Maggie from, from cave walls wrote: ‘January is behind us and I felt I should give you an update on my conversation with Lauren on the status of our Throwback Thursday posts. “
She has spoken to Lauren who she started Throwback Thursday with about it’s future. They have decided that as Lauren is not well and has enough to cope with at the moment they would suspend Throwback Thursday until Lauren feels she can cope.
So for now Maggie has decided to do a Tranquil Thursday prompt until Throwback Thursday returns. As a I see it out prompt this week is : What is written in your book and what remains unwritten?
I am not a hundred percent sure if I have read this correctly anyway here goes.
Life… A Terza Rima, what is written. © willowdot21
I did not ask for this life,
It was alloted to me
I walked daily amid madness and strife.
When a child too young to see
I blindly followed every rule
I was fitted with the ties that stop me being being free.
I learned to read and write at school.
Yet they did not want me to think
I was bullied, pushed around, I was named a fool.
I was weak, my armour full of chinks
But I strived to hide my fears
Paint on a smile hide the missing links.
Ambition and aspirations came along the years
Despite opposition I grew wings
Layers formed that gave my life tiers
Dreams I had enough to throw to the winds
Hold on to them as I may they slipped away.
Like so much detritus blown around the bins.
Finding my identity made me strong and whole
I found my voice, written words, my choice
As I strode toward my goal.
I was teased but it didnt hurt, as I said that was my choice
No one was unkind no tears burned me
Quietly my flag of independence I unfurled and hoist.
Married, they all said, your but a baby
I was determined though, afraid to be left alone
So the plans were laid, a start a bridal spree.
Seventeen, and full of hopes ready to leave home
Sister’s, sewing, in-laws arranging cars, cakes, and bridesmaids
Such a lot to do, in a few weeks I shall have flown
For a while all is bright and darkness fades
What the future holds I do not know
I am important for now I have the spotlight before it degrades
The dress is silk and white oh! how it flows
We take our vows and mean forever
Our love so huge it burns and glows.
And so our journey is begun joined by an invisible tether
Into our new life we blindly drive
Ignoring the pitfalls of life, newlyweds wrapped up in eachother.
Young and happy to be alive
Learning lessons daily sharing our new life
It was not easy being a wife
So many compromises to play
Still the love, in those days out weighed the strife.
We had a girl who could not stay
Then a boy who nearly didn’t either
But he did and after a dicey start is with us to this day.
We had to move down west to pastures new
Fresh start with baby on the way
Staying with inlaw’s a tricky thing to do.
Our home, with new babe out of hospital finally okay
Builders, sea gulls in the wilderness
Alone and unsure so much I was under stress and not okay.
Two more babes refused to stay I was thin and depressed
Hubby worked away I was so alone
Then another baby on the way we moved away from the west.
Back to London and my Mum’s home
Finding comfort in family and the old familiar
For most of that pregnancy I was not alone.
At length we managed to secure a home, three quarters of an hour from Mum’s by car.
The previous owners had not left and it was pouring with rain
Screaming baby, soaked possessions but we had our own place again Ah!
The years came and went and we all grew, good times, bad times in the frame.
I watched the boys grow and then ten years on another boy arrived.
Many things happen as a family grows and memories remain.
I had some black times it was never easy but we all survived
As our family out grew our home so we bought a bigger house
Sometimes I just hid inside my head until my soul revived.
I was often scared, letting myself be bullied, I acted like a mouse.
I lost my grip on ambition like sand it slipped through my fingers.
I felt so insecure, try as I might my fears I could not douse.
Hubby suffered with stress , the kind that lingers
The boys grew and flourished they were out life
Then we moved house again to our forever home .
It’s never easy being a mother or a wife
It pushes you and stresses you to your limit
Yet it brings joy and meaning to your life.
Years past, some alone but I coped no longer timid.
The boys grew into men I found myself again
We all need to grow and not be tied down.
The boys have grown and flown but their roots here remain
Family ties get stretchrd and torn
Yet with their choices I really can’t complain.
Twice I break my back, rue the day I was born
Second time I started to write
Words free me from prison I should of done it all along.
Things may not be perfect, I did not ask for this life,
It was alloted to me
But I walk daily content amid madness and strife.
What is unwritten
So now I have wings and I am armed with a pen…. Mightier than the sword? Yes I think so. Writing has opened my eyes and I have made so many friends online. I have grandchildren who are wonderful.
So what’s unwritten? A lot less than is but I shall not waste what is left. I want to publish, I want to cuddle my grandsons I want to embrace my family and life.
willowdot21 