JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 8th Self.

Our prompt for JusJoJan 2019, January 8th is brought to you by Ritu! Click here to find her last post and say hi while you’re there! Ritu’s word for our prompt today is “self.” Use it anywhere in your post or make it the theme of your post. Have fun!

This took me an age to work out but after a while it came to me in the form of my present self giving my younger self some advice I would of appreciated or maybe not , who knows.

Anyway it’s an Etheree and I have tried to use the word self at least once in each line.

Self

Self worth

Not selfish

Know yourself well

My dear younger self

Do not sell yourself light

As I sold myself well short

No we cannot change ourselves yet

I as your older self will tell you

Know yourself, your self worth, be always kind.

One-Liner Wednesday. Advice.

Now I don’t want to tell you what to do but! If I were you I’d do……

Someone very close to me!

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One Liner Wednesday:Adams Advice

One  for  all of  us bloggers/ writers.

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If We Were Having Coffee – August 16/2015: Guest Post

The  New  Patient

Paul your Barista

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul; I’ll be your barista today. I’m happy to see you have come for a cuppa and a chat. Please come into the garden and make yourself comfortable. Willow fluffed the cushions on the chairs and set the tables in the garden so we can have a cuppa and chat as we soak up the sun and enjoy the beautiful plants. As usual, I’d be pleased to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy our world-wide readership. Also available is a large selection of spirits for addition to your cuppa or in its place. We can relax amongst the flowers while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

Raw home video of Tianjin Explosions (two explosions)

Things here have been relatively normal this week. The newspaper headlines are about political corruption, housing figures, Islamaphobia, oil prices, all topics that are ongoing and talked to death. Oh, there was the terrible explosion and fire in Tianjin, an industrial port city close to Beijing. So far 85 have been reported dead and hundreds injured. As terrible as it was, it seems from the reports that it was a simple case of illegally storing hazardous chemicals and poor communication that combined to turn a small incident into a disaster. Firefighters reported to a small blaze in a chemical storage facility and sprayed water on chemicals that explode in the presence of water. Things got progressively worse from there. Combine that with the fact the chemicals were stored close to homes – which is illegal in China, they are required by law to be no closer than 1 kilometer to residences – and you have a disaster. Like the other concerns of the week that I listed above, it was a matter of a few individuals trying to benefit personally at the expense others, an age old human behaviour. Nothing really worth discussing there.

Would you like a refill of your cuppa? Perhaps a sweet? So, I ran into a another new dialysis patient this week – Jackie. She is about my age and her husband passed away a few years ago. Para-Transpo has put together recently for our ride back home as she lives in a residence on the way back to my place. Jackie has diabetes as well as kidney failure – not an uncommon combination. She was pretty depressed the other day when I met her and had skipped a few dialysis treatments. As much as one gets upset and sometimes can’t face dialysis (and I have done the same) there is a price to pay. Too much fluid aboard and an overburden of blood waste products as well as an electrolyte imbalance, all add up to a miserable (if not dangerous) existence. That in turn makes you more depressed and less likely to do further treatments. Anyway she was dealing with an infection as well and was on pain killers. She had asked the doctor on call to up her pain prescription (dialysis often aggravates nerve pain) and he had refused. She didn’t elaborate – there could have been very good reasons for his refusal – but she was still upset by that as well.

When I saw her Wednesday night she was particularly down and had an operation scheduled for 6:30 am, the next morning to install a fistula in her arm for dialysis. She said she was too depressed to go. I convinced her that she should go anyway, that it was her depression talking. The anger and dollars it would cost if she didn’t show up when an operating room, a surgeon, an anesthesiologist, nurses, technicians, equipment, etc were all ready and waiting would cause serious repercussions. When I told her that the system cost would likely be greater than $10,000, she was taken aback – we never see cost for health care. Besides which the doctors would be angry and take her less seriously. They are professional and her care would be fine but they would not be as attentive and special requests like getting forms signed and such would be more difficult. She agreed to go. While we were talking outside emergency, the pick-up point, a Para Transpo bus came and the driver – Guy – and I greeted each other by name. Guy said that he wasn’t here for us and went inside to find his customer. Jackie and I both had 11:30 pm pick-up times and it was early – only about 10:50 pm. A few minutes later, as we were talking another Para bus pulled up. This one was driven by Caesar – a Hawaiian from Oahu – who is very outgoing. He walked over and shook hands and told us he was supposed to pick up two others and then come back for us at 11:30. I asked if we could go with him now and save him a trip back and he was fine with that. He loaded his other two customers – one was a wheel chair – as Jackie and I climbed aboard. I greeted the other two – Norm in the wheel chair and Cynthia on foot. I’ve been in dialysis for about 9 years and I’ve known, who is a bit younger than I am, since the beginning. He has gotten progressively worse since I’ve known him going from ambulatory to a walker to a wheel chair and then with one leg amputated and then before he could learn to walk on a prosthetic, the other leg amputated. He is sad these days and doesn’t speak much. He still lives on his own in an apartment that has been modified for his wheel chair.

Jackie was quite taken aback that I knew the drivers and the other patients and she asked if I knew everyone. Ha! I told her that 9 years of dialysis does that. We dropped off Norm and Cynthia while Jackie and I talked. She lives in a privately owned assisted living residence that has 4 persons per room and provides meals. The state pays the owners $1,600 per month for each resident. This is considerably more than I get on disability to live on my own.The residence is 3 stories high and has about 75 people living there. According to her the owner drives an expensive sports car and comes to visit occasionally. I would imagine that this is a profitable enterprise for the owners. As the population ages there are more and more demand for such assisted living facilities and they are being provided by private enterprise. I guess I can’t fault them for making a profit and yet they are charging about 25% more than I get to live on my own – and the tenants live 4 to a room. Jackie got off at her residence at 11:30 – early because we had travelled with the 11 pm customers. A few minutes later I was home and making a coffee while my computer started up.

Presland Residence

On that note, that’s about all we have room for this week, so it’s time to settle in with another cuppa and enjoy the garden. Sweets anyone? Please join me in thanking Willow for her invitation to tea. We are all honored that you dropped by today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. Willow is over there serving her guests and chatting it up. Let’s go see how she is today. Have a great week. We look forward to seeing you back here for sweets and beverages of your choice again next week.

And of course  the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time  Monster  and Gene’O’s

Careful what you wish for.

IMG_20150616_110125444_HDRIt is  all hidden  in  there  you know

The   promise  of a  golden life

Teasing  and  hinting  as the beauty grows

Would  it  not be  better  to  stay here  not  emerge  to strife.

 

Not  yet has  the harsh  cruelness  of  this  world  touched  you

Maybe  the present  safety you know is better  than  the  what is  to come

So  don’t  hurry  out  too soon  nothing  will be as you expect. True

The  warmth is  beguiling  as are the  silver diamonds of  the  moon  and  the golden rays of  the sun.

IMG_20150616_110144384_HDR

When life comes it is  glorious  but  short too  short.

If We Were Having Coffee – June 13/2015 :Guest Post

The New Patient

Afternoon Tea

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul, I’ll be your barista today. I’m happy to see you have come for a cuppa and a chat. Please come into the garden and make yourself comfortable. Willow has put out the cushions on the chairs and set the table under the canopy so we can have a cuppa and chat. As usual, I’d be pleased to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy our world-wide readership. Also available is a large selection of spirits for addition to your cuppa or in its place. We can relax amongst the flowers while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

Friday evening I walked into dialysis in a good mood – humming under my breath. I was early and my chair was empty, which meant I could take my time and arrange the chair and sheets and pillows to my liking while I got ready for treatment. My regular position is adjacent to the nursing station and admin area. They will often line up in-patients on stretchers or wheelchairs next to the desk and tonight was no exception. Most times the patients are either lost in their own thoughts, asleep or in pain. Tonight as I walked by the station a gentleman on a stretcher called out to me and asked if I was a dialysis patient. I answered in the affirmative and walked over to lean on the desk next to him. He asked how long I had been a patient and I told him 8 years. He told me that this was his veryfirst dialysis. He was in his late forties and had an air of authority about him. He showed me the perm catheter they had installed for dialysis – the usual starting point for new patients. I showed him the scar where my original perm cath had been installed, and then my fistula. I asked how long he would have to be on dialysis (some patients have temporary treatment during times of kidney infection or other issues) and he told me he was a permanent patient. He wanted to know about the treatment and pain control and worst side effects. I, in turn, emphasized that the dialysis personnel, nursing and admin strived to make the unit feel like a safe place for the patients and he should speak up if he had any concerns or questions or felt any pain. I could feel that he was understandably nervous and I worked to assuage his concerns. I tried hard not to lie to him and simultaneously not to alarm him. And he was asking questions about far future events – questions that made it clear to me that he didn’t quite get this yet. Dialysis treatment is not a fix for a problem that puts things back on course- dialysis is an alternative to death and so there are continual and recurring issues that pop up like dominoes falling. The train of his life had just made a turn at a switch and would never again be on the original track – as much as he could temporarily still see the original track, he would never return to it.

Would you like another cuppa while we chat? Perhaps a sweet? I hadn’t really noticed my change in attitude over the years as I slowly came to realize that what happens next isn’t really important – what happens now is the most important. Focus on now and everything else will eventually work out. When I spoke to Ken, it was like looking back in time and speaking to myself 8 years ago. It was an interesting conversation. I had always griped about the doctors and staff not being open about warning of the coming future, but now as I stood in front of this frightened man who was seeing all his life’s plans and his future change, I couldn’t help but edit my own words to remove the coming angst. There was no way that in his frame of mind he would have been able to properly process those words. I wonder, does that make me hypocritical? Here I was doing thevery same thing that I most detested in others.

The nurses came to roll Ken to his dialysis and one nurse, Tau, quipped that I should write a book. I teased her that I would be sure to include the night she hit the back of my dialysis machine with a stretcher, breaking off a water line and creating Lake H (H is the dialysis unit). She laughed so hard she turned beet red. Ken and I exchanged good-byes, leaving me thoughtful. I hope that I gave him some small amount of peace about his coming life without omitting too much or alarming him. It’s a fine balance. I learned a lot about myself in that conversation with Ken.

On that note, that’s about all we have room for this week, so it’s time to settle in with another cuppa and enjoy the garden. Sweets anyone? Please join me in thanking Willow for her invitation to tea. We are all honored that you dropped by today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. Willow is over there serving her guests and chatting it up. Let’s go see how she is today. Have a great week. We look forward to seeing you back here for sweets and beverages of your choice again next week.

Homemade Pink Cupcakes Await a Birthday Tea at School for a Young Girl’s Sixth Birthday Photo by : Belinda Borradaile

And of course  the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time  Monster  and Gene’O’s

Lost Faith Found

Tell me hope what brings  you so low

What is  this grief  that has  brought you so.

Why  have you forsaken the meaning of  your name

Can you not see that brings on you the darkest  shame.

 

I am broken I am lost  I am too tired to go on

I carried the the world and its angst for too long.

Once my darling  Faith on my left did stand

Upon my right  was Charity who held my hand.

 

But why dear Hope have you given in.

Without you, despair and grief will win.

You cannot forsake this world

No matter the trials that at you are hurled.

 

I am exhausted I can not go on

Without Faith and Charity it all seems wrong.

I weep for  me and I weep for the world

I weep for my wings I can no longer unfurl.

 

Listen Hope you must  not loose Faith  or Charity

You  belong together, you make a trinity.

I believe that they are both near

You can reach them if you ignore  your fear.

 

I don’t know if I can trust you or if what you say is true .

Can you give me a sign, can you show  me what to do.

If Faith and Charity are near

Show  me how to bring them here

 

Here sweet Hope take  my hand

Feel who I am , then you will understand.

Put all your belief in me

Accept  my love and  Faith and Charity.

Please Hope  don’t  give in keep within the trinity

Find  strength in Faith,Hope and Charity.

 

Now you are a Dad

Now  you have a son

Your work has  just  begun

You have  a lot  to learn

But  that  should  not  course you concern.

 

You’ll rush home  from work

To bath Max. You will not shirk

Your  duties as a father  that I know

You will delight  in him as you watch  him grow.

 

Now there will be feeding,  burping and nappies  to change

Pacing  the floor at night, at first  that will be strange.

It may  not plain  sailing it  may  not  be  all fun

But  it is  they stuff of life  so make  the most of Max my Son.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

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