MarySmith’sPlace ~ #CancerDiary#46 #TheLastPost

The very sad news of our friend Mary Smith’s passing.

The post that no one wanted to read.

Please read here.

Ruby is home!

© willowdot21

Home from Vetinary Hospital, after a traumatic month of shocks and operations. Fingers crossed cancer cut out, there is a lot of nursing to do but she deserves the best. There is some concern that the skin flap the Surgeons used to close the wound might necrotise but hubby and I will do our best to prevent this. Stitches out in 2/3 weeks.

Ruby says thank you everyone for sending her love and good wishes.💜💜💜

#TANKATUESDAY #POETRY CHALLENGE NO. 254, #SPECIFICFORM

WELCOME TO #TANKATUESDAY!

This week it’s time for the specific form, Colleen has asked us to try a Tanka Prose. I have tried and I have to say this is a very personal and painful one for me.

© willowdot21.

Evening Tide

So tired, she lies quiet, cosy and beconed. Yes old and wise as she is she will not leave those staples in. No more than she ever did the previous stitches. My best friend, my comforter your days are numbered, my heart is broken. The years you gave assisting can’t keep you safe.

it grows and festers.
the unkind killer within
respecting no life
I rail at you it’s not fair
no thought for service given.

© willowdot21.

THIS IS PART OF COLLEEN’S TUESDAY TANKA CHALLENGE.

The Apple Fell From The Tree.

Image from here

It hit the ground and made straight for me.

The trail of maggots  climbed my legs

They entered me and sucked  the dregs.

They coloured  my view, trapped inside my eyes

Whispering in  my ears abhorrent lies that turned  the tides

Of  ills  besetting me. They feasted on my brains

Their waste  clogging up  my  arteries  and veins.

Filling  my womb  and ovaries

Damning up  my bladder, my waters  burst uncontrollably.

They  turned  my milk, so what, I was now baron

They pushed out  my hair  Until I resembled carrion.

I beg them to set  me free,they did not

I begged them  for peace and  for the pain to stop.

They  did not listen nor  did they care

They gave not a shit  for how I’d fare.

No one listened  no one cared. So long  as it was not them

Who suffered. Their eyes avoid me again and again.

They pumped me full of chemicals, bags  and lines and  needles

It made  me worse, I curse them to suffer me such evils.

They, though not the maggots, mopped  my brow and  soothed my pain

They begged me to fight and fight again.

I tried, I really did I fought, I screamed I cried.

At last, at last I watched  them fly,

I kissed those maggots goodbye.

Find  the cure don’t  let the apple  fall from the tree

Don’ t let those maggots free.

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Another poem about illnesses and cancer from 2014.

Explosion.

Explosion Reaction

Image from Deviantart.

Explosion! what did he say.
No way, this is not right
He cannot say that today.
Close my eyes it’ll be all right.

Let me out I need some air
This is not happening now.
Not me, no this is not fair.
I can’t breathe,this is …. wow.

Open a window I am chocking here.
Yes a glass of water please
He’s spoken the words we all fear.
Please say it’s not true, this is just a tease.

Out in the street the traffic is loud.
Sweating profusely I shiver and shake.
I want to scream caught in this crowd.
Cancer it’s more than I can take.

#TANKA TUESDAY #POETRY CHALLENGE NO. 209, #POET’SCHOICE

Hooray, Colleen and her Tuesday Tanka Challenge is back from her short break. Colleen has been on the move and I for one wish her every happiness in her new home. Colleen said “Since it’s the first poetry challenge of the new year, Word Crafters, choose your own syllabic poetry form, theme, words, images, etc. It’s up to you!”

I have chosen to write an Acrostic Poem on the theme of Cancer. A subject that is giving me grief at the moment. Please don’t worry, as far as I know, I DO NOT HAVE CANCER sadly I have friends that do.

********

Cancer Acrostic

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Cunning, creeping, conniving

Ailing , sickening  no longer thriving

Nearing  the end of  your tether

Coping, worse  and worse  than ever

Eroding  you slowly  from the inside

Ruin it, kill it, crush  it, poison it until it dies!

This is part of Colleen Chesebro’s Tuesday Tanka.

Fight, Fight Fight.

Scream at the moon, appeal to the sun,

Beg for deliverance from this end to be undone.

Damn your luck, curse your fate

Demand a recount of the end date.

Clear these eyes, change the view.

Scrub away at this thing that is eating you.

Wash out that womb scour those ovaries

Rid this body of the death that might be.

Fight the enemy  growing within

Breath deep in the MRI, it makes such a din.

Swallow the drugs a chemical mix

Throw up your pain a hug will not fix

Rant at the day and scream at the night

Don’t  let Cancer win, no fight, fight, fight.

It’s a sneak a coward that hides

A sneak in the night that attacks from all sides.

Constipation

Our friends Sue Vincent and Mary Smith are both fighting Cancer right now. Both have hit another capital C. I am not talking about chemo nasty as that is. No I am talking about Constipation! Well all I can say is I have been there and it is horrendous! It may not seem like a big health issue but believe me it is. It certainly is not glamorous. So I am hoping to bring a smile to their faces and anyone else in the same or similar position. They have both discussed constapation in the comments on Mary’s blog and Mary has written about it at length, so I am betraying no secrets.

So to any of you who don’t do bodily functions or honesty perhaps this is not a poem for you .

Ruddy Constipation

Oh! This bloody constipation
It is causing me such consternation
I try my best eating veg and fruit
But do I shift it, no, I just toot.
Oh! The pain is so extreme
I push and push, grimace and scream.
Just to pass a motion now seems like a dream
The truth is more a nightmare
This dam shit is set on staying there.
I stand, I sit, I squat but the body is not playing
That,the laxative will work soon! I am truly praying!

**********

So I am sending this out to everyone suffering with cancer or any illness or disability. Keep fighting and keep taking the laxative!

Mary and Sue keep fighting!

You can visit Sue and Mary’s blogs using the Links at the beginning of this post.

My Red Killer Shoes.

I know I put this out last week but it needs to be said again . Come on Red Shoes get kicking !

These are my, can do shoes! My  not going to listen to you shoes!

My get up and go shoes! My stamp on and kick the shit out of the blues, shoes!

My ain’t gonna be be put on by you shoes! My skipping and dancing in the moonlight shoes.

My walking the righteous path shoes! my  who am I kidding shoes?

My kicking up a rumpus fetch me my compass shoes!

My who you looking at shoes, my cop an eye full of this shoes!

My ain’t behaving well shoes. My dancing on the ceiling enjoying every second shoes!

My in ya face, fall from grace shoes. My come and get me shoes,

My tiny winy skirt shoes! My delights are on offer shoes!

My need a thrill shoes,  my ones and twos shoes!

My I am bored shoes, my I want it now shoes!

My singing in the rain shoes, my apple pie up in the sky shoes!

My tipping the scales my way shoes, my light a candle say a prayer shoes!

My uppdido shoes, my yabbadabbado shoes!

My who am I kidding shoes, my I wish I was not such a wooze shoes!

My when is it my turn shoes? My fingers burned all hopes spurned shoes!

My bridges burnt shoes, my lessons learnt shoes!

My on my own shoes, my without a home shoes! My nothing left to loose shoes!

These are my I can beat you shoes, my watch it! your days are numbered shoes.

My, we have your measure now shoes. My cut you out, kick you hard shoes,

My grind you into the floor shoes!!My laugh in your face shoes!!

My Cancer we will wipe  you out shoes, My, we will without  a doubt shoes!

MY WE ARE GONNA WIN SHOES!!!!

my red shoes.

To my friends 💜💜💜💜💜

Song Lyric Sunday: 17/11/19. Don’t.

This week Jim Adams our talented host for Song Lyric Sunday has said that this week’s prompt is : November 17, 2019 – Did/Didn’t/Do/Don’t/Does/Doesn’t.

This week Jim’s prompt for us set me in mind of my dear friend Karen who died of cancer of the osphagus. We were close friends, I was not long out if hospital having broken my back badly , for the second time, when I got the news from Karen that she was ill.

The reason I have chosen Don’t stop me now by Queen will become apparent at the end of this post.

Don’t Stop Me Now” is a song by the British rock band Queen from their 1978 album Jazz and released as a single in 1979. Written by lead singer Freddie Mercury, it was recorded in August 1978 at Super Bear Studios in Berre-les-Alpes (Alpes-Maritimes), France, and is the twelfth track on the album. More information here.

I hope no one minds me making this so personal but this is Karen’s song.

To Karen

Karen

I rang her every day for over a year,

I begged to come see her but she would not let me near.

We laughed with each other but more often we cried.

I wanted to be with with her but her fears, this to me denied.

I begged her to fight it she told me she was tired

I nagged and bullied she said I was fired!

Things never got better she slipped from my grasp

I tried hard to see her but she still refused, so I did as she asked.

Then finally the day came and I got the call

At last I got to visit , not that she knew at all.

I talked of blue skies and beaches and clouds

I did not whisper I told her out loud.

She was struggling for breath then I caught her eye in a moment of clarity

I told her I  loved her she flashed at me   “no pity!”

Her hands were dirty her nails were lined black

Her pain and the squalor are the memories that keep coming back.

I spent four days in her company

I could not believe what I had to see.

I hated  her suffering as she breathed her last,

Sadly these horrid memories stuck in my mind, the ones which I cannot get past.

It was a foggy freezing December day

When we all met at the Crematorium  our goodbyes to say.

To a larger than life, loud colourful girl

Who with a flash of her eyes could set our working day in a whirl.

I sat there sobbing but she had to have the last word

“Get a grip you silly cow” were the words that I heard.

Then as her coffin disappeared for her final bow

She went out  with  a flourish to Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’.

Karen 1958 –  2010