Ronovan Writes Décima Poetry Challenge Prompt No. 35: (KNOCK) in the A rhyme line.

Ronovan Writes Decima Challenge Image

Ronovan says : You may, if you wish, make some kind of link between the Haiku Challenge prompt of (CURL and Paw). and this Décima Challenge of KNOCK in the A rhyme line. This means you could write a haiku post using the prompt words. Then do a Décima post using this week’s prompt uniting the two with a common message.

The 2 CHALLENGES are SEPARATE but CAN BE combined if YOU CHOOSE to do so.

Ruby. A Décima

© willowdot21

Gently she gives my elbow a knock.
Her eyes full of love “I need you”
I smile back needing her too.
She is my foundation and rock.
Tells the time better than a clock.
When I’m well she’s out running free
When I’m not well she clings to me
Somehow she knows just what to do.
She’ll always guide me good and true.
Ruby is my lifesaving prop.

This is part of Ronovanwrite’s Décima Challenge.

Ronovan Writes #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge 335 CURL and Paw.

The Challenge Words!

CURL and Paw.

She knows how I feel
Her body curled round my feet
A paw touches me.

This is part of Ronovanwrite’s Weekly Haiku Challenge.

Book 2. Bananas. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

“Ican’tsee,Ican’tsee” scritches Squeezy.  Two muttwits, all earflaps and furry bodies, obscuring the High Street, handlebars, all else “Ican’tcontrol–“

Paddles is in a state of shock snifz yu–

Don’t move! barks Bananas 

..Kama, Karma, Karmaaa…

Wot yu doing? Squeezy’s gotta squeeze the handlebars Paddles can’t eyeball anything neither, the little Pug being all wrapped ‘round his large snout.

“arhhhh!” Squeezy scritches, trying to move her handpaw from the control but stuck under the weight of both fourlegs.

Don’t move Bananas yaps into Paddle’s thick earflap until…

The mowta whizzes down the High Street, completely out of control, flashing past Tuffy and GitOrrf! in a blur of sniffy fourlegs, whinny skinny roundlegs and Kama, Karmaaa…

Woaa, is that Paddles hanging off the front? wonders GitOrrf!

Nah, mate Tuffy corrects, bit of a sausage hanging from chops just a cool Bananas, init!

At a speed never intended for the mowta, all control is lost, thanks to thems pink and yellow fluffy lumps preventing Squeezy from doing wot she needs to do with handpaws on handlebars.  The entrance to Herdwick pooping park rushing up to meet thems.

Jump! yelps Bananas.

Wot?

Jump, yer fluffy muttwit and both fourlegs bail out, leaving Squeezy with a perfect view of the pooping park gates sweeping by either side. Loss of weight – coz Paddles is a right heavy four – causes the mowta to yaw this way and that, throwing the accordion high into the air.  It crashes down in a squeezy, wheezy whine onto the grass, right beside Nutz.

Erh, snifz yu he barks at the wheezing thing.

Outside Costa, wotz actually nicely placed inside Herdwick pooping park, Squeezy almost manages to get the mowta under control before it gently crunches into a table and umbrella.  The umbrella tips over and drapes Squeezy in bold Costa logos.

..if your colours were lyk my dreams…red, go– 

Boy George cuts out.  Squeezy struggles from under Costa logos and emerges into daylight.

“sorry,MissusLavinka” Arjom scritches, wobbling up to help her off the mowta.

“sorry,MissusLavinka” Oskar scritches, the legless, furless dumb scratch held in both handpaws.

Snifz yu barks Nutz at the accordion

Flaplegs, init adds Boltz, unfazed by an accordion flying into the park and landing on the grass right before his paws.

Yeah, yor right Nutz gives it one final snifz and I think it’s a gonna, d’yu know wot I’m sayin‘, bruv?  

Usual same old, same old. 

Lavinka gets Paddles ready for his guest appearance to the paying masses in the big city.  She combs his fur over and over until static makes it stand on end in a blob of electric fuzz. She ties a Union Jack bandana ‘round his big head and completes the look with the gold-tinted aviators.

‘cept that, instead of the same old neon pink fuzz, Paddles is now cream coloured.  Natural Chow Chow cream coloured.

“thereweare,mypatriotic,puffy-liondoggy” she takes his big furry snout between both handpaws and plonks a kiss on the tip of his black snout, all TLC.

Trouble is, Paddles don’t appreciate all the fuss.  Coz all night long, Squeezy’s been washing all that pink out of him in the bath.  He snifz of two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

He wants to snifz his brekkers – but can’t.

Brekkers ain’t brekkers if yu don’t snifz it proper

That’s not gonna happen for a few days yet, not til his natural oils restore him to the handsome Chow Chow lyk wot he normally is.

And off they whine, on the mowta, towards West Pid. town center.

Dessert loving in your eyes all the waaay

They reach the corner of the Vape Shop at the top of the High Street.

“sitstillandbehave,thistime” Squeezy slowly whines the mowta down the pavement.

Me, behave. Me?

“fourmilesperhour” Squeezy scritches and don’t dare go one MPH faster.

Two streetlegs regulars watch thems trundle past.

Sharp as a pin, wot yuz are barks Tuffy to Paddles as he crawls by.

How can a fluffy four be sharp as a pin, One Ear? quizzes GitOrrf! between chomps of Greggs best brekkers bacon butty.

Tuffy, also known by the intimates as One Ear, sighs at his streetlegs mate don’t yu know nothink?

Sure, I know nothink GitOrrf! replies, a bit affronted by such snouty behaviour before a proper brekkers knows everything there is to know about nothink, init? not wanting to appear without intellectuals in front of Tuffy nothink I don’t knows about nothink!

The two streetlegs eyeballs the mowta whine down the High Street and slowly turn into Short Cut.

Let’s go ask Paddles sez Tuffy and see if he knows anything about nothink and off they trot.  GitOrrf! carrying a sausage roll wot Paddles was promised – whenever. 

Bananas ain’t getting any peanut butter today – or any other day, judging by all the scritching going on. She takes shelter under the kitchen table.

“could’vehurtsomeone,withthatstunt” packmom scritches at her hindlegs pups, slamming brekkers on the table. 

No noise from the pups.

“newrules” packmom continues “one,Bananasstayonthelead,atalltimes”

Pups remain noiseless.

Hold on a tic

“two,Bananasdon’tgonearotheranimals”

Pups still noiseless.

Wot the – hold on a tic

“andonlyLiisawalksBananas” packmom continues, relentless.

Now hold on– ah, hmmm, that’ll work

 “don’twannawalkthedog” scritches Liisa, stomping her footpaw right beside the Pug’s earflap 

Nah, corss yu do

“don’tevenlikedogs” scritches Liisa, stamping her footpaw again.

Yah, corss yu do

“that’stherules,orthedoggoes”

Lol!

Outside, on Drakefield Road as it happens, Liisa wobbles along with her brothers and it takes no more than one short squirtz before [rule # one] Bananas is off the lead. 

Oi, cool Bananas!

Snifz yu, Giblets 

And [rule # two] Bananas is near other animals – wot that saucy muttwit Giblets is, anyways.

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz the accordion stretches this way and that.  Paddles sits on his tartan blanket, wearing his Union Jack bib and gold-tinted specs.  

To me – not at me! he barks at pedestrians throwing little metal bits – wotz being thrown more than normal.

Snifz yu, Paddles yaps Bananas, standing in front of him, her doughnut-curled tail wagging cheerily.

Yeah, right he grunts back, refusing to eyeball her. 

Yor not pink, anymore Bananas snifz at him yor normal, nows

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz

Yeah, thanks for that Bananas – or should I bark ‘cool’ Bananas – wot fourlegs are calling yuz for saving the mowta, wot don’t need saving

Sure thing, anytime

Right! And thanks for getting rid of the pink furs, wot don’t need unpinking

Corss, at yor service

Yeah, and biggest thanks is reserved for ‘thems’ Paddles stands up and sticks his big, natural-coloured fluffy butt into Bananas flat snout THEMS! giving it the aggressive wot don’t need glittering!

From beneath his natural cream coloured coat emerge a small yet solid pair of furry plum bobs – all lovingly spray-painted in red, white and blue glitter. 

Yeah thems. Thanks a bundle Paddles barks cheerlessly. Another metal bit is thrown at him, bouncing off his butt and landing on the tartan blanket.

“bringinginthemoneeey” Squeezy sing-song scritches, squeezing her accordion.

Nice Bananas yaps, mesmerized.

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz 

Head over to the Usual Muttwits now

Book 2 Bananas. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

..yu string along…yu string along…Karma, Karma, ka…

“purple,orpink,orgreen,or-“ Squeezy is scritching to herself “or…” she stops the motor unexpectedly and Paddles is nearly thrown over the handlebars “red,whiteandblue,yes!YES!”

Wot? Paddles turns his head and gives her the eyeball.

“ohPaddles,whataluckydoggy” she rubs his shaggy head “verypatriotic,veryBritish,veryglitterspray”

Paddles definitely don’t lyk the sound of this, his black tongue hanging from his chops in consternation.

Erh, wot? he grunts again, nows feeling tight down under.

“UnionandJack,ofcourse” Squeezy scritches in delight

“thinkofallthemoney-frompatrioticBrexiteers!”

Paddle’s got no idea who Union and Jack are and can’t snifz thems anywheres, but he sure knows where Squeezy wants to start glitter spraying. Right on his no go area – no go for anyone except him. Wot often takes some finding coz of all thems Chow Chow butt furs in between, that is.  

Before he can start complaining the mowta whines into the drive thru area of Mackers.  All thoughts of patriotic plumb bobs, Union and Jack are instantly forgotten in the noshing moment.

Big Mac, extra-large, corss, plus upsize fries he barks and don’t go easy on the cheese

Wot he actually gets is chicken niblets.  He chomps his way through most of thems before the mowta whines out of the drive-thru.

“tomorrow,unionandjack” Squeezy scritches a promise ruffling Paddle’s earflaps “tomorrow,Ipromise”

As it happens, Bananas is a very practical fourlegs.  Being a Pug, wotz a bit flat in the black snout and a bit short in the yellow four legs, she appreciates that she can’t submit the mowta all by herself.  Wot she needs is Paddle’s help, too.

Such thoughts are bouncing ‘round between her black earflaps the next morning – snifz of colourful ideas wotz only goal is to help out Paddles and stop thems plum bobs from getting glittered. She don’t know how, but she sure knows the mowta’s the problem and the solution, all mixed up in the same nosh bowl. There’s gotta be a way.

Meanwhile Oskar’s got his handpaws in the peanut butter, again.  And he ain’t giving any to Bananas.

Wot about yor four-legged friend? she yaps at him.

The hindlegs pup sticks a sticky handpaw at her snout and she starts licking at it.

That’s the spirit

Nows, everyone knows that peanut butter is not good for fourlegs – coz there ain’t never enough of the stuff.  Not for hindlegs nor fourlegs.  But wot there is must be shared.

Oskar puts the jar on the floor under the table where Oskar’s packmom won’t eyeball it.  Together they stick handpaws and fourlegs’ paws into the same jar, jostling for room to get at the sniffy nosh. Bananas, being quicker, gets both front paws into the jar, wedging herself tight, preventing Oskar–

Ahh the solution to the mowta problem that’s it!

We need to get out and abouts she starts yapping soon as the peanut butter’s all licked and sorted.

Oskar, who’s waiting his second brekkers – his first brekkers being gobs of peanut butter under the kitchen table – ain’t going along with that.

“afterbreakfast” he scritches, coz small hindlegs pups know exactly wot small fourlegs are yapping on abouts.

Don’t think so Oskar, we gotta go save some plum bobs before they go unsavable

“afterbreakfast” 

Funny thing is, today is Arjom’s football practice.  He wobbles out of his bedroom wearing his footers and leaving dried muddy flakes everywhere.

“hurryup,Oskar” he scritches at his brother.

Sitting room door opens and out wobbles packmom “whatdidIsay?Nobootsinthehouse!” and immediately eyeballs Oskar and Bananas under the kitchen table.  Luckily the jar is hidden. But ain’t nothing hidden about the great big dollop of peanut butter stuck on the end of Bananas flat snout.

“rightthen” in that low-sounding packmom scritch wot everyone knows means trouble “onyourcushion,you” she scoops up Bananas and dunks him onto his favorite cushion, none too gently.  Wot also reveals the empty peanut butter jar under the table.

Oh-oh

“nowonderthisdog’sfat” packmom shrieks “nobreakfastforyou,miss”

Hold on a tic – ain’t me, were him eyeballing Oskar, the accused snifz out his handpaws, go on, snifz ‘ems!

 At the football ground laters, a small bit of Herdwick pooping park wotz cordoned off and completely free of poop, Bananas sits on the grass with Oskar carefully sniffing at a pack of hindlegs pups wobbling about and having too much fun.  Between thems a small scratch is being kicked all over the place – which is only right, coz all scratch need a good kicking. ‘cept this scratch is round, don’t have no legs or fur, and only snifz of grass.  But it’s definitely a scratch coz it’s dumb as any other scratch – wotz got all its legs and fur.

“gooooooal!” scritches Arjom, but misses – coz the scratch is too dumb to roll where it’s supposed to roll.

Beyond the poopless grass, Bananas keeps her flat snout sniffing towards the direction of Short Cut.  Her eyeballs see everything hazy – coz fourlegs are a bit shortsighted –  but her snout makes all thems sniffy colours stand out crystal clear.  Her chops start watering from thems orange-sniffy colours of the nosh shops in the High Street, wotz a good enough reason to trot over there right now – especially as she’s missed brekkers.  But today she’s waiting for a very particular snifz and thems scritchy sounds of Boy George.

..if I listen to yor lies, would yu saaay…I’m a man without conviiiction…

Squeezy mowtas out of Hazlehurst Road and whines towards Short Cut.  Paddles in front, taking most of the space – massive pink and fluffy. Squeezy can hardly get her handpaws ‘round his fat furry butt to work the controls.

“ouf,Paddles,youbiglump” Squeezy scritches, eyeballing the pavement ahead between his thick furry earflaps.

Yeah right, sez she Paddles pants, little black tongue lolling and enjoying the rush of air wotz cooling him nicely.

..how to sale a contradiiiction…

The whiny mowta steers towards the High Street.  

“today’stheday” Squeezy in a sing-song scritching “theBritishgetheirpatriotics – andPaddlesgetshisglitter!”

Squeezy sing-songs a lot of poop and he ain’t got no clue wot she’s scritching on abouts most of the time.  But today, right nows, he certainly understands all the sing-song and wotz behind it.

Wotz underneath it and behind it, to be specifical

“red,whiteandblue” Squeezy carries on, sniffing too dog-damn happy for Paddles’ liking.

As Hazlehurst Road reaches the corner of the High Street, it starts to dips down towards Herdwick pooping park at the other end.  Beyond that is the sniffy Thameslick, just sitting there.

Wotz often forgotten is that Westly Piddle High Street is on a shallow hill – but not too shallow.  Squeezy, being a bit of a show-off with her flashy mowta, neon pink Chow Chow, and Boy George vibes,

lyks to advertise to the whole town of pedestrians that she’s coming down the hill to busk to ‘ems.  And so, Squeezy squeezes her little handlebar and speeds up.

“weeeez” she scritches in delight as they hit the top of the High Street.

Weeeez barks Paddles, forgetting the future of his plum bobs in all the heres and nows.

Bananas ain’t forgetting, however.

Without further ado she’s up and trotting right across the poopless grass – wot she’s not allowed to – trotting between all the hindlegs pups – pausing for a little squirtz over the legless, furless scratch, wot it rightly deserves for being so round and dumb, lyk – and trots towards the exit of Herdwick pooping park and the High Street, beyond.

Wotz the rush, Bananas? Nutz and Boltz trot up to bump snoutz snifz y– but Bananas don’t stop for such polite affiliations.

No time, fellas, got an appointment with destiny she races on, leaving the Jack Russell brothers sniffing at a butt that ain’t there.

By the corner of the vape shop, where the pavement widens out for all thems nosh shops’ chairs and tables, Squeezy squeezes harder and the mowta starts picking up speed.

..loving would be eeeasy if your colours were lyk my dreeeams…

Coz the pavement is well paved and even, the skinny roundlegs on the mowta spin faster and the breeze blows stronger, sweeping back all the fluff from Paddle’s snout – turning him into a pink Chewbacca – ‘cept without the big teeth.

“sixmilesperhour!” scritches Squeezy “weeeez”

Weeeez barks Paddles.

Bananas paws are tiny and her short body makes trotting real tongue-wagging work.

But there ain’t nothing for it ‘cept to press onwards and upwards, weaving in and out of hindlegs, lampposts, and ducking under tables wot get inconveniently in the way.  The scritchy strains of Boy George getting louder all the time.

Tuffy and GitOrff! are hanging about outside Greggs, contemplating the regular brekkers menu wafting out the door in a wonderful orange snifz.

Is that a bird, is that a plane?

chuckles Tuffy, eyeballing the Pug shooting up the High Street or is it a banana?

Nah, mate, that’s a doggy on a charge GitOrrf! marvels, fried sausage and bacon momentarily forgotten as Bananas trots right past without so much as a snifz yuz muttwits grunt.

Down, down they fly.  The mowta not far short of warp speed. 

..and you used to be so sweet I heard you saaay…aay

They rush past Oxfam, the sour sniffy colours gone before Paddles can even appreciate thems.  His eyeballs are watering and he’s feeling all giddy.

This is the life, init? he howls, caught up in the rush.

“eightM-P-H!” scritches Squeezy “hittingthemax,weeeez”

Weeeez

Banana’s never trotted so dog-damned hard in her life, paws burning, tongue whipping all over her flat snout, spraying goo every which way. And the mowta is nows directly ahead, growing enormous.

Paaaadles, I’m comiiiing!

..when we cliiing, our love is stro-oong…

“ninemile-OUTTHEWAY!” Squeezy scritches at the Pug, panic slamming in, fate and destiny right in front of the speeding Mowta “OUTTHE–“

Weeeez–Bananas? WOTTHEFFF– 

Bananas shuts her eyes at the last moment, the Mowta filling her whole life. She jumps, paws flat out front and back, straight into Paddles.

SPLAT!

Book 2 Bananas.

Chapter 2 of Bananas coming to this Blog Monday

Visit Usual Muttwits at Westly Piddle.

Book 2 – Bananas Chapter One.

BANANAS

Welcome to another blisteringly cheerful day in Westley Piddle, all fourlegs noshing themselves silly. Including Bananas the happy yellow Pug, and Paddles the neon pink Chow Chow. Fourlegs all living the life. Hundred percent bang on perfect… and it ain’t even rainlicking!  

A particularly cheerful day in Westley Piddle, that unexpected little town on the Thameslick between Bisham and Cock Marsh. Hindlegs are up and wobbling about, scritching good mornings to everything and anything; scratch are lazily licking their murderous long scratchy paws and planning global domination; flaplegs are flapping ‘round abouts everywhere in a blitzkrieg of poop. Life as normal.

Fourlegs, not to be outdone in this struggle of cheerful bon hommie, add their daily morsel of intellectuals to the cacophony – 

Helloooo!

Shuddup mammal

Another day, same poop

And yuz can shuddup an’ all

Oi, trot over here and bark that!

All in all, it’s another particularly dogs-dinner day of unbearable cheerfulness. 

Paddles the overweight Chow Chow wears his cheerfulness beneath a neon pink-coloured fluffy hide.  Newly sprayed, his snout twitching in mild allergies, and getting last minute touches from Lavinka before his presentation to the pedestrians in the big city – West Pid. that is.  She combs his fur over and over til static makes it stand on end in a big electric pink fuzz. Lavinka then ties a Union Jack bandana ‘round his large neck, completing the look with a pair of gold-tinted aviator shades squashed over his small eyeholes. Paddles is transformed into a teddy-bear Elvis Presley, standing foursquare with black tongue clenched between teeth, quietly enduring this ritual of tender loving care.

I think I wanna vomit

“suchabigbeautiful,brightdoggy” scritches Lavinka the busker, known as Squeezy to the intimates – coz of the accordion she squeezes in and out, this way and that.  She grabs his snout in her handpaw and eyeballs him in his huge, frizzy face “rememberPaddles,pedestrianswholovedoggy,lovegivingmoney”

Gottit

Paddles is not sure wot money is but pedestrians sure love throwing little metal things at him when Squeezy starts some squeezy-stretchy action on the accordion and Paddles sits looking lyk a furry rockstar.

Can we go now?

Downstairs and ‘round back of the apartments, Paddles enjoys the first squirtz of the morning as Squeezy unplugs the mowta and growls it out of the lock-up into the early light of day.

That’s better Paddles lifts a fluffy pink rear leg and lets go a solid stream.

To be specific the mobility scooter don’t actually growl coz it’s electric.  Instead, it whines at a high-pitch wot makes Paddle’s short thick earflaps vibrate. 

“comeon,then” and Paddles hops into the space between Squeezy’s footpaws “andlet’sgiveitsomeBoyGeorge”

And off they whine towards West Pid. town center.

Dessert loving in yur eyes all the waaay

They whine off from the lock-up and turn onto the pavement of Hazlehurst Road.

..a man without conviiiic-tion

Odds and sods hindlegs are wobbling out the way of the trundling mowta scritching Boy George – Paddles pushing his pink frizzy face into the gentle wind.  The round hot ball, wotz only just been thrown up in the sky, reflecting off his gold-tinted shades.

…yor wicked words every daaay

Squeezy mowtas towards Short Cut, that stretch of pedestrians-only pavement where all the clothfurs shops are and wot only hindlegs are allowed to wobble about on; wotz a short cut between the High Street and Nelson Avenue.  

..Karma, karma, karma, karma, kar– 

The mowta stops whining. Boy George stops scritching. Paddles leaps off and starts sniffing the street.

‘don’tpooponthepavement,Paddles,pedestriansdon’tlikeit”

Squeezy unclips her accordion, sticking a large paint bucket on the pavement and unfolding the tartan blanket.  She sits on the upturned paint bucket and Paddles sits on the blanket.  Squeezy starts stretching some dog-damn awful wheezy noises and Paddles takes a deep breath.  Let the day begin. Let the pedestrians come and throw thems little metal things. 

“oneforyou” Oskar scritches softly at Bananas “andoneforme”

How abouts one for yu and two for me? Bananas the young fawn-coloured Pug sez to Oskar.

The little hindlegs boy is from Estonia – wot is somewhere just outside Westly Piddle, according to Bananas –sticking his spoon into the wonderfully-sniffy peanut butter and not quite decided who’s going to get the next mouthful.  Bananas lifts her flat snout to the spoon and opens her chops and decides it for him there and then.

That’ll be mine, I reckon she licks the contents off the spoon. The next spoonful follows the same route as the last – straight down her nosh hole.  

Bananas knows that nosh is never more than a snifz away from her chops in the Rebane houseden.  In fact she is one of the few fourlegs in all Westley Piddle wotz not constantly hungry – well, not constantly – nosh being always licked off spoon, handpaw, or from the floor. 

Liisa, Oskar’s older sister,  enjoys pickles and smoked fish – fishes are good for Bananas.

Then there’s Arjom, his older brother, wot enjoys cheeseburgers and fries – cheeseburgers are good for Bananas.

And, there’s packdad wot lyks all sorts of nosh but don’t lyk sticking it anywhere, ‘cept down his own little nosh hole.  This unnatural behaviour is a work in progress for Bananas.  Finally there’s packmommy who don’t lyk much of anything and who certainly don’t lyk sticking nosh down Bananas’ anytime. That’s also a WIP.  But, at least the three pups lyk sticking nosh down Bananas nosh hole and that’s a fine start.  All in all a sort of C+ houseden according to the fawn-coloured Pug, suggesting a lot of improvement room for canine welfare.

Bananas languidly burps don’t let that remaining peanut butter go to waste in the jar, Oskar – Oskar?

But Oskar is already wobbling out into the hallway and pulling on his footpaw covers along with his brother and sister.

Out?  We’re trotting out?

Bananas snifz the rising excitement of the three pups whilst eyeballs the cozy temptation of her favorite cushion good noshing also deserves good sleep straight afters, don’t it?

Before she can happily trot towards her cushion Arjom sweeps Bananas up in his handpaws “nicewalkies” he softly scritches in her black earflap “beforefeedingtime”

Can’t argue with that, s’pose Bananas licks her chops.  Even so she turns large black wistful eyeballs towards her cushion and the unfinished jar of peanut butter on the kitchen table. The front door opens. 

 Alright, let’s make it a short walkies before nosh then, please!

The door shuts in a clatter of footsteps.

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz the accordion stretches this way and that in endlessly awful noises.

Squeezy’s handpaws are stretching in and out in and out.  Paddles sits perfectly still behind his gold-tined shades, eyeballing wotz going on up and down Short Cut. The squeezy noises are plain horrid but the pedestrians must be loving it coz they keep throwing little metal things.

Not at me he snorts to me, on the tartan!

Snifz yu, Paddles Gitorrf! trots up and bumps snoutz.

Clear off, I’m performing

Oh! GitOrrf! sez well impressed but not clearing off.

The squeezy noises get louder and uglier.

Squeezy don’t lyk interruptions

Uh-huh

Wot comes between the artist and thems pedestrians GitOrrf! don’t know any pedestrians – perhaps they are bit lyk hindlegs or some or some kind of scratch who live in Short Cut. Wotever! all he can snifz are hindlegs wobbling about carrying paper bags full of nosh from the coffee shops.

Brekkers? suggests GitOrrf!, the sniffy paper bags reminding him he’s hungry, again.

Don’t be a muttwit, I’m working, init sighs Paddles but, if yu snifz any of thems sausage rolls then bring us some, know wot I mean?

Righty ho the thought of sausage rolls, wotz part of Greggs all day brekkers, compels GitOrrf! to stick one furry paw in front of the other and wander off following his snout towards his standard morning nosheries.  He is a Border Terrier after all with a snout fully trained to snifz out all  sorts of noshing potentials.

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz awful noises chase him up Short Cut.

A pedestrian stops wobbling, ohs and ahhs and throws a bit of metal at paddles.  

Not at me – to me, on the tartan!

Paddles snoutz the metal – there’s brekkers snifz rubbed onto it from the hindlegs handpaw.  He stands up, eyeballing Squeezy. She stops her squeezing, struggles up from the paint pot, stretches and wobbles over to the mowta.

Paddles licks his chops.

Squeezy returns with a plastic bag and lays out two bowls on the pavement.  One for biscuits and the other for waterlick.  Brekkers interlude.

Biscuits are good an’ all chomps Paddles, snout buried in his bowl but sausage rolls is waaay better dreamily sniffing Greggs up the High Street.

Squeezy squiiiz, squeezy, squiiiz 

Ffff! Here we go again!

As it happens, another pedestrian wotz wobbling along don’t lyk the squeezy squiiizy sounds, either.

“nonsense,nonsense,nonsense” the pedestrian scritches at Squeezy, waving a handpaw towards Paddles.

Ain’t me wotz doing the squeezings, izit!

“mydog!” scritches Squeezy “Icanpainthimpink,ifIwant,anycolourIwant,okay?”

“nonsense,nonsense,nonsense” the pedestrian scritches aggressively and making Paddles nervous.

Maybe this pedestrian needs a bit of submitting!  But it soon wobbles away and, wotz more, don’t even throw any metal bits.

nexttime,he’llhaveglitter-sprayedballs” scritches Squeezy after the pedestrian “that’sright,glittered!”

Glittered? Paddles turns towards Squeezy balls?

Visit Usual Muttwits

QUICK PINT DOWN AT THE PIG & FERRET PUB.

I not against small dog.  Many home have small dog – and in my home is small dog.  What to do? Estonia we like big dog.  Proper dog is Eesti Hagijas, you call Estonian Hound. Yes? What is not small dog, not big dog, but half a big dog.

With three childs, one wife and small house we must have small dog. Worse, small dog name Bananas.  Yes, stupid name I think.  Good Estonia name for dog is Mimmi, Tontu or Spartak, yes? Bananas only good name for yellow fruit.

What you mean by Bananas is small dog yellow also, huh?

Coming to this blog next week.

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