It Hurts

Shoe laces taken

All she knows  shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

Corridors full of  eternal walkers

Going  nowhere, watched  by  stalkers.

Screams  erupt  so do  tussles

Held down by  ‘staff ‘ with muscles.

 

Nothing  stops  the pain  NOTHING

Smile  at  family  don’t  let  them see  the  bluffing.

It hurts, it  hurts  she  needs  to  bleed

A sacrifice  to the demon’s  seed.

 

Doors  slam locks  turn

Fears  grow behind  doors  souls burn

Help me  please help me

Blind eyes don’t see…………………….

 

Shoe laces taken

All she knows  shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

 

 

Depression cuts.


STOP  THE  PAIN 

it  is  eating  me  again!

Sharp, sharp steel blade

The  only  rlief , the only  difference  made.

STOP  THE  PAIN 

Before  it  takes  my life  in vain

Please  show  me  a better  way

I can’t  bleed  through  another day.

STOP  THE  PAIN 

I don’t  want  to stay  the same.

Please, please  just someone help me

Save  me from  myself, don’t let death  be  the only thing  to free me!!

STOP  THE  PAIN 

My lips are  sealed I am still sane.

Yet I cannot talk I cannot  tell you.

But  I want  your help, honestly  true. 

STOP  THE  PAIN 

it  is  eating  me  again!

Sharp, sharp steel blade

The  only  rlief , the only  difference  made.

1000 Voices Speak for Compassion : Bullying

Cyber and school Bullying

Cyber Bullying

So now you have it , you have exposed your soul.

Here it is laid bare

You have opened up your entire life, have a care.

Not everyone is as loving and caring as you.

Beware  of what unkind souls might do.

Once they get inside your head

They can check you out and manipulate anything you’ve said.

They can eat you up and plague you, spit you out and leave you dead.

OH! you must beware

They will strip you down and leave you bare.

They don’t know who you are

They don’t care, it is easier for them your mind to scar.

They will expose your secrets and sell your soul

Tell lies about you and expose your whole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHY!

Hi, long time no see, what? surely you remember me.

Would you like a drink relax lets talk you can feel free.

Why did you call me all those names,

Why did you exclude me from all your games.

Was I so ugly was I so fat ,

Why was I something at which you just spat.

Why did I let you make me cry

So many days and nights I just wanted to die.

I still carry the scars on my arms and my back

Why did I let you get to me , for something you lack.

What made you think think you were so much better than me.

Why did I let you tether my spirit which I should of set free.

Why did you hound me where ever I went

Why were you so, on my destruction bent.

I have never kidded myself that I was in any way stunning

But the way you treated me and made me look bad was cunning.

You stuck you protractors and pencils in my legs

When we had cookery you made sure you broke my eggs.

If I ever cried or made a fuss  I’d hear your laughter.

If tried to tell the teacher they’d dismiss me, they’d call me a martyr.

Do you know what, I am through  with all of you

I have succeeded in my life I do not have to explain myself  at all.

 

May it burn their  ears

It’s was always the same she got left out of their games.

Pushed around and ostracized, taunted with nasty names.

If she tried to ask for help they made a worse reprise.

Her tummy and her head always caused her pain,

Mum took her to the Drs, again and again.

So why did no one see the hurt, did no one see her tears

Somehow it all got missed through out the early years.

Puberty and another set of rules

she changed faster and looked different from them which made their tongues more  cruel.

She worked hard and kept her head down but that did her no good

They painted on her  coat “I AM THE SCHOOL CLOWN’. She just accepted that…well they knew she would.

google image

Always out on a limb always on her own

Surrounded by many but always left alone .

Every year she’d tell herself this one would be better every year

They found nastier and meaner ways to get at her.

In her room at home she’d sit and cut herself the blood felt good as it seeped away

That was pain she could control and she did so every day.

She cut her arms she cut her thighs and below her waist

Anywhere that didn’t show it all hurt less than the bullying she faced.

Home was no escape you see her mobile and the computer

Were just another way the bullies could get to her.

Such wicked lies and doctored images of her, she just could find no peace .

She blessed the days she got off sick for they were a release.

Rest-bite for a while until they came to visit and fooled her mum with a smile.

google images

Eventually all the cutting that she did could not compensate

For the messages, the gossip on face book the texts and all the hate.

She could not tell her teachers she could not tell her mum

There was no one else she could tell so what was to be done.

They took some pictures of her in the changing room.

They posted them on face book, beebo and myspace too.

She knew they were all laughing at her but  what was she to do.

Her mum was worried witless by the state of her lovely girl ,

She was pale and listless and hair fell out by the curl.

Even worse she suspected that she was cutting herself

She’d found a bloodied blouse dropped on the laundry shelf.

Determined she could sort this her mum went up to the school,

Everyone told her that her mum was such a fool.

_______________________

They found her Monday morning hanging in the hallway,

Some screamed some cried some where sick but not one of them had a nasty word to say.

So yes she had silenced them but at such a price

She paid so dearly for them to stop, she paid for their silence with her life.

The whole school attended  the funeral , flowers everywhere,

And photos of her, she was a very pretty girl, that made them stop and stare.

They had never really look at her, her tormentors and her piers.

I hope they learned the lesson and that her suicide note burns their ears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is too much bullying too much weight on how you look ,

Well beauty is skin deep if you look into my book.

It isn’t only girls who get bullied and pushed around

There are just as many boys who have bullies screwing them around.

 

Sweet Emma May

Sweet  Emma May  has  gone  away

No good  searching  you won’t  find  her today!

Gone  and  no one knows where

And  in truth  not  one of  them gives a care.

Life  got  too hard  for Emma May

Her  lonely  struggle  every day.

At work  she was  friendly  but  quiet

A pretty  girl  but  always  on a diet.

All her life sweet Emma  May

Had  struggled with the weight  that  would  not go away

People  always  teased her with names

At school she  was taunted  and shunned  from games.

Boys  and Men used sweet comely  Emma May

She  was good  for  a fuck  but they always walked a way.

They did not want to take her out where they’d  been seen

But  in her room , the  office  or  car  they appeared so keen.

Binge eating  always  comforted  sweet Emma May

But the guilt  made  her sick and she’d  flush it  all away.

No one  knew  that she was so ill or that  she had hidden cuts

Cuts  that  bled  and  took the pain away from her  soul  and guts.

Tired and lonely Emma May  took the razor  and cut too deep

She  did   not  stop  the  blood , she was too tired, she went to sleep.

Lonely sweet  Emma May from sleep to death  slipped away.

Her little  body  in a pool of  blood  was found  the next  day.

Sweet  Emma May  has  gone  away

No good  searching  you won’t  find  her today!

Gone  and  no one knows where

And  in truth  not  one of  them gives a care.

Self Harm : a Nonette.

Screams rise from my  tortured and empty  soul

Desire  dragging  me into a cavernous hole.

Demons ripping the clothes from my back

Grabbing,  thrashing blindingly  black.

Biting and scratching

Sucking  my blood

Heaving and retching

Tears flood

Mud.

Cutting the pain

Shut the door , shut them all out  cover your ears

Pull the curtain, drop the latch wish you could shut out your fears.

The pain is building, pumping in your blood,  echoing in your head .

Find the tin box, the one you hide , with the knife and tissues under your bed.

 

Put the light on take a deep breath not long now release is at hand.

Take the knife watch it cut , cut deep see the red line expand

Seeping out it takes the pain , make it work this time again

Make it work deeper we go  , damn it’s gushing tissues quick make no stain.

 

Why won’t it stop , just watch it flow

Making all my pain and fears go

I am feel so cold ,I can’t stop shaking

Falling, falling all is fading something is all my agony taking ………………….

 

 

 

 

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