It Hurts

Shoe laces taken

All she knows  shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

Corridors full of  eternal walkers

Going  nowhere, watched  by  stalkers.

Screams  erupt  so do  tussles

Held down by  ‘staff ‘ with muscles.

 

Nothing  stops  the pain  NOTHING

Smile  at  family  don’t  let  them see  the  bluffing.

It hurts, it  hurts  she  needs  to  bleed

A sacrifice  to the demon’s  seed.

 

Doors  slam locks  turn

Fears  grow behind  doors  souls burn

Help me  please help me

Blind eyes don’t see…………………….

 

Shoe laces taken

All she knows  shaken

Not  a  razor  or  knife in sight

Still  the pain sears  through  the night.

 

 

 

Over the Abyss : Day 12 Nano Poblano

Still, all around is still

The night is black the air is chill

The fear is harsh inside  my guts

White pain through out my soul erupts.

 

Lost, lost am I

Screaming soundlessly into the sky.

On the abyss I stand

The devil waits to take my hand.

 

No one, no one cares to save my soul

Not one prepared to keep me whole

The demons start to tear me limb from limb

They greedily draw my intestines from within.

 

No more is left of me

 

Just  my tortured Spirit entrapped , unfree

Gone  forever over the abyss

No one cares I am not missed

 

 

Lost Hope

What good are these wings  to me

They have never helped me to be free.

What use have I for these eyes

Pluck them out, ignore my plaintiff cries.

 

What need have I of  these arms

None, none if not for your charms

What use my soul what use  my heart

Your harsh  words have rent them in half.

 

What point  my life what hope have I

I am replete, forlorn I need to die.

What good these wings I ask you with a sigh

What good to me who  can no longer fly.

 

The captive soul

rope-1655780_1280.jpg

For years it fought against it’s thether

Yet the harder it fought the more it would wither.

It  caused itself so much pain,

Yearning for a freedom it never could gain.

Finally exhausted it decided one day

To no longer try to break away.

It decided that it should be what it should be.

So the soul stopped fighting, relaxed. Immediately it was set free.

 

 

Suicide

Wet beneath my feet

Fresh morning smell, sweet.

Light between the green leaves

Early warmth, my skin gratefully receives.

 

Light on the water sparkling

Blinding  my eyes, thoughts darkling.

Early  bird in to the blue yonder soars

Reaching the bridge  my agony roars!

alone-971122_1280.jpg

Pain pounding in my head

Negating all good things said.

Heart bursting ,feet bleeding brain screaming

Reaching the edge of the bridge blinded by tears streaming.

 

Running  now I need the release

Stepping off the side craving peace.

No more  pain, no more hurt no more grief.

Falling now, floating now I welcome this feeling of relief.

 

The water is ice cold

I flail a little but find nought to hold.

Silence, silence soft as silk and so pure.

Peace at last I can endure no more.

 

 

 

FanFoFeb: CRAMP!

ARGH! God no! It has  me by the foot it is crushing the bones of my feet

It is doing it both feet at once , this is anything but sweet.

My legs are twisting up and knotting the blood inside me is clotting.

My head is thumping like a hammer, and the sweat from me is dropping.

Every nerve  of mine starts to clammer , muscles jangling I start to stammer!

Now  my toes are turning turning upwards and  my fingers are all gnarled

My body is all cramped up , screwed and completely defiled!

FanFoFeb : Undying Love.

It is love  eternal, love undying

Millennia  after millennia of pain and crying.

So deep the scars of love were carved

A million years since his last breath and she is still scarred.

 

Oh! she bleeds

Dragging  around in widows’ weeds

The pain is constant it never stops

Her tears are huge  they sting like acid drops.

 

Yes  she knows she must survive

A force  not human keeps her alive.

Damn her heart it will not stop  beating beating

Like a lamb to the slaughter bleating bleating.

 

It was not to be like this

She was promised eternal bliss

The figure dark, one like her

He had warned her to have a care.

 

Suicide  was the only way

For the lovers to be together for forever and a day.

They made the pact by pale moonlight

He was to run them both through with her sword but he did not do it right.

 

She  had told him what to do

She told good and true

The sword must run from her to him

Her blood would make an immortal of  him.

 

Sadly by his  own mistake

It was his life  first that he did take.

Their blood too late was intermingled

As his soul escaped  the first pain of grief began to tingle .

 

Oh! she bleeds

Dragging  around in widows’ weeds

The pain is constant it never stops

Her tears are huge  they sting like acid drops.

This  poem  was inspired  by Bear, read her poem here  it is beautiful and so worth reading. 

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Post on your site, and join FanFoFeb . The rules are easy!

1. It’s never too late to join in, since the “FanFoFeb   Fantasy for February lasts all month . (it doesn’t have to be a post) counts as a “post.” If it makes it to WordPress that day, great! If it waits a week to get from the sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. If you write a FanFoFeb  . post on your blog, you can ping it back to the above link to make sure everyone participating knows where to find it.
3. Write anything!
4. Have fun!

 

 

JusJoJan: What are we doing?

If this offends you look away, you may

Not like what I have to show you or what I  have to say.

So many people tapped  in pain and fear

So  many souls asking  us for help loud and clear.

 

Wonderful people in the evening of their lives

Lonely and neglected, lost souls, lost husbands, lost wives.

Easy pickings  for bullying evil staff

Ignoring their charges, at their pain they just laugh.

 

Teenagers starving themselves into ghosts

Believing the  thinner  they grow they will be acceptable to the heavenly hosts.

Their parents sins telling on them

Young tortured souls punishing themselves again and again.

 

Couples caught in merciless arguing rounds

Pulling each other deeper, deeper under ground.

Desperate and  hopeless attacking themselves.

 Cutting  and  bleeding into themselves deeper they delve

 

What are we doing how can all this come to pass

Blood  being let from veins  by scissors and glass.

Ignored,  neglected, forgotten brushed under the carpet

Look away now, pretend it’s not real. God help you pet.

No? this is none of your  doing? so don’t worry or fret!

Agony

Hiding in the corners basking in the dark,

It is waiting there to get me, more vicious than the Quark.

Stitching me up and lashing closed my eyes

Slimy slimy fingers creeping up my thighs!

 

Sharp sharp fingernails ripping off my clothes

Crawling into me via all orifices in they filthy dirty droves.

Churning up my stomach making me heave  and vomit crud

Ripping up my insides and boiling up my blood.

 

Slithering across my skin leaving silver trails

Kicking and punching me until I give in and let forth wails.

Giving me no quarter cutting me no slack

Agony is stalking  me and smashing in my back!

Sofia

Today I have posted part of the book I would like to write, there is a larger section on it’s own page Sofia : How it all began. It is about a fallen angel . Her struggle to get back to heaven, it is not religious  it just passes through that era. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sky had gone expectantly black and there was thunder and lightening ! The woman and the child stood at the foot of the young man’s cross the child shaking with fear the woman talking beseeching as if there was someone else there. One of the Roman soldiers spat and said to no one in particular ” Who is she, she has dragged that child here, two steps behind this ‘King of the Jews ‘  since he left Pilots house.

Sofia was unaware of the weather and her surroundings she was there to support the man, the boy , the babe she had followed every step of his life. Except for his mother she was , of his followers the closest to him ….. and yet so far. The pain that had wrecked her body since that day in the market she now was sharing with the man.

She kept reaching out to touch just his foot but each time she did Gabriel or one of his brothers stepped forward to stab at her hand. She was bleeding from both hands and her shoulder where the angry angels had struck her. She spoke softly to the man asking for his forgiveness and offering to take on all his pain. The man had looked like  he had weakened once or twice but each time he went to speak to her Gabriel would lash out at her causing more blood to flow.

Suddenly as if awakening from a dream she knelt down to comfort the child. “Don’t worry Nadia , remember he has taught us all, that he is going to his father’s house and we too shall join him there.” The child looked into Sofia’s eyes and asked “why are you in so much pain? I don’t understand I am frightened!” Sobbing Nadia buried her head in Sofia’s cloak “why does he not listen to you, why do the others hurt you” Who” asked   Sofia shocked “what others” Wiping her eyes Nadia shouted angrily. “Those men in white with swords of fire and white wings and faces of stone when they look at you”  “It is a long story I shall tell you all” replied Sofia but not here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was mid afternoon in reality but the air was still, all around it was  as black as night up on the hill at  Calgary.  Sofia and Nadia still held their vigil the child crying for the man she had come to love who she and Sofia had shadowed faithfully over the last two years since her mother had died and she had found Sofia. Sofia though, her body shuddering in pain, was  crying for the world.

A group of women approached them, among them Mary the man’s mother and Mary Magdeline a well known whore who had given up all her hard earned wealth and her work to follow this  man. He had had that effect on lots of people and not only women, just look at his closest friends, twelve  of them known as the Apostles.  All fishermen from Galilee they had just up and left all to follow the young man.

As the group arrived they embraced Sofia and Nadia.  Mary thanked them for staying with her son. “He is still suffering ” said Sofia . As she spoke, Mary ( the mother) looked at Sofia she felt a strange feeling of recollection just out of reach. Then as Sofia bent forward to kiss her on the cheek recollections flooded into her head. “Sofia” she cried “it’s you, where have you been” Taking her hand Sofia replied ” I have been either at your side or one step behind you, I never left , you just did not see me.

Sofia told them that she must take the child away to rest , Mary held on to her hand  “please do not leave me again Sofia I need you” Sofia saw Gabriel over Mary’s shoulder his look was like stone but Sofia took her gaze from him and looking into Mary’s face she promised she would stay and  this time and she meant it!

Leading Nadia away Sofia made her way down the hill, as she passed the lead Centurion she whispered in his ear “Give the order to stab the “King of the Jews in the side”.  As they climbed down to the road Sofia heard the voice of the centurion barking out the order.

Relieved she held the child closer to her and whispered “He will join his father and his pain will all be gone”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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