New Year , old problems.

Well here  we are  another year……….. I am sorry to say  yet again  no  special  magic  occurred  at  midnight. Famine,  Hunger, Pestilence  and  War  did  not  suddenly  dismount  and  say ” Hey Death  let’s  call a truce , lets  have  some  coffee  and cake  and  sort  this  poor  suffering  planet out! ” Did  they  hell!

Nothing  magical  happened  either  at Christmas  or  New Year. The  problems  I was eluding to  before  Christmas  did not  suddenly  disappear in a puff of  “joyous  goodwill  to men” Did they,  Bollocks!

No  there is still a  huge chasm of misunderstanding and raw  emotions   eating  me up from the inside out and I hate it, I hate  it  I bloody  hate it. I do not hate  anyone involved  but  the longer  things  go on  the more  the  feelings  and  rewriting  of  what  happened  grows within them. You  would  not  believe  what a petty incident  caused  all this  out pouring of  venom.  Yet  it  has  grown  and spread  like a cancer! I fear it is  becoming  incurable.

Both sides  are locked in their self rightfulness, any  attempts mediation  on my  part  are  met  with  anger  and mistrust  and I always come off  the worse!

So  there  you have it  Christmas  was stressful, I  did not  make  it any  better  because  I did not  want  to be away, but in  all honesty I tried  and it had  lots of  good points   and highs  but  the pain and worry  was ever present.

Now I stand  here at  the beginning  of a New Year  and I  feel flat, empty, desperate, bereft . I feel as if  everything  I so long awaited  has been stolen from me ………….. I could  go on and on  about  all the things  that are eating  me up believe  me  they  are legion!

Manners  stop  me, I do apologize for  going  on but I shall publish  and be damned. So Christmas Spirit  where  were  you ? New Year magic   where  have you been all my  life ……… eh eh ??

I also  have to apologies that  I got  so distressed  trying to wade  all your  wonderful  posts  and comments, I felt  I was drowning  so  I  have to admit to   hitting  the delete  button   but I will get through  them  as when I can in the reader. You  may  only  get  likes  and a short  comment   but I love  all your  work  everyone of  you  so please  forgive  me, for  moaning  and  not  answering  all your  posts!

Why  did I  pick  the video  of “Say Something? ” Because  they need to talk  and  I can’t  fix it . I love  them all  but  they all see that  as wrong……………………

 

 

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill. Thanks for tuning in and if you want to join, feel free to click on the link and start jotting!

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