It has been too long

Do you remember the last time we kissed I do not mean a peck on the cheek.It was so long ago. When did you last just reach out and touch me, the knowledge leaves me weak. You have no idea how much I have missed  a hug a cuddle or just being kissed.

How has it come to this, how can we have slipped so far from married bliss. I know that love cools but ours has turned to ice there is no affection no heat but you can be kind you can be very nice.

I am lost and lonely there has been just you and you only. I should of guessed I should of known you found someone else and away from me you have grown.

It has been twelve years now, why have I stayed, why have I accepted things do you think of me as a stupid cow? When you first went, the bottom fell out of my life how could you do this to me, how could I not of known after all I am your wife.

I took you back, I got on the see saw I have no one to blame but myself for all the times I have hit my head against the door.There is no tenderness there is no lust it hurts me so, my heart has turned to dust. I have no longer any tender care I have no longer passion. I have so wanted love and sex why did I accept to live life in this fashion.

Over forty years we’ve been man and wife,  you have put a hold on my life.

So many times you are away I have to cover up I have to think of something  to say. Silences, angry quiet, and yet sometimes there is fun what is  this double life OH! what have we become.

It was never easy it has never been a smooth run but I have always loved you, you’ve been my moon and sun. I never have been good enough and neither now are the kids but would you be good enough for them, if they knew what you did.

I am sitting here alone on this rainy afternoon I feel my life has been stolen I have been left here like a ship marooned. There is no right , there is no wrong the last twelve years thrown away for a song.I was so young when we met I have good memories which I have kept.

I never know what will set you off when I will do something wrong so you can shout or shut me out ,which you can do for so long. Where is the honour where is the respect … I have always obeyed . I think I am stupid now this life could of been better played

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have always loved this song Alanis Morissette has always sung my life.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wellie
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 17:06:09

    This is so full of emotion, I could feel everything just reading it.

    Reply

  2. granbee
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 17:59:13

    My heart is breaking for you! The only thing I can say is “Learn to love yourself for yourself, not as a wife!” Always praying for you, dear willowdot!

    Reply

  3. giselzitrone
    Jun 06, 2012 @ 11:26:49

    Wünsche dir einen schönen Tag eine traurige Geschichte aber die Liebe tut manches mal sehr weh und die Narben bleiben für immer im Herzen.Wünsche dir einen schönen Tag Grüsse lieb Gislinde.http://zitroneblog.wordpress.com

    Reply

  4. stephenedwards425
    Jun 06, 2012 @ 19:58:46

    I’ve never said this to you before, but…

    get out

    Reply

  5. WordsFallFromMyEyes
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 05:42:50

    If you can imagine all of the blood in one’s body falling to their feet, and they faint – that is how I feel, Willowdot21. I don’t know why, but I imagined you to be in your 20s. This must be how young you are of heart. This is a compliment.
    Yet here, you talk of being man & wife for 40 years. Wow.

    Reply

  6. simon7banks
    Jun 19, 2012 @ 15:34:06

    I can find nothing to say but I feel for you. What is telling you you don’t have strength?

    Reply

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