What Day is it Anyway. July 28th.

Photos of blood , beware if you are screamish.

Well the last time I did a #WDIIA Was the 6th July 22days ago. So why have I decided to do one today and why have started with Annie Lennox and a Whiter Shade Of Pale. Well all will be revealed.

So it’s been even more samey for me because of the drain my ‘friend’ now for seven weeks! Basically awake at stupid o’clock, breakfast in bed if feeling good up by 10am if not between 11/12 pm …do a few jobs nothing taxing or heavy, read, blog, a walk round the block on hubby’s arm . Totally knackered by 9pm so back to bed. Sunday evening we have a virtual meet up with friends from up the road, but apart from a few friends/ family socially distancing in the garden it’s just been hubby and me. We have had hospital visits and a couple of trips to the surgery to have my drain dressing changed. Heavily masked up and socially distanced.

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So what’s different today?

Went to the hospital today for me to gave a Fluoroscopy. It was painful! I was surprised I am usually okay with discomfort.
Also I am loosing blood now because the Dr said she had disturbed everything. So now I have a bleed to keep an eye on. I am praying it will stop on it own without the need to go to hospital for that awful clotting drug or worse blood.
Unfortunately the drain cannot come out because the massive stone is still blocking the neck of the gall bladder which is not draining on its own at all.
The surgeons have to. Review the fluoroscopy and then get intouch with me again to organise an appointment to organise the removal of drain and gall bladder.

So I have gone from this seven weeks ago

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To this yesterday 15mils/20mils of bile up to yesterday.

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To this again today.

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Hense the opening song: A Whiter Shade Of Pale.

Plus Hubby’s brother is being awkward again about MIL’s estate? Why when neither of hubby’s siblings want to help and leave it all to him to do, do they cause trouble??

All that is leaving us exhausted!

Anway it’s time for a happy song. I think we need one today!

Right no more moans 🎶The Only Way Is Up Baby🎶

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA

Be kind to eachother.
So tired
Be safe our there

Just Jot it Jan Day 3, Poke.

Well here we are the First Friday in 2020 and today it is also day three of #jusjojan . As usual our lovely host LindaGHill is hosting this mind exercise.

No I noticed that by today’s date on Linda’s rules page is the word Poke.

The definition of poke is. To jab or prod (someone or something) with one’s finger or a sharp object.”he poked Benny in the ribs and pointed”

To poke the fire

Makes the flames grow higher.

To poke your nose in where it’s not needed

Makes people angry and rows get seeded

Okay I really don’t know why I am writing the above. Today I have to go into hospital for two small operations. I am nervous, I have had them before but that does not make it easier. Yesterday was a write off as I had to take some nasty medicine which has totally cleared my insides out. So here I am starved for over 24hrs waiting to go to the hospital to be poked about with cameras. I should be home today . So I will speak to you all soon. Sorry I really did not feel like blogging yesterday . Have a good day everyone, if you are at a loose end you could always go and have a poke around in your spare room or attic you might find something interesting, or not. But don’t poke an anthill or a bees nest 💜

Musicalmarch Day 4 Imogen Heap

Our Blog Sis Ritu at  But  I smile anyway has come up with another challenge for us this month Musicalmarch.

Ritu  said  : “Nothing too serious or tedious.Just a chance to share some songs! If you fancy posting a song for any reason this March, tag it #musicalmarch🎵 and link back to one of my posts so I can listen to your special songs too!

Link to Ritu’s Post
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Today is  day 4 of  Musicalmarch and  I never  made a  secret  of  the  fact  that  I  love  Imogen  Heap! When I  think  back  to  the  time  I  was in  hospital  after  breaking  my  back  ( the  second  time ) and  all I  can  say is  Immie saved  my  life. Her  music  and  talking  books  : Alex  Cross  books  written  by James Patterson, were  the  two  things  that  kept  me  sane. I  could only  lay  flat, I  could  not  move, I  was in  a  body  brace.

Also  when I  was learning  to  walk again  Immie’s  music  was  always  there  for  me. I  did  email Imogen  and  tell her  and  thank  her  and  she  wrote  me  back  a  beautiful and  kind  email back.

I have  put in a  few  excerpts from  when I  wrote  about   some  experiences  and  feeling  I  had  whilst in  hospital  with tracks  I  listen  too a  lot  at  that  time. The  last  track Life Line  was  written  later   but it  fits  the  way  the  male  nurse  I  talk about  helped me  and  the others on one of  the ward I was on.

8.30am ” Hello willow time to wash  dress you and change your bed”. I just smile I hate this , I understand it has to be done  and they do it well  but they talk over me about  their lives, have they have mistaken me for one of the old ladies in here  that cannot or will not comunicate . Shall I interupt their chatter or shall I…… there you go all clean and comfy now.  They walk away and I am alone again  time for Imogen I think !

12midday dinner arrives, Oh! I am in luck today  the young girl  is  here to help me. She is African  and so pretty she has a pretty nature too. She smiles and talks to me as she feeds  me , she listens to me , she really  does. I ask  her is she going to be a nurse , no  she  is going to be a pharmacist , shame she would  be a great nurse.

1pm  the cleaner is here  she is nice always smiling  but  she does not speak a word of English. She has  the most lovely eyes.

 

I ring for a bedpan  the nurse says ” surely  you have a catheter”   “yes” I said ” I do not need to pee”. It is  almost impossible  to use a bed pan when you are  laying  flat. This nurse  leaves  me on the bedpan  for over 20mins  then longer after I have rung  for her to help me.  I ask her  have I been , no she says walking away. ………. Why can’t I tell if I have been, why can’t I go, why can’t I feel . My stomach  really hurts, so does  my back hurt so much, I start to cry  then  the cloak of sleep surrounds  me again.

“Hello” , a new  voice, foreign , gentle sing song , what  nice eyes. “Are  you awake willow”   I am tempted  to not answer  but politeness gets the best of  me. “I  am here to help  you, would  you mind if I  gave  you a bed bath” I hesitate  because it does not seem right, a young  man asking me if I would  like a bed bath.  However I have not  had a good wash  let alone a bed bath since I was admitted, he is also  offering to change  my  pyjamas  and  the bed.  So far I have had a lick and  a promise and I am longing to feel fresh again.

What a change  from the usual  begrudging  treatment I had received so far. I was bathed put in clean pyjamas and in a freshly  changed bed I was exhausted  but comfortable. The young  nurse  told  me  he had  been at  the hospital  for about a year. His  kindness and respect made  me feel safe and at no time threatened.

Over  the next  week I learnt  a lot  about him,  he had  been in the French Foreign Legion, a Gendarme and now a Nurse. He used  to come into our ward  and chat  when he had  the time  and sometimes  if he was not too busy  he would  have a cup of  tea  with us.  More  than once when I was feeling really  low  he would make  me a bird or a flower  with paper. He was an extremely talented  and kind  young  man who lived life to the full and who was not afraid to put himself out to help others. He  made my life bearable I missed him when I was moved to yet another ward!

So where ever  you are, dear young french  male nurse, I want to let you know  you helpped  me  through a terrifying lonely time. Your large  and  small acts of kindness helped me through. So thank  you nurse  you made a difference.

 

Just Jot It January: Hospital

Today is  day  13 of  LindaGHill‘s Just Jot it  January.

Rules  and Pingback here 

The Just Jot It January 13th prompt, brought to you by Charlene Bullard of FaithtoRaiseNate.com, is: “Hospital.” Use it any way you’re inspired to. And make sure you stop by and say hi to Charlene as well! Here’s her blog:http://faithtoraisenate.com/ 

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#jusjojan

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A Day in Hospital  after I  broke  my  back  for  the  second  time  January 2009

In and out of sleep, it is very confusing. There is no rest really  the pain does not let up  and it is only  when the drugs  are administered  that I drift off properly. Gwen is as ever calling for Audrey , the lady  next too me is dosing  and I feel so odd. My husband has  put some books on my Ipod  the only  trouble is  that I drift off mid story  and it is  so hard to rewind.

6am lights on and breakfast, it is easier to have toast I can eat that lying down, though I would like some porridge  but there is no one to help me …. so toast it is.  The lady next  to me tells  me how nice the porridge is… yes I bet it is.   Time  for blood pressure and temperature, “have you passed a motion willow” “No  not yet” I reply. “we can give you some medicine  for that” the nurse says ………….. they can give medicine for everything but can they make  me walk. I drift off again.

8.30am “Hello willow time to wash  dress you and change your bed”. I just smile,I hate this, I understand it has to be done  and they do it well  but they talk over me about  their lives, have they have mistaken me for one of the old ladies in here  that cannot or will not communicate . Shall I interrupt their chatter or shall I…… there you go all clean and comfy now.  They walk away and I am alone again  time for Imogen I think !

My head is so messed up where the hell am I … oh! God I can’t  move , help, help!

“Hello Willow I am just doing your blood pressure , it is high are you okay? ”  I look at the nurse  and I try  to say I am scared I keep having bad dreams and I feel so trapped in this body brace. What I do say is “I am okay  just having strange  dreams, do you know when  my operation will be ?” No  she shakes her head.

She doesn’t  know, I watch her walk off and I am slipping off again, Imogen is singing in my head

10.am  The  lady  comes round with the hot  drink, I have coffee in  a beaker  with a straw , it tastes funny but it the only way to get a drink.

…………. “hi ” It is a doctor  now, ” what are you listening to?” I am about to tell him  but he is asking me more questions , it is so hard to concentrate but I do my best.

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12midday dinner arrives, Oh! I am in luck today  the young girl  is  here to help me. She is African  and so pretty she has a pretty nature too. She smiles and talks to me as she feeds  me, she listens to me, she really  does. I ask  her is she going to be a nurse , no  she  is going to be a pharmacist, shame she would  be a great nurse.

1pm  the cleaner is here  she is nice always smiling  but  she does not speak a word of English. She has  the most lovely eyes.

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“Hello Willow  how was your morning ” it is  my husband  he is here  to help  me through the afternoon, trouble is  I keep slipping in and out of sleep. Why will they not operate  I will feel safer, stronger, better  after they have. My husband talks  and I listen, he tells me how cold it is , how bad  the snow is. I want to be awake  but I just keep slipping away.

3pm the tea lady again  she gives  me a beaker of coffee and my husband  a cup of tea. The lady in the  next bed  had has two biscuits.

6pm dinner arrives, my husband helps  me, he is getting good at  this.

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He stays  till about 7.30pm I urge  him to go home and rest.

I ring for a bedpan  the nurse says ” surely  you have a catheter”   “yes” I said ” I do not need to pee”. It is  almost impossible  to use a bed pan when you are  laying  flat. This nurse  leaves  me on the bedpan  for over 20mins  then longer after I have rung  for her to help me.  I ask her  have I been, no she says walking away. ………. Why can’t I tell if I have been, why can’t I go, why can’t I feel . My stomach  really hurts, so does  my back I start to cry  then  the cloak of sleep surrounds  me again.

 

 

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11.30pm  I hear  the nurses starting  the drugs round  the night shift  must be here , they are so noisy, blood pressure, temperature , pulse, tablets. Straighten the bed. Lights out ..not bad  tonight it is midnight. Let me get these headphones  back in  shut  the ward out.

If We Were Having Coffee – Mar. 08/2015 Guest Post

Can I have Some Toast, Please?

Paul your Barista

Paul your Barista

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul, I’ll be your barista today and I’m happy to be here once again. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Willow has plumped the cushions and started a cozy fire so we can warm ourselves while we have a cuppa and chat. As usual, I’d be pleased to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy our world-wide readership. Also available is a large selection of spirits for addition to your cuppa or in its place. We can relax while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

Well, this week has been busy for me. A week ago Friday, I had numerous appointments at the General Hospital in preparation for an operation on Wednesday. All the appts were in the same module – PAU, Pre-Admissions Unit – and included a pharma review, paperwork with a surgical nurse, and a meeting with an anesthesiologist. They were all quite upbeat and positive and I was surprised when I told the anesthesiologist that I would arrange an extra dialysis appt for Tuesday night so as to be prepared for the operation and he replied: “You can do that?” Oh yeah. I also found out that I have shrunk and inch and a half – I used to be 6’ 3 1⁄2” and am now 6’ 2”. Drats! The things you learn. The operation itself is to correct a problem created by kidney failure. Healthy kidneys  are involved in regulating the parathyroid glands, which in turn produce a hormone that balances calcium and phosphates in the body. These in turn affect bone density, muscle strength, joint function, heart rate, and nerve function, amongst others. Because my kidneys are not working properly, they are not regulating the parathyroid glands, which are running amuck and allowing serious imbalance of calcium and phosphates. To fix this it is necessary to remove the majority of the parathyroids (there are typically 4 but may be less and occasionally may be more – my doctor said she’s seen up to 11). They are little fellas about 6 mms long and 2-3 mms wide, shaped like lentil seeds and they are clustered around the thyroid gland in the neck.

Would you like another cuppa? Perhaps a sweet? Anyway, I was told to be at Day Surgery at 12:15 on Wednesday, so there I was with my humble bag of clothes and toiletries and a case of nerves. I’ve had small surgeries here before but there is always a sense of falling down a big hole with no idea what’s on the other side. Yeaaa Haw! I actually arrived about 20 minutes early and as soon as I walked in and registered, the nurse called my name. She took me to a prep area where I had to strip naked (for an operation on my neck?) and put on the silly hospital gown. I met with my doctor who reassured me and then off we went. Chats with a few doctors and nurses outside the operating room on my gurney and then wheeled into the scary room itself. More polished stainless and chrome instruments hanging from every piece of wall and ceiling and that silly little narrow table that doesn’t even support your shoulders, let alone arms. You’d think they’d be able to afford a wider table, wouldn’t you? And about 8 people all gowned and masked and standing waiting to do their special part. They all introduced themselves, but those names never even made it to my short term memory. The very cost of having all this sitting here waiting for me is mind-boggling. Then they couldn’t find the doctor, but she was along in a minute or so. A couple of breaths through an oxygen mask and the anesthetic started through the intravenous line and I woke up in recovery.

Another cuppa? Perhaps something a bit stronger? So, I was starving and ugly and complaining. After a bit they rolled me up to my room and I was still complaining about being hungry – remember I wasn’t  permitted to eat since the day before and it was after 6 pm when I arrived at my room. The nurse was vey kind and brought me a boxed lunch – a sandwich and juice and pudding. Not much. As she was delivering that my room mate’s daughter brought him in a McDonald’s meal and carried out his untouched prepared supper. I called the nurse and told her that I’d eat his supper too if it was OK and so she carried it back in, along with his snack of a sandwich which he hadn’t touched. Ha! Now I had two sandwiches and a full meal and all the trimmings – two teas, two salads, soup and lots more. A veritable feast. I dug in while the nurse watched and kept saying – “Be careful of nausea.” No nausea here – ha! After polishing that off and having my pain killer, I asked for some toast and jam and then I slept like a log. The next morning after breakfast and toast, I did a survey of the damage and found a scar about 3 inches long at the base of my throat and another small scar in my right forearm where the doctor had re-inserted one of the parathyroid glands so it could do its business at a much lesser rate. This placement also allowed future adjustments of the gland size if it grew too big. There will be no mark or evidence of its position once the incision is healed. Well, now it was time to start planning my exit strategy. The ENT (Ear, Nose Throat) Docs said I would have to stay until the calcium/phosphate balance was re- established. But, they were assigning that responsibility to my kidney doctor. So, I saw my kidney doctor and she said I would have to stay until after my Friday night dialysis– which would then be the weekend and no chance of escape. So I argued with her that I did not want to stay any longer than necessary and she agreed to move my dialysis to Friday morning and then do an assessment and let me go if all was OK. So, I got the ENT docs back and told them the plan and wanted to know if they had any reason why I should stay longer than Friday. They hummed and hawed but decided it would be OK and wrote my discharge papers contingent on an OK by the kidney doc. I celebrated with some toast, jam and tea.

Friday Dialysis (yes, I’ve let my beard and hair grow –non-corporate length) My kidney doc saw me passing in the hall at one point as I arranged all this and wanted to know what I was doing. I just put my finger to my lips and went “Shhh!” She laughed. Dialysis Friday morning went like a charm and after the blood tests were analyzed, they agreed to let me go. I had some toast and jam then they gave me a prescription for pain killers but there is no pain – just a slight itchiness – so I didn’t get it filled. I was told that the stitches were of the dissolving type and I just had to remove the steri-strips over the incisions after a week. Already I feel stronger and am walking easier. Hopefully this will continue to improve. It seems like the week has flown past as I sit here writing this now. I hope that your week went well but less complicated than mine. Time for some toast and tea. Ha!

That’s about all we have room for this week, so it’s time to settle in with another cuppa and watch the fire. Sweets anyone? Please join me in thanking Willow for her invitation to tea. We are all honored that you dropped by today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. Willow is over there serving her guests and chatting it up. Let’s go see how she is today. Have a great week. We look forward to seeing you back here for sweets and beverages of your choice again next week.

Photo by Bruno Guay – Nurse Extraordinaire

And of course  the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time  Monster  and Gene’O’s

A little tenderness: Part 6

The ‘pain control  nurse’  had  been and chaned  my  dosage …. up  as usual. The  trouble is  the pain  is no  different  but  I just seem to find it more and more difficult to concentrate. I was drfting off now  ………

“Hello” , a new  voice, foreign , gentle sing song , what  nice eyes. “Are  you awake willow”   I am tempted  to not asnwer  but politeness gets the best of  me. “I  am here to help  you, would  you mind if I  gave  you a bedbath” I hesitate  because it does not seem right, a young  man asking me if I would  like a bed bath.  However I have not  had a good wash  let alone a bed bath since I was admitted, he is also  offering to change  my  pyjamas  and  the bed.  So far I have had a lick and  a promise and I am longing to feel fresh again.

What a change  from the usual  begruding  treatment I had received so far. I was bathed put in clean pyjamas and in a freshly  changed bed I was exhausted  but comfortable. The young  nurse  told  me  he had  been at  the hospital  for about a year. His  kindness and respect made  me feel safe and at no time threatened.

Over  the next  week I learnt  a lot  about him,  he had  been in the French Foreign Legion, a Gendarme and now a Nurse. He used  to come into our ward  and chat  when he had  the time  and sometimes  if he was not too busy  he would  have a cup of  tea  with us.  More  than once when I was feeling really  low  he would make  me a bird or a flower  with paper. He was an exstremely talented  and kind  young  man who lived life to the full and who was not afraid to put himself out to help others. He  made my life bearable I missed him when I was moved to yet another ward!

So where ever  you are, dear young french  male nurse, I want to let you know  you helpped  me  through a terrifying lonely time.  I often listened to Alanis Morrisette and Thank You at that  time, and  the dreamlike video shows how exposed and out there I felt. Small acts of kindness helped me through. So thank  you nurse  you made a difference.

BTW  that is just a random photo  the nurse I met  was much  more handsome!!

 

A little Tenderness Part 5

It is  dark and they are coming to get me ………. I hear the footsteps in my  ears , then a gun shot. BANG! Oh! help  my eyes  fly open  and I am in bed on the ward. The  footsteps  and the gun  shot  come  from  my Ipod and the book I am listening to. I had dozed off again. I am so stiff if only I could turn over  but as ever I am trapped in this brace.

My husband  had downloaded some   James Patterson, books on to  my  Ipod and mostly I am enjoying them just  every so often I loose  my hold on reality  and it all turns into a nightmare. I am not sure of the time, it all regimented in here but also very easy to loose all sense of time.

When  did I get  here  which  ward am I on, I can’t  hear Gwen calling  for Angela. Think  willow, think where am I  did I move……… Yes I  did  that Nurse upset  me, the one with the funny name she really  stressed  me out.

I get  so upset and I cry easily, I am not like  that.  I do not  cry at the drop of a hat. I try hard  not to but it just happens. When  is  my  operation, no one will tell me , I wonder why !

The story  is  getting  very scary  again, this man has is stalking Detective Cross and his family  they are all in  danger, am I in danger .  I just wish I knew which ward I am in  and  where I am.

Will I run free, OH! God  will I ever walk again…………………….

 

A Little Tenderness: part 3

In and out of sleep , it is very confusing. There is no rest really  the pain does not let up  and it is only  when the drugs  are administered  that I drift off properly. Gwen is as ever calling for Audrey , the lady  next too me is dosing  and I feel so odd. My husband has  put some books on my Ipod  the only  trouble is  that I drift off mid story  and it is  so hard to rewind.

6am lights on and breakfast, it is easier  to have toast I can eat that lying down, though I would like some porridge  but there is no one to help me …. so toast it is.  The lady next  to me tells  me how nice the porridge is… yes I bet it is.   Time  for blood pressure and temperature , ” have you passed a motion willow?”  “No  not yet” I reply. “we can give you some medicine  for that ” the nurse says ………….. they can give medicine for everything but can they make  me walk. I drift off again.

8.30am ” Hello willow time to wash  dress you and change your bed”. I just smile I hate this , I understand it has to be done  and they do it well  but they talk over me about  their lives, have they have mistaken me for one of the old ladies in here  that cannot or will not comunicate . Shall I interupt their chatter or shall I…… there you go all clean and comfy now.  They walk away and I am alone again  time for Imogen I think !

My head is so messed up where the hell am I … oh! God I can’t  move , help, help!

“Hello Willow I am just doing your blood pressure , it is high are you okay? ”  I look at the nurse  and I try  to say I am scared I keep having bad dreams and I feel so trapped in this body brace. What I do say is “I am okay  just having strange  dreams, do you know when  my operation will be ?” No  she shakes her head.

She doesn’t  know , I watch her walk off and I am slipping off again, Imogen is singing in my head

10.am  The  lady  comes round with the hot  drink, I have coffee in  a beaker  with a straw , it tastes funny but it the only way to get a drink.

…………. “hi ” It is a doctor  now, ” what are you listening to?” I am about to tell him  but he is asking me more questions , it is so hard to concentrate but I do my best.

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12midday dinner arrives, Oh! I am in luck today  the young girl  is  here to help me. She is African  and so pretty she has a pretty nature too. She smiles and talks to me as she feeds  me , she listens to me , she really  does. I ask  her is she going to be a nurse , no  she  is going to be a pharmasist , shame she would  be a great nurse.

1pm  the cleaner is here  she is nice always smiling  but  she does not speak a word of English. She has  the most lovely eyes.

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“Hello Willow  how was your morning ” it is  my husband  he is here  to help  me through the afternoon, trouble is  I keep slipping in and out of sleep. Why will they not operate  I will feel safer, stronger, better  after they have. My husband talks  and I listen, he tells me how cold it is , how bad  the snow is. I want to be awake  but I just keep slipping away.

3pm the tea lady again  she gives  me a beaker with a straw of coffee and my husband  a cup of tea for  my husband. The lady in the  next bed  had has two biscuits.

6pm dinner arrives, my husband helps  me, he is getting good at  this.

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He stays  till about 7.30pm I urge  him to go home and rest.

I ring for a bedpan  the nurse says ” surely  you have a catheter”   “yes” I said ” I do not need to pee”. It is  almost impossible  to use a bed pan when you are  laying  flat. This nurse  leaves  me on the bedpan  for over 20mins  then longer after I have rung  for her to help me.  I ask her  have I been , no she says walking away. ………. Why can’t I tell if I have been, why can’t I go, why can’t I feel . My stomach  really hurts, so does  my back hurt so much, I start to cry  then  the cloak of sleep surounds  me again.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11.30pm  I hear  the nurses starting  the drugs round  the night shift  must be here , they are so noisy, blood pressure, temperature , pluse, tablets. Straighten the bed. Lights out ..not bad  tonight it is middnignt. Let me get these headphones  back in  shut  the ward out. …………………………

A Little Tenderness : part 2

“Is  that a huge black slug or a nasty black  worm ” I asked  my eldest son . He was sitting next to  my bed and holding my hand, ” where  mum ” he asked on a laugh! “Up there I said over  the clock, I don’t like it , it keeps  moving” Quizical  look and  and gentle reassuring ” No mum I think you are tripping again. You know it is me, not you that does weird !”

He was right I do not not do weird I was the sensible Mum here. I was the adult ( even though he was 36yrs at the time,  40yrs  now ).  He was right though I was finding it so hard to hold things together my head was buzzing and my back hurt so much . I had a catheter which was good  but I was totally constipated all the time. My body  seemed to have gone totally  haywire. My brain addled with painkillers  was panicking , will I ever walk again, will I even stand up will I ever  manage to go to the toilet again……… sorry  but base as that is that was what I  was panicking about, that  and what was the black slug/worm doing on top of the clock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Dr , no sorry  he is a mister, a surgeon , is standing at  the bottom of my  bed again with all his minions , a sea of faces , international faces.  I wish I knew  when they will operate , perhaps  they have forgotten  what  they said  they would do. I will ask  him again. Mr …….  can  you tell me exactly  what  you are going to do.  ” I told  you yesterday  do you rally think I have nothing better  to do with my time than  to tell you again today? “OH! his bark is as bad as his bite, er  no I suppose not. Oh! well I give up , lets put my Ipod on and loose myself in a story.

“Willow” , a hand  on  my shoulder, “Willow sorry to wake  you , ” Oh! it is that really nice registar Mr … ” Willow I am sorry Mr … is very brisk he doesn’t mean anything by his way.  He just thinks it is as easy for everyone to understand  what he is doing, as it is for him! ” He is smiling at me now and explaining again what they are going to do  but they have to wait  for the kit to arrive  and the swelling to go down. Why am I so scared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bad weather

bad weather

OH! Another Dr  what now ? Hello, OH! big smile, it is no d0ctor it is my husband . He has got here through the snow again. He has bought me a rasberry mousse , thank you  so much. I have fallen asleep again then the pain wakes me up . Time  for oramorph  then back to sleep again.

My patient  husband  he used struggle in to visit me every day, and we were in the throws of one of our really bad winter spells snow and ice everywhere.  But  he percivered .

The  weather was bad  and lots of old ladies ( and men no doubt  but I did not see too many of them.) were addmitted  at regular intivals of the day and night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Angela , Angela where is Angela ? That was a question that I was going to get  very used to. It would  be asked  morning , noon and night  by Gwen. Angela  arrived everyday  at 2pm  and she stayed until 8pm at night.She  was as quiet  as a mouse and she was always smiling . It did not matter whether she was there or not  the question  was asked every few minutes.

I remember there were four of us in the ward  and we were all tired , there were Mavis  and Joan oposite me  and Barbara beside me . It was 2am and none of us could sleep because Gwen was calling for Angela .  As Gwen asked for the where abouts of Angela  for the 9o99th time we all chorused “Shut up Gwen” We were all amazed when she did . We all relaxed , it is amazing how it grates on the nerves  to hear someone  in true distress appealing for someone , not knowing if there are there or not.   We all enjoyed 10mins of total silence … well almost silence the night staff were as usual chatting about their exciting lives  giggling and being generally  noisy.  But it was bliss.

Angela , Angela where is Angela ? what could  we do  we all just bust out laughing……………… what are those tears , yes I am so tired . Angela , Angela where is Angela ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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