It Hurts

Friday I wrote about the pessures put on people by the media and society to follow their ridiculous demands by showing us the body beautiful. Resulting in Anorexia and Bulimia. 

Even children as young as 5yrs are worrying about weight and looks . It’s not only women and girls effected boys and men are  too. 

Today I am writing about mental health, be it eating disorders, self harm, depression, anxioty …all of the above. 

This poem talks of the “system” phyciatric care or maybe the lack of it. I witnessed some of this first handwhile helping a friend who’s daughter has phyciatric problems. The daughter also once spent a night in a police cell, the discription is almost interchangable.

I have also had the same experience nearly thirty years ago looking after a close family member (male) going through a “nervous breakdown” nothing much seems to have changed, the surroundings, the staff most of who do, do their best, the lack of information and support, the locked doors ( I know they need to be) 

Well here is another reworked poem I do hope it can open an eye or two and hopefully let others know they are not alone.

                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      It Hurts.

Shoe laces taken

All you know, shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

Corridors full of  eternal walkers

Going  nowhere, watched  by  stalkers.

Screams  erupt  so do  tussles

Held down by  ‘staff ‘ with muscles.

 

Nothing  stops  the pain  NOTHING

Smile  at  family  don’t  let  them see  the  bluffing.

It hurts, it  hurts  you  needs  to  bleed

A sacrifice  to the demon’s  seed.

 

Doors  slam locks  turn

Fears  grow behind  doors  souls burn

Help me  please help me

Blind eyes don’t see…………………….

 

Shoe laces taken

All you know,  shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

https://youtu.be/ouddJKXcVWY

 

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Hanging on by a broken thread.

I am loosing  my  tenuous  grip  on life

My place   in  the  scheme is  slipping  away

Am I  needed, as  mother , lover or  wife.

Slipping  further  in to  darkness  every  day.

 

The words more  bitter  and  harder  to  take

Loosing  those  I love , the  ties  cut as they leave

It hurts  as I feel   my  heart shatter  and  brake

Don’t  want  to pretend anymore  it is  too hard  to fake.

 

So I  bury  my  head  in  music and  try  to  ignore  the pain

Just  Hanging on  by  a broken thread.

 

 

Song Lyric Sunday: Pain. Meantime Imogen Heap.

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Helen Espinosa  of  This  Life  one  step  at a time  has  set  us  the  task  of  fining  a  song  about  Pain  for  our Song Lyric  Sunday.

Part of the lyrics of Meantime by Imogen Heap and Guy Sigsworth.

The purity in dreaming,
the meantime is a quarentine,
suppose there is no difference 
and phone sex is eternal love

the promise in our yearning 
the meantime is a quarentine 
and the body parts can mix
when you fail to make her hard 

and you’ll never find out if this ones love
once you’ve dried out a river 
And you’ll never found out if this one’s love
So take my heart in the mean time

This to me this is one of the saddest of songs. A young Imogen Heap  with  Guy Sigsworth wrote about the pain of pretend love, love for sale that  is  experienced  by  young  and  old  in  the  quest  for  that  one  true  love . The cheapness and depressing aspect to sex that  often  rears it’s  head  before  love  arrives. Let’s face it sex is not love but both love and sex can cause a lot of pain. Love is  a  killer, it is unkind  it  enjoys  your  pain. We  are  all if  we  are  honest yearning  for  the  one  love  until  we  find it. Some  never  find  it and  often  those  who  do  do  not  take  care of  it and  crush  it  carelessly  like  a butterfly.

So  the  question  is  in  the  last  verse  of  the  song.

Will the next love be the real one
Will the next love be the real one

Rules  and  Pingback here 

Why.

Why can it not be taken back

Erased lost removed,back tracked.

Why is it hanging still above my head

Stripping my soul, left unloved unfed.


Why can’t things be unwritten,unsaid

Screaming & kicking inside my head.

Too late it can’t be fixed

Too much pain thrown in the mix.

Song Lyric Sunday. To those I miss.

The lovely Helen Espinosa who has been missing her daughter this week has set us our Song Lyric Sunday . : ‘Post a song about missing someone you love.  Let’s let them know how much we miss them and can’t wait to see them again.’

Rules and Pingback here 

Andhere

This  is  just  so  hard  for  me  right  now  as  I am missing  so  many people  in my  life. Sadly  things  are  just  getting  worse  and  worse  , every  time  I  think  there is  a light  at  the  end  of  the  tunnel it  turns out  to be  the  the  express  train  heading  right  at  me.

So  what  to  do, the pain is  excruciating  and  things  are  just  tearing  my  family  apart  and  all I can do is  watch. I live in  fear  of  the next  blow up  …one is  actually  imminent.

What  to  choose I  do not  know?

Well the  way I  feel  now  it  is  harder  for  me  to  cope  with   my  son  and  his  family  removing  themselves  from  my  life , the loss of  my sister and my  best  friend  being  on  the other  side of  the  country !

Did I  say  a blow up  was imminent   well it  just  happened  again! I just feel  so low  and physically  sick.

This  is  too painful  to  write  so I shall let  Sia  say it  all for  me.

Eye of the Needle
Take me down
I’m feeling now
And if I move on
I admit you’re gone
And I ain’t ready
And I’ll hold steady
Yeah I’ll hold you in my arms
In my arms, in my arms
Whoa
And you’re locked inside my heart
And your melody’s an art
And I won’t let the terror in, I’m stealing time
Through the eye of the needle
Step and repeat
Whoa
Tears fall to the beat
Smile through the pain
Feel the acid rain
And I ain’t ready
But I’ll hold steady
Yeah I’ll hold you in my arms
In my arms, in my arms
Whoa
And you’re locked inside my heart
Whoa
And your melody’s an art
Whoa
And I won’t let the terror in, I’m stealing time
Through the eye of the needle
My bags heavy
Been filled by me
They weigh me down
Carry them ’round
It’s all mine all mine
I am blinded by the eye of the needle

 

Nonet.EXASPIRATION.

image

Exaspiration

Slapped down , guilty without a trial
Not one good deed gone unpunished
Shouted at made to feel vile
Accused of betrayal
Shut out and banished
I sadly fail
To explain
How I
Feel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Image found here

Zip it up

Zip it shut sew it up tight
Stop the babble of words
Nothing of use, nothing right
An outpouring of wingless birds.

Get me a plate I shall eat them all
Please let me take them back
Every last one chokes,big and small.
I will shallow them all, I will retract.

I never wanted to cause any pain
Believe me I meant no harm
Words I had heard again and again.
Lost now in this storm with no calm.

Words are weapons that wound and kill
My ears burn from what has been said
My throat torn out, now my voice is still.
Words lie bleeding words lie dead.

It is all too late there is no way back
Too many silences too much pain
One word needed but of it there a lack
Sorry, sorry this is insane.

Zip it shut sew it up tight
Stop the babble of words
Nothing of use, nothing right
A sad outpouring of wingless birds!

Stream of Consciousness Saturday . Loss. A Nonet.

image

It hurts like a razor cutting deep
Through my broken heart and lost soul.
So loved boy not mine to keep
Pain devowers  me whole.
Those words said in haste
Will forever
My love waste
I hate
It.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LindaGHill said : ‘Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: Start your post with a two-letter word. End it with a two-letter word for bonus points. Have fun!’

Rules and Pingback here

image

Controlled

Locked  in, no escape, I can hardly  breath  the hold is  so  tight

Which  is  worse, hard  to  tell,  the  stifling days  or  sleepless  nights.

Every move I  make  is blocked, walls built  so high  I cannot  scale.

I try  to  brake  the  chains   but  they  are  too strong  I  fail.

Sad, Haiku

Day breaks full of light
Opposing fractions fight
Dark falls pain takes flight

image

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