I am Free

I stand on the edge of the abyss. I wander why it has all come down to this.

My heart starts to beat like a drum booming loud in my chest. I breath deep, then scream “calm” I need to rest.

I look down into the deep, pray the Lord my soul to keep. Will anyone miss me, over my grave will they weep.

My heart starts to beat like a drum booming loud in my chest. I breath deep, then scream “calm” I need to rest.

The  wind starts to blow from the north and it’s cold. I shiver and wish I’d bought a shawl. The dark is bring my fears forth. I totter and I nearly fall.

My heart starts to beat like a drum booming loud in my chest. I breath deep, then scream “calm” I need to rest.

I believe I am ready now, I set free all my short falls  raise fist to the moon and avow . That my soul  will survive this somehow. I see light wings escaping from  my skirt they become birds and fly from me unhurt. OH! may this be the way of my soul when my depraved body hits the dirt. My heart starts to beat like a drum booming loud in my chest. I breath deep, then scream “calm” I need to rest.

The  clouds close in on the moon driving the the last of the light off too quickly too soon. I loose contact with the earth thoughts explode in my my head memories of my birth. I am falling the ground rushes up to smash me when I am loosed, I am a bird OH! God I am free.

My heart starts to beat like a drum booming loud in my chest. I breath deep, then scream “calm” at last I have  rest.

No more, no more

That’s just how the cookie crumbles this sad and tiresome night

I watched as you turned and walked away and all my hopes took flight.

You took my dreams and hopes and cruelly dashed then against the wall.

Spitting out my love on the slopes to the castle your ears deaf to my call.

I knew that you were evil , a user and abuser  I knew you unkind .

You hurt me but I was not prepared for what you did to my mind.

If only you had hit me or thrown me to the ground, beaten me up or

tortured me to that a reason I could of found.

 

No not a hand was laid on me  but words so cruel and mean

and the things made me do for you made me feel dirty and unclean.

You call me names and shout at me often telling me how useless I

am. Those words are now scars on me and will never be forgotten.

You would bring women back to our home and make me cook a meal

then you would make me watch while you sired them not caring how

that would make me feel.

You make me rise in the middle of the night to clean and dust until you think it is just right.

I remember being terrified and hiding from you but it was even worse when you found me. I shudder at those thing you made me do for you.

 

I can’t believe how much I love you and I mean that, still, but you don’t give a damn for me and I know you never will.

You treat me like rubbish a rag doll you can discard, in front of guests you’d rip my dress, expose me and tell our guests I was looking  like lard.

I have tried to leave you but you have always dragged me back, and lock me in the cellar you starved me and lecture me on all the graces I lack.

You rubbed my face in all my faults and there was nowhere to hide from you , your voice attacking me echoing around the Vaults.

So tonight when you return with yet another whore I shall not be here to watch you enjoy her flesh , as I shall be be dead and you will not hurt me any more.

Was it something we know that made her go?

Was it the dripping tap that made her snap or the ticking clock that boiled her rock.Maybe again it was the creaking floor that made her roar or the banging door that tipped the score. Could it of been the pinking oven alarm that made her cause harm.Was it the screaming kids that blew her lid or the pneumatic drill that made her ill. It might of been the revving bikes that made her temper take a hike. The demanding pong of the laptop’s mail alert that made her squirt.Was it the nagging of the TV screen that made her scream. Or might it of been the missed bus that made her cuss or the closed shop when she needed it open that blew her top. Maybe again the empty petrol tank, her over stretched heart, sank.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

Was it the stress that caused her mess, maybe the press that made her digress. Or was it just life that caused her strife and made her go and take her life?…………………..WELL WAS IT??


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