It is Christmas day and I want to say to all those lovely bloggers out there all over the world who read my posts A Very Happy Christmas. Whether or not you celebrate Christmas I want to wish you be blessed, safe and healthy.
Well it’s been a strange year hasn’t it. Full of hardship and problems for all. I imagine you could stop anyone on the street, in any town, city or village in any country or continent and they would have a tale of woe to share with you. So many people have died from the carrona virus. So many people still don’t know how they will be affected by long covid. We lost my mother in law to covid in early June, not long after her 100th birthday.
Then I fell ill, and was in and out of hospital until 27th November when I had an operation. During that time I had a cholosectomy drain and bag for four months. Recently our middle son has contracted covid. He is hopefully on the mend. We have had many other problems this year but that’s just the way it is.
We have had two lockdowns, a first and second wave of covid. We are now in a worse position than ever with two new variants rampaging around and cases and deaths going through the roof . Businesses have crashed, people have lost their jobs, their homes, loved ones…it’s a nightmare. It’s taking much longer than anyone thought. I will not mention governments or leaders who could of done better, by name, they know who they are.
Now Christmas has been curtailed. Where I live we are in tier four which is the highest tier. We personally can not see our children or grandchildren this year and that’s the same for most of us…the sensible ones, the ones who care about others and the rest of the world. Some will ignore the rules and be selfish. Aprantly after Christmas a lot more areas will be going into tier four. It’s not easy and there will be more hardship for all.
Throughout this year front line workers have done a sterling job of being there for us all, over the world. To all of them I say THANK YOU.
We will be cooking an extra meal for our son who has covid and drive it over to his home. We will leave it outside his front door and wave to him through his window. We will also video call him and our other two sons, daughter in law and grandchildren..a little together time, apart.
Well now I hope you all have the best Christmas you can , let’s count our blessings. Maybe this pandemic can teach us that love, kindness and compassion are not just for Christmas or any festival , no those things are for every day. I am looking forward to a hug, a touch and being able to be with family and friends so here’s to the vaccine and better times. Love you all.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
Well I don’t think I want to live forever but I would like to live a little longer….maybe a lot longer. Non of us are immortal and after MIL’s passing losing friends over the years it brings it home to you. One day the boys are going to be the ones to step up to the plate and deal with our funerals.
Now Hubby and I had sorted out a funeral plan for ourselves and we have paid up front, about four years ago. When my sister Mary died, she had arranged every aspect of her funeral and the wake and it made things much simpler and less painful.
It’s not morbid really, we decided we had done our wills ages ago why not make it easy for the boys and sort out our funerals too. So it’s been sorted for s couple of years now.
We could never get Hubby’s mother to sort her funeral or arrangements out infact she would get down right hostile about it! It was a great deal of work to sort it all out…. So we decided to sort ours out. Hubby did his on Friday. He designed his order of service, his music and poems and speeches. So I thought I am a captive patient at the moment so Saturday afternoon I set to and have organised my funeral too.
Like hubby,order of service, music, and where I would like my ashes scattered. ( In Pitshsnger Park Ealing London with Hubbys) I, like Hubby want a simple humanist service with a Celebrant. Up beat an hopefully happy.
We are hoping that this way it will be easier for which ever of us goes first and ultimately easier for the boys …. It is not what any of us want to think of but it will make life a lot easier for those we leave behind. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it.
I have thought long and hard about what music I want and come up with these. I want to go in to Canto Della Terra by Andrea Bocelli
No hymns instead The prayer by Donna Taggart
I have written a thank you note to everyone and asked God / Gaia to look after everyone left behind . Instead of a prayer I feel it’s more heartfelt. I don’t want them feeling they have to say a prayer by rote.
I am going out on a high note with Sia’s Your Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.
I was tired after that so I was in bed by 9pm but I was in a lot of pain so I could not sleep but I got through the night. As it was the 4th July both Independence Day film were on , I couldn’t concentrate so we recorded them to watch later.
Sunday 5th July 2020.
Awake at stupid o’clock, my wound was really sore and I had a thumping headache. I had a paracetamol and that helped a little. I rested in bed until 1pm then got up , Hubby and I had a walk round the block to keep my legs working… I rang the changes and wore a different long scarf to hide my bag.
We had a quiet afternoon and at 5pm we went out and clapped for the NHS’s 72th Anniversary and to wave to our neighbours. I was a little disappointed as not many bothered to come out but that’s their choice , those of us who did showed our gratitude.💜
We had our weekly video virtual get together with our friends up the road, it was hilarious as usual. I was tucked up in bed again by 9pm. It took me ages to get to sleep but eventually I did and I slept better and woke up in less pain.
Mondy 6th July
Awake at not so stupid o’clock, and was feeling marginally better. Hubby walked Ruby and did the housework. I rang round and found a dog groomer who would cut Ruby’s claws for us. She has long quicks in them and we don’t like to risk hurting her. I did get her an appointment and hubby dropped her off there and waited while she was done. It only took 5mins and then he took her on for her afternoon walk.
It’s been a quiet day of mixed weather, we have heard from the boys and one of my sisters. I ached today so after dinner I have asked hubby if we can do a walk around the block to ease things up.
That’s about it for now. I hope you are all feeling good, sending hugs to you all.
Dear friends, and you are all friends, you have proved this more than once. I feel I should explain my absence since 4th June. I have been unable to write or even read any one’s posts, my apologies. Then this morning I spotted how Darswood had said she had wondered where I was and had sent condolences for the family that I should give you a heads up for now.
Firstly, MIL died late night 3rd/ early hours 4th June. The Covid and frailty won in the end. MIL did not go quietly she fought it to the end with every ounce she had. She made her goal, her 100th Birthday and was conscious, up and dressed to celebrate it with the hospital staff and hubby.
Then the days began to blur we fell into a pit of organisation. As you will know if you have been following my #WDIIA posts hubby and his brother and sister do not get on too well. But when MIL died they agreed hubby should organise everything, this is just as well as otherwise it would of been chaos. So he threw himself into arranging the funeral. I gave all the support I could but he was a man on a mission, he wanted to do his mum proud.
We got up at stupid o’clock, we walked Ruby , Hubby arranged the funeral this strange pandemic life continued with its highs and lows.
Stangely I was feeling ill, sleeping, eating and doing even less. I found it hard to write or read. Pains in my shoulders, back, chest, neck, jaw all escalated until we thought heart attack? … But for days? Eventually I rang our GP surgery.
Now going to the GP surgery these days is not normal. You ring up and talk to a non medical receptionist who quizzes you, luckily I was deemed unwell enough to see a duty Dr at 5pm that evening. Instructions : Arrive at carpark wearing a mask and gloves, stand at the first yellow line by the emergency exit and someone will let you in. I was greeted by an woman in brown scrubs, plastic apron, gloves, mask, goggles and a visor. She was actually the Dr. Her PPE and my mask made conversation rather difficult, anyway I had a chat with her then a nurse gave me an ECG. And an appointment for blood test was arranged. ECG was fine.
I am not well
It was a very painful weekend though Saturday we got to see our son , his wife and the grandchildren, under brand new rules we are now allowed to have a BBQ of six people who must socially distancing. You may not go into the host’s house at all. So we had a lovely bbq.. and it was cold and windy and some of the time it rained thank goodness for heavy garden umbrellas. But it was the first chance to see them since lockdown and it was lovely. Some of the above rules have changed again.
As the weekend progressed I got worse. Monday was terrific, pain, Monday night thought I was dying, Tuesday I took to my bed. By 4pm we had to call 101, they sent an Ambulance which took me to E.D. Home at 5am next morning then back at AEC at 11am tests all day, then Ultrasound found the problem. A massively swollen gall bladder full of bile and large stones, one huge one blocking the neck. I was admitted.
Now again because of the pandemic we have to go to hospital unaccompanied, so hubby had spent Monday night and Tuesday not really knowing how I was really coping. Luckily we were in touch by mobile.
Wednesday after nil by mouth I.V. antibiotics, fluids and painkillers overnight on the ward it was decided they would put in a drain and fit a cholecystectomy bag. Mid morning I was taken to ultrasound, the procedure did not go smoothly and it had to be done twice with a CT Angiogram done half way through to see what was going wrong. I might talk about that later but not today, the drain and bag are with me now for 6 to 8 weeks with appointments arranged with the surgeon and then another operation to remove the gall bladder.
Hospitals too at the moment are dark and scary places , staff wearing PPE, and inpatients and outpatients wearing masks and gloves. I will write about about my experiences, fears, what I heard and saw but not now I am tired and I don’t have the muse with me she is on holiday.
I was discharged from hospital Saturday evening, wearing my new accessary the cholecystectomy bag, with scant instructions on how to empty and keep it clean and even less on what I can and can’t do myself, but there’s always Google and my brain to help me with that . So Sunday dawned warm and it was so good to feel safe at home, hubby and I emptied the cholecystectomy bag , over 200mls good I thought it’s draining well , We had a very quiet day and it was good to relax and eat something edible though small. A neighbour rang and whilst they were chatting I was dozing. Hubby looked at my bag and there was another 150 mils in it. He said our neighbour had said it should not be red and looking like tomato sauce and over 300mls was an awful lot to loose since coming home. Thankfully we listened as we knew she was a nurse albeit 34yrs ago.
So it was Sunday evening I was back in hospital much to my distress, thank goodness after 24hrs, more tests, bloods and two nasty injections through a cannular I am back home , grateful and determined to stay here.
Last night I slept like a baby, we were up at a quarter to stupid o’clock. But today is MIL’s funeral and sadly I can’t go, I am not well enough. That again is another post. .
So I am going to stop now as I am exhausted, I have been trying to finish this post on and off for over 12 hours now but I am determined to do so.
The funeral went well, and MIL’s road was lined with her neighbours, family and friends. A mark of the woman she was. Our middle son followed the hearse to the Crematorium as a mark of respect, a one man Cortege. He payed his respects to the 10 family members allowed into the funeral then drove to our house to look after me. In the garden socially distancing.
Hubby and our two other sons attended the funeral, hubby read his lovely eulogy to his mum, the Celebrant spoke beautifully about MIL from what hubby had told her. Hubby and our to other lads joined The middle lad and me in the garden, we made a party of six with Ruby dog, and we were all socially distanced. The boys drifted off one by one the youngest first home to his family, then the middle to his flat our eldest and hubby took Ruby for a walk . Then he went off home too.
Below the music from the funeral.
Mil entered to this as it was a favourite of hers.
This hymn was for all to join in, with was this version.
Unforgettable, bless she is. Was her exit anthem.
So I think that is that for now, I still don’t feel up to being back full time yet. The loss, the cholecystectomy bag, the next op, the fear and pain, pandemic is all a little to much just now. I am here I am trying and it’s so good to know you are all there.
Thank you to Sue at Daily Echo and Ritu at But I Smile Anyway for seeing me through a dark night on the ward. Thank you Marjorie Mallon for her kind words and Darswood for giving me the shove I needed to write this post. To all of you , you know who you are Betty, Geoff, Di, Hugh, Colleen, Dale, Ronovanwrite’s, Kat, John, Jim all of you out there, I am here. I am coming back I just need some time. If your name’s not there consider yourselves all mentioned.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ?
Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
Yes the show must go on, however we feel like shouting STOP! It won’t. We must find our way through the mis-imformation and the contradictory advice, the two faced politicians who treat us with contempt. Yes it’s up to us now to “be alert” what ever that means, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have to “Stay home.” I know what that means… But “be alert” ?? Nah! What’s that all about.
Monday 25 May 2020.
Hubby and I up at stupid o’clock, I really don’t need to tell you but incase anyone has newly arrived I shall explain.
Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.He took Ruby out after his breakfast and after he’d rung the hospital. So started another day… Too early.
Monday was a bank holiday, not that that should mean anything on partial lockdown. Well it didn’t to us really but I am sad to say and appalled by some people in this country, who dashed off to beaches and beauty spots throwing caution and social distancing to the wind.
We spent most of the day trying to get hold of the hospital, it is harder to get through the eye of needle than get any proper information on MIL. Most of the day was spent, cooking, gardening and housework!
News re MIL. Hubby spoke to ward. No change re MIL. Asleep now. Had a comfortable night. Doctor seeing her later and advised to ring back at 2pm.. I asked how long will she stay in bed and how long on introvenous food. .”The nurse didn’t know that’s down to occupation therapist and doctor. Again mentioned hearing aids, his note and MIL having responded to written notes. She said she would write that down…… 🤔….
In the afternoon as advised we tried at 2pm… After calling a dozen times with no answer eventually phone was answered by a physio. He said no nurses around who dealt with MIL. He did not know MIL but got her notes out and said at doctors round this morning the doctor had recorded, no lumber puncture required (no reason stated in the notes!) , to do a CT scan of the head and an ECG. The physio said if he wanted to speak to a doctor I should call between 9 and 10am. Said I had done that today and told to ring back at 2pm. He didn’t know what to say. Communication by them is extremely poor. I fear another complaint to PALS is looming.
We tried again in the evening but didn’t get any real information, she had been restless but was sleeping now, nurse was busy. We felt very frustrated and fobbed off. Not a good day!
Tuesday 26th May 2020
The day started the same as any other of late, Hubby worried about his Mum, endless and fruitless attempts to get through to the ward with no luck. Rang early same old same old. Hubby did the shopping, another successful trip, home safe.
Hubby rang again about 10am and spoke to a Dr who said they would ring later. We waited in all day then at about three when we were taking Ruby out a Dr rang . We picked middle sons washing up for him .
Look all I can say is that this week’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. MIL is not in a good way, this lock down is getting me getting me down. The easing back of restrictions is even more stressful. I actually don’t want to talk about it anymore this week.
ENOUGH
Wedneday 27thMay.2020
Up stupid o’clock, Pilates at 10.30am, walked Ruby in the afternoon.
Numerous calls to hospital no good news.
Thursday 28th May 2020
Same as same as. No Pilates. Last official clap for NHS. May carry on if everyone else does.
Friday 29th May 2020.
Bad night waking up every two hours with cramp and bad dreams. So up at Stupid o’clock today hubby was so tired he stayed in bed until nearly 9am. So I fed, medicated and let Ruby out.
Before Hubby got up I did two Lesley Sansone exercise videos. Then after breakfast we took Ruby to a completely different places for a walk. She loved it we loved it, it was great to have a change and there were not too many people around! As it was around 10am , drs rounds hubby rang the hospital it took hubby an hour to get through to the ward but it was worth it as a Dr answered the phone.!
The Dr said MIL sitting up and looking around, he also said no change and still treating her for inflation of the brain due to Covid19. He said she is frail and it could go either way. They will decide if she can be moved to us but at the moment they just don’t know which way it will go. Feel a bit more positive as she is sitting up and alert.
We got home hubby contacted the boys, and people who want to know about MIL. I did the housework. I do feel better than yesterday, let’s hope the rest of the day can be as nice, less stressful and free from mixed up messages. I am sorry I lost it yesterday… I shall leave that in because this is real!
Time for a happy song. This one is to all WARRIORS. MIL IS ONE TOO.
She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.
Why am I writing this post ? Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.
Yes we are all hoping for a cure or a vaccine but these things do not happen overnight. Young parents must be wondering what future their children have been born into. I fear for my children and my grandchildren. The thought of being a new mum right now seems very bleak to me.
So you must if got my mornings by now, up at stupid o’clock, feed Ruby, hubby up at sensible o’clock, has breakfast. Get some jobs done, clean kitchen window inside and out and plastic surrounds on kitchen door. Extra to normal cleaning and wiping down.
Had a zoom call organised with a friend at 11.30am. Just getting ready for this when a neighbour rang with a problem. That sorted by phone. I was half an hour late for my zoom coffee date!
In the after making hubby lunch I have no recollection of what we did. We rang the hospital twice as we kept getting conflicting news the top and bottom of it is she is very confused, she thinks she is on holiday and her speech is very gabblled. I had to miss a writing sprint schedule for the afternoon due to family issues. Oh! And we drove over and dropped our middle son’s clean washing off. We put it on his doorstep and talk to him throughout the window then we get back in the car he comes out as we drive off and waves goodbye 💜
Well it was Thursday night so at 8pm we joined the neighbours, at a sensible distance to cheer and clap for the NHS and all keyworkers. I took one of my posters out and waved it about while cheering. Next week I am going to take out some saucepan lids and make a bigger noise!
Hey there! It’s January 13th and time for your 13th daily prompt for LindaGHill’s Just Jot it January 2020. Your prompt today is brought to us by Willow!. Hey that’s me, do pop by and say hello. I’d be glad to meet you .
Your prompt for JusJoJan January 13th, 2020, is “subscribe.” Use the word “subscribe” any way you’d like. Have fun.
Well can you believe it today I have chosen the prompt and not only am I extremely late posting but I cannot seem to write a word of interest. I have tried a poem, a story and even plain facts but I just can’t find my muse. I don’t subscribe to the train of thought that life is what you make it, if was there would be no poor, no pain no misery because if life is what you make it why would you make it so bad?
Also in April I was off to The Silent Eye, Gilgamesh weekend in Derbyshire where I met old friends and new. I also learned a lot about Gilgamesh and myself.
May was a glorious month, mother in law was 99yrs old, hubby had a birthday the day after her but he is not as ancient! We had a trip to the Gower Peninsula and took Ruby with us. We have not been to Wales for years but instantly fell in love with the beauty, history and feel of the place💜
June arrived and I was so excited because The Blogger’s Bash arrived. I travelled up to London by train and this year there were no hitches and I met up with four fellow bloggers as arranged and we all sauntered along to the venue. A great day was had by all.
August was more fun as I got better we met friends for lunch and went out with our youngest son and our eldest grandchild to see a Dinosaur show in London. A great day out.
Then finally it was time for our Canadian adventure, we toured from Calgary to Vancouver on the Rocky Mountaineer experience and via Helicopter rides and fabulous scenic attractions, then we had three days in Vancouver, after which we hired a car and drove to Whistler for three days. Then back to Vancouver and home. It was a holiday of a lifetime. I met dragons
Many years ago I decided to stop accepting awards and made my blog an award free zone. That is not to say I do appreciate these awards because I do and I always acknowledge them and thank the blogger who nominated me and if I know I also mention the blogger from whom the award originated.
Well this one The Blogger Recognition Award has plopped into my email box four times this week and so as it is mainly about passing tips on to new bloggers I have decided to accept.
First of all let’s say thank you to Jim Webster and Roberta Eaton and Sue Vincent and also Mary Smith for nominating me. All of them eminent bloggers and I am sure you have come across their blogs and their books and really enjoyed them.
Now here are the rules
1. Thank the blogger(s) who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
2. Write a post to show your award.
3. Give a brief story of how your blog started.
4. Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
5. Select up to fifteen bloggers you want to give this award to.
6. Comment (or pingback) on each blog to let them know that you’ve nominated them and provide a link to the post you’ve created.
I started blogging over seven years ago while I was recovering from a serious accident. I was in hospital over a month and had three operations. When I finally left hospital I had to learn to walk again and cope with a changed life. I found this very hard at first, my friends circle grew smaller but as I have since realised those who remained are the good ones. I had to retire something I was not in anyway prepared for. Anyway it’s been a long process. At first I was very depressed, I felt limited and trapped and actually very angry. After nearly three years I was referred to a pain clinic where I met an excellent pain phycologist who after talking with me for a couple of sessions suggested I write my pain and frustration out. Two of my sons suggested I start a blog. With their help I did. At first my blog was a miserable and dark place to begin with.
I feel I have grown since those dark days, I have learned a lot from the many beautiful people on wordpress. I can honestly say blogging saved my life ..thank you everyone you have all helped me.
Advice
My first piece of advice is take time to find your niche you may try a few different styles before you are happy with your blog. Try not to talk too much about your private life unless that is what your blog is about. It can get nasty and cause rows if you are washing your laundry in public.
My second piece of advice is always read and comment on others blogs. Do have conversations with other bloggers it feels so good to give and receive support from other bloggers. Always be kind remember you may need support one day. I have made so many real friends on wordpress and this will be true of all blogging platforms.
Well Hello everyone, I am excited and delighted, why? Well I don’t usually win prizes…. I even once came second , but because only the first places were announced and I was told quietly, I have had to keep that a secret too. But I knew and for that I am happy.
Now I digress I was telling you all about my beautiful prize 💜. My lovely blog sister, Suzi Tench who blogs at My Colourful Life. Ran a competition drawn, the prize was a journal made by her. I won!
I missed the post lady when she brought the package on Thursday so Hubby popped up to town on the Friday to collect the package for me. Unfortunately he came up against a jobs worth , so he asked for it to be delivered again. It arrived today.
What a beautiful caseFull of goodies and a card.With a perfect MaximFull of lovely thingsMy attempt at flatlay.
Then I had another surprise I opened up the journal and found it was all laid out for me month by month. 😁
Excuse my shadow
So thank you so much Suzi I can’t wait to start using it 💜💜
So here is the list of my goodies.
4 beautiful magnetic page markers
4 rolls of coloured tape
4 flavoured teas
A Rose hand cream
A beautiful tin of scented candles
A very cute pink biro
A silver pencil case
A pack of thirty colouring pencils
A Zen colouring book
And by beautiful journal.
I am a lucky blogger, so I suggest everyone pops over to Suzi’s blog, this month she is doing a Blogmas Series.
