Covid19 – willowdot21

A Q & A with Debby Kaye.

©DGKaye2020

Join Marjorie Mallon and Debby G Kaye as they have a Q & A session on This is Lockdown.

Read at source

Day Three of the, This Is Lockdown. Blog Tour.

Hi everyone welcome to a socially distanced tea and chat with the very talented and lovely Marjorie Mallon.

Well make yourself comfortable and enjoy your cuppa and cake while we chat.

Oh, thanks so much for inviting me over Willow, I like nothing better than a cuppa, cake and a natter! What scrumptious cake!

1 Now we already know your reasons for writing this excellent book but which of your personal entries says the most about your feelings on lockdown.

Oh, thank you, Willow. My personal entries… now that’s an interesting question! I think there will have to be two: one light and one dark. The saddest one, (Stay at Home,) because we all fear the worst case scenario, counterbalanced by the happiest outcome, (Grandad Is Coming Home.)

Stay At Home – (Family – Trigger Warning)

Rich lays in bed.

His wife has just put his profile picture up on Facebook with the caption ‘Stay at home.’ His breathing is laboured, his thoughts petrified. What has he brought into his house? His wife, children and new baby, what has he done?

Regret flows through his veins, entwining with the progress of the deadly virus. He acknowledges his failings, softly whispering for forgiveness to a God he never knew he had.

His thoughts rage, condemning himself for his stupidity. He’s an idiot who carried on as normal, mixing in groups, laughing at the virus, putting up funny jokes on his Facebook profile page. Now the virus has him, it is gripping his chest, punching his lungs for his stupidity and carelessness. It is laughing at him.

Next door he hears his baby daughter crying. A tear spills from his eyes. He can’t get up to feed her, he can’t hold her in his arms. His wife’s footsteps come rushing, her voice soft and gentle as she tries to calm their baby down while he is certain that her terrified heart beats to a tune he cannot touch.

The baby is quietened. He guesses she’s been fed, nappy changed, tucked back under the covers. Safe. Or is she? He can’t see his family as they are in the living room next door to his isolated bedroom, but he knows his wife has opened her Facebook page to read more grim accounts of death. His photo has been shared again with the caption begging their friends and family to, “Please Stay at Home.”

The word please shouts but will people listen?

Fighting through fever, he tries to focus, to listen for his son. Where is he? He struggles to hear. He fears that he might notice a new sound, a cough, perhaps, a dry, wheezing sound.

Nothing. Not a sound.

Instead, he coughs, his temperature racing.

Then he hears his son’s voice, scared. “What’s wrong, mummy. Why are you crying?”

“It’s okay, Jonny,” his wife soothes. “Look, I’m keeping busy, cleaning your Lego, then you can play.”

“Where’s Daddy?” asks his son.

“He’s in bed, Jonny.”

“But, I want to play with him,” Jonny whines.

“He’s sick Jonny, we have to let Daddy rest.”

He can’t see his wife, his sweetheart, his son, or his newborn baby and this breaks his heart. But he knows how rigorously his wife will clean their son’s toys. How she will pop each piece of Lego in the sterilisation liquid before drying them meticulously.

A mother’s love is unstoppable.

But he can hear his wife. “Go play,” she says, sighing.

His son shouts, “Yay,” as if it is a normal day. “Can I go to the park?”

“No,” his wife yells. Then her voice pierces the air with even more urgency. It is a knife to his heart. “Don’t put things in your mouth.”

His son is crying. “Sorry, mummy.”

“Oh, darling, I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

His son sniffs, and his wife consoles.

Rich continues to listen, but he hears nothing. It is silent for a time. He imagines his son building a fortress to keep the virus out. His wife watching him, marvelling at their young son, wondering who he will become. A scientist who will cure deadly viruses. Or a doctor who will save patients.

By now Rich is struggling to breathe, but he can’t shout for help. He can’t risk infecting his loved ones. He has to be a grown up. This isn’t the flu. This isn’t the sniffles. He knows that now, but perhaps it is too late. If they stay away, perhaps they will be safe.

The virus will decide.

***

But, to counterbalance it, there always has to be hope:

Granddad Is coming home!

(Flash Fiction – Uplifting)

Grandma couldn’t believe it; her husband had survived.

At eighty-seven he was in the at risk group. Someone was looking after him and it wasn’t just the NHS! She looked at his photo in the news, walking arm-in-arm with an NHS worker. He was wearing a face mask, and yet he looked like he could take on the world. The nurse’s face glowed with joy, happy to share some good news about his recovery from COVID19 pneumonia. The image was shared all over the world, gobbled up by viewers desperate for some cheerful news.

For a moment Grandma pondered the strangeness of life. What was God’s plan in all of this? She had no idea but her heart filled with happiness at the thought of her dear husband coming home.

2 What lessons will you take away with you and learn from when we finally find our way out of these Covid19 days.

To live life to the full, treasuring each moment. Life is a precious gift and one we should be respectful of.Relationships with my family of four: hubby, and two grown-up daughters, Natasha and Georgina have deepened. We’ve spent so much time together. This is one positive to come out of COVID19. Especially, as Natasha and Georgina will be flying the nest at the same time this Autumn. Hubby and I will be empty nesters! I shall miss them so much. Lockdown has also been an opportunity for me to continue on my mindful journey. Before this all happened I studied mindfulness, which helped me a lot. I’ve learnt to appreciate the quiet, the beauty of nature, observations and thoughts which come and go, and, to love our planet. The skies shone during lockdown, as if the world appreciated our peacefulness – no airplane trails, less cars on the roads…It’s a delicate balance and one we should be mindful of.

Would you like another

3 Do you think that lockdown has bought your family closer together.

Ah, yes, I definitely think it has. We’ve always been close, but now we are closer. Also, I think my daughters have grown up and regressed too! It’s a strange thing, on the one hand they have shared more grown up discussion and on the other they have become childlike again. I think it often happens – if you spend a lot of time with your parents you become little people again! I adopt a little person persona when I visit my mum and dad and I’m no a youngster!

4 Did you have any Covid panics .

Yes, my hubby was ill right at the beginning. It may have been COVID but we aren’t certain. He’d been in Austria skiing near the Italian border. Everything was shutting down and all his friends became ill with flu-like symptoms. With no testing in the UK, we couldn’t be certain, but I think it is likely. I had an off-and-on series of not feeling well, shivers and the like, but no other symptoms. So who knows? There have been other COVID panics, my mum and dad as they are older and both have health issues. I’ve been in a state of constant worry about them. Also, I worry about my youngest daughter as she is asthmatic, but she keeps on reassuring me that she only gets stomach bugs! The diaries section of the book candidly shares all my thoughts, fears and hopes.

5 What was the item you found difficult to get in the shops and did it frustrate you.

Toilet paper, pasta, thermometers and hand gel. Toilet paper was the most frustrating item. I hated seeing how it affected other people too, particularly the elderly.

6 I think this book is piece of living history do you agree.

Ah, what a lovely thing to say Willow. I’m so touched. It’s my hope that it will be. One day, when I’m an old granny, (hopefully I will be but not too soon,) I will pass This Is Lockdown to future generations and say – this is what happened during lockdown in the UK in 2020!

7 What will you miss about being locked down.

Time to write, time to create books, time to breathe in a world which rushes all the time and time to be with my family.

Thank you Willow for the marvellous questions.

Thank you to all the contributing authors including your good self who have made this collection and anthology very special to me.

Richard Dee, (Sci Fi , Steampunk, Amateur Detective author,) Catherine Fearns, (Amazon Bestselling Author of Police Procedural/Mysteries and Music Journalist,) Lynn Fraser, (Author,) Jackie Carreira, (Writer, musician, designer and aspiring philosopher,) Willow Willers, (Poet and writer,) Sharon Marchisello, (Murder Mystery, Financial non-fiction,) Fi Phillips , (Author, Copy Writer) Jeannie Wycherley, (dark stories, suspense, horror,) Chantelle Atkins, (urban fiction, teen/YA,) Tracie Barton-Barrett, (Speaker/author,) Peter Taylor- Gooby, (Crime, Love Stories, Political Fiction,) Ritu Bhathal, (Chick Lit romance, poet,) Alice May , (Author, Artist and Speaker,) Miriam Owen, (Blogger and Doctoral Researcher,) Drew Neary and Ceri Williams (Ghost Horror, Supernatural,) Katherine Mezzacappa, (Author name: Katie Hutton,) (Historical Fiction/Romance,) Sally Cronin, (huge supporter of indie community/blogger/author) Debby Gies (D G Kaye), (Memoirist/NonFiction,) Adele Marie Park, (Fantasy, horror, urban fantasy,) Marian Wood, (blogger, poet and writer.) Samantha Murdoch, (Writer, Blogger,) Beaton Mabaso (Blogger, African Storyteller,) Frank Prem (Poet, Author,) Anne Goodwin (Author, Book Blogger) Sherri Matthews (Writer, Photographer, Blogger,) and Jane Horwood and Melissa Santiago-Val – Community Masks 4 NHS.

This Is Lockdown

The Blurb.

An anthology and compilation of diaries, short stories, flash fiction, contributions from the ‘isolation writers,’ plus poetry written during the time of lockdown in the UK. This Is Lockdown is written from a writer’s perspective highlighting the simple pleasures of day-to-day life during such an uncertain and frightening time. It also gives a glimpse of the blogging, writing world. The book showcases several authors and their thoughts on what it is like to experience ‘isolation’ as a writer. I also discuss the handling of the pandemic and my thoughts on what might happen next. In the final part of the book I include my latest short story idea: a YA romance and various short pieces of poetry, and flash fiction inspired by the pandemic.

This Is Lockdown buying Link:

Universal link: mybook.to/Thisislockdown

Amazon UK link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08CD1MCFB?pf_rd_r=NPA6S5SQJ30A6VYX87Q5&pf_rd_p=e632fea2-678f-4848-9a97-bcecda59cb4e

Amazon US link:

https://www.amazon.com/This-Lockdown-COVID19-Diaries-Fiction-ebook/dp/B08CD1MCFB

Bio

I was born on the 17th of November in Lion City: Singapore, (a passionate Scorpio, with the Chinese Zodiac sign a lucky rabbit,) second child and only daughter to my parents Paula and Ronald, only sister to my elder brother Donald. I spent my early childhood in a mountainous court dwelling in the Peak District in Hong Kong.

It’s rumoured that I now live in the Venice of Cambridge, with my six-foot hunk of a Rock God husband. My two enchanted daughters often return with a cheery smile.

Sometimes when the mood takes me, I adopt an alter ego, M J – Mary Jane from Spiderman. I love superheroes!

When I’m not writing, I eat exotic delicacies while belly dancing, or surf to the far reaches of the moon. To chill out, I practice Tai Chi and Yoga. If the mood takes me, I snorkel with mermaids, or sign up for idyllic holidays with the Chinese Unicorn, whose magnificent voice sings like a thousand wind chimes.

My favourite genres to write are: YA fantasy, magical realism, and various forms of poetry. I blog about books, writing, photography and inspiration at: https://mjmallon.com.

I enjoy writing articles celebrating the spiritual realm, my love of nature and all things magical, mystical, and mysterious. One of my greatest pleasures is reading. I’ve written over 150 reviews at my lovely blog home: https://mjmallon.com/2015/09/28/a-z-of-my-book-reviews/

I’m a member of a professional writing body. SCBWI, the Society of Children’s Writers and Illustrators.

Links:

Authors Website:https://mjmallon.com
Authors Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.co.uk/M-J-Mallon/e/B074CGNK4L
Twitter: @Marjorie_Mallon and @curseof_time

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mjmallonauthor/
#ABRSC: Authors Bloggers Rainbow Support Club on Facebook
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17064826.M_J_Mallon BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/m-j-mallon

Collaborative Group: https://www.facebook.com/pg/5SpiritualSisters/

Blog Tour: Dates
14th July Chantelle Atkins (Q and A) .
15th July Beaton Mabaso
16th July Willow Willers (Q and A)
17th July – Double Promo for This Is Lockdown and Adele Marie Park‘s new release Wisp II – Sea Dragons at M J Mallon’s blog.

18th July Sally Cronin – Promo/Review!!!

Launch week:

20th July – Launch Day Promo M J Mallon – Lockdown Quotes.
21st July – Sharon Wilden of Shaz’s book blog – promo
22nd July – Ritu Kaur BP
23rd July – Richard Dee
24th July – D G Kaye ( Q and A)
25th July – Marian Wood

Thank you for joining me Marjorie and I wish you every success with this Marvelous book.

What day is it Anyway. Saturday 4th July, Sunday 5th and Monday 6th July 2020.

Why is Linda hosting this post.

She said.”Because if you’re like me and stuck at home already, or if you’re going to be like me soon, the days of the week are going to be hell to keep track of. We have a wonderful community here on WordPress, and I’m sure many people are feeling nervous and/or isolated. I want to make sure every one of us has somewhere to congregate and someone to talk to.

Why am I writing this post ?

Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.

Well I don’t think I want to live forever but I would like to live a little longer….maybe a lot longer. Non of us are immortal and after MIL’s passing losing friends over the years it brings it home to you. One day the boys are going to be the ones to step up to the plate and deal with our funerals.

Now Hubby and I had sorted out a funeral plan for ourselves and we have paid up front, about four years ago. When my sister Mary died, she had arranged every aspect of her funeral and the wake and it made things much simpler and less painful.

It’s not morbid really, we decided we had done our wills ages ago why not make it easy for the boys and sort out our funerals too. So it’s been sorted for s couple of years now.

We could never get Hubby’s mother to sort her funeral or arrangements out infact she would get down right hostile about it! It was a great deal of work to sort it all out…. So we decided to sort ours out. Hubby did his on Friday. He designed his order of service, his music and poems and speeches. So I thought I am a captive patient at the moment so Saturday afternoon I set to and have organised my funeral too.

Like hubby,order of service, music, and where I would like my ashes scattered. ( In Pitshsnger Park Ealing London with Hubbys) I, like Hubby want a simple humanist service with a Celebrant. Up beat an hopefully happy.

We are hoping that this way it will be easier for which ever of us goes first and ultimately easier for the boys …. It is not what any of us want to think of but it will make life a lot easier for those we leave behind. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it.

I have thought long and hard about what music I want and come up with these. I want to go in to Canto Della Terra by Andrea Bocelli

No hymns instead The prayer by Donna Taggart

I have written a thank you note to everyone and asked God / Gaia to look after everyone left behind . Instead of a prayer I feel it’s more heartfelt. I don’t want them feeling they have to say a prayer by rote.

I am going out on a high note with Sia’s Your Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.

I was tired after that so I was in bed by 9pm but I was in a lot of pain so I could not sleep but I got through the night. As it was the 4th July both Independence Day film were on , I couldn’t concentrate so we recorded them to watch later.

Sunday 5th July 2020.

Awake at stupid o’clock, my wound was really sore and I had a thumping headache. I had a paracetamol and that helped a little. I rested in bed until 1pm then got up , Hubby and I had a walk round the block to keep my legs working… I rang the changes and wore a different long scarf to hide my bag.

© willowdot21. “Today Mathew I am going to be Sandy Shaw.”

We had a quiet afternoon and at 5pm we went out and clapped for the NHS’s 72th Anniversary and to wave to our neighbours. I was a little disappointed as not many bothered to come out but that’s their choice , those of us who did showed our gratitude.💜

We had our weekly video virtual get together with our friends up the road, it was hilarious as usual. I was tucked up in bed again by 9pm. It took me ages to get to sleep but eventually I did and I slept better and woke up in less pain.

Mondy 6th July

Awake at not so stupid o’clock, and was feeling marginally better. Hubby walked Ruby and did the housework. I rang round and found a dog groomer who would cut Ruby’s claws for us. She has long quicks in them and we don’t like to risk hurting her. I did get her an appointment and hubby dropped her off there and waited while she was done. It only took 5mins and then he took her on for her afternoon walk.

It’s been a quiet day of mixed weather, we have heard from the boys and one of my sisters. I ached today so after dinner I have asked hubby if we can do a walk around the block to ease things up.

That’s about it for now. I hope you are all feeling good, sending hugs to you all.

Time for a happy song.

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA ?

What Day is it Anyway 29th June to 3rd July 2020.

This song is so much deeper that it appears on first hearing. It’s all about depression, or maybe that’s too strong a word. Perhaps apaphy is better word. ” I can’t change my mould, I am here in my mould, and I am million different people from one day to next, I can’t change my mold”. To me that’s very poignant especially these strange days. On the face of it the video could easily be about flouting social distancing…. Don’t get me started.

As I am recovering with this bag , my new friend things have become even more ground hog and indistinguishable! I still wake at stupid o’clock. Though now Hubby does most things I used to. I do as much as I can, even if it’s behind his back. I don’t tell him and it’s always one less job for him to do.

At some point over the weekend our friends Debbie and Chris came to socially distance in the garden, that was lovely but it rained…. We spoke to the boys and did all the usual things, plus our weekly virtual night at the pub with our friends. I was tucked up in bed by nine.

Hubby is also busy sorting out his Mum’s estate, so much involved with that and busy.

Monday 29th June 2020.

Up at stupid o’clock, hubby walked Ruby and I got dressed. We had a hospital appointment to have the drain and bag checked. We arrived just after 10am, parking was not easy but eventually we got a space. Hubby went and found me a wheel chair and we were off.

We arrived at the ADSU at about 10.30, they did seem very busy. The nurse incharge seems very abrupt but we had an appointment. We were waiting around for a while then they found us a bay and bed.

Things looked up when our nurse arrived, she was really nice and welcoming and very confident. So bloods, stats and four hour wait we had a 6mins consultation.

The two doctors we saw were really helpful, if not a tad rushed. But the answered all my questions and addressed my worries. They told me all was looking okay. The bleeding seemed to have stopped 🤞the dressing, tubes,drain and bag all good too. I have to go back in about four weeks to have special X-ray and see the surgeon about the removal of drain and operation. I am hoping we will be looking at another 6 weeks. Hubby had got us a sandwich and drink while we were waiting and we had lunch in the car before we headed home.

I was knackered when we got home 💜

Tuesday 30th June 2020 to Friday 3rd July 2020.

Well it’s almost been sleep, eat repeat. Not too much eat though. Hubby walks the dog, we keep in touch with friends and family. I empty my cholecystectomy bag daily. Hubby shops, cooks and cleans, I do my bit and will my body to heal. I walk round and round the garden and house to keep fit.

Last night and tonight hubby and I walked out the front door, around the block and back into the back door. All good exercise. Not far but it’s a start. Also our middle lad popped round to social distance round the garden.

That’s really all I have to tell at the moment so it’s time for a happy song . I have used this song before but I am going to use it again. Because I need to be brave and positive and this song makes me feel both!

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA.

What day is it Anyway? June 26th 2020.

Hello now why did I pick that song by James Blunt. Well it’s for the lines

“I put a smile on my face
To hide that I feel outta place
Should I give it all up?
I’m on the edge and letting go
After the highs you feel the lows
Should I give it all up?”

And

“Could you hold my hand?
‘Cause it’s getting dark
And I’m losing grip
On my heart
Could you lift me up
‘Cause I’m breaking down
And I need you here
With me now”

Yes I am feeling insecure, it’s the cholecystectomy bag, or is it the tube coming out of me. I don’t know really. I just don’t feel like me. Anyhow since I last wrote a post on the 16th June. I have been resting and recovering. I lost blood the first week and had to visit the hospital twice, the last time was Saturday 20th anyway things have settled since then. 🤞. My next appointment is this Monday, for a “drain check”.

So it’s been difficult to sleep, hubby being absolutely great doing most things and helping me. We are both still getting up at stupid o’clock. After four days I felt strong enough to get washed dressed and sit in the garden. I have progressed to folding laundry, and I am walking round the garden, getting stronger. I have had a sort of shower and washed my hair… Both endeavours, though on different days wore me out.😴

This is my view as I sit in the shade and read all your lovely posts. So there really is not much to tell because I really am not doing much. It has been great to read all your posts and news. I am waiting for my muse to return, she has cleared off and left me high and dry!

Then I got a lovely surprise, this afternoon WordPress sent me this lovely Surprise..

So Happy Anniversary to me 💜

So I amazed to see I have been blogging for 9 years. It been and gone in a flash!

So that’s it for now I need to conserve energy, for getting better and also for keeping a smile on my face and supporting hubby, who is “Chief cook and bottle washer” , dog walker on one hand and exectuter to his mum’s will on the other.He is working so hard so I want to support him all I can. I don’t want him worrying about me too much he has a lot to cope with right now. So I need to support him too.

That’s all for now Folks, and Thank You WordPress.

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA.

What Day Is It Anyway?

Dear friends, and you are all friends, you have proved this more than once. I feel I should explain my absence since 4th June. I have been unable to write or even read any one’s posts, my apologies. Then this morning I spotted how Darswood had said she had wondered where I was and had sent condolences for the family that I should give you a heads up for now.

Firstly, MIL died late night 3rd/ early hours 4th June. The Covid and frailty won in the end. MIL did not go quietly she fought it to the end with every ounce she had. She made her goal, her 100th Birthday and was conscious, up and dressed to celebrate it with the hospital staff and hubby.

Then the days began to blur we fell into a pit of organisation. As you will know if you have been following my #WDIIA posts hubby and his brother and sister do not get on too well. But when MIL died they agreed hubby should organise everything, this is just as well as otherwise it would of been chaos. So he threw himself into arranging the funeral. I gave all the support I could but he was a man on a mission, he wanted to do his mum proud.

We got up at stupid o’clock, we walked Ruby , Hubby arranged the funeral this strange pandemic life continued with its highs and lows.

Stangely I was feeling ill, sleeping, eating and doing even less. I found it hard to write or read. Pains in my shoulders, back, chest, neck, jaw all escalated until we thought heart attack? … But for days? Eventually I rang our GP surgery.

Now going to the GP surgery these days is not normal. You ring up and talk to a non medical receptionist who quizzes you, luckily I was deemed unwell enough to see a duty Dr at 5pm that evening. Instructions : Arrive at carpark wearing a mask and gloves, stand at the first yellow line by the emergency exit and someone will let you in. I was greeted by an woman in brown scrubs, plastic apron, gloves, mask, goggles and a visor. She was actually the Dr. Her PPE and my mask made conversation rather difficult, anyway I had a chat with her then a nurse gave me an ECG. And an appointment for blood test was arranged. ECG was fine.

It was a very painful weekend though Saturday we got to see our son , his wife and the grandchildren, under brand new rules we are now allowed to have a BBQ of six people who must socially distancing. You may not go into the host’s house at all. So we had a lovely bbq.. and it was cold and windy and some of the time it rained thank goodness for heavy garden umbrellas. But it was the first chance to see them since lockdown and it was lovely. Some of the above rules have changed again.

As the weekend progressed I got worse. Monday was terrific, pain, Monday night thought I was dying, Tuesday I took to my bed. By 4pm we had to call 101, they sent an Ambulance which took me to E.D. Home at 5am next morning then back at AEC at 11am tests all day, then Ultrasound found the problem. A massively swollen gall bladder full of bile and large stones, one huge one blocking the neck. I was admitted.

© willowdot21 Not where I was but similar.

Now again because of the pandemic we have to go to hospital unaccompanied, so hubby had spent Monday night and Tuesday not really knowing how I was really coping. Luckily we were in touch by mobile.

Wednesday after nil by mouth I.V. antibiotics, fluids and painkillers overnight on the ward it was decided they would put in a drain and fit a cholecystectomy bag. Mid morning I was taken to ultrasound, the procedure did not go smoothly and it had to be done twice with a CT Angiogram done half way through to see what was going wrong. I might talk about that later but not today, the drain and bag are with me now for 6 to 8 weeks with appointments arranged with the surgeon and then another operation to remove the gall bladder.

Hospitals too at the moment are dark and scary places , staff wearing PPE, and inpatients and outpatients wearing masks and gloves. I will write about about my experiences, fears, what I heard and saw but not now I am tired and I don’t have the muse with me she is on holiday.

I was discharged from hospital Saturday evening, wearing my new accessary the cholecystectomy bag, with scant instructions on how to empty and keep it clean and even less on what I can and can’t do myself, but there’s always Google and my brain to help me with that . So Sunday dawned warm and it was so good to feel safe at home, hubby and I emptied the cholecystectomy bag , over 200mls good I thought it’s draining well , We had a very quiet day and it was good to relax and eat something edible though small. A neighbour rang and whilst they were chatting I was dozing. Hubby looked at my bag and there was another 150 mils in it. He said our neighbour had said it should not be red and looking like tomato sauce and over 300mls was an awful lot to loose since coming home. Thankfully we listened as we knew she was a nurse albeit 34yrs ago.

So it was Sunday evening I was back in hospital much to my distress, thank goodness after 24hrs, more tests, bloods and two nasty injections through a cannular I am back home , grateful and determined to stay here.

Last night I slept like a baby, we were up at a quarter to stupid o’clock. But today is MIL’s funeral and sadly I can’t go, I am not well enough. That again is another post. .

So I am going to stop now as I am exhausted, I have been trying to finish this post on and off for over 12 hours now but I am determined to do so.

The funeral went well, and MIL’s road was lined with her neighbours, family and friends. A mark of the woman she was. Our middle son followed the hearse to the Crematorium as a mark of respect, a one man Cortege. He payed his respects to the 10 family members allowed into the funeral then drove to our house to look after me. In the garden socially distancing.

Hubby and our two other sons attended the funeral, hubby read his lovely eulogy to his mum, the Celebrant spoke beautifully about MIL from what hubby had told her. Hubby and our to other lads joined The middle lad and me in the garden, we made a party of six with Ruby dog, and we were all socially distanced. The boys drifted off one by one the youngest first home to his family, then the middle to his flat our eldest and hubby took Ruby for a walk . Then he went off home too.

Below the music from the funeral.

Mil entered to this as it was a favourite of hers.

This hymn was for all to join in, with was this version.

Unforgettable, bless she is. Was her exit anthem.

So I think that is that for now, I still don’t feel up to being back full time yet. The loss, the cholecystectomy bag, the next op, the fear and pain, pandemic is all a little to much just now. I am here I am trying and it’s so good to know you are all there.

Thank you to Sue at Daily Echo and Ritu at But I Smile Anyway for seeing me through a dark night on the ward. Thank you Marjorie Mallon for her kind words and Darswood for giving me the shove I needed to write this post. To all of you , you know who you are Betty, Geoff, Di, Hugh, Colleen, Dale, Ronovanwrite’s, Kat, John, Jim all of you out there, I am here. I am coming back I just need some time. If your name’s not there consider yourselves all mentioned.

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA.

consider yourself mentioned Linda💜

Colleen’s 2020 Weekly #Tanka Tuesday #Poetry Challenge No. 180, #Poet’sChoice

WELCOME TO TANKA TUESDAY!

It’s the first of the month and you know what that means! Poets, choose your own syllabic poetry form, theme, words, images, etc. It’s up to you!

My poem is an Etheree. It is about my mother in law. Who has been ill since 13th April with Covid19, it is now attacking her brain. MIL is 100years old.

Silent Fear

Torture, trapped here never to move again

Lost, alone in this dark place, of pain.

I will not stop I won’t give in.

But my strength is wearing thin.

Where’s the door, where’s the key

I need to fly free.

Machines beep beep,

I need sleep

Set me

Free.

*********

This Covid19 is a Bastard

What day is it Anyway. 25th of May to 29th May 2020

Why is Linda hosting this post.

Why am I writing this post ?

Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.

Yes the show must go on, however we feel like shouting STOP! It won’t. We must find our way through the mis-imformation and the contradictory advice, the two faced politicians who treat us with contempt. Yes it’s up to us now to “be alert” what ever that means, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have to “Stay home.” I know what that means… But “be alert” ?? Nah! What’s that all about.

Monday 25 May 2020.

Hubby and I up at stupid o’clock, I really don’t need to tell you but incase anyone has newly arrived I shall explain.

Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.He took Ruby out after his breakfast and after he’d rung the hospital. So started another day… Too early.

Monday was a bank holiday, not that that should mean anything on partial lockdown. Well it didn’t to us really but I am sad to say and appalled by some people in this country, who dashed off to beaches and beauty spots throwing caution and social distancing to the wind.

We spent most of the day trying to get hold of the hospital, it is harder to get through the eye of needle than get any proper information on MIL. Most of the day was spent, cooking, gardening and housework!

News re MIL. Hubby spoke to ward. No change re MIL. Asleep now. Had a comfortable night. Doctor seeing her later and advised to ring back at 2pm.. I asked how long will she stay in bed and how long on introvenous food. .”The nurse didn’t know that’s down to occupation therapist and doctor. Again mentioned hearing aids, his note and MIL having responded to written notes. She said she would write that down…… 🤔….

In the afternoon as advised we tried at 2pm… After calling a dozen times with no answer eventually phone was answered by a physio. He said no nurses around who dealt with MIL. He did not know MIL but got her notes out and said at doctors round this morning the doctor had recorded, no lumber puncture required (no reason stated in the notes!) , to do a CT scan of the head and an ECG. The physio said if he wanted to speak to a doctor I should call between 9 and 10am. Said I had done that today and told to ring back at 2pm. He didn’t know what to say. Communication by them is extremely poor. I fear another complaint to PALS is looming.

We tried again in the evening but didn’t get any real information, she had been restless but was sleeping now, nurse was busy. We felt very frustrated and fobbed off. Not a good day!

Tuesday 26th May 2020

The day started the same as any other of late, Hubby worried about his Mum, endless and fruitless attempts to get through to the ward with no luck. Rang early same old same old. Hubby did the shopping, another successful trip, home safe.

Hubby rang again about 10am and spoke to a Dr who said they would ring later. We waited in all day then at about three when we were taking Ruby out a Dr rang . We picked middle sons washing up for him .

Look all I can say is that this week’s been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. MIL is not in a good way, this lock down is getting me getting me down. The easing back of restrictions is even more stressful. I actually don’t want to talk about it anymore this week.

Wedneday 27thMay.2020

Up stupid o’clock, Pilates at 10.30am, walked Ruby in the afternoon.

Numerous calls to hospital no good news.

Thursday 28th May 2020

Same as same as. No Pilates. Last official clap for NHS. May carry on if everyone else does.

Friday 29th May 2020.

Bad night waking up every two hours with cramp and bad dreams. So up at Stupid o’clock today hubby was so tired he stayed in bed until nearly 9am. So I fed, medicated and let Ruby out.

Before Hubby got up I did two Lesley Sansone exercise videos. Then after breakfast we took Ruby to a completely different places for a walk. She loved it we loved it, it was great to have a change and there were not too many people around! As it was around 10am , drs rounds hubby rang the hospital it took hubby an hour to get through to the ward but it was worth it as a Dr answered the phone.!

The Dr said MIL sitting up and looking around, he also said no change and still treating her for inflation of the brain due to Covid19. He said she is frail and it could go either way. They will decide if she can be moved to us but at the moment they just don’t know which way it will go. Feel a bit more positive as she is sitting up and alert.

We got home hubby contacted the boys, and people who want to know about MIL. I did the housework. I do feel better than yesterday, let’s hope the rest of the day can be as nice, less stressful and free from mixed up messages. I am sorry I lost it yesterday… I shall leave that in because this is real!

Time for a happy song. This one is to all WARRIORS. MIL IS ONE TOO.

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA.

What Day is it Anyway 24th May 2020

Why is Linda hosting this post.

Why am I writing this post ?

Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.

Changes everywhere I look and mostly not for good. I really can’t go into this because I try not to go too deeply into anything political. I read today that: “A person who has had Covid19, could be re-infected with coronavirus in six months, new research suggests, in a blow to the push for “immunity passports” as evidence of recovery from the illness.” Information from here.

So there we have if that is true it will be as easy to catch as the common cold. So Ch, Ch, Ch, changes will have to be made… Life will never be the same again. I know not all the changes are bad, look at nature she is having a ball, clear skies even over cities, less traffic, on land sea and air road and rail. The animals too have got much bolder which is sad as now some of the traffic is returning there has been a rise in road kill. Today my sister had a special visitor in her garden not mr fox, who often visits, but a beautiful Monkjack Deer.

Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.He took Ruby after his breakfast and after he’d rung the hospital. So started another day… Too early.

I had a leg of lamb in the fridge so I decided to roast it, for Sunday dinner. I did the whole works, Coliflower and broccoli cheese roast potatoes, parsnips, sweet potato and carrots and greens plus I made a huge Yorkshire pudding. It was lovely dinner and we enjoyed it very much. Hubby was going to mow the front lawn but instead he spent most of the morning putting up a new washing line for me. I have a system of six lines at the side of the house as I love to hang my washing out to dry it in the air.

The old line was green with a nylon inner, the new one is a bronze/ brown plastic line with a, wait for it …steel inner much stronger and very posh! I am very pleased with it.

After dinner we rang the hospital, checked up on the family and then walked Ruby.

In the evening we had our weekly video call with our friends five doors up, it was great fun as usual this week the invitation was named “WEEKLY SANITY CHECK”

Time for happy song

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA

What Day is it Anyway Friday 22nd and Saturday 23rd May 2020.

Why is Linda hosting this post.

Why am I writing this post ?

Because it’s day ? since we have been told by Bossa to stay home and socially distance ourselves. We are all in different circumstances and yet we are all in the same boat.

Read about what this song is about here on the guardian site

So yes it’s still #confused.com here or as I’d like to put it one law for them and one for us!

Yes useless this how I felt all of Friday, so low and depressed. Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we both battling with stupid o’clock. Ringing the hospital and hitting a brick wall time after time. Eventually got through to the ward, got the same response, call back, rang several times, eventually told only one person can be updated and sort it out. Hubby then explained that short term MIL might go back home but long term if she needed 24/7 care we were the only ones willing to provide this.. So information on her was essential so we could plan. He also mentioned the non communication with BIL. Hubby suggested he might talk to the Director of Nursing to resolve it. The nurse changed her tune, got nans file and said that both of of them would need to be updated by the doctor.

I had my Zoom Pilates class.

Hubby took Ruby for her walk.The day progressed. No phone calls as promised. However, by contacting Patient Liaison at the hospital hubby found out that under their policy BIL was designated next of kin and hubby was not entitled to information unless he could prove I was on equal terms with him. As Hubby has MIL power of attorney which shows they are all equal and after they contacted BIL he was granted next of kin status and given a password.. The doctor then rang. MIL will be in for a fair time. They do not know reason for seizures and are testing for everything eg: encephalitis and meningitis etc. If she manages to get out of hospital, which we hope she does, it is clear she will not be able to stay at her house and will come here to us BIL had already told the hospital this.

Thank goodness hubby is now in the loop. Trouble is I am totally exhausted and I feel dead these last few days have finished me off.

Hubby had to walk Ruby on his own because I was not up for it. We had a quiet evening. Sleep before my head explodes.

Saturday 23rd

Oh! Look another new normal, Hubby was up at even more stupid o’clock than I . He could not sleep worrying about his mum. So there we were both battling with stupid o’clock.

Hubby had already spoken to the ward and though the information was complete it was it was not too good.

MIL had been moved to another ward but this had obviously upset her and she had not been happy. Somehow she managed to pull out her drip, feeding tube and cathata and get out of bed. They put her on one to one observation for the night. In the morning she was “okay”.

Hubby walked Ruby, we checked in with the boys.

My friend became a grandma so warm wishes to all concerned.

Hubby checked in with the ward mid morning and discoverd MIL was still very unsettled, he asked if she had her hearing aids, a very kind nurse found them, in her hand bag. Hubby was asked if he could bring her in some night dresses. Which bless him he did, over to his mother’s house collected the bag from BIL’s car then off to the hospital.

But before that we took Ruby for her annual booster injection. All well organized, park car, knock on back door of surgery, let vet take dog, a few minutes later she comes out the other door. Back into the car and home.

While he was on his way to the hospital he had a call from the Dr to ask if he would agree to his mother being a Lumber Puncher as they needed to see if she has Covid19 on the brain. It was a shock but he agreed. He arrived at the ward and dropped off her clothes.

When he got home I had done the ironing, then we took Ruby for her walk.

We then spent over an hour trying to get through to the hospital, it’s like pulling teeth, I swear we have rung at least twenty times !. Finally we got through to the Nurse we spoke to this morning. He had received MIL’s stuff but had been too busy to sort any of it.

I rang my sister, unfortunately she is unwell.

We had dinner, home made fish and chips.

Time for a happy song.