Colleen’s 2019 Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge No. 122

As Colleen says: “Valentine’s Day isn’t far off. This is your opportunity to write all that love poetry you’ve been saving. Go ahead… May the muse be with you. ❤

It’s the first challenge of the month which means poets get to choose their own words.

I have chosen my favourite of the moment the Etheree. The words I have chosen are Unrequited and Obsession.

Bring me his heart.

Bring

Me his

Heart I said

I long for him

He does not know l

Even exist, heart pounding

Just for him, blindly I asked

For his heart which you have bought me

Foolish words have caused me to lose him

I’ve unwittingly lost all I desire.

Dark Shadow

You enfold me in shadow sucking out the soul of me.

I strive to excel in your eyes, to let my spirit free.

You see no good where I stand.Only what hate  shows you.

You laugh at my efforts and criticize all I do.

 

Tell me I am obsessed and addicted  shout and bluster all you wish.

I have seen and heard  it all before, it is as predicted.

The tatters of my life like the rags clothing an old doll.

My soul has words yearning to be heard to make me whole.

 

That is why I write so these words can be free as a bird.

Why do you need to put me down,

Cast those looks at me and frown.

I spend no more time on my writing

Then you do when you are out doing your own thing.

 

My words need escape they need to sing.

You can scorn and chide me all you will,

Sap my strength exhaust me make me ill.

I shall write and I shall grow.

 

That which is inside me, is what I need to show.

Every time I have found an interest you find ways to set the blight in.

Too many times I have just given in

But no, not this time. I shall, endeavour to ignore your snipes

I shall use this gift and I shall earn my stripes.

 

But this means so much to me now I can’t let you win.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is an old poem  from  November 2011 slightly  reworked. 

Reality or Fallacy ?

Reality, reality….. Is it the truth or is it just a fallacy

Is this all fact that I witness or is it just what you want me to see ?

Am I living and breathing  and why to quail at your threat of leaving.

Do you pull all the strings  is it you  that gives my heart wings

Am I no longer free do you twist my heart then laugh with glee?

 

Like a moth drawn to a flame I long for and need your pain

Tied up and screwed, thirst awoken by what of you I have imbued .

Trapped now my luck flipped, no hope  my wings clipped

You hold the key, body and soul you own me

Too late to reverse. Your love? Is it a blessing or a curse?

 

 

The Addict

You love them so, this they know, but how to respect that is something they don’t know.

There will always be the need for extra  money,

the excuse is always good somehow their requests are coated with honey.

They will sell their clothes and their belongings and if they can they will sell yours.

They have no conscience, until maybe after the act when it is too late  and they have time to think and pause.

Always they need , always they want . You will never sate their thirst.

The  need for the needle, the bottle or the gamble is ever present and that will always come first.

Hide your purse, hide the cash, hide the car keys or you will loose them.

Then when that happens  they will cover up and lie and swear on your life.

After the lies comes remorse.

The food can go from the cupboards, presents and toys too,

furniture, clothes nothing is sacred they have no choice the demon in them drives them to.

They loose care and love for family and friends.  They will take from anyone,

anything  they will break your heart and it never ends.

Is there hope, well there is some, but so much hard work must be done.

Recovery is hard so very hard, even when they are counting the days, weeks or years

you never can relax you are never out of the woods.

The thought of the demons’ return is ever here, an ever present fear..

You love them so, you help, you sort them out time and time again.

They will bleed your bank dry and bleed your heart  dry they will cause you so much pain.

With any request for money the fear is always there,

do they need it for what they say or are they off the rails again….. OH! if only I did not care.

Retaliation

I bared my soul today I cracked open my chest and offered you my bleeding heart. I crawled across broken class and laid myself bare to you and you just laughed…………

I begged, I pleaded, I appealed to your kinder side, you slapped my face called in your friends so I had nowhere to hide.

You put me on the rack of your contempt and dribbled acid like bile. To hurt me deeply you were hell bent.

You exposed everyone of my deepest darkest secrets all the thoughts I entrusted to you and you alone. You tied me down and stripped my skin down to the bone.

You exposed every nerve every muscle you ripped me limb from limb and tossed me to the wolves.

I am sorry I couldn’t stand it any more something cracked when you called me a filthy whore. All the things you had done all the names and games you called me in fun. I am finished now I am stronger than you I am ready to admit to and pay for what I have done.

Twist of Fate

It would be a cruel twist of fate if I met you again at heaven’s gate. We were so close, so in love I thought you were an angel sent from heaven above. Then one day I awoke to fine you gone no note nor message to tell me what I had done wrong. The pain you left me in was just too great it laid me low worrying about your fate.

I lost my way I lost my mind the way you disappeared was just so unkind. I asked for help I begged for solace but it was denied me.I needed your arms I needed to to see your face! It felt like I had fallen so far from grace and I had landed in an unholy place!

How cruel would be the twist of fate should I meet you at heaven’s gate. How long have I to suffer and wait. I searched for you. I rang around I begged your friends but you had gone to ground. They have all ignored me, shut me out they slammed their doors, left me weeping in the street then anger forced me to scream and shout!

Where are you , where have you gone? Damn you it is not my fault I’ve done nothing wrong. I trawled the streets I scraped the bars I rode the trains and searched the cars.But you were no ware.   I didn’t wash, or comb my hair.I searched high and I searched low but where you were I did not know.

photo credit google image

I can’t go on I can’t survive without your love I do not want to be alive. I have had enough it is now to late ……………Now it would be a cruel twist of fate if I met you again at heaven’s gate. For because of what I have now done they will not let me in for I have committed a mortal sin!

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the beast the press would have a feast if they caught a wiff  if they knew the truth !

She had met him at a party which was fancy dress she was wearing a 17th century ball gown  and he was certainly dressed to impress.She nearly passed him in the gloom but he leaped up and whisked her from the room.

At first she unsure and frightened of this man but he with flowery words and actions gallant soon began to her assure!

Lavishly he courted her, he wined and dined her. Loving, was he with her and she began to warm to him forget her troubles, he did not remind her.

So caring and aware of her needs was he that she did not notice the tiny rules he asked of her, slowly stopping her from being free.

When she asked if they could have friends to visit he seemed hurt that his company was not enough, insulted that she needed distractions extra to his love.

She wanted to go shopping, he brought the shops to her. She told him she wanted to walk in the sun and breathe in some fresh air. Again he got indignant why go without him she saw an angry flash in his eyes ….. she told  herself of  mind it was a figment .

Weeks turned into months and she found that if she mentioned no friends or family all was fine. He was loving and caring, protective of her at all times toasting their love each evening as they dined.

Since that night when he had scared her with an angry flash a show of violence held back . She knew, she really knew if that anger was unleashed her world with him would disappear in a flash.

Every third Thursday of the month he disappeared until the Saturday morning. She never knew exactly when he’d leave and his return was quiet giving her no warning.

There is no harm, no one would suffer she could escape a while and enjoy company of her friend and even go out for supper. She waited until she knew that he had gone  lest he returned unexpectedly.

The sun was so bright and she looked so pale as she passed people they turned to stare, she left a trail. Smiling she realized she was still dressed in a 17th century garb. She went straight to her flat and changed  put on some make up so she looked less macabre.

She met her friends they were delighted to see her but when she told them of her life their eyes all showed fear! Why will he not let you invite us round why did he take your phone why does he not let you out so you can visit home? She had no answer to their questions he loves me so was all she could reply.

Friday night she came home carefully hiding her clothes outside his gates. Now next time she left she would change after she had left his estate. That evening after dinner she asked him where he’d been he grew angry and displayed anger the like she’d never seen.

The next morning as she woke her room was full of flowers, her whole body hurt she was scratched and bruise and he thought he could fix it all with flowers? Gently he entered her room and helped  her out of bed he wept in her lap as she stroked his head. He begged her to forgive him this would never happen again she smile at him ….. they made love and she pretended as she winced with the pain.

It took weeks for her to recover and he showed much remorse  but still he insisted they were to live a solitary life. Sadly as her body healed her soul and mind began to wither she had no friends no family to share the ups and downs with her. One afternoon sitting in the garden she asked if she go and visit home he turned and snarled at her PARDON!

After that all was just a blur the table and the chairs where upturned and anything to hand and his fists started pounding into her.He left her there weeping his servants carried her to her room and gently tended her wounds and stemmed the bleeding. She could not believe how he had turned , turned for nothing at all. She felt a light go out in her mind and all her spirits fall.

Laying in her room for days she decided she had to leave. She knew it would be the end of him but for that she could not grieve. She told herself, you can’t live with a tyrant  who reasons with his fists and boot soles and the words he used had ripped her apart and left her  in holes!

It took time for her to recover and to devise a plan the gardener said he’d help her he was a genuine man.She waited till he took his usual trip on a Thursday night she took what she needed. Out of the house that night she fled to full fill the plan she had seeded. She made her way to her friends house, the friends she should of heeded.

She had laid her plans well and her apartment was easy to sell. Feeling so unsafe she  stayed with her friend recovering slowly from her strange life she stayed waiting for her wounds to mend.

Her job was gone she’d been away too long, that was no surprise .She spent hours gazing through the window watching normal life she felt her spirits rise. He came to visit more than once imploring her to return but she refused to see him all his advances she spurned.

He rang and charmed , he rang and threatened her friend had her number changed . He painted ‘whore’ across her friend’s car and posted threats through the door he kept up a barrage of abuse he truly was deranged! Finally  she had to leave all this harassment was more than she wanted her friend to receive.

The next few years she moved and moved, again lost contact with family and friends. Each time she settled into a new job and found a place to stay he would find her and be a nuisance night and day.She told the police but they never were much help, true they always listened but he had never touched or harmed her, that element  to which they would react was missing!

She rued the night of that party she rued the night she met him she had lost her life. Her friends all gone her career in the bin. One evening while driving home she saw  thought him, in the shadows of car park. Sitting in her locked car she waited his approach, at length she saw him advancing in  the back of the car his eyes glinting in the dark.

Like a huge cat he came in to her rear view mirror. Her heart was pounding every pore on her body was sweating, Fear was a tangible smell in the car but she kept her mind clear she measured how close he was getting.

He had nearly reached the car her foot covered the accelerator one more step, he touched the car. That was it she threw the car into reverse and drove as fast as she could into the wall behind her. She watched as the look of anger turned to horror then to pain just to be sure drove forward and reversed in to the wall again and again and a again.

A crowed gathered round the car someone dialled 999.  The police and the paramedics both arrived at the same time. The witnesses all said that she had deliberately killed the man they had seen it with their own eyes.

As they took her away she heard the paramedics pronounce him dead ‘at last’ she whispered to herself he will not follow me from this day.They charged her, and at the trial she used  his stalking as her defence but it did not go well and she went to jail to her it made no sense.

photo credits http://vi.sualize.us/

Slowly friends and family came back this truly lifted her spirits they arranged an appeal and won, she was move to a psychiatric unit. It took years to repair the damage in fact she is recovering still but thankful to have her friends and family back. The thought of him haunts her still. It was not his death, though that was an ugly thought, no it was the chance meeting that had let him into her life and all the grief he’d wrought! …………………

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope never give up hope. If you give up hope you may as well give up living.

 

The Angel catcher.

draft_lens2291003module12615097photo_12

The angel came to threaten me but was not prepared for the sight of me. I was ready and waiting for him. I have had to deal with many of his kin.

I was waiting on the shore to meet him as I have many before. They arrive with lighting flash expecting they will turn me to ash. With their wings unfurled and their swords help high they lose their purpose when they meet my eye.

They all surrender unto me they beg their Lord to set them free. They all submit to me they can’t resist they need to drink of me.

Here I am on the shore with piles of fallen angels’ wings galore. The angry lights in the sky is Him furious with his troops who can no longer fly.

My conquests

So they may come and come again I shall conquer all. I fear not their fiery swords may they come in ones or come in hoards!

They only need to meet my eye for them to lose the will to fly. So I collect their wings and they learn the joys of other things.

So here am I upon the shore thinking not of the day when they will come no more.For now I rest on feathered bed with my fallen angels at my feet and head.

I am yours to take

See me now, here I stand. I am the vision of life at your command. I am the stuff of your night I am your passion and your fight as your soul takes flight. I am the beauty that you need, green of eye and sweet breasts from which you feed.

Red of hair, red lips so lush mine is the body that in your dreams you  crush. I am beauty I am bold I am the body you long to behold. I can take you up higher than the clouds I can take you away from the crowds.

I come to you while you sleep I am the one you long to keep. You take of me every night you drink of me all my parts every inch of me you devour I arouse you through your sleeping hours.

When you awake you are alone. I can hear you gasp I hear you groan. If you only give your all to me I can set you free. Open up your soul to me I shall take it , take it all I shall suck it dry then into the the night I shall bear you high. Yes give of your soul to me I shall never set you free, but every nerve in you will burn, ecstasy will bring you an eternal high  I shall ride you, suck you dry.

sleep on

The Conman

Here is one of my earlier poems , a little story about a bad sad relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Give me your hand he said , smiling at me. He told me I was the world to him and my eyes were all he needed to see. His gentle caresses I accepted and returned freely, willingly,  joyfully alive at last, not being spurned.

So alone

Come with me, he pleaded  and gave me that smile , how could I refuse him I wandered as we travelled all those miles. He needed some money , he was reluctant to say. I had worked hard and had spare so what the hey. The things he would do in the dark of the night would loosen my purse strings and make my sense take flight.

He needed a suit and a new car, you need to look the part these days if your going to go far. I gladly offered, no, he never asked, but he avoided me when he was worried and I could not bare that to last. Our place, small and cosy was not quite right so I took another job and we rented a new place shiny and bright.

My friends he discouraged, well they were not quite the right type. He asked me not to ring them and sometime soon after he disabled the Skype. He disliked my family they were selfish and rude I did not argue it would of put him in a mood.

It seemed I was working  long and hard to make lots of money for his credit card. I had to leave early and eat dinner alone he hardly was there and never answered his phone. Each time I reached for him he turned his back I longed for his smile and cried for the caresses I now lacked.

I saw him and he could not lie

The look in his eyes when I saw him that day with his scantily dressed, teen aged P.A  though I tried to look away I could not help see, one hand on her breast and the other above her knee. The scorn in his look was more than I could take as it all fell into place and I realised he was a fake.

When I got home I slowly took stock  and I saw all the signs my stupid love of this man had blocked. I took my bag and I started to pack  tears of grief  flowed  from my eyes as I saw all his faults and all of his lies.All those nights he was whispering sexy delights  it was my bank balance and not my body he had in his sights.

He had stripped my bank account and all of my pride, now I felt naked and dirty with nowhere to hide. He’d seen off my friends and my family too the bastard had used me so well, I was at a lost as what to do.  I finished my packing  and and stopped my tears, that he would see me wrecked was my greatest fear.

I fixed up my make up and dressed to impress, that thieving two timing bastard was in for some distress! I put all my worldly goods in my car and tried to ignore the pain in my heart of a newly formed scar. I drove slowly and precisely then parked up the car then as serenely as I could I entered the bar.

OH! hello darling I sexily said as I emptied a bottle of red wine over his head.As his tart jump up out of her chair I smiled as sprayed some ink in her  peroxide blond  hair. Your welcome I told her but you mark my word he is a con man and a control freak and he’ll lie when he give you a #### so you are welcome my dear and I wish you good luck.

God help me, I was shaking from my head to my toe and as I reached the car I was screaming inside because I’d loved him so. But things needed doing and I could not waste time so I made a few phone calls and moved  my money so that swine would never again  touch what was mine.

With an ache in my heart and hate in my gut I drove myself away from him and his slut. I am older and wiser but very sad for the loss of the love that I never had had.

Previous Older Entries

Follow me on Twitter

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

Author Steve Boseley - Half a Loaf of Fiction

Horror and Dark Fiction, and assorted other topics

Ben Naga

Gifts from the Musey Lady and Me. "Laissez-moi vous raconter ma vraie histoire."

A Unique Title For Me

Hoping to make the world more beautiful

Looking For The Light

Keep Moving Forward

M J Mallon YA/Paranormal Author

Kyrosmagica Publishing - The Magical Home of Books, Writing and Inspiration

Jane Dougherty Writes

About fantastical places and other stuff

chuffincat

By popular demand.

Art by Rob Goldstein

There is no common truth, but there are facts.

Thru Violet's Lentz

My view, tho' somewhat askew...

The Sound of One Hand Typing

Music, Musings, Memoir, and Madness

Savoring Sixty and Beyond

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

Antonia Sara Zenkevitch

poetry, writings & rants; hope in the margins

SaylingAway

Shorts, Novels, and Other Things

J-Dubs Grin and Bear It

As Always, More to Come

Joy Lennick

Writing and Reading

The Swan Song

Words and Words are all I have!

The Silent Eye

A Modern Mystery School

TanGental

Writing, the Universe and whatever occurs to me

The Annual Bloggers Bash

The Official Website for the Best Blogging Event of the Year!

Just muddling through life

The ups and downs of a working mum

ThoughtsnLifeBlog

Our Thoughts Influence Our Life.

Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

Roberta Writes

How you see life depends on how you look at things

The Showers of Blessings

Giving and Receiving Blessings

TheFeatheredSleep

Tigers not daughters

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

Jordy’s Streamings

Solve et Coagula

Ishaisms

Fiction is the ONLY Reality.

Susie Lindau's Wild Ride

Come for Adventure. Stay for the Ride!

PainPalsBlog

My family and friends living with me.....and chronic illness

deadbutdreaming

Otherworldy Things

Willow Poetry

Hélène Vaillant

Inspiring Images

inspiring, photography, inspirational

Quiet Hope

insights, quandaries, questions - shared among friends

Author Don Massenzio

Independent Authors Unite!

A Vodka Kind Of Mom

Where you can feel okay about having a vodka tonic while playing with your children with a splash of my feminist views and a whole hell of a lot of female empowerment