willowdot21

A secret for Romi

Girl showing a drawing and smiling — My Home

Romi Romi follow your star, home for you is where Mum and Dad are. You are so lucky a perfect little girl with a bouncy little brother to keep you in a whirl.

Things are not always easy and sometimes it doesn’t seem fair but you need never worry as long as Mummy and Daddy are there. Soon you will be flying with Beau up in an aroplane to places unknown. Now that might seem scary but let me make this clear with Mummy and Daddy with you there is nothing to fear.

It is never easy to leave friends and home and fly across the world to a different time zone. Just look at it this way with Beau, Mummy and Daddy at your side you’ll always be home where ever, world wide. It will be hard to leave Nanny and Granddad alone but they will still be there waiting for you when you return to their home.

Now here is a trick and it is a secret Romi, just for you. If you pick a sparkling star in the night sky and Nanny does too. Where ever you are you can look up to the sky and find your star. Just remember that Nanny does that too, to see where you are. Which means you are together no matter how far the miles between you both are. Close your eyes and reach out your hand and Nanny could almost be with you, together you’ll stand.

Nothing lasts forever and things change, it’s true. Yet Nanny and Granddad will always be here for you . So leave with stars in your eyes and smiles in your heart no amount of miles can keep you apart. Walls and roofs do not make make a home but Mummy, Daddy and Beau do, because no matter where you are you will not be alone.

Two Faced Mask

Why do we think one thing and say another ? Why do we lie to ourselves and to each other. Why bend the truth when it suits us and pretend we care, for in truth we don’t and turn our backs fooling ourselves that we are not there.

Why do we show the world one face and our loved ones something completely different.It makes no sense to fawn on those who mean so little and then push the ones we love so hard that the ties that bind become taught and brittle.

Why put on the good mask for the world, smile and be kind, bend over backwards to help others. Then go home and complain that we feel used and put on and unappreciated by our sisters and our brothers. It is those who love and support us that we should care for not people who we hardly know and who would happily just sweep us up like rubbish on the floor.

Why hurt the ones that love us the most with uncaring unkind words. Why shout and rant, why break and bluster ignoring their pain and shock at our attacks. Why, when we have a bad day or feel hard done by do we make them take the flack. Why smile at the person opposite you and help them with their shopping off the train. I am not advocating we all become selfish, lets help folk but be honest with each other. I fear my words are in vain.

Why put on the smiling face protesting love and all is well when things are not ,they are are upside down and we feel like hell. So what if the world of strangers see us for what we are ,occasionally. The world will not stop spinning if we told the truth and showed how we felt. Surely that is not a truth too far.

Why does the world not see the face that you present to me.Why can’t it see the other side that is fuelled with hate and swelled by pride. The angry, loud voice kept just for me. Share it with the world and set me free.

Why then, I could unleash my mask throw off fear, no longer tread on broken glass! Be honest to myself and not worry about the consequences. Not to dread returning home or pretend to be happy when left alone. To say what I think and why. To tell the truth with no fear. To be free and happy is all I ask but like most of us I will continue to use the mask.

Cities Burning

Stomp stomp there’s panic on the streets. They are tearing through the alleys and taunting the police. They are burning shops and peoples homes. No matter how hard people have worked and made their businesses by working fingers to the bone. Families frightened out of their minds, running across the roof tops escaping flames, shocked and lost having left all they own behind.

Smash Smash they are breaking lots of glass stealing trainers, clothes and handbags this is not the poor under class. This is not political they have no high ideals. They are not the poor underdogs who can’t afford their meals. If you can carry a Blackberry phone and a fashionable track suit and designer trainers you own, your on another track., you are in another zone.

Stamp stamp the sound of running feet they are all carrying 75 inch screens and DVD recorders by the score. “Take what you can when you can” is the gang call of the suedo poor. Flames, flames police cars have been torched whole shops and all their contents have all been thoroughly scorched!

People without their livelihoods, people without their homes all because these feral louts threw fire bombs and stones. They rant and rave and scream and bleat that they are fighting for a cause , they have no hope they say, no jobs and no one for them cares. There are the jobs and there are the chances we all get just the same it just some of us make our own way and don’t take benefits just for gain.

A good man lost his youngest son whilst on a vigilantes line, he only wanted to call a holt to the rioters forward drive. Just because he stood for right , these ferals having fun, drove through his line killing three, his youngest son was one.

If ever we needed a hero, a strong leader to come along, we need them now ! We need the police to stand up and use measures hard and strong, for what these evil robbing thieves are doing, is all wrong.

riots-looters-arma_1967432c — Feral Looters

Death by Aid

Tiny little fingers in the dust, huge eyes so sad begging for your crust. You are so hungry you need it for you but this is your child, who you can’t deny, true?

Hunger gnawing at your bones like cancer spreading fast. You worry if you’ll be strong enough to find water, as what you have just will not last.

No one is going to help you, your sons and daughters gone for soldiers.These two left will escape that fate as they will not grow much older. Your milk dried up, your belly empty. It hurts so much to walk but walk you must, you can’t stop. The baby at your breast has long since ceased crying. This sweet young child clinging to your skirt is dying.

stolen childhood — the child at your hem. instablogsimages.com/images/

Where is the help that was promised where is the aid that you need. You have walked days now with no hope of helping your children not even to feed. The baby needs medicine the western doctors dispense you have to flee from your home just were is the sense.

War at your left side famine at your right , politicians and corrupt leaders uncaring of your plight. Had you stayed they would of killed you or worse …OH! my poor children your birth is your curse.

Standing at the top of the hill you can see a straggling encampment a red cross flag flying still. You put down the baby his soul already flown to your husbands arms now, at least not alone. You need to rest but your aim is in reach . You lay in the dust next to your babes, close your eyes just ignore the flies.

Tiny little fingers in the dust , huge eyes so sad finally closed. Where is the help that was promised where is the aid.War on your left side famine at your right they no longer threaten you Death has arrive to erase your plight.

The Rainbow Cake

The world was like a mixing bowl before we made the cake. Empty, clean and ready to start the cake we wished to bake. We got busy and selected our ingredients and made sure that they were the best, nothing less than new and pure would be used for this fest!

We needed a Rainbow Cake to bind us all together , we needed a Rainbow Mix to get us to meld for the better. We needed moving out of the primeval slime. What we needed were colours that would make us shine perhaps a little lemon mixed with a dash of lime.

The Rainbow Mix was not very mellow it had ridged colours red, orange,green, blue, violet, indigo and yellow. As time went on this no longer worked too many colours and textures were thrown in to bowl. Pride , joy, love,hate, vengeance, desire, not to mention a large pinch of soul. While these feelings were mixing we had to separate the tribes black white yellow brown into cups and set them by the fire. Yes there were more than just a few but they all added to the hue.

We could not leave the tribes too long in the heat for they would spoil, and we could ill afford that, then, after all our toil. We whisked them thoroughly and when they started to peak we folded them in gently with love into the Rainbow Mix. Little tasters we would sneak.

The oven was heated and the mix was put in, we all watched in wonder, we could not believe our eyes as the layers, though very thin, began to rise.

It looked so very lovely soft and full of colour it really was a prize. When the cake was baked we put it out to cool it looked so different to what we had before , it was our shining jewel.

We took the soft and powdery snow from off the mountain tops and mixed it with waters of the oceans blue and made a wondrous icing , Oh! yes we did it’s true. The stars and the moon looked and marvelled at our treasure and even the golden sun smiled down on it with pleasure.

So now we had our Rainbow Cake all shiny and new all types of soul and colour here, every tint and hue. Lets not waste it’s message lets all start anew we could all happily mix together . I know we can it is true!

My Name Is Despair

You can run and you can hide but you can’t escape me. You can look high and low but you won’t find me , you know! Race through the grass, skid through the reeds wade through the river in your bid to be free. Keep your eyes open don’t let me catch you sleeping. I am as unaffected by your smile as I am by your weeping.

Dark Fear — http://osomo-dispettong.blogspot.com/

In the deepest dark or the brightest light I can haunt you, be it day or night. Haunt yes I truly will I don’t care if you are healthy or if you are ill. I am always there waiting to pounce I take your dreams and ideals and just when you miss them I pounce.

I am mean and I am dark I have bony fingers with sharp dirty nails, if I click them they spark.You won’t see me nor will you hear my foot fall I can surround you making no sound at all.

You can’t escape me, how ever hard you try. I shall be with you until the day you die. I will be there right at your side you can not shake me so wear me with pride. I am your failings I am your faults I live in your mind and hide in your vaults.

I am your darkness I am your fear you don’t need to search for me as I am always here. What is my name …….. it is Despair.

Truth Wept

The light is blinding and white. I try to take a step but I am frozen by fright. What is there beyond the door , we have all wondered and asked this before.

If fear is the enemy then who is by my side I thought it was truth but truth wept as it lied.

There is something though I feel a steadying hand and a voice that is telling me that all has been planned.Tell me please I start to cry,why did he leave me, why did truth lie?

I reach for the peace I long to hold, it always eludes me and leaves me cold. I tread carefully along the floor, it always betrays me and creaks as I near the door. Will I ever know the answer, will my fears ever fly, I though truth was my ally but truth ,well, truth lied.

I am tired now my strength is all spent I look for hope but he also went. I move forward escape to gain but I am betrayed my efforts in vain. My eyes are opened my vision now cleared I turn for support but it ends as I feared.

If fear is the enemy then who is by my side I thought it was truth but truth wept as it lied.

Flying high and waving furiously

Flying high and waving furiously, you all look so far away and small to me. I truly wish that as sore and fly my troubled mind would empty and set me free.

You can’t see me up here in the blue as you prod my empty body and wonder why I do not act as you, no you just get annoyed at the things I do. Why, you ask me time and time again do I mess my life up again and again. Is it any wonder then that I am up here waving, ignoring your the words whispering in my brain.

I had to cut my ties and hit the skies for I can no longer walk the well worn path. It is not the easy choice I make but I took it quickly and for my own sake. I was selfish that is true I did this just for me , for once and not for you.

Looking for escape I try to keep my spirits high ,I love the blue I love the sky so what better place to try . Your pressure and your demands have become too much , I fear your words, I fear your touch.

I may not make it, that is true . Chances do not come often in fact they are few. So I will grab this dream with both hands and gather up my life of many strands and pray that some time soon I find the answer for it eludes me still.

Flying high and waving furiously, you all look so far away and small to me. I truly wish that as sore and fly my troubled mind would empty and all my fears would die.

Realisation

Drip drip falls the rain making little puddles, I am sitting here in the warm, a cup of coffee in my hand, my mind in such a muddle. I take a sip and watch the streams of water running down the window pane. I sit here and look at my life, I try to change it all, but all in vain.

Pit pat goes my heart with the rain keeping time. The phone rings it makes me jump. “Hello, hello yes I am just fine” Am I fine I just don’t know , I know I am tired and I know I’m feeling low. Looking at my life today I feel like I have received the finale blow.Little raindrops on my window, tell me please , it is not so.

reaching for life — http://mynewgulch.blogspot.com

The voice on the phone is pulling me back from my daydream, “no, no sorry he is not here he is not home” Hanging up and once again alone. I sip my coffee and shift my position . The rain is still falling and running down the window as if it is on a life’s mission.

The post lays on the table unsorted and unread , the housework calls but I am blocking it out of my head.If the children were small and dependant on me they would not get fed, there’d be no tea. Luckily they are not here all moved on.Grown and flown just like a song.

All those thing I could of , should of done are wasted now all gone . I see where I should of been what I should of worn what I should of seen. But I hesitated and it all slipped from my grasp. So I jumped into the arms of the first one who asked . I panicked but it felt safe for a while.Looking back it was far from safe so I smile a wry smile.

369870-drinking_tea_amp_watching_rain_window_its_warm_amp_relaxing — rain running down the window

Where is the excitement where is my life when did I loose my identity and just become a wife? Who stole my youth where did my looks go it all happened so quickly I did not see , I did not know.

The rain still drip drops forming tiny rivulets, it blurs the view. I am too tired to worry now, I’ll just make another brew.

woman at window — watching_bokeh_rain__by_Ladislas

Loneliness

http://mashamiah.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/lonely.jpg?w=500&h=500

Day breaks , silence is shattered the birds start to stir waiting on the branches for crumbs to be scattered. Open the blinds put out the light unbolt the door set forth out of the night.

Out of the night towards the sun, life just goes on it does not grind screaming to a halt because you have gone. It is not right it all feels wrong why does the world not mark your passing? I want to scream to make them all see how deep my wound is. Why are you not here, I keep asking.

I keep asking why did you go, my hands reach up to the sky, I miss you so. My tears could fill an ocean blue, my lips still asking why. So another day is here and I have fed the birds, put on my coat of lies. Paint my face, dry my eyes. Check the clock walk the path leave the safety of the hearth. Again I take my place among them, surrounded by so many but I stand alone.

Surrounded by so many but I stand alone. I arrive at work and greet my friends and stay there until I can go home. The phone the screen the printer, coffee cups and a break …. I keep going on this endless road smiling, laughing but it’s all fake.

Smiling, laughing but it’s all fake. Home again and it is late. I stayed out drinking for the emptiness here is what I hate. The weekend is here tomorrow but I shall be busy so busy so I can hide from sorrow.Friends for coffee, family for lunch out in the evening with a great bunch. I cannot stop not even for a minute or I shall see the hole you left ….yes and I am in it.