K.L. Caley’s #writephoto: Plane.

Plane – Image by KL Caley

For visually challenged writersthe image shows a black and white aeroplane statue surrounded by colourful flowers.

It’s a saucy episode for Morgarna and the nuns I hope no one is offended? This is Part of K.L. Caley’s #writephoto Plane!

******

Silently Morgarna turned and slipped back along the path to the Priory. As she left the woods and headed up the lawns towards the priory, she turned and made sure she was not been followed, and turning back toward the priory she scanned the windows to ensure no one was watching her.
She used Mother Superior’s keys to let herself in by a door half way along the building, she headed up the corridor towards Mother Agnes’s room.
Using Agnes’s keys again she let herself into the Mother Superior’s room.
Raising a hand she said ‘okay you can just listen no need for you to speak.” Lighting a cigarette and getting her flask of Bacardi and Coke out of her bag she offered Mother Agnes a drink. The nun shook her head but smiled an enquiring smile at this strange and wild woman!
Taking a drag of her cigarette Morgarna sat opposite Mother and related what she had seen. ” Now tell me sister are there male Carthusian brothers near here?”
Mother Agnes nodded her head,
” Do they want to join you here?”
Another nod from Mother Agnes.
“Okay I take it you are not in favour of this “
Agnes shook her head vehemently.
” Why” asked Morgarna handing Agnes parchment and quill. Sitting down Morgarna finished her cigarette and sipped her Bacardi while Mother Agnes wrote.
Agnes handed Morgarna her reply which Morgarna read.
The brothers are insisting that we vacate this Priory so they can move in, they say being men they take preference over us. It’s not fair Morgarna, we have been here fifty years since I was a young novice. The brothers were here before but they left to join a larger monrastery. Now some of them wish to return. ‘
Morgarna finished reading and put the parchment back on the desk.
“Right’ she said one of the Monks is putting an hallucinagenic powder into your food v
ia the mushrooms I saw a monk do this with my own eyes this evening. Morgarna didn’t need Agnes to write a reply it was actually written all over her face. “Now I have a plan said Morgarna, all I need you to do is not eat the vegetable stew the kitchen nuns have prepared! ” Mother Agnes nodded.


Morgarna joined the other nuns for the evening meal. It was delicious, and Morgarna had two helpings much to the other nuns horror, they were only allowed one helping but Morgarna was a guest after all.
After the meal was cleared away and the Nuns went to the chapel to recite Compline.
The powder was beginning to weave it’s magic the nuns were feeling the effects, there was a lot of giggling and throwing off of robes… The powder had quite an orgasmic effect on everyone.

——————

Morgarna was rather enjoying herself too, when she noticed a few monks dressed in the same Carthusian robes as the monk in the clearing entering the chapel.
Reluctantly she waved a hand across her forehead and instantly she was back to normal …” Humm” she muttered, I was enjoying that” taking a deep breath she headed for the chapel.


As she walked down the stone hallway towards the chapel she heard a lot of excited sounds… opening the door Morgarna was surprised by the scene that met her. It was a full blown orgy!
Morgarna toyed with the idea of whipping out her special mobile phone and taking some photos… Her better side won and she decided against it!
As she stepped over the entwined bodies some of the monks reached out to touch her….ignoring her pact with Merlin , ‘No magic unless unavailable’, she muttered a few incantations and all the monks penis’s shrunk and then disappeared. This caused so much consideration among the monks that the orgy came to an abrupt end.
Morgarna ignoring the loud protestations from the Monks, waved a hand over all the nuns , immediately they all put on their habits and filed out of the chapel and went to their cells and slept the sleep of the innocent.


Morgarna told the red faced monks to re-robe and follow her to Mother Superior’s room. Mother Agnes was rather surprised but not totally shocked. The monks revield that they were there without the knowledge of their Abbot who had no intention of returning to the priory. These monks were simply indulging their carnal instincts completely of their own volition and were drugging the nuns to get their own way.
Morgarna asked mother Agnes what she wanted to do.


So it was that just after midnight, eight redface and naked monks were banging on the Monastery door. Around their necks were plaques that said that they had been drugging the nuns at the priory and having their wicked way with them !


That afternoon Mother Agnes sent for Morgarna, she had received a message from the Abbot of the Carthusian Monastery. Saying thank you for returning his monks who had mysteriously returned as castrato something that was much needed in their choir.

Mother Agnes asked Morgarna what she had been up to? Morgarna winked and said “Mother I couldn’t possibly say! But they will be firing blanks and singing high for the rest of their lives! “
The nuns were all up early the next day though most of them were complaining of very odd dreams.


Before Morgarna left she popped a morning after pill in all the nuns porridge! As she strolled around the garden the Anomaly arrived and she jumped.

Plane – Image by KL Caley

Landing on a colourful flower bed under a black and white aeroplane statue Morgana spotted Merlin waiting for her in the BMW. ‘You’ve got a lot of crawling to do you shit if you don’t want to end up like those monks !”

Paling, Merlin replied “I have a night for you booked at the Ritz ” “No way” Morgarna replied, you can take me to Glastonbury! “

K.L.Caley’s #writephoto. Mushrooms.

Mushrooms – Image by KL Caley

For visually challenged writersthe image shows a mass of brown mushrooms all growing on top of one another.

Did Merlin go too far last week? Will Morgarna ever forgive him?

Mushrooms.

“What the hell is going on?” Morgarna was struggling with reality. What had happened to this place where was the ensuite and the carpet! Hang on there’s a pot under the bed needs must …
Morgarna was wondering where Merlin was and why everything of comfort was gone from the room when the sound of a key turning in the door made her jump off the pot and pull her knickers up!
“Ah! my dear , Mother Superior will see you now” a young fresh faced girl dressed as a nun said smiling at her.
Morgarna rubbed her eyes and said “what the fuck…who the hell are you?”
The novice blushed visibly and replied ” well my dear you can’t deny your Anglo Saxon roots after that speech!”
“No I am not, but sister what’s going on? Where is Merlin ? “
Again the nun looked embarrassed “Merlin…there is no Merlin here. We are in a priory. No men allowed!”
“Oh!” said Morgarna” feeling smug and also annoyed at being hyjacked. “Not for much longer you’ll soon have some of your Carthusian brothers join you! “
The young woman looked fit to faint as she took in what Morgarna had just said!


The two women left the room and went down several flights of stairs and along a narrow stone passage past a huge kitchen where a number of nuns were silently busy, past a dinning room, empty, and a beautiful chapel full of flowers and stain glass windows . Everywhere was silence, so loud l could be cut it with a knife. Eventually they came to a huge wooden door the novice stood forward and in a very quiet voice she said, do not speak unless you are spoken to. Morgarna opened her mouth to reply but the young woman put her fingers on her lips and her eyes beceahed Morgarna to comply…… Morgarna did.


The inside of the room was very dark even though it was mid morning the only light to work by was candle. There was a large desk covered in papers and sat behind it was a tiny lady of advanced years. She had a kindly face and she looked every inch the Mother Superior.
The novice bobbed her knee, Mother Superior smiled and motioned that she should leave.
Once the door was closed the older woman motioned to Morgarna to take a seat. She offered Morgarna a plate of fruit, cheese and bread and a glass of golden mead , then surprised Morgarna by saying. “Eat my dear it’s getting late in the morning and I need you to think straight.We are Carthusian nuns so please listen carefully as I do not wish to repeat myself as I have taken a vow of silence”
Smiling and sipping the mead Morgarna felt at home, she also ate heartily as she felt quite hungry. When Morgana finished eating she dug out her cigarettes and lighter, as she lit one she noticed a file in her bag. Obviously it was going to be relevant. As she pulled it out she spotted ‘Hi Babes’ written on the front. Taking a drag on her cigarette , much to the silent constanation of Mother Superior, Morgarna muttered ” Don’t you Hi Babes me you shit” then looking across at the nun she winked and said, “Sorry Mother but he can be a real creep, oh! And these” she said raising her cigarette , “these will be more common place soon, maybe not tailor made like mine but definitely around! “
Mother Superior smiled and nodded while Morgarna read the file.
“Morges, Hun I know I was a tad sneaky.. Okay I was a total shit posting you back to the middle ages but Mother Agnes is a lovely lady and she has helped me out more than once.
She got in touch with me because some of the ladies of the order are acting very un nun like, high jinks , skinny dipping and generally terrorising the locals! Yup Morgs you’ll fit in perfectly!
This usually occurs after the evening meal…could you be a sweetheart and look into it please? ” The file was signed with a flourish.
Looking up at Mother Superior Morgarna smiled, “Okay Mother I am here now and very happy to help so if you don’t mind me pottering about I will see what I can gleam ” Ending on a smile she lent across the desk and picked up Sister Agnes’s keys from the desk, the nun smiled her concent. Morgarna drained her meade lit another cigarette and left Sister Agnes wondering what type of witch Merlin had sent her!


Morgarna walked along the corridor, her Doc Martin’s clonking on the stone floor. Using the keys she checked out every, storeroom and cupboard, cell, refrectory and chapel, nothing was out of place or out of the norm. She checked every herb, vegetable and fruit, there was nothing unusual or dangerous. She tried the water from the well, yuk! It was disgustingly pure and fresh. Finally she checked the wine and mead barrels in the celler. Actually she checked each barrel twice!


It was now early evening and Morgarna was sitting in the gardens enjoying the quiet wondering exactly what had she missed because so far there was nothing at all that could send anyone off the straight and narrow.
Just the she spotted one of the kitchen nuns heading off into the woods, an empty basket in hand. On a whim she decided to follow her.
The nun took a winding path to a clearing, a musty place full of decaying leaves and fungi. The nun stooped down and filled her basket from a mass of brown mushrooms all growing on top of one another.

Mushrooms – Image by KL Caley

Instinctively Morgarna hid behind a tree trunk and watched as a man dressed in monk’s robes emerged from the other side of the clearing he spoke to the nun who, startled dropped her basket of mushrooms. As the Monk help the nun gather up the mushrooms Morgarna saw him sprinkle some powder over the fungi. At once Morgarna knew what was going on……

This is part of K.L.Caley’s #writephoto.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 1, 2021

Badge by Shelley Krupa.

Hi it’s Saturday and time for LindaGHill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. #SoCs. This week Linda said : Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “may.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

The May Day Possession.

May Day, I am carrying Dad’s Lilley of the Valley, a huge bunch. They smell absolutely beautiful. The sky is so blue and there are puffy little clouds floating around.

I am wearing my summer school uniform, so I am still in the junior part of the school. A powder blue pleated dress, a wide yolk at the front topped with a white collar. At the waste a belt that joins buttons at front. My blonde hair is in neat plaits, but as usual the unruly whisps are escaping around my face….that will get me scolded by the nuns. On top of my head is my straw Panama hat with the school badge. I have fresh white knee length socks and my sensible brown sandals.

I walk the two miles to school so proud of Dad’s flowers. Sister Margarite is waiting at the gate, she tells me off because my socks are not quite up to my knees and my unruly hair. I was never in her good books…she always had something to scold me for.

Today though I did not let her upset me, it was the first school Monday in May and time for the May day possession. The statue of Our Lady, Queen of the May was to be carried from the gate at the junior’s part of the school around the roads to the front of the senior school and through to the front lawn outside the main convent house.

I was always so proud because Dad’s flowers were used to decorate the statue’s head with a crown of Lilly of the Valley. The statue was carried on a plinth by four girls, and we all processed, some infront of the Virgin Queen of the May and the rest behind scattering petals on to the road and singing hymns to the Virgin Mary. How ever hard I tried to be good, try as I may, I was never picked to be a barer of the statue.

And here is the hymn we sang.

A new Home for Sue Vincent’s #writephoto. The first Challenge Behind the Door.

KL Caley at Novel Ideas has offered to take on Sue Vincent’s #writephoto as a weekly challenge now it has become too difficult for Sue to continue.

K.L. said : “I am sure so many of you will already know this wonderful story but a little over five years ago, the wonderful Sue Vincent of Daily Echo (and The Silent Eye) posted the most intriguing image:”

Beyond the Door – Image by Sue Vincent

The convent was surrounded by an ancient stone wall. For centuries there was no entrance or exit gate or door. Novices when first admitted had to use an old wooden ladder and take a leap of faith to enter. Food supplies and correspondence was pullyed over the walls by means of bucket and rope.

The nuns lived a complentative life, growing what they could and tending their animals and themselves with the minimum of contact with outside world. The had a well, a library, a hospital and they were self-sufficient. They survived plagues, the Refermation, world wars and up until now any influence from the modern world.

Suddenly one day the sound of stones being chiseled could be heard in the nearby fields. The press and media were alerted and rushed to see and report on what was happening. Over night a beautiful round door appeared in the wall.

The door was opened once, briefly, by a tiny little Nun who looked escance at the gathered media. She shook her head, slammed the door shut and locked it. Things carried on just as before. After a while the media gave up on the story.

One Liner Wednesday:Change of Pace

I was watching  ‘Call  the  midwife‘ a  program I  love. The  characters  are  so  lovely. Typical  50/60 fashions ,  music  and  wonderful  story lines. The  Midwives  and  the  Nun’s  all speak  excellent BBC English  while  everyone else speaks  East End cockney.

Picture  the  seen  the  Nuns  and  midwives  are  running  an  anti natal clinic. A young woman  known  to  one of  the midwives (Trixie) is  called  for  an exam by  Midwife Barbara. Midwife  Trixie  buts  in  ” Can I  examine  this  patient  pleased Barbara” Barbara replies “OH! yes of course, I haven’t  boiled  any  urine  this  morning,I could  do  with  a  change of  pace!”

That  “OH! yes of course, I haven’t  boiled  any  urine  this  morning,I could  do  with  a  change of  pace!”   is  one of  the  best  one  liners  I  have  heard  for a  while!

call-the-midwife-bbc-72585_big

LindaGHill’s rules  for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!

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