’s really your stomach. In August after no answers, I began throwing up again, this time it didn’t go away or stop. I threw up every single day every single thing I ate, for months on end. I went down to 80 pounds and was very, very sick. Due to having a bad primary care Dr it took a while to get hospitalized, when I eventually was, they ran every conceivable test. No answers. Eventually months later, a Dr said they thought it had to be sudden onset Gastroparesis. I couldn’t believe it. I was told I would have to go on disability for life, and I would never be able to eat solids again. I decided I refused to believe this and I kept searching for a better specialist. After seeing quite a few I found one who said no it’s not Gastroparesis per say, it’s Gastric Arrythmia which is treated differently and that’s why I was not improving. I tried every kind of alternative medicine but nothing worked, eventually one drug did help a bit, but mostly I think time and changing what I ate and exercise helped the most. By diet changes I mean I was vegetarian since I was a kid and that’s not a good diet for someone who needs to avoid vegetables (which you no longer can digest) but I didn’t want to quit how I ate so I just ate more frequently and smaller and tried hard to juice a lot of what I ate. It was a very challenging time. Since your stomach produces what you need for your mental health it sent me into a very dark place. Not knowing what was wrong, not having family support, was hard. Now I realize I am much better but I will always live with this, which many do, with chronic illness. I try to make the best of it and be glad for it not being as bad as they originally thought. It has changed my life a lot because I cannot eat out with friends which was one of my favorite things to do, as was sharing a bottle of wine or something simple like that. I get sick more or less every month but I try really hard to get past the set-back and keep going. During all of this I was also told I had premature (very) macular degeneration. I’m an optimistic person so at first I really didn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it. Now it has been confirmed. I hope to be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t lose their central vision as that means everything to me. But given my young age it seems likely it will be hard to avoid. I haven’t given up hope but it’s been really hard, especially as people don’t really know what to say and I can’t blame them. 

Oh! That was a real rollcoater of a health journey. I am so glad you persisted and got the correct diagnosis. Still not an easy one to accept but better the devil you know, don’t you think. The eye problem too is a hard one to accept but I have friend who was diagnosed with the same at the age of twelve ..she still, at 29 has central pinpoint vision…. I know everyone is different but I do hope this can help.

Can we discuss your work with Indi Blu(e)


I came on to Indie Blu(e) as a guest editor for WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED because as a Psychotherapist and having worked in three Rape Crisis Centers, the #metoo movement meant a lot to me. I wanted to help raise awareness. Since then I stayed on as an editor and began to do more and more. Years before, I worked in publishing but wasn’t expecting to slip back into working with a publishing company. It’s been edifying and hard work. It is a very thankless task at times, but I do believe it makes a difference and that’s all that counts. Our publications have mostly been social justice in theme and I am very proud of that. We have also produced some outstanding stand-alone authors books. Working with a small group of mostly women has been very fulfilling and I can honestly say my time at Indie Blu(e) was one of the best ‘jobs’ I have had, because of what we stood for, and tried to effect. The downside being we do a lot for very little and are all chronically ill, which at times can be challenging. 

Can we also discuss you work as a Psychotherapist and if you like some of the work you have done  in Community and Rape Crisis centers.


As a Psychotherapist I tried to work only with groups I knew I could benefit. I am not good working with kids or teens. I like working with adults and older adults, as well as minority populations because where I live, black people and hispanic people are more reticent and mistrusting of therapists who have traditionally been anglo. I think being mixed-race and foreign I broke through that a bit as most of my clients have been people of color. Additionally I worked with Jews and the LGBTQX population. I was offered to work with rapists in jail but I literally couldn’t do it. My speciality is working with adults who were molested or abused in childhood. I would say I’m good because I care and that’s so crucial. The system however, is broken and that really bothers me because I believe in socialized healthcare for all and that it be affordable if not. 

Candice I was wondering if you would be willing to talk about why and how you came out.


I came out because I am gay and it seemed futile to try to pretend otherwise. I have always known although I did date one boy seriously when I was a young teen. I am not bisexual, I am not attracted to men sexually or emotionally but I respect all diversity within the LGBTQX rainbow. That said, I think lesbians don’t do themselves any favors and I wish we had more of an identity and less judgement within the lesbian ‘label’ including women who love women and don’t want those women to be dressing like men. I am definitely an odd duck as a lesbian. I get on better with straight people over-all which is weird. I think whilst it’s important to be proud, it’s also a very, very lonely life at times, and whilst I would not change who I am, I get tired of it sometimes. I came out because most gays I know are in the closet and I thought that’s partly why things can be hard for us. Things have changed a lot. It used to be that gays couldn’t marry or have legal rights. I had tremendous troubles during that time and I don’t forget, hence why I try to raise visibility and remember the struggle. I know some people get sick of it and I can appreciate that too but we all have our path. I love writing love poetry about women who love women. SMITTEN is the anthology I have worked on that I am most proud of for that reason. 
I get frustrated sometimes at how the media or whomever, pick the ‘popular’ trending authors/writers/poets and overlook really truly talented ones. I don’t know how people who don’t fit the trending boxes, succeed, it is much harder than it was, when if you were talented, you usually could succeed. Now there are so many more variables and it’s exhausting trying to compete which so many people for just one (badly) paid job. I can see why creatives leave, and many do after a time. If I have one regret it’s that I wasn’t better at science and just did a job where it’s not as hard to go in and do your thing and succeed. The creative world is very competitive and cut-throat. Oh, and ageist. 

Thank you for answering that question so openly. As a straight , what ever straight is, woman. I hear what you are saying and I completely agree. .

Thank you again for joining me and answering my questions so honestly. It has been a real pleasure to have you visit again and to open up so freely on all the subjects I brought up.

*********

Here is where you can find Candice Louisa Daquin.

on Facebook.

soundcloud.

The Feathered Sleep.

Candice’s Amazon page.

Thank you Candice.

One-Liner Wednesday. Hanging on the telephone.

After ringing and quequing to make an appointment ( for a telephone consultation, it’s like getting hen’s teeth to get an actual appointment) the One-Liner ” please hold your call is important to us, we will be with you as soon as a receptionist is free” repeated every sixty seconds really does not ring true.

It took one hour and fifteen minutes on two phones to get through!

Part of LindaGHill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

#writephoto : Treeman.

This week’s prompt is a post with a difference – our JUNE guest photo!

For visually challenged writersthe image a tree that has partly been carved to represent a man (or an ape I’m undecided).

Tree Man – Image by Willowdot21.

Gaia had given up on mankind, they were so uncaring of this beautiful planet. Their waste and inventions clogged up her seas, oceans and rivers. They drilled, mined and fracked for all her bounty. They waged war, they plundered the spoilt!

Sitting on the edge of the woods surrounded by paper cups, used condoms, plastic bottles and polestyrine cartons Gaia spoke with Death who was looking wan and very thin.

“I just don’t know what to do really I am at my wit’s ends,” she exclaimed a tear in her eye. Death smiled, a scary sight all teeth! “Don’t worry he said I have one last thing up my sleeve.”

Sighing Gaia replied “Well the four horsemen are already here, War, plague ( he played a blinder) famine, and yourself you have all worked so hard.”

“Indeed we have been working overtime, and yet those uncaring humans still carry on their selfish ways. I have called in the big guns, my last resort. “

Gaia, inhailed loudly “Surely you cannot mean….”

“Yes indeed I am going to bring on the Ents…they will soon put pay to mankind and then they can gently and kindly restore you to your former health.”

Just then the first of the Giant Ents arrived looking tired and somewhat irritable!

This is part of K L Caley #writephoto

KL Caley at Novel Ideas has offered to take on Sue Vincent’s #writephoto weekly challenge now Sue has moved on to a higher plain.

An interview with Candice Louisa Daquin.

Hello everyone, I am very excited today to welcome Candice Louisa Daquin from the amazing The Feathered Sleep.

Firstly let me tell you a about Candice.

Candice Louisa Daquin is of Sephardi French/Egyptian descent. Born in Europe, she work in publishing for The American Embassy and Chamber of Commerce. Before immigrating to the American South West to study and become a Psychotherapist, where she has continued writing and editing whilst practicing as a therapist. Daquin has worked at Jewish Community Centers and Rape Crisis Centers both in Texas and Ontario Canada. Her area of specialization is adults sexually abused as children. Prior to publishing her own poetry collections she regularly wrote for the poetry periodical Rattle and The Northern Poetry Review. Daquin is currently Senior Editor at Indie Blu(e) Publishing, a feminist micro-press. 

Daquin’s poetic work takes its form from the confessional women poets of the 19th and 20th century as well as queer authors writing from the 1950’s onward. Her career(s) teaching critical thinking and practicing as a psychotherapist have heavily influenced her work, with explored key themes including, sexual-dysfunction, sexual-abuse, parental-relationships, mental illness and queer-identity. Daquin’s work is also significantly imprinted by Audre Lorde, Françoise Sagan, Angela Carter, activist Egyptian physician Nawal El Saadawi, Navdanya seed bank creator/campaigner Vandana Shiva, Pablo Neruda, Israeli PM Golda Mier, Toni Morrison and feminist philosophers bell hooks, Hélène Cixous and Luce Irigaray.

As a queer woman of mixed parentage and passionate feminist beliefs concerning equality, Daquin’s poetry is her body of evidence. 

******

Welcome Candice I am delighted that we have this chance to chat. I want to introduce you to my friends and followers because for a while now I have been drawn in by your marvelous work.

Tell us Candice what has bought you to were you are today, eg: shaped the person you are and made so strong?

I’m not strong. I just survive. I actually think I’m probably too sensitive. I wasn’t shaped by much other than my struggles which might sound negative but I’m a very positive person despite this. I have had too many struggles and I do wish I hadn’t but I know many others who have had worse.

I think you are a very strong woman Candice and I admire how you work so hard to help others. Who and what have been your influences?

I haven’t been influenced by very much. I grew up with very talented family and that influenced me but since then not so much. I suppose being very educated has helped me although I like to learn out of school more. I’m influenced by literature probably the most and psychology and science. I’m a huge science geek and quite an academic despite hating school I love research and learning. 

Can you say why you write, what moves you to take up the pen or keyboard?


Honestly I question that a lot. I prefer helping others publish than writing. I have never found writing therapeutic. I mostly do it because I keep involved with other writers. I have been told I’m a good writer but I don’t tend to think I am because I come from a very talented family who were very brilliant and I know what brilliant is and I’m not. I am always interested in how people form self confidence or believe in themselves or have egos as I have none. I tend to see people and life for what it really is and not kid myself. A lot of people seem to have over inflated egos. I like supporting those who don’t have faith in themselves and who need support because I know I’m good at that because I compensate for not having had that myself. I know it can make someone’s life so much better. I do love to read and I read as much as my work schedule allows. I cannot imagine not reading and recently getting a diagnosis of macular degeneration when I’m not even middle aged, really scared me and made me wonder if I would be blind and unable to read. People say things like: Oh well you can learn braille but I think we all fear losing our sight and it wasn’t something I was expecting at my age and along with my other physical illnesses it’s a bit of a downer, but I try to be positive and hopeful. I’m not a fan of social media which I know is a handicap but I really find social media exhausting emotionally. I would be glad to never go on it. But that said, some of the best people I have met have been via social media. I prefer face to face and old fashioned ways of doing things ideally. 

I am not a huge fan of social media either I am never confident in that setting. You say you lack self confidence but come from a very talented family, were they and are they supportive to of you. I would love to discuss this more with you in our next interview. For now let’s talk about your writing and your books.

I’m most proud of the editorial positions and concepts I’ve been involved in. I loved working on ‘We Will Not Be Silenced’. In Europe I worked in publishing then I went into Psychotherapy now I do both. I work too much. I love working helping others especially with disenfranchized subjects and people like sexual assault, metoo, racism, sexism, homophobia. I loved SMITTEN as it was for the lesbian community which I am part of. The Kali Project was about indian women and their struggles, it was a huge beast of a book and very hard work but so worthy. Both SMITTEN and Kali won Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards. I was so happy for the hard work we put in and those of the writers and artists. We also work on stand-alone author books. I was the editor of Devika Mathur’s book Crimson Skins and I’m working on Zinia Mitra’s first collection now. I love helping artists and authors flourish. 


Can we now discuss Indie Blu(e) and Through The Looking Glass.

This was Christine Ray’s idea and at first I wasn’t sure if it was going to work because I worried it would be too depressing. But it really has succeeded in large part because Christine rarely has a bad idea. I got really into it and began to invite people I knew to submit and it took off, we’re all so happy to be a voice for mental illness, especially as most of us have had the experience of being stigmatized. It shocks me that people are still stigmatized. Indie Blu(e) really is the best company to work for, now that I am part of the upper management I see our hard work really evidenced in the community. Our goal was never profit, but helping those disenfranchised voices have a platform. I’m so grateful to Christine and Kindra for taking me on. I have given a lot to the company because I really believe in it and what we do. We’re bringing out But You Don’t Look Sick shortly and that’s about invisible chronic illness. Ironically all three of us have chronic illnesses which makes it hard at times to juggle all that we do. In my case I work full time as well as Indie Blu(e) but have had to cut my hours because of Gastroparesis. Fortunately I am still able to work. Helping others gives me meaning. Cruel people and indifferent people take away my joy so I try to be what I want to see. 

This is so interesting Candice I am going to print where people can find you and your books. I would love you to join me again and if you are willing we could discuss how you feel about your diagnosis of macular degeneration and also the Gastroparesis. You are a beautiful and multifaceted woman and you have so much to offer.

You can find Candice Louisa Daquin on Facebook.

soundcloud.

The Feathered Sleep.

Candice’s Amazon page.

One-Liner Wednesday. 23/6/21

“Bite my head off once too often…. I will give you indigestion! “

© willowdot21.

Part of LindaGHill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

Last Night of the Empire. Imogen Heap.

My heroine Imogen Heap, and her last video. Last Night of the Empire.

How it was made.

Why because I can , and because I love it and her!

One-Liner Wednesday: Unkind.

Why are people so unkind to James Blunt?

Both images from Buzz Feed.

THIS IS PART OF LindaGHill’s One-Liner Wednesday.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS April 24, 2021

Badge by Shelley Krupa.

It’s time again for #SoCs and our host LindaGHill said: “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “oop.” Find a word with the “oop” sound in it and use it in your post. Enjoy!”

Oops I’ve done it again!

So what can I say I seen to bumble through life making the same mistakes over and over, forever jumping through hoops. It’s like an never ending loop, I troop on trying to cope.

I just think I am doing well when I make another bloop and in all my troubles swoop. As ever I end up in the dog poop. So it’s farewell from me the nincompoop.

Well that’s enough of me … Here is an Acrostic Poem to finish off!

Acrostic Oops.

Oops life takes an odd turn
Only I repeat all my mistakes.
Plainly I watch my plans burn.
Swinging on the hoopla that life takes.

Part of LindaGHill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday.

Wordless Wednesday. Sue.

© SueVincent

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