Bad Me Days

Photo credits google images

What I am about to say is selfish I know but it will not go away. It gets harder to cope with everyday. If I tell you now, how it eats at me you will think me vain I am not sure if you will understand what I see.

I have worked hard to regain myself from an accident that tried to put me on the shelf. It took all I had to keep me sane to get focused and ready to walk again.

I need to be grateful this I know but the feelings in my head just will not let go. I feel so me, in my brain but what I see in the mirror causes me so much pain.

I know it is stupid, I know it vain  I know it is selfish I have told myself over and over again but what I see in the mirror is not me what has happened to my body. I understand my back is no longer straight and I have lost more than 2inches in hight . Where am I, where have I gone that woman in the mirror is sort of me  but no she is so wrong.

I really don’t know what to say. I want to get this out of my head I want all these feelings ….just please make them go away. I try hard ,I smile I laugh and try to be kind I do all I have to and more. Yet still I am going out of my mind.

Right or wrong I have said it now, so please don’t judge me I am sorry I know I should be grateful that I can walk. I know I should,  but thank you for listening as I talked.

 

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