Things have not gone as they should of on Morgarna’s latest jump and she has landed in an alternative reality.
For visually challenged writers, the image shows two large swans and 3 smaller swans all swimming together.
Splash! to Morgarna’s dismay she had landed in a lake? No, not again she thought that bloody Merlin is taking the piss! ….. “Hang on!” , she said out loud “I am on my way back not out, not another off the scale jump I am not in the mood” she said through gritted teeth as she waded out of the lake, soaking wet and hopping mad!
A few minutes later she was sitting on the bank drying her feet in the sun , her dress was hanging on a bush. Her temper was short so she dried her cloak and bra and pants by magic..”sod Merlin’s rules he is not here” she announced to a near by family of Swans. Rummaging in her bag she found her cigarettes and lighter and a bottle of Percival’s best Brandy that she had helped herself to whilst in the Library! “Thank goodness this bag is totally waterproof!” She again announced to nobody in particular, she lit her cigarette and had a couple of healthy swigs of Brandy. When she was interrupted by a voice, “Those things will kill you, and that brandy will not solve anything either” it was the male swan, and he was looking straight at her with a stern expression on his face.
Morgarna looked around then back to the swan.”Er, was that you” she asked a tad taken back.
“Indeed it was madam” replied the swan, bending his neck to get better look at her.
“Okay, my name is Morgarna and where I come from most animals don’t talk ….. Even to me” with that she took another slug of brandy.
The swan moved out of the cloud of Morgarna’s smoke and introduced himself.
“Well Morgarna my name is Geoff and where we live, here, humans don’t talk ! “
“Shut up” said Morgarna, “humans don’t talk?…. Well I do”
Geoff suddenly hissed, “That’s no way to speak to me young woman infact I can’t imagine how you are talking at all! “
“Well Geoff all I can say is I am immortal and I am several hundred years old ….so less of the young, Mr Swan !”
Just then there was an horrendous clamouring of voices as a gaggle of Canadian geese arrived! They were all talking at once and it was ear splitting.
Geoff leaned in to Morgarna and whispered in her ear, “I’d keep stum if I were you this lot can be real trouble.”
“Hey Geoff ” it was his wife , the two children and the dog arriving! “What are you doing with that human, for goodness sake I hope you are not feeding it! “
Morgarna opened her mouth but Geoff flashed her a sharp look and she shut it!
“No dear, but I don’t think it is very well it seems very confused. ” “Yes it’s eyes are a little wild and its mouth seems stuck open…. Is it drunk? “
Then Geoff’s wife spotted her friends Jemima and Darlene arriving with the other geese.
Dog was now out of the water and sniffing round Morgarna and pecking at her arms and legs. It was all getting a bit too much for Morgana and eventually Morgarna exploded.
“Geoff get your bloody dog off me! “
There was silence , absolute silence. The geese, the swans and a passing family of Mallards that were swimming by all stopped and looked at her.
Then as one they all spoke. “It spoke, the human spoke!! ” All the beady eyed birds turned and stared at Morgarna. Geoff was looking at Morgarna pleading with her not to say a word.
The Geese were all staring, prodding and poking at Morgarna and making cutsy noises at her, “come one little one say something” “Ah coochy coochy coo” “who is a sweetheart”.
Fit to burst Morgarna gritted her teeth!
Just as she got to the point where her brain was full of expletives she spotted the anomally above a weeping willow opposite.
“Gathering all her stuff up she jumped …all the birds screamed and a few groups of timid humans on the opposite bank watched opened mouthed as Morgarna disappeared into the Anomaly her words trailing behind her… ” Get the F##k out of my face”. She was gone leaving a stunned audience!