Loveuary Day 17: Never to See you.

The  lovely  and  talented Ritu  of butIsmileanyway.com has set us all off on Loveuary. I for one am excited with the task. What is love? We shall find out as the month goes on.

Link to Ritu’s post.
Link to rules and prompts

Today Day  17  I  am going  off  prompt  to  present  one of  my  own. I am a  grandma   of  a  beautiful  boy , ( dearest  boy, Newbie) . Sadly  things  have  not  always  run  smoothly  in  the  34 months that  he  has  been on  this  planet. I  wrote  this  poem at  worst of  times  for  me. Things  are  far  from  perfect  even  now  but  there is  a  thaw  and  we  do  see the  darling  boy  occasionally. Also  there is  another  grandchild  due in June ….another  boy. My  husband and I shall never  be  as involved  as  my  daughter in law’s  parents  but  that  is  not  for  lack of  trying.

So  today’s  post  is  about  the pain  caused  by  a  rift  in  a  family  the  love  for  a  grandchild  or  even  child  that  one  can  not  see  for  whatever reason. loveuary

Never  to  see  you  again.

If I never  saw  you again? I would not die.

There would be nothing I’d want to see. I would cry.

If I never  heard  your little voice? It would not be of  my choice.

There’ll music, speech and birdsong. Yet nothing to make  me rejoice.

 

So  full of  hopes  and dreams, for you was I

I hoped  to spoil  you, teach you, love you  then watch you fly.

I may not  witness all this now, it is true.

Please believe  me, to not see you, is not  what I want to do.

 

If I never  held  your hand again. It would cause  me pain

Photos  and second hand  news are not the same.

I shall carry  my  memories with me all the time

I shall savour  them as a glass of of vintage wine.

 

Let me tell you now, though  you may never see this page

I pray all this will pass and something will dissolve the ‘Adults’rage.

Watching  you from afar, keeping  you in mind, praying all will be well.

I shall pray every night  for sense to win out, and end this hell.

 

loveuary-logo

Zip it up

Zip it shut sew it up tight
Stop the babble of words
Nothing of use, nothing right
An outpouring of wingless birds.

Get me a plate I shall eat them all
Please let me take them back
Every last one chokes,big and small.
I will shallow them all, I will retract.

I never wanted to cause any pain
Believe me I meant no harm
Words I had heard again and again.
Lost now in this storm with no calm.

Words are weapons that wound and kill
My ears burn from what has been said
My throat torn out, now my voice is still.
Words lie bleeding words lie dead.

It is all too late there is no way back
Too many silences too much pain
One word needed but of it there a lack
Sorry, sorry this is insane.

Zip it shut sew it up tight
Stop the babble of words
Nothing of use, nothing right
A sad outpouring of wingless birds!

Not now but soon

This part of Ronovan writes Friday Flash fiction . here is the pingback to his page and the rules

image

The challenge this week is to take the title of a favourite song  and write a story from the title.
I chose Not now but soon , by Imogen Heap. You can hear it here.  If you wish.

———————-

Not now but soon.

James  was always busy, always in a hurry. He never had time to play with children or even finish a meal with his wife.
Work was demanding, it was important. Think about it, he would justify it to himself, if he did not work so hard they would not have this fabulous home. Every year they had at least three holidays abroad and it was not cheap boarding the kids to that private school .

Gen sat in her kitchen with a cup of coffee. All alone as usual James had left early on a business trip, the children still at school for another week.
She had asked James to stay and have a serious talk but had only got the stock answer from him, Not now but soon.

Gen felt the emptiness of the house engulfing her. She looked across at the pile of Christmas decorations in the corner of the room. She wept at the thought of decorating this empty space not a home not anything.

James passed through security at the airport heading straight for the gate. He decided to ring home to say bye to Gen and remind her to collet his suit for Thursday.

Gen was heading up the stairs when the phone in her pocket rang. ‘Hey babe’ he said, have you got my suit yet?’ She replied in the affirmative! ‘And my shoes’ he asks breaking in to a run.
Not now but soon he hears Gen say.
He stops in his tracks and asks her what did she say? The phone is dead, she has gone!

James settles on the plane slightly irritated by Gen’s reply about his shoes. Well it will just have to wait until his return Wednesday night.

Gen lies in her perfect bathroom light streaming in onto her face. Her eyes are closed. All her pain is slipping away, the bath water is red, the bottles of tablets empty on the floor next to the Whiskey.
Am I dead yet she wonders , calmly she knows not now but soon.

James dashes in Wednesday evening grabbing his suit from the hall he runs upstairs shouting to Gen that they must talk , not now he is running late but soon yes soon.

In the bedroom he sees his shoes laid out, he breathes a sigh of relief. Wondering where Gen is he could do with a sandwich  before he leaves.

James enters the bathroom and there she is …….
__ __      __  __      __ __

This my first attempt at flash fiction so any comments welcome. Thanks.

Nano Poblano : Day 29. If I never

If I never  saw  you again? I would not die.

There would be nothing I’d want to see. I would cry.

If I never  heard  your little voice? It would not be of  my choice.

There’ll music, speech and birdsong. Yet nothing to make  me rejoice.

 

So  full of  hopes  and dreams, for you was I

I hoped  to spoil  you, teach you, love you  then watch you fly.

I may not  witness all this now, it is true.

Please believe  me, to not see you, is not  what I want to do.

 

If I never  held  your hand again. It would cause  me pain

Photos  and second hand  news are not the same.

I shall carry  my  memories with me all the time

I shall savour  them as a glass of of vintage wine.

 

Let me tell you now, though  you may never see this page

I pray all this will pass and something will dissolve the ‘Adults’rage.

Watching  you from afar, keeping  you in mind, praying all will be well.

I shall pray every night  for sense to win out, and end this hell.

If  I never………..

 

TEAM Mark 

 

Long distance love.

And still, around my wrist, I carry the key to your heart

My love untouched , unchanged  by the miles that keep us apart.

I reach out for you, do you reach out for me

So much  between us now , fields cliffs and sea.

This hunger in my soul is gorging me from the inside out

I can no longer bleed, or eat or cope I need you so, no doubt.

 

I see you in my mind’s eye,  I crave for you to be here

I reach out to you I feel that I could die. I need your touch, your kiss I need you near.

We are far apart, reaching out to you our skin does not touch skin

My heart is breaking , frozen and cold ice flows through my veins so thin.

Where are you now, my love are you still breathing

This need , this lust for you will not cease . It hurts, it hurts like grieving!

 

 

 

 

 

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