Finally Gottcha!

You took my innocence that day

You ripped it from me  and threw it away.

What did that feeling  do for you

Were  you pleased to see broken when you were  through.

 

You  took the words and  beat me until I bled

Threw me naked  from your bed

With actions  harsh you hurled me down

My face you screwed into the ground.

 

You dragged  me screaming  through the town

Before  your friends  you tore off my gown

Exposed my secrets, every hidden nook of me

You raped  me there  for all to see.

 

Left me broken and bleeding  for all to debase

You blew my life apart  left me with egg upon my face.

The pain, the shame was more than I could take

You enjoyed my downfall pushing  hard so I would brake.

 

The years have erased me from your mind.

Yet to me they have not kind.

You do not suspect my tender embrace.

My blade has found it’s target I see that in your face.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lisa  at   Underground Energy  has  suggested I link this  poem to  https://hastywords.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/dark-romance/  so here we go!

EvDaDaDec : 15/12/20 Little Mae and Polar Bear

And so  the dawn  creeps up relieving   the night of her  dark shroud .

The  sky looked as barren and empty  as  the land not  a fleck of cloud!

From out of  nowhere  came  two  visitors so beautiful  were they.

Horses  stallion and mare . They had come  to greet and  from here  to carry  the child  and Mae.

 

Polar Bear was pleased  to meet them, the Winter Queen  knew  them of old.

Mae and  the child  both  mounted  the mare  Mae  cuddled  her brother  against  the cold.

The  Winter  Queen  took to the Stallion who she rode  with pride

Her Polar  Bears unjealous trotted at  her side !

 

So they travelled across the  frozen wasteland

That was once  her home  the child with eyes  wide held tight  to her  hand.

Polar  Bear  walked  silent  behind relieved  to be on the move again

He only had one wish to return  to his  human frame

Poor Polar Bear  was once a man

He  was charged  by  his dying  king  to protect his daughter  the best he can.

The Evil  witch of the East turned him into a Polar Bear

He  very soon fell in  love  with Mae for her  he really cared.

He  spent  two years  protecting Mae before he realized his love was all for her.

 

 

EvDaDaDec : 13/12/2 Little Mae and Polar Bear

The child  suddenly  felt  the warmth of  love , it covered  him like the snow falling  from above.

He watched Mae  his  sister sleep , he  felt safe  enough to with Mae  and Polar  bear  keep.

He  heard  the Winter Queen’s bears gently  growling . He  felt love sing to him  through the winters  howling.

Comfy  nestled in Polar’s  fur  he felt  safe and without a care

Gently of a sudden  Mae  awoke  she smiled  and to the  lost child  spoke.

 

What is it little one ,you must know  what has  gone on.

Did  the Witch , you mother tell you what she had  done.

Did  she own to the killings  before  she up and fled and was gone.

You  have lost  your  father too,  do not fear I shall take care  of you.

 

Come  and  cuddle  me  and I shall sing  you a lullaby

Let us  be  happy together  no need for fear  no  need to cry.

And  so as all the others  slept Mae  sang  to her  little brother

The  two now bound in  great  sorrow  now  vowed  to help each other.

 

 

Until the morning we leave them  to sleep.

 

EvDaDaDec: Little Mae and Polar Bear

The  child  too was  sleeping , dreaming of happier  days

Remembering his  mother,  the witch, and the happy games  they’d play.

His  father looking on  with love sparkling in his eyes

He felt  safe  and happy in his mothers  arms protected by his father, wise.

Sad feeling started  creeping in , fear washing  over his skin

His  mother and father were rowing  from his cot  he could hear the din.

She  screamed I did I banished your  daughters I killed  your  wife

I wanted  your love and  now I want  your life.

His father’s voice rose to a scream you killed  my wife the mother of my girls

Yes  she replied I wanted  you and  your power ,as her head turned her hair unfurled

There followed  a mighty fight the like of  which the palace  had  never seen

At once  all stood  still as the king died  all went grey, all colour devoid no blue  no green .

The palace gone the land devastated all gone . The Witch of  the East fled

The  child was left to wander  the no mans land . His mother gone and left him for dead.

The  child  awakes  with  a start  to find he feels  safe and cosy nestling  in Polar Bear’s  fur.

Looking  across he  see Mae  sleeping in the snow , he realizes  she is his sister  and reaches out to her

EvDaDaDec :9 Little Mae and Polar Bear.

On through  the snow  they forged mile after  mile

Mae was distanced  eyes gleaming  mouth soft  in a smile.

Her  mind  drifted  back to the days before  she she and Polar  bear had to run,

Happy days  with her father  and her sister happy days full of  fun.

 

They had suffered so when mother died ,

Heart  broken they had  all cried.

Mae  has no idea  where  her sister  is

Whether  she is  dead or if  she lives.

 

All the while the child  sleeps

Polar Bear takes care of him , in  safety  keeps.

Travelling on they go

Through  the cold , the dark and the snow.

 

So for  now  lets  let Mae  sleep.

All her  dreams  and hopes inside  to keep.

Sleeping also in the land  of dreams  her little brother bound  to Mae  it seems.

 

Polar Bear is So  Good and kind  thoughts  of  Mae  fill his head .

The child  has  invaded  Polar Bear’s  mind , He now loves  the child  and forever he will treat him kind!

 

AND  SO WE LEAVE THEM ALL TO SLEEP  WE PRAY THE LORD THEIR SOULS TO KEEP.

EvDaDaDec : Little Mae and Polar Bear

The  little child  wwas  frightened  the little child was cold He only trusted Polar Bear , he clung to him with a hold

So strong  that no one, no even Mae  could break

So tired he slept on Polar’s neck, he could not stay awake.

 

The Winter Queen was curious she felt  she knew  the child

But  he would not let her near him, he screamed and just went wild.

Mae was most concerned she she could not understand why

The child trusted none of them,why it would only cry.

 

But they could  not stay there for too long

They had a quest to fulfil  they had to travel on.

There was nothing but desolation nothing growing for miles around,

No animals no flowers or crops and not even a single sound!!

 

Mae was so sad at the desolation that she saw

This was not her father’s  land , well not as it was before.

Silently  and slowly  the snow began to fall

It covered the dead landscape  and in white it shrouded our travellers all.

 

At length the child ceased crying  and fell asleep

The Winter Queen up to the child crept to have a peep.

I Know this child Mae  I am sure he is your half brother

Your father  sired him  when he and the evil witch  were lovers.

 

Polar Bear at once unsure if his  burden should  be shed

But Mae stroked his neck  and said no  my love  we cannot leave him for dead.

Polar Bear  look hard and long into Mae beautiful and kind eyes

He let the child snuggle further in  and said  I trust you Mae  for you are wise.

 

 

AND SO THEY JOURNEYED ONWARDS.

 

 

EvDaDaDec: Little Mae and Polar Bear

Mae  and Polar Bear , weary from their travels, could not believe  the sight

Together  with the Winter Queen  they had trudged on both day and night .

Where  were all the people  where are all the homes , the farms, the towns  and cities? Vanished, vanished  gone!

Tears  filled their eyes  they could not take any of this in… where was homeland …..this was  all wrong!

Mae’s  eyes burned but she refused  to cry ! Tell  me noble  Queen  how can I avenge this  wrong

Winter’s Queen , ice tears  frozen  on her cheeks turned  to Mae and said  we shall right this all bad shall we see gone.

Mount up mount  up cried  the Winter Queen  we must  find  the the wicked  witch of the East

Find  her lair, burn her, tear  her limb  from limb . She shall be stopped her face removed  , on her bones we shall feast.

They  met a child along the way,

Cold and frightened , mama mama was all he’d say.

Mae took the child and wrapped him in her cloak

Warmed the child, bodily, spiritually no words were spoke

Where are  your parents  little one

Mama gone , mama gone……………..

Hush  now child  you are safe  with us now  you will ride

She lifted  the child up onto Polar Bears  back, silently  she walked by his side.

Who could hurt the little child

Left  alone  and deserted  in the wild.

Frozen body frozen mind

This evil witch , was she this unkind

 

 

MAE  AND POLAR BEAR  STILL HAVE FAR TO GO. 

EvDaDaDec : Mae and Polar Bear

Little  Mae,once fairy.  Now  grown  back  to the beautiful  woman  she was, strode  forth  with Polar  Bear

They  were  ready  now to face  the witch of  the East . To avenge  all wrongs  ( so wicked  witch beware)

How long  they had been away Mae really could  not tell, she had  some how escaped the witches  evil spell.

Her  loyal servant  and protector Polar Bear had  never left her  side , he  had guided her and loved her , he kept her safe  and well.

 

The  Winter Queen  had warned  them  that they  were embarking on a war

The  danger they were now facing  was one hundred times  more evil than they had ever faced before.

She  promised them that she would help  as the witch of the East had  dealt her some evil blows

She  hated the East witch  for deeds that had been dealt , The Queen wanted to witness the witch in her death throws.

7a4e131921948e7cc73d8b0094fc2a35-d3ea1rk.jpg

7a4e131921948e7cc73d8b0094fc2a35-d3ea1rk.jpg

 

Mae so dark and  the Queen  so pale,  mirrors, almost of each other

Both with Polar Bears set forth to revenge their loss, one  a father, the other her beloved lover.

So  now  we see them  setting off on a  quest of great danger  both bonded by lost love

Both determined to win, both  wanting to right the wrongs from the East to smite the witch from above!

 

AND SO THE TALE MOVES ON.

Musical Theme : Emotions

Ellie Goulding Explosions : This  video depicts exactly  the feeling  you get  when you  get

to the end of your tether. So much  coming at you , everything you have ever feared or dreaded!

Then  pow you are  set right off , an explosion in your head!

Eyesore, Maria Mena  self loathing: Anorexia, Bulimia all brought on  by bad experiences  as a child.

Not feeling  good about yourself. Not  good enough,   no one  must  see you you must stay thin.

Fear of food, fear of body image.

The Mirror Lies

Another poem by me.

Look in the mirror what do you see,

I see a skeleton pleading to me.

You do not see the same, you see rivers of fat .

If you let this go on you will be dead and that’s that

How did this happen how did this come to pass.

Why do you feel no one loves you, if you would only ask.

Was it a neurotic mother who showed the way

counting calories and eating less day after day.

She treated you as she did herself, it is no wonder now

that you have developed this curse.

Was it the adverts you saw every day

with lithe young girls posing in magazines and posters and on TV you saw while you were at play.

What drives a child younger than ten to vow

to herself she will not eat again. 

Did the children in the school yard taunt you and say

“little miss piggy just go away ”

They did not mean to hurt they did not know

that those words would cripple you so.

I say they the were innocent but that might not be true

for children can be so unkind and don’t care about the damage they do.

Was it that careless joking aside from your lover or best friend

that hit you so hard that your mind started to bend.

It changed the image the mirror showed to you

and you watch as the fat piled on , but only in your eyes was it true.

Now it is nearly too late the pleads and entreaties for you to put on some weight.

Just simply fall on deaf ears

and as you slip away  your gums bleed, full filling our worst fears

Was it your boss who shattered your confidence by making a careless remark 

about eating too many cakes that caused you to a  binge and vomit then on this  course to embark.

Sadly it is all or nothing for you,

sadly my love it will be the death of you too.

It may seem like a mountain to climb but please take my 

hand and except my love, your running out of time.

Mothers and fathers what ever you do

make sure your children know you love them and make time to spend with them too.

Teachers  and government  make sure that healthy diets are taught

and evil nasty bullies are dealt with as soon as they are caught.

We need our children and our young people too

we must guide them and love them as they need to see we are true.

We will never stop the adverts  on TV, posters and press

but we can talk to our children and tell them these models are just there to impress.

The rich cats are just out to make money

they don’t  give a damn about the models or you honey.!

So I reach out my hand and offer some hope

every one is beautiful in their own way just remember you are loved and we can help you to cope.

Beauty is skin deep what is inside is what is key

the soul and heart dictate what you should be.

You cannot chase the perfect body all of your life you

will have to give up so much as you will not have time to live life.

 

Imogen Heap.  Say  Goodnight and go. Obsession / unrequited love . The young  girl is besotted

by the  boy  who only see her  as a work colleague. She  follows him  watches him and dreams!

Regina Spektor Fear of Cancer : Fear! the not me  I am not that type , if I close my eyes it is not happening to me. A mother has to face up  to the fact that she is ill………. tough emotions

Prima Donna Girl,  Marina and the diamonds: Need greed  and more insecurity! Pity even.

Beautiful South Take a little time anger : All the horrible  feelings  that  are brought on  by

marital discord! So many emotions.

Imogen Heap who’s getting scared now, revenge hate Oh! the chance to face up to those who bullied  you at  school and  made your life so  bad the chance to show them you have blossomed and grown!!

It’s nothing less than abuse

Rounded shoulders head hung down
why do they all make fun of me I am not a clown.
Sitting in the row spiteful girls stick their pens in my legs.
Teacher at the front she must never know, she wouldn’t help she treats me like dregs.

Following me nearly home, calling me mean names,

in the playground I always stand alone they don’t pick me for their games.

Opening my desk finding it’s been trashed ,

my text book been drawn in and my favourite doll has been  smashed.

Mum tried her hardest but being the youngest of six

my things did not get replaced they just got fixed.

My plimsolls were the wrong colour they were black instead of white ,

I was hauled up on the stage, lectured in front of the school then had to stay on late that night.

I just could not make it I could not win with staff and girls against me all I could do was just give in.

I met my boyfriend, and his friends did not like me because I spoke differently,

I was from the posh school.  They though I was rich, I was not I was just like them it would of made no

difference if I’d let them know.

When we  were out or at a party they were pleasant to my face

but if my guy was not there and behind my back the things they said were just a disgrace.

They joined the line of teachers and my piers

it makes me wonder now how I stood it for all those years.

I am not saying I had no friends, no that would not be true.

I did have friends and they were good   but they were the very few.

I always felt so ugly, too fat and too short

and if anyone was nice to me I could not believe it. What do they want was my first thought.

Things got better when I started work I seemed to come out of my shell

like a little butterfly I changed and put aside my days of living hell.

They tell you, you don’t  realize that school days are the best days of your life ,

thank God I never listened or I would of ended mine with a knife.

Thank God I grew away from all the pain

but sometimes I see a face  hear a voice or a name and it all floods back again.

I am older now and have all that I could ask for, family and friends but sometimes

my calm deserts me and confidence takes flight,

fear and dark descends and I feel lost in the night.

I ask the question now why children’s jibes and actions  can be so mean and cruel.

The worse days of my life were my years at school.

I cry each time I read or hear on the news how children can hurt each other IT NOTHING LESS THAN ABUSE

(My poem on bullying written from personal  memories. )  https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/its-nothing-less-than-abuse-2/

Alanis  Moristte : Thank you : You  might  say gratitude,  well yes  gratitude is there  but also is irony but so is depression, fear and paranoia.

I Am Stretched on Your Grave lyrics (Kate Rusby).  Grief, love  and desperation the loss of  a lover  husband, son   what can I say . Grief.

Sinade O’Conner My Three Babies. : Mother love, pure and simple asking  nothing and giving all unconditional.

Mother Love (Acrostic)

Mother love is selfless and deeper than the 

Ocean, boundless and undemanding  always 

There when you need it. No judgement or side taken

However far or expensive to pocket or heart. Love is  

Everlasting, open handed  and without question.

Ready always to be sweep in and  scoop you up and love you.

Loyal and true always at the end of a phone

Open minded to your problems never judging or

Vengeful unless called to be on your behalf

Even though you may not deserve it , it’s there Mother Love.

Written  by me.

 

 

Also entries on this theme can be found at

Eva       http://47whitebuffalo.wordpress.com/2013/11/09/emotions-or-no-numb-here-musical-theme/

Johnny   http://johnnyojanpera.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/corvidea-music-theme-for-november-4/

Deborah http://myriad234.wordpress.com/2013/11/04/new-music-theme-for-nov-4-co

NaBloPoMo : Madly Hurt !

Damn those happy faces

They should be banned from public places!

I am  here on my own  and the bleeding disgrace is

I can read the pity in their faces .

 

They  smile and off me some drinks

Their eyes belie their lips. This is obvious what they think!

‘You’d better watch  your man

She is single and on the prowl she’ll seduce him if she can.’

 

“Woow! that dress looks great, so glad you made the party”

Translation : “I never thought she’d come OMG that dress looks tarty!”

You spot him and she’s draped across his arm, the finale slap in your face

Damn I have to stay, I refuse to show myself up by leaving now with indecent haste.

 

I know they are all laughing at me

They think I do not see.

I’ll  show  them, where did I put those matches

I am walking in the cold dark night, I hope my surprise fire catches.

Damn those happy faces

They should be banned from public places!

I am  here on my own  and the bleeding disgrace is

I can read the pity in their faces .

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