This part of Ronovan writes Friday Flash fiction . here is the pingback to his page and the rules
The challenge this week is to take the title of a favourite song and write a story from the title.
I chose Not now but soon , by Imogen Heap. You can hear it here. If you wish.
———————-
Not now but soon.
James was always busy, always in a hurry. He never had time to play with children or even finish a meal with his wife.
Work was demanding, it was important. Think about it, he would justify it to himself, if he did not work so hard they would not have this fabulous home. Every year they had at least three holidays abroad and it was not cheap boarding the kids to that private school .
Gen sat in her kitchen with a cup of coffee. All alone as usual James had left early on a business trip, the children still at school for another week.
She had asked James to stay and have a serious talk but had only got the stock answer from him, Not now but soon.
Gen felt the emptiness of the house engulfing her. She looked across at the pile of Christmas decorations in the corner of the room. She wept at the thought of decorating this empty space not a home not anything.
James passed through security at the airport heading straight for the gate. He decided to ring home to say bye to Gen and remind her to collet his suit for Thursday.
Gen was heading up the stairs when the phone in her pocket rang. ‘Hey babe’ he said, have you got my suit yet?’ She replied in the affirmative! ‘And my shoes’ he asks breaking in to a run.
Not now but soon he hears Gen say.
He stops in his tracks and asks her what did she say? The phone is dead, she has gone!
James settles on the plane slightly irritated by Gen’s reply about his shoes. Well it will just have to wait until his return Wednesday night.
Gen lies in her perfect bathroom light streaming in onto her face. Her eyes are closed. All her pain is slipping away, the bath water is red, the bottles of tablets empty on the floor next to the Whiskey.
Am I dead yet she wonders , calmly she knows not now but soon.
James dashes in Wednesday evening grabbing his suit from the hall he runs upstairs shouting to Gen that they must talk , not now he is running late but soon yes soon.
In the bedroom he sees his shoes laid out, he breathes a sigh of relief. Wondering where Gen is he could do with a sandwich before he leaves.
James enters the bathroom and there she is …….
__ __ __ __ __ __
This my first attempt at flash fiction so any comments welcome. Thanks.
Dec 11, 2015 @ 18:23:13
All your practice at creating this blog has certainly paid off, my lady. This is powerful, gripping, and, all-too-real….. Very well done.
In fact, I’d copyright it, and send it to an agent to try to sell….
Truth.
gigoid
Dec 11, 2015 @ 18:33:13
Thank you Ned praise indeed from you. My work is copyedited.xxx
Dec 11, 2015 @ 18:52:42
I can think of at least five magazines that would print such a story….
I’m sure you can, too….
😉
Good job, milady.
gigoid
Dec 11, 2015 @ 18:57:36
You are a support thank you!
Dec 11, 2015 @ 19:50:04
Very well written! Wow very powerful
Dec 11, 2015 @ 22:11:59
Thank you Lynz xx
Dec 11, 2015 @ 22:25:51
I didn’t see that ending coming at all!
Dec 12, 2015 @ 07:58:59
Yes I agree with the others. You should do more, try different styles. It’s nicely done this, with the recurring phrase well used to emphasise the distance between the couple. So sad.
Dec 14, 2015 @ 12:02:37
I do try to vary my styles but I tend to hide behind verse. I enjoy story writing but I admit it is out of my comfort zone 🙂
Dec 14, 2015 @ 21:53:26
Ah yes keep pushing
Dec 15, 2015 @ 10:33:19
Will do:)
Dec 12, 2015 @ 16:40:55
er, outch! The emotion of this, the message – all very good elements.
Dec 12, 2015 @ 16:50:17
Thank you I tried to show the different ways people can be together alone and not know it!
Dec 12, 2015 @ 19:52:20
Willow, this is my second reading of the story and it’s very well put together and gripping. You’ll have to keep this genre going! Talent abounds.
Dec 14, 2015 @ 11:56:56
Thank you Jean you always give me good honest advice xxx
Dec 14, 2015 @ 17:27:46
You’re more than welcome.
Dec 17, 2015 @ 17:35:58
An all too real story. I agree with your fans and their comments. Other than some basic editing and proofing, this is excellent for your first try or any try really. You captured the emotions and the dialogue just right. Thank you for joining in. I hope you do more. And the Tan Man is right, try different styles as well as genres. That helps bring out a voice in your writing and discover a style you may not know you are meant for.
Dec 17, 2015 @ 17:47:38
Thank you Ronovan I have always wanted to make the jump to writing prose, I am still not sure if am really ready yet but I am very encouraged by yours and everyone’s opinions! I will join in your Friday flash fiction again very soon. 🙂
Dec 18, 2015 @ 05:51:12
A fantastic first attempt! It was well written, and gripping
Dec 18, 2015 @ 09:57:19
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment 🙂
Dec 18, 2015 @ 10:00:30
You’re welcome! 😊
Dec 18, 2015 @ 10:01:37
Have you done a flash fiction I am about to look
Dec 18, 2015 @ 10:03:30
Yes I have! Let me know what you think!
Dec 18, 2015 @ 10:09:33
I just have 😉