Everything I touch goes bad and turns to poison.
This is not the path that I would of willingly chosen.
I say too much or I am too quiet
It’s my life, you want to try it?
Treading eggshells day after day
Bleeding feet with scars that won’t go away.
My heart torn out and pinned to my sleeve.
Painful thoughts my soul will deceive.
Life becomes a rotting corpse, nerves long stopped twitching.
Millions of flies escaping out, buzzing around the kitchen
Everything sullied and spoiled no escape from this life of toil
Every attempt at escape viciously smashed down and foiled !
This life so bitter has a sting
Hands red red raw, reacting to a wedding ring!
The flour covered worktop such a mess
Takes all day to clear up, smile and your true feelings repress!
willowdot21 
Feb 21, 2014 @ 23:37:17
Wow, such strong imagery–both words and visual. You have tied these two together so well. As someone who has dealt with depression, this really touches things dead on. I feel totally understood.
Feb 22, 2014 @ 09:01:17
I am so pleased to have touched you Deborah but I hope I have not opened any old wounds. I often thought (falsely) that I was on my own . How wrong I was 😉 I hope more realize they are or were not alone. Hugs xx
Feb 22, 2014 @ 10:30:32
Oh, Willow! You are so sweet to be concerned, but it’s really ok. Even though it’s been a long battle, I am finally clearing a path that allows the beast to find his way to some kind of rest. I am never crazy enough to believe that I’m “over it,” but there have been giant improvements in my ways of dealing with it, and that has made a huge difference for me. So, for all the times I have been misunderstood while going through it, it’s so refreshing to feel understood, rather than having people look at me puzzled or with pity or some combination of the two. It would appear you and I are more alike than we realized.
Feb 22, 2014 @ 10:39:51
Yes how strange that is separated by thousands of miles but being of like minds and bound by similar demons we are one at heart. I hope that that does not sound twee or false. Like you I have dragged and crawled through the horrors of depression always striving to present a smiling capable personna to the world. Also like you I know the black dog (that’s how I see my depression) is waiting in the shadows waiting for an excuse to pounce. Be blessed with a happy contented soul you deserve it. Xc
Feb 22, 2014 @ 14:35:55
It doesn’t sound bad at all. These are the connections that help us get through the rough times, even when we’re not consciously aware of them. My rescue dog actually is black (and very small), but for me I’ve always personified depression as the beast. Interesting how they take on identities, but it is true that eventually you realize that it is an “entity” of some kind, and that you have a relationship with it. That’s been the saving feature for me is that I’m finally renegotiating the relationship. I’m much more content that I used to be. It feels good to finally be making peace with the beast. For the longest time, I hadn’t thought it was possible.
Thanks Willow! (HUGS!) xxx
Feb 22, 2014 @ 16:09:17
It is so much better when we face up to these things it does not make it any easier but it makes it manageable if you can visualize and know your enemy!
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