Tree of hope

Today  I  visited a friend in  a psychiatric unit :  One  wall  was  decorated  with  the  Tree of Hope  logo. This  is  what I  saw  and  felt.

____________________________________

Tree of hope
Is this a joke
Lost souls wandering
Bored staff pondering.

Angry women strutting
Locked door are shutting
Tempers are  fraying.
Any point in praying.

One  step forward three back

Covers  for  the care  they lack.

Man shouting  he needs  his phone

His  eyes  ask will he find his way home

Tree of hope
Is this a joke
Lost souls wandering
Bored staff pondering.

 

Acrostic: HELP ME

Hopelessness  holding  me  down, my spirits  sinking  spiraling  round.

Ever near  the  cracks  of  doom  and I  am going down, underground.

Lonely  phantoms  running  skeletal fingers  through  my  messed up  hair

Pending  unhappy endings  awaiting  me, the  demons  are  coming , this  is  not  fair.

Miasma  curling,  swirling  round, screams of  anguish  the only  sound

Even the  moon desserts  me, in  the dark  I weep in  grief I  am bound!

Day 15 Nano Poblano :The Chink of Light.

Look for the chink in the wall of water,

Look for that light that will make the dark alter.

Walk the long bridge that goes into the dark close your ears to sound of screams,

They are only your fears released into the nightmare of your dreams.

Walk bare foot along the bridge unless you slip,

Tread slowly don’t rush you don’t want to trip.

There are no railings to save you if you fall

No safety net to save you, no nothing at all.

Look towards the chink of light

It is far away and deep into the night.

Steadily is the only way to proceed

One step at a time sadly there is no use for speed.

Don’t look up and don’t look down

Keep your eyes ahead  don’t you dare turn round.

Lest you slip, lest you fall no need too scream no need to call

There is no help for you if you fall.

grief

Welcome to my world

I have tried so hard to fight that wall

To cross the bridge and smash it all.

The further I go forward the further in to the distance it retreats

I have run, and I have crept and still the pattern repeats.

I try as I might, I try as I may

But pain is the same by night and by day.

I must keep going I cannot give in,

To reach the chink of light even if my chances are thin.

I can’t go round it I cannot pass through

There seems no way over. Help me, what am I to do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yea Mark 

Lost Hope

What good are these wings  to me

They have never helped me to be free.

What use have I for these eyes

Pluck them out, ignore my plaintiff cries.

 

What need have I of  these arms

None, none if not for your charms

What use my soul what use  my heart

Your harsh  words have rent them in half.

 

What point  my life what hope have I

I am replete, forlorn I need to die.

What good these wings I ask you with a sigh

What good to me who  can no longer fly.

 

The Apple Fell

The apple fell from the tree

It hit the ground and made straight for me.

The trail of maggots  climbed my legs

They entered me and sucked  the dregs.

 

They coloured  my view, trapped inside my eyes

Whispering in  my ears abhorrent lies that turned  the tides

Of  ills  besetting me. They made feast upon my brains

Their waste  clogging up  my  arteries  and veins.

 

Filling  my womb  and ovaries

Damning up  my bladder, my waters  burst uncontrollably.

They  turned  my milk, so what, I was now baron

They pushed out  my hair  Until I resembled carrion.

 

I beg them to set  me free,they did not

I begged them  for peace and  for the pain to stop.

They  did not listen nor  did they care

They gave not a shit  for how I’d fair.

 

No one listened  no one cared. So long  as it was not them

Who suffered. Their eyes avoid me again and again.

They pumped me full of chemicals , bags  and lines and  needles

It made  me worse, I curse them to suffer me such evils.

 

They, though not the maggots, mopped  my brow and  soothed my pain

They, though not  the maggots, begged me to fight and fight again.

I tried, I really did I fought, I screamed I cried.

They, the maggots  got what they wanted. I lost the  battle and died.

 

At last, at last I watched  them fly,

I kissed those maggots goodbye.

Find  the cure don’t  let the apple  fall from the tree

Don’ t let those maggots free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another Poem  for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Let it cease

It hurts it,  hurts  deep in the pit  of  my  stomach eating  away  at  my  soul.

Dragging  at  me  clawing, clawing ripping at  me  devouring  me  whole.

OH it hurts  so much  I am feeling sick it is  pushing  me over the edge.

Why does it happen,  why again and again  piecing my heart  with a wedge.

 

Pity, pity for  God’s sake  take  pity  on me

Give  me  a break loosen  your hold, and  set  me free.

Stop dragging  me  through  the fire’s  hottest  part

Cease pulling  at  my  scabs  and feeding  the dogs my  heart

 

Leave  me alone  let  this  pain cease.

Go, take  your hate  with  you and leave me in peace.

I am done  with your torture given with  a smile.

I refuse  to go  meekly  to your  lovingly prepared funeral pyre.

NaBloPoMo : Woman in Anguish.

Why does it hurt so much why do I have to suffer so

I am so bloody angry  with life ,more angry than anyone will ever know.

I am tired of taking all this shit  why should it always be  me, 

That bears the brunt of everything damn it all, I want to be free.

 

Free from all the worry free from all the grief and strife 

Families are so much grief I want a quiet life.

Why  can’t things  be happy  just like story book lies

I want to enjoy what others have instead of sorrows and trials.

 

All I want is happiness, free from moans and arguments

But this is never what I get  my life is not heaven sent.

Nothing ever comes my way but unhappiness and pain

Sod it it  all I have had enough.  I just want to run and not come back ever again.

 

 

Give Me Back

You break my will and you don’t even know

When I tell you this you say it is not so.

You never recall the things you said or did

Sadly I do but they are safe, in a box with a strong lid.

 

Many and ugly are the mental scars I have carried

Like a cat with a mouse  my feelings you harried .

Times have been when I have shaken like a leaf

You have stolen what is me . I want my self worth back you thief!

 

 

New Life

Sunshine through the window touches on her hair She is a beauty, a pale faced red head, fair beyond compare. In front of her a vase of flowers  filled with classic blooms arranged with love Concealed with the bright petals her avian friends hides He is attracted by the petals hues which he had spotted as he flew above. He has no idea how much this bouquet  means what importance on it rides.   The woman is unhappy she does not know what to do. The flowers are from her man Who has deceived her, they are a request for forgiveness. Sadly she doubts she can. He’s let her down one time too many, taken her love and not returned her any. A cloud crosses the sun casting a shadow on the flowers,her gentle bird flies away. Seizing  the vase she rushes to the bin, life has finally dropped the waiting penny. Alighting gracefully in his cage her bird begins to sing, The woman smiles as at long last she  decides he too will be cast away With the flowers. And her new life can begin.

Sofia

Today I have posted part of the book I would like to write, there is a larger section on it’s own page Sofia : How it all began. It is about a fallen angel . Her struggle to get back to heaven, it is not religious  it just passes through that era. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sky had gone expectantly black and there was thunder and lightening ! The woman and the child stood at the foot of the young man’s cross the child shaking with fear the woman talking beseeching as if there was someone else there. One of the Roman soldiers spat and said to no one in particular ” Who is she, she has dragged that child here, two steps behind this ‘King of the Jews ‘  since he left Pilots house.

Sofia was unaware of the weather and her surroundings she was there to support the man, the boy , the babe she had followed every step of his life. Except for his mother she was , of his followers the closest to him ….. and yet so far. The pain that had wrecked her body since that day in the market she now was sharing with the man.

She kept reaching out to touch just his foot but each time she did Gabriel or one of his brothers stepped forward to stab at her hand. She was bleeding from both hands and her shoulder where the angry angels had struck her. She spoke softly to the man asking for his forgiveness and offering to take on all his pain. The man had looked like  he had weakened once or twice but each time he went to speak to her Gabriel would lash out at her causing more blood to flow.

Suddenly as if awakening from a dream she knelt down to comfort the child. “Don’t worry Nadia , remember he has taught us all, that he is going to his father’s house and we too shall join him there.” The child looked into Sofia’s eyes and asked “why are you in so much pain? I don’t understand I am frightened!” Sobbing Nadia buried her head in Sofia’s cloak “why does he not listen to you, why do the others hurt you” Who” asked   Sofia shocked “what others” Wiping her eyes Nadia shouted angrily. “Those men in white with swords of fire and white wings and faces of stone when they look at you”  “It is a long story I shall tell you all” replied Sofia but not here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was mid afternoon in reality but the air was still, all around it was  as black as night up on the hill at  Calgary.  Sofia and Nadia still held their vigil the child crying for the man she had come to love who she and Sofia had shadowed faithfully over the last two years since her mother had died and she had found Sofia. Sofia though, her body shuddering in pain, was  crying for the world.

A group of women approached them, among them Mary the man’s mother and Mary Magdeline a well known whore who had given up all her hard earned wealth and her work to follow this  man. He had had that effect on lots of people and not only women, just look at his closest friends, twelve  of them known as the Apostles.  All fishermen from Galilee they had just up and left all to follow the young man.

As the group arrived they embraced Sofia and Nadia.  Mary thanked them for staying with her son. “He is still suffering ” said Sofia . As she spoke, Mary ( the mother) looked at Sofia she felt a strange feeling of recollection just out of reach. Then as Sofia bent forward to kiss her on the cheek recollections flooded into her head. “Sofia” she cried “it’s you, where have you been” Taking her hand Sofia replied ” I have been either at your side or one step behind you, I never left , you just did not see me.

Sofia told them that she must take the child away to rest , Mary held on to her hand  “please do not leave me again Sofia I need you” Sofia saw Gabriel over Mary’s shoulder his look was like stone but Sofia took her gaze from him and looking into Mary’s face she promised she would stay and  this time and she meant it!

Leading Nadia away Sofia made her way down the hill, as she passed the lead Centurion she whispered in his ear “Give the order to stab the “King of the Jews in the side”.  As they climbed down to the road Sofia heard the voice of the centurion barking out the order.

Relieved she held the child closer to her and whispered “He will join his father and his pain will all be gone”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previous Older Entries

Follow me on Twitter

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

Follow Us

like mercury colliding...

...moments of unexpected clarity

G-Bears Blog

Real Life - Hard Facts !

All in a Day's Breath

Art, Love of Life, Philosophy, Writing, Spirituality

Kevin Parish

Poetry, lyrics and other words...

Claire Ladds

Novelist and short story writer

adamdixonfiction

Short stories from a fiction addict

Write to Inspire

Lance Greenfield - Night Writer

Thoughts by Mello-Elo

Books, Poems, Stories...and a cup of coffee, or two!

Tent Stories

The untold tales of paths trodden, fears conquered and battles won.

Jemima Pett

Writing and reviews with an environmental, science fiction, and fantasy touch

My Colourful Life

Because Life is Colourful

Marian Wood

Aspiring Author and Poet

Ritu Bhathal

Author, Poet, Storyteller

besonian

musings on life, love, people, why we're here and where we're going

Author Steve Boseley - Half a Loaf of Fiction

Horror and Dark Fiction, and assorted other topics

Ben Naga

Gifts from the Musey Lady and Me. "Laissez-moi vous raconter ma vraie histoire."

A Unique Title For Me

Hoping to make the world more beautiful

Looking For The Light

Keep Moving Forward

M J Mallon YA/Paranormal Author

Kyrosmagica Publishing - The Magical Home of Books, Writing and Inspiration

Jane Dougherty Writes

About fantastical places and other stuff

chuffincat

By popular demand.

Art by Rob Goldstein

There is no common truth, but there are facts.

Thru Violet's Lentz

My view, tho' somewhat askew...

The Sound of One Hand Typing

Music, Musings, Memoir, and Madness

Savoring Sixty and Beyond

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16

Antonia Sara Zenkevitch

poetry, writings & rants; hope in the margins

SaylingAway

Shorts, Novels, and Other Things

Joy Lennick

Writing and Reading

The Swan Song

Words and Words are all I have!

EveryDay Wonders

my little soul corner- come and pop by!

The Silent Eye

A Modern Mystery School

TanGental

Writing, the Universe and whatever occurs to me

The Annual Bloggers Bash

The Official Website for the Best Blogging Event of the Year!

Just muddling through life

The ups and downs of a working mum

ThoughtsnLifeBlog

Our Thoughts Influence Our Life.

Iain Kelly

Fiction Writing

Roberta Writes

How you see life depends on how you look at things