My wings are clipped my feet are tied.
I need to scream, but I can not cry.
I need to run I need to hide,
Afraid to stay , too tired to fly
Alone under a moon lit sky.
Can I run, can I hide,
Can I beat this pain inside
Will it end, will I be no more
Will I find the key to the locked door.
Broken angel that is me
No longer blessed no longer free.
Shackled so harshly tied down
Lost to all, now bound to the ground.
I originally wrote this in December 2013 but it is still relevant .
I hope it won’t snow this Christmas it’s one of my biggest fears.
It was so bitter last year even thinking of it makes me shudder and shed a tear.
They won’t be eating Turkey with all the trim
Unless they find a charity shelter and they can get in.
The people at the shelters are angels from up above they give their time and plenty love.
They really are saviours they really do so much good.
They give warmth and comfort and Christmas dinner and even Christmas pud.
OH! why are they out here I hear you say
There are lots of reasons, have you got all day? Dave got made redundant the bills he couldn’t pay So the bank stepped in and took his home away.
His wife could not stand the B&B that the social offered them
So she took the children off to live with her mum so Dave won’t see them again.
Jen, she was cheeky girl always having fun
Staying out late and playing up in the end it got too much for her mum!
After a big row one night in the summer she asked Jen to go,
So she is struggling along out here now,when your homeless it is amazing how fast your friends all go.
Rob well his story is very sad,
It all started with his drinking then he discovered drugs he became violent and everything turned bad.
He fell out with his mother’s boyfriend who told him he had to go
And then threw him out into the December snow.
The reasons are legion you can take your pick,
People who loose their jobs because they became sick
From parents who can’t cope
To addictions that make you loose all hope,
Parents or family who beat you, family who will not stop at a touch
They want you to give them way too much.
This may all seem morbid this may all seem too sad
I hate to tell you all, things can be so very, very bad.
People young and old see their hopes and dreams unfold and vanish in clouds of smoke
As they end up on the streets lost and without any hope.
So enjoy your Christmas parties, your families and your Yule tide fare
But as you raise a toast remember the homeless ones out there .
Desperation bites when all is lost
Exhaustion demands the full cost
Sleep evades you, what can you do
Pacing, searching for what is true
Everlasting pain gnawing at your brain
Raw agony holds you back from any gain
Anguish stalks your every move tying you down
To the lowest ebb your soul has ever found
Isolation encircles you like ice it chill you through
Open wounds in your mind, fear leaking, drowning you.
Nothing left, no love , no hope for you .
Shoe laces taken
All she knows shaken
Not a razor or knife in sight
Still the pain sears through the night.
Corridors full of eternal walkers
Going nowhere, watched by stalkers.
Screams erupt so do tussles
Held down by ‘staff ‘ with muscles.
Nothing stops the pain NOTHING
Smile at family don’t let them see the bluffing.
It hurts, it hurts she needs to bleed
A sacrifice to the demon’s seed.
Doors slam locks turn
Fears grow behind doors souls burn
Help me please help me
Blind eyes don’t see…………………….
Shoe laces taken
All she knows shaken
Not a razor or knife in sight
Still the pain sears through the night.
Today I visited a friend in a psychiatric unit : One wall was decorated with the Tree of Hope logo. This is what I saw and felt.
Tree of hope
Is this a joke
Lost souls wandering
Bored staff pondering.
Angry women strutting
Locked door are shutting
Tempers are fraying.
Any point in praying.
One step forward three back .
Covers for the care they lack.
Man shouting he needs his phone
His eyes ask will he find his way home
Tree of hope
Is this a joke
Lost souls wandering
Bored staff pondering.
Quiet places, empty spaces were all she sort
Noise in the city hurt her ears and shattered her thought,
Silence could no longer be bought. A little me time
Was impossible to find. Nowhere without music or a light that shines.
She ran up, up to the roofs. The light grew dimmer
A girl from the ghetto she scaled the walls
The higher she climb the more she was enthralled.
The lights were all tiny just like fairy lights
All looked pretty and sparkly in the night.
Even with her headphones on full silence
There was still no escape !
There was no where else to go
The sound of below hurt her ears so!
As she reached the very top here eyes wide
To the amazing view . “Stop the sound” into the wind she cried!
But it would not . It entered her head via her ears
It filled her whole body and agitated each one of her fears!
The lights sparkled and glimmered in her eyes
She wept and howled at the moon. No one heard as she cried.
Not one soul missed her, no one looked for her the next day
After her soul had given up and she was gone. Given up they’d say.
She had just stepped up to the edge stepped off and flown away.
Silence was the last thing she heard, divine nothingness, thankfully quiet.
Quiet beauty peace at last.
This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill.
Thanks for tuning in and if you want to join, feel free to click on the link and start jotting!
I need to run I need to hide,
My wings are clipped my feet are tied.
I need to scream, but I can not cry.
Afraid to stay , too tired to fly
Alone under a moon lit sky.
Can I run, can I hide,
Can I beat this pain inside
Will it end, will I be no more
Will I find the key to the locked door.
Broken angel that is me
No longer blessed no longer free.
Shackled so harshly tied down
Lost to all now bound to the ground.
Is that right, it can’t be so
I am seeing butterflies in the snow.
Gently round my fingers they go
Enchanting me why, I d not know
Little beauties don’t you know
This is not nature for you to be her in the snow
Yet though it is right that you should go
I want you here because you cheer me so
Here in the winter of my life
You show me that life and time are trite
Please if you can stay with with me for if you leave I shall cry
The only sanity I have left shall die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Low in the sky the winter sun is hung
Relieved now that the year is neigh done.
Starling light blinds the eyes
The last of the remaining birds have domain of the skies.
Morning draped in silver frost with veils of fog
Cold and daunting arrives the dawn
A hoar on path and grass and log
Dark is unwilling to leave, slowly my fears are born.
Bleak and empty the world appears
Such a sad and sorry time of year!
TEAM Mark
Tell me hope what brings you so low
What is this grief that has brought you so.
Why have you forsaken the meaning of your name
Can you not see that brings on you the darkest shame.
I am broken I am lost I am too tired to go on
I carried the the world and its angst for too long.
Once my darling Faith on my left did stand
Upon my right was Charity who held my hand.
But why dear Hope have you given in.
Without you, despair and grief will win.
You cannot forsake this world
No matter the trials that at you are hurled.
I am exhausted I can not go on
Without Faith and Charity it all seems wrong.
I weep for me and I weep for the world
I weep for my wings I can no longer unfurl.
Listen Hope you must not loose Faith or Charity
You belong together, you make a trinity.
I believe that they are both near
You can reach them if you ignore your fear.
I don’t know if I can trust you or if what you say is true .
Can you give me a sign, can you show me what to do.
If Faith and Charity are near
Show me how to bring them here
Here sweet Hope take my hand
Feel who I am , then you will understand.
Put all your belief in me
Accept my love and Faith and Charity.
Please Hope don’t give in keep within the trinity
Find strength in Faith,Hope and Charity.
Every night she crosses the bridge betwix life and death.
Carrying the tormented souls that are of hope bereft.
Her shadow like its owner empty and lost gently follows.
She looks for life and love for she has none, her heart and soul are nothing but hollow.
The moon looks on and gently weeps as she, her lonely vigil keeps.
Misery and desperation are tangible in the air.
Colours she craves colours, rest she craves rest and the warm of another body
She craves colour and warmth and above all sleep, this is her life not her hobby.
Demon hands reach through the slats of the bridge searching for souls, they do not want hers it is long gone!
They scratch at her heels they pull at her ankles they hurt her but worse they hold her back and drag her down so she never sees the sun!
Pour lost soul there is no hope left for her, nightly she stumbles on alone tortured and held by invisible rope.
Pray for her, plead for her as she in torment wails, she is condemned to this for eternity, no chance of escape for her, no hope.
KL CALEY
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