Hanging on by a broken thread.

I am loosing  my  tenuous  grip  on life

My place   in  the  scheme is  slipping  away

Am I  needed, as  mother , lover or  wife.

Slipping  further  in to  darkness  every  day.

 

The words more  bitter  and  harder  to  take

Loosing  those  I love , the  ties  cut as they leave

It hurts  as I feel   my  heart shatter  and  brake

Don’t  want  to pretend anymore  it is  too hard  to fake.

 

So I  bury  my  head  in  music and  try  to  ignore  the pain

Just  Hanging on  by  a broken thread.

 

 

Passed the sell by!

We all know  when  a  relationship  has  come  to  an end

When everything good  that  was once  has  simply  disapeared

No  more  to be said it’s  run it’s  course  no need  to drag it out  my  friend. 

It is pointless  to pretend there is  any life left in this  relationship 

 

How sharper

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is 

To have a thankless child!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True mother love

Shakespeare  said  this  and  he  was right

For  thankless  or  not  I feel in this  plight.

To  have  and hold  a baby new

Is  the  most wonderful  thing  you  can do.

 

To  watch  them  grow  and  become the  apple  of  your  eye

You teach them to  love  and care, you  kiss away  tears  when they  cry.

Sharing  all  their  triumphs  large  and  small

To pick  them up  and  brush them off  when they fall.

 

Sacrificing  your  hearts  desire for  all their  dreams

You’d  die  for  them, give  your  all, sometimes,  for  naught  it  seems

They  grow  and  fly  make  their  own  nests

Sometimes  they include  you  and  you  feel truly  blessed

 

To  have  a  child  who’ partner   shuts  you  out

Is  the  most  painful  thing  without  a doubt

To see  a  grandchild  so rarely that  he  hardly  knows  you

Is  pain  beyond  pain, try  as  you may  there is nothing  you can  do.

 

I feel so sad  I have  committed  no sin

Why  am I  on the outside  looking  in?

Not the A to Z April Challenge : SoCs. Very Viscous Circles Vary.

Round  we  go in very viscous circles

Beating our heads against  the  walls

With varying  degrees  of

Pain. We  hurt so very much

Recoiling  at  the

The slightest touch.

So very sad

We vary

Much.

LindaGHill said  Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: vary/very. Use one, use ’em both, add stuff to ’em, your choice. Have a blast!”

So this  is  part  of  LindaGHill’s  Stream of  Consciousness Saturday  : Rules  here

http://lindaghill.com/2015/04/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2515/

 

BATZAP

 

 

NOT THE APRIL A TO Z CHALLENGE : Discombobulated.

Discomboulated

Totally  Discombobulated

Against me  the stars were fated

Silently I stood, waited

Everything I hated

Was  happening  now

I made  a vow

I won’t row

no not

now.

 

Just Jot it January: Elastic Heart.

Today LindaGHill  set the final prompt in the 2015 edition of Just Jot It January  as, sex.

Well I love Sia  and  I thought  that  her Video of  two dancers , in  a cage  depicting , as I see it two animals fighting, is exstremely thought provoking.  The  fact one is a grown man and  the  other  a 12yr old  girl is strange…… but is is about sex.

I do not think so, to  me  there is  nothing  sexual in the portrayal. I  do find it very disturbing  though, mainly because it is so sad.

The  two dancers  are Shia LaBeouf & Maddie Ziegler    They are simply  amazing.

So here  we have it lets discuss this,  is this  video  about  sex or not ? I say not, pain, fear, anger, being trapped …. Yes ! Sex  ….. No!

I give you Sia’s Elastic Heart.

 

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill.

Thanks for tuning in and if you want to join, feel free to click on the link and start jotting!

 

Monster In The Corner.

Monster in the corner

It is  hiding in the corner

Nipping at my ear

Making me a loner

Filling me  with fear.

Taking  joy, in clawing at my heart

Repeating all it’s venom inside my head

Giving not a shit  for me tearing me apart

Picking at all my scabs, I am wishing I were dead.

Laughing at my sorrow

Enjoying all my grief

It has stolen  my tomorrow

Denying  my  souls relief.

 

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill. Thanks for tuning in and if you want to join, feel free to click on the link and start jotting!

 

FanFoFeb: I Cut therefore I bleed.

In goes  the blade and the blood seeps out

The relief is immediate all of the pain escapes in a spout.

You have to be careful  that the scars will not show

This  is yours  only, yours no one else must ever know.

 

This you secret, as dirty as can be

You need to cut yourself, you have to cut yourself  to be free.

Hounded all day and nagged at  by night

Why don’t  you go out anymore with your friends, why do you look such a fright.

 

Oh! that is a deep one, Oh! look at  the blood flow

The warm wet is comforting , this is really soothing you know.

Oh! it won’t  stop, what shall I do. OMG that’s  a pool of my blood on the floor.

I am feeling cold and tired , I’ll just close my eyes,I can’t fight anymore.

 

 

Lots of  young girls self harm and cut, it is true,

But never forget lots of young boys do this too.

Boys are  venerable and easy to hurt as well

They suffer  and pretend lost in their private hell.

 

Look out now  for your daughters  and sons

It is too late to help them if  they are dead and gone.

Watch out for the signs ,look out for signs of strife

If  you ignore them you could regret this  for the rest of your life.

 

 

 

Places of  help

http://www.harmless.org.uk/

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/#.UwPhMvl_uSp

Or talk to me.

 

 

JusJoJan: Meeting in the rain.

Hello, hello I said

He stopped and turned his head

Our eyes met a thousand questions left unanswered.

So long since we last met .

The rain fell hard

Yet I could not feel it, my heart so scarred

Not a word from you, you left me high and dry

Gone without a word nothing left to do but cry.

Your face said it all

Not wanting  to see me, you threw up a wall so tall

Cut so deep I thought my heart would stop

“Sorry my mistake” I said, “I don,t know you” I smiled. I watched as  your jaw dropped

NaBloPoMo : Dementia , Alzheimer’s Cruel Game.

She is not in there she has gone.

Why  search for the beautiful  light that once shone,

She is no  more herself, her soul  has fled

Gone to us, to all purposes dead.

 

How  cruel,  how mean,  how so unkind

To leave a feeble body and take a beautiful mind.

There are no words that can truly  describe

The pain and fear of those trapped dead yet  still alive.

 

 

You can not reason they know no rhyme

They are gone and left us to mourn  behind.

The  tiny flashes of a knowing  eye is  just  a mockery

This is no longer your loved one,  they are no longer who they used to be.

 

 

Screams of anger, voices harsh with  fists of hate

You try so hard, you have so much on your plate.

There is  no more that  you can in all honesty  do

They may  be gone ,  but you can hold you patience  and to their love  be true.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have written  this  for http://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com/     she needs our hugs.

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