My First Post #myfirstpostrevisited

My dear  Blog  sister  Ritu  of But I  Smile Anyway, who is  sitting  at  home  right  now  recovering   from  nasty  bruises  and  shock  from singlehandedly  closing  the M6 at  the weekend. Thank  God no one  was  hurt.
Thank  you  for  nominating  me  Ritu  , I  don’t often  do  these  type of  posts  but  why  not!

my-first-post_revisited-bloghop

A tag started by a blogger/writer called Sarah Brentyn, asking us to revisit our first ever blog posts!

I wrote  my  first  blog  on  June 26  2011. I  was  struggling  with  pain and  depression  while  recovering  from  breaking  my  back,  for  the second  time. I had  been in  hospital  for a long  time, I  was unable  to  work, unable  to get around  and  was watching  my  “friends” disappear like  rabbits  down a  hole! I was attending a  pain clinic  where I  was being  seen  by a pain physiologist who  suggested I ” wrote  my  feeling  down, write  my  pain  out  and  see if  that  might  help  ” Thankfully  she  had  hit the  nail on  the  head  it  did  help  and I  really  am grateful to her.

This is  my space 

This is my space, don’t intrude.

It’s all that I have left, my safe place so don’t be rude.

It is dark out there and it is a hurtful place.

Don’t come near or I shall scratch your face.

This is all that I have to call my own.

Out there it’s hurt and fear and there is no way home.

The noise out there is endless and the bullying never stops.

The insults hurt they stick like dirt and they won’t wash off with the raindrops.

The ties that bind infect my mind, self blame becomes my crown

I am lost and so confused not knowing up from down.

I will not move I am protected here.

I am warm, tired and full of fear

Self loathing gnaws at my very being.

Something watches me, something all seeing.

The voices full of reproach and disdain

Claw at my bones and all is pain.

I want to move, I need to hide

I have nothing left. No will, no pride.

I wish that I was tiny, too small to see.

I could hide and recover and maybe I could be free.

I am tired of blame and threats. I am lost and in need of a mother.

Mine is long gone sadly, you only get one, no chance of another.

Okay the rules

Obvious rules:

  • No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)
  • Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).

Other rules:

  • Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)
  • Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.
  • Tag…um…tentwotwelve five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.
  • Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).
  • Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.
  • Include “the rules” in your post.

Completely silly rules that someone  made up as they typed:

  • Drink a glass of wine, bottle of beer, cup of coffee, mug of herbal tea or whatever floats your boat after you hit “publish”. (In other words, toast yourself. Go you!)
  • Read the post out loud in a Mickey Mouse voice.

who to  nominate 

dorindaduclos

Tess

Hugh

Kat

Lynz

 

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