They are not in there they have gone.
Don’t search for the beautiful light that once shone,
They are not themselves, their soul has fled
Gone to us, to all purposes dead.
How cruel, how mean, how so unkind
To leave a feeble body and take a beautiful mind.
There are no words that can truly describe
The pain and fear of those trapped inside.
They can not reason they know no rhyme
They are gone and we are left behind.
Recognition in the eyes is sadly mockery.
This is no longer them, they are not who they used to be.
Screams of anger, voices harsh with fists of hate
You try so hard, you have so much on your plate.
There is no more that you can do.
They may be gone, still you try to be true.
NaBloPoMo : Dementia , Alzheimer’s Cruel Game.
11 Mar 2021 30 Comments
in Depression, feeling unwell Tags: Altzhimers, dementia, Heartache, loss, Struggle
Song Lyric Sunday: 17/11/19. Don’t.
17 Nov 2019 70 Comments
in Music, Poems, song challenges, Song Lyric Sunday, songs Tags: cancer, death, friends, Jim Adams, loss
This week Jim Adams our talented host for Song Lyric Sunday has said that this week’s prompt is : November 17, 2019 – Did/Didn’t/Do/Don’t/Does/Doesn’t.

This week Jim’s prompt for us set me in mind of my dear friend Karen who died of cancer of the osphagus. We were close friends, I was not long out if hospital having broken my back badly , for the second time, when I got the news from Karen that she was ill.
The reason I have chosen Don’t stop me now by Queen will become apparent at the end of this post.
Don’t Stop Me Now” is a song by the British rock band Queen from their 1978 album Jazz and released as a single in 1979. Written by lead singer Freddie Mercury, it was recorded in August 1978 at Super Bear Studios in Berre-les-Alpes (Alpes-Maritimes), France, and is the twelfth track on the album. More information here.
I hope no one minds me making this so personal but this is Karen’s song.
To Karen

Karen
I rang her every day for over a year,
I begged to come see her but she would not let me near.
We laughed with each other but more often we cried.
I wanted to be with with her but her fears, this to me denied.
I begged her to fight it she told me she was tired
I nagged and bullied she said I was fired!
Things never got better she slipped from my grasp
I tried hard to see her but she still refused, so I did as she asked.
Then finally the day came and I got the call
At last I got to visit , not that she knew at all.
I talked of blue skies and beaches and clouds
I did not whisper I told her out loud.
She was struggling for breath then I caught her eye in a moment of clarity
I told her I loved her she flashed at me “no pity!”
Her hands were dirty her nails were lined black
Her pain and the squalor are the memories that keep coming back.
I spent four days in her company
I could not believe what I had to see.
I hated her suffering as she breathed her last,
Sadly these horrid memories stuck in my mind, the ones which I cannot get past.

It was a foggy freezing December day
When we all met at the Crematorium our goodbyes to say.
To a larger than life, loud colourful girl
Who with a flash of her eyes could set our working day in a whirl.
I sat there sobbing but she had to have the last word
“Get a grip you silly cow” were the words that I heard.
Then as her coffin disappeared for her final bow
She went out with a flourish to Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’.
Karen 1958 – 2010
Lest We Forget.
10 Nov 2019 16 Comments
in History, Music, Poems, Talking Straight Tags: death, loss, Remembrance, War
They were so brave, so very young Their journey had not yet begun. Blindly they marched into the guns To a last roll call at the setting sun. They had family and loved ones They all marched off as friends They left their homes full of hope Most would not be back again.


They pulled the gun carriages until they dropped
They carried messages and they got shot.
They searched out the unexploded mines
They saved lives a thousand times.
Spare a thought for the horse, pigeon, donkey dog and many more
Remember them, they all help us in times of war

Why
Argue
Both were brave
Each had their own
Principles to up
Hold. Neither less than bold.
One would carry a weapon
The other a stretcher, no gun
Both men died for their own held beliefs
They were both lost and that loss brought much grief.
———
From the beginning of time up until now and way in to the future war prevails. I believe we will never be free of war.
What we can do is remember those who have given their health or their lives for us to hopefully live better lives. I say Thank You.
We must never forget.
Ice Cold
30 Aug 2019 22 Comments
in Depression, Poems Tags: Depression, Ice cold, loss, lost love
All ties, torn and broken I carry my heart in a jar
I search for you, eyes downcast, I follow your scent from afar.
I told you I would do it, rip my heart out for you in a beat
I have cleaned it and pickled it and it is now ready for you to eat.
The wind blows through the forest ice cold it comes from the north.
I no longer feel it’s icy chill as half naked on my quest for you I set forth.
Life’s blood dripping from my wound, my eyes hold a dead glassy stare
My body aches for you my my soul screams out in pain,my hopes go nowhere.
The tiny, tight pleats on my dress reflect the meanness of your being
My bared breast a reminder of my love and nurturing
Free, unfettered there for you to suckle from, and hold
But you have cast me off unwanted abandoned to the cold.
**********
An old poem of mine, renamed and revamped from 2013.
Naani : Remember Them.
10 Nov 2018 12 Comments
in Poems, Uncategorized Tags: Fallen Soldiers, loss, rememberance, saddness, waste
Shoulder to shoulder
They stand. Far too many
To count. They fought
In the air, on sea and land.
What do you See? Oct/9/2018
13 Oct 2018 15 Comments
in photos, Poems Tags: loss, mourning, photo prompt, weekly challenge, What do you see, Willow Poetry
This is my entry for Hélène Vaillant’s “What do you see? Weekly challenge”
Here is the prompt photo. I see three generations looking out for a lost love taken by the sea. Turned to stone as they wait. I also see a family pet.
They wait patiently
Watching ever hopeful of
A return from sea
A family ripped apart
Turned to stone but still with heart.
Essence Duplete. Day24
24 Mar 2018 2 Comments
in Poems Tags: Day 24, Duplete, Essence, Jane Dougherty, Life, loss, sadness
Words can not be unsaid
Lost the plot, my heart dead.
********************
A dark reflection I
Life’s stark, away hopes fly.
**********************
Essence Day 11
11 Mar 2018 7 Comments
in Poems Tags: Essence, loss, missed so, Mum
Missed so now you are gone
Voice low, memories throng.
Thoughts at the end of the year.
30 Dec 2017 17 Comments
in Poems Tags: loss, reflection, resignation, sadness
Thoughts at the end of the Year. When it is dark damp an cold.
It’s not a bad life, it’s just not the life I wanted.
Life is not a bowl of cherries they say, but I would be happy with pears
Stalked by stress and worry, by dark clouds haunted
Always trying to be the mediator
Even when no one else cares.
Well eventually you awake to the fact that you are nothing
You have lost what you were, it is easier to just give in
The path less travelled becomes a forgotten thing.
Follow the piper as his melody you sing.
So, as like the day this year is comes to an end
Stillness creeps in to immortal my soul
Like the Willow bow and bend
I shall move on , I shall survive my friend.