STOP IT.

 

http://jmbaumgart.com/assets/dermatillomania.jpg

I have a guilty secret I have written about it here   I think it is called   Dermatillomania .

 

The  more I try to stop the habit the  more it seems to plague  me.

I scratch my  back and  my shoulders until  they bleed

The more I scar myself  the more I have to hide so no one will see.

I just do not know why I have to do this, what ever is the need.

 

I am going on holiday soon  I shall be in the sun

But I shall have to cover up  to hide what I have done.

My husband does not like this,  he does not understand

Why I make such a mess of myself, my back, my arms and now the fingers of my hand.

 

Why do I do this, why can’t I handle life

Sometimes it looks like I have attacked myself  with a knife.

The more I tell myself to stop  the more I seem to do it

My husband tells me I must stop,  as if  there is nothing to it.

 

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I am not as bad as the picture  but I do now have many scars. Unfortunately I have several new scabs on my  back and  shoulders. I really  do not understand why I do this I am not a teenager  or even a young  person. I feel so ashamed  that I do this  when I am a mature woman with children and grandchildren.

WHY IS LIFE SO HARD. 

 

 

EvDaDaDec : Guilty secret

http://th06.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/f/2013/051/4/c/dermatillomania_by_frolicking_photons-d5voj6y.png

I am a grown up, I must be,  look at my age

But  I self harm just like a teenager , it must  be all the rage!

I don’t cut  but I scratch until I bleed

I make sure it does not show, no to show is not a need.

I do it because I hate myself, because I am so unsure

Sometimes it is the only  thing  that helps  me life  to endure.

Right now I feel I am loosing  the tenuous grip I hold on life

There seems  to be only fine lines and they all lead  to strife.

I really  should  be passed all this,I am a grown up woman

But when things get fraught  I scratch because I can.

I do not want to do this I am ashamed  to admit

I hope that if I write it down, I find  a way to stop it.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4ak37j0rb1rwv1jko1_500.jpg

This  is not  my back but it could be

Why do I do this, what is wrong  with me.

I know I am not alone many struggle with this curse

I want  to find the strength to stop and not get worse.

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I feel the need to face up to this  as I have now been chewing my fingers… I have  never attacked my hands before.

I have found  this on the  web Dermatillomania  does anyone know about it .