Depression | willowdot21

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Aug. 13, 2022

13 Aug 2022 33 Comments

by willowdot21 in #Haiku, #Senryu, #Haiga, #Tanka, #Tanka Prose, #micropoetry, #poetry, #5lines, #Haibun, #Prose, #CinquainPoetry, #Etheree, #Nonet, #Shadorma, #Gogyoka, Depression, loss, love, memories, Music, SoCs Tags: death, Death of a relationship, LindaGHill, murder, sadness

Hi Its Saturday and time for our prompt from Linda . Thus week she said : Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is starts with “u.” Find a word that starts with the letter “u” and use it however you’d like. Bonus points if it’s the first word in your post. Enjoy!

Underneath .

Underneath the path lies a secret
Layer upon layer of grief
Under the damp scented loam
As above feet do roam.
Unloved , unknown
Lost for evermore
Cold, never
To be
Found .

Underneath : Alanis Morissette.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 30, 2022

30 Jul 2022 38 Comments

It’s Saturday again , yesterday we received our prompt for SoCs from LindaGHill she said : Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “wash/awash.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you like. Bonus points for using both. Enjoy!

Awash, I am awash, scared of drowning, please throw me a line.
Feelings of fear and insecurity wash over me and I am sinking. I am caught in a whirlpool of hurt. I am afraid of my own shadow.
I see dismissal in every look a snub here a blank there.
I feel darkness creeping back washing over me I am awash with hopelessness.

part of LindaGHill’s One-Liner Wednesday

Ronovan Writes Sijo Wednesday Poetry Challenge #19. Use DREAMS as your inspiration this week.

20 Jul 2022 10 Comments

by willowdot21 in #Haiku, #Senryu, #Haiga, #Tanka, #Tanka Prose, #micropoetry, #poetry, #5lines, #Haibun, #Prose, #CinquainPoetry, #Etheree, #Nonet, #Shadorma, #Gogyoka, Depression, inspiration, loss, love, memories, Ronovanwrites, Sijo Tags: dream, Japanese poetry, Vietnamese poetry

I watched them turn to dust, broken now no more than rust.
Like a show repeated, stolen from me and how I feel cheated.
In waking times they haunt me still, I want to banish them I’ve had my fill.

Ronovan Writes Sijo Challenge Image — Ronovanwrite’s

40 words
47 syllables.

part of Ronovanwrite’s Weekly Sijo Challenge.

Anger.

18 Jul 2022 27 Comments

by willowdot21 in Depression, rant, Talking Straight Tags: anger, stress

This is an old poem I have reviewed and revamped and I hope made it stronger

image from here

Anger is nasty, harsh and mean
Anger is aggressive always causing a scene.
Anger is childish demanding attention
Anger, kicking out, smashing all convention.

Laughing when you break down and cry
Never giving a shit nor will it
explain why.
Growing in the dark, feeding on insecurities and hate
Ever feeding on panic it can never sate

Ripping away at your innards growing a pace.
It laughs at you as you fall from grace.

Anger is ever present spoiling all it touches
Anger, a vicious bitch kicking away your crutches.
Anger a cancer chewing at your bowel
Never flinching however much you howl.

Ripping away at your innards growing a pace.
It laughs at you as you fall from grace.

Anger is a malicious back stabbing snide
It will rip you apart and toss you to one side.
Anger will suck your blood and gnaw on your bone
It will drain you of life and dump lost and alone.

Ripping away at your innards growing a pace.
It laughs at you as you fall from grace.

Anger ever present stripping the good away
Never gives in, chipping away at you night and day
Growing and gathering momentum consuming you from within
Dripping viscous poison in your ear whilst wearing a grin

Ripping away at your innards growing a pace.
It laughs at you as you fall from grace.

Recoiling from kindness and light
It feeds on your soul by day and night.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 11, 2022 No picture from Nowhere.

11 Jun 2022 53 Comments

by willowdot21 in #Haiku, #Senryu, #Haiga, #Tanka, #Tanka Prose, #micropoetry, #poetry, #5lines, #Haibun, #Prose, #CinquainPoetry, #Etheree, #Nonet, #Shadorma, #Gogyoka, Depression, feeling unwell, SoCs Tags: Blar blar blar, LindaGHill, No picture from Nowhere

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “a picture from wherever.” When you sit down to write your post, find a picture, whether in a magazine, newspaper, or even product packaging. Write whatever thought or emotion the picture provokes. Enjoy!

Well there are no books or newspapers near me and I have spent time thinking where can I find one and in all truth that is not in the spirit of SoCs is it. So today for once I am not even going to attempt to comply with the rules! Yup shock horror! I just can’t be bothered. I wonder if it’s the Covid or just me but I don’t feet right and I feel depressed.. I can usually hide it but not today… No I feel blar blur and I going to drown in it! Let it wash over me and give up for today and just hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Lurking in shadows
Vicious snapping at my heels
Lethargy appears
Sucking me into the black
Too tired to put up a fight

THIS IS PART OF LINDAGHILL’S STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS SATURDAY.

Torment.

25 Apr 2022 27 Comments

by willowdot21 in #Haiku, #Senryu, #Haiga, #Tanka, #Tanka Prose, #micropoetry, #poetry, #5lines, #Haibun, #Prose, #CinquainPoetry, #Etheree, #Nonet, #Shadorma, #Gogyoka, Depression, feeling unwell, loss, love, sadness Tags: Depression, frustration, madness, Torement

google images

It rages in my head
It’s hunger goes unfed.
Crawling like an almighty dread,
Screaming, groaning, clawing at my head.

The need and greed consumes me,
It ripples through my brain
Pushing me beyond the brink of pain.
To lift me high then dash me down again .

They crawl and grab
They lunge and stab.
Body to body soul to soul
They creep through my head to reach their goal.

They grapple they bite and suck.
I cry and curse my luck.
The sword fights the cross
It starts to burn
Thundering through my head I yearn.

To be eased, appeased
Sated and pleased.
Barren dried out and teased.
It is eating me up never letting me rest.
I need it, I demand it this is not a request.
It’s driving me mad
Making me sad.
I anger my friends and strangers think I’m mad.

It is gnawing me, goring me,
Splitting me in two
They all creep inside me what am I to do.
Help me, help me I am going mad
Oh! just forget it, it’s all so freaking sad!

Song Lyric Sound. April 24, 2022 – Feelings.

24 Apr 2022 18 Comments

by willowdot21 in Depression, loss, love, Music, sadness, song challenges, Song Lyric Sunday, songs Tags: anger, Anxiety, Delight, emotions, Jim Adams, pain, Pensitivity101, relief

Its Sunday again 😮and time for Jim Adam’s Song Lyric Sunday April 24, 2022 – Di of pensitivity101 has suggested Anxiety, Delight, Emotions, Pain, Pride, Relief !

First up I chose Somebody that I used to know by Goyte. I really love this song I believe it embodies all the emotions that Di mentions in her prompt except herhaps delight! We have all had times were we have stayed in a relationship too long just existing, only to be relieved by the other person saying let’s end it and stay friends. Then they cut you off completely and that really hurts however much you pretend it doesn’t because it tamples over your pride and emotions.

“Somebody That I Used to Know” is a song by Belgian-Australian singer-songwriter Gotye, featuring New Zealand singer Kimbra. The song was released in Australia and New Zealand by Eleven Music on 5 July 2011 as the second single from Gotye’s third studio album, Making Mirrors (2011). It was later released by Universal Music in December 2011 in the United Kingdom, and 20 January 2012 in the United States and Ireland. “Somebody That I Used to Know” was written and recorded by Gotye at his parents’ house on the Mornington Peninsula in Victoria, Australia, and is lyrically related to the experiences he has had with relationships.

Commercially, “Somebody That I Used to Know” was a global success and became both artists’ signature song. It reached atop of the charts in the US, UK, Australia and New Zealand, as well as 25 other official charts, and reached the top 10 in more than 30 countries around the world. It was the most commercially successful song of 2011 in Flanders (Belgium), the most successful song of 2012 in Wallonia (Belgium), Canada, Israel, the UK, and the US, and the most successful song of the 2010s decade by an Australian artist in Australia. It is certified Multiplatinum in ten countries, including Diamond in Australia. The song has sold more than 13 million copies worldwide, becoming one of the best-selling digital singles of all time. In addition to the Hot 100, it was also placed at the top of Billboard‘s year-end Adult Pop Songs and Alternative Songs charts and many other charts around the world. More information here.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done
And I don’t wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know…

Somebody
I used to know
Somebody
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
Somebody
I used to know
Somebody
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
I used to know
That I used to know
I used to know
Somebody…

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Walter De Backer / Luiz Bonfa

Somebody That I Used to Know lyrics © Unichappell Music Inc., Op Shop Songs Pty Ltd.

*******

Again all the emotions are here. When one word that terrible argument in the early hours that escalates to violence , anger, fear everything except delight again.

Its Immie, my favourite with The Moment I said it.

*******

Now I must find some delight. Well I have chosen Avenue Beat with Delight for no other reason than I like it and it fits the bill and after the first two songs we need something cheery 💜💜

Avenue Beat was an American girl group from Quincy, Illinois, composed of members Sami Bearden, Savana Santos and Sam Backoff. Backoff and Santos were friends growing up and met Bearden at a theater camp in high school. The trio then began traveling back and forth to Nashville where they became based. The group got signed to The Valory Music Co. and Tape Room Records. In September 2021, Sami Bearden parted ways with the band after deciding she no longer wanted to pursue a music career. On October 15, 2021, Avenue Beat disbanded following the release of their first and final album, The Debut Farewell Album, with Santos and Backoff citing that they wanted to support their friend and did not want to continue the band without Bearden.

Delight”

Do you know how much it took for me?
To tell you that I think you’re fine as hell
And do you wanna grab a bite to eat?
I got this coupon to taco bell
You say you can’t right now and when I ask you why
You finally let it out, you say I’m not your type

But I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more bite than a California Zoo
And if you ask my momma she gonna tell you the truth
That I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more pop than a shook up mountain dew
If that’s not what you like
There must be something wrong with you
Cuz I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight

I see my family every holiday
That’s when they love to wreck my self-esteem
Ask me why I never bring a date
I think the first verse covered everything
Say I need a real job
I tell them all, please
I get to sing my songs and everybody thinks

I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more bite than a California Zoo
And if you ask my momma she gonna tell you the truth
That I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more pop than a shook up mountain dew
If that’s not what you like
There must be something wrong with you
Cuz I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight

Got the high score on Pacman at the arcade
I can still get a sunburn sitting in the shade
I’m pretty much the best at acting out charades
If anybody asks me, I’m gonna say

I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more bite than a California Zoo
And if you ask my momma she gonna tell you the truth
That I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I got more pop than a shook up mountain dew
If that’s not what you like
There must be
Something wrong with you
Cuz I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight
I’m a freakin’ delight.

AtoZ Lyrics

HAPPY Sunday Everyone 💜

The Warrior Within. Revised.

17 Apr 2022 34 Comments

by willowdot21 in Depression, feeling unwell, History, inspiration, memories, Poems Tags: Fear, pain, strength

Today ten years after I originally wrote this poem, the reluctant poet read my poem The warrior within. I originally wrote this poem in 2012 when I was on the road to recovery after breaking my back for the second time! I visited that post and I have rewritten it here. Thanks to the reluctant poet for reminding me of those hard day’s.

THE WARRIOR WITHIN.

I shall not run I shall not hide,

I’ll face the void with eyes open wide.

I shall call up my warrior from within

And hone my sword, the battle to begin.

If I must make sense of what is my worth.

I shall do it now and justify my birth..

Each time the void comes for me

I make the mistake of trying to flee.

Why do this time after time, the path is futile

I end up broken, spent and feeling vile.

I shall not flinch this time. I will win

I will answer for every sin.

I see the void approaching swirling round,

My lies and fears creep towards me on the ground.

I start to shake terror grips my insides,

I call up my inner warrior from whence she hides.

With flaming hair of my youth and body strong and straight

She takes on the terrors sending them to hell’s gate.

From deep inside I find the strength , that others knew I owned,

Sword in hand my bravery returns , refined and truly honed.

I see you disillusion, I see you hopelessness, I see you despair.

I face you now as a warrier you need to take care.

I stand and look you in the eye

I will not flee I will not fly.

I see you and I know you are me

Yet given time I can make something more of thee.

The warrior within.

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS March 19, 2022

19 Mar 2022 20 Comments

by willowdot21 in #Haiku, #Senryu, #Haiga, #Tanka, #Tanka Prose, #micropoetry, #poetry, #5lines, #Haibun, #Prose, #CinquainPoetry, #Etheree, #Nonet, #Shadorma, #Gogyoka, Depression, loss, photos, Poems, SoCs Tags: Compassion, end of the world, four horsemen of the Apocalypse, LindaGHill, refugees, War

It’s Saturday and time for LindaGHill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week Linda has said “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “comp.” Find a word that starts with or contains “comp” and use it in your post. Enjoy!”

Compassion?

Comfort us in our hour of need
Open your eyes and ears, take heed
Mindfulness is needed in the world
Pain and grief like weapons hurled.
All the woes of this vale of tears
Sirens and bullets raise their fears
Sweet Jesus give them hope
In you we trust , help them cope.
Oh! the Horsemen love our pain.
Now they’re here they’ll not leave again. .