Seriously, Another Year.

Death sat alone in an empty pub, everywhere he went this happened, he’d come in everyone else would leave. Such a shame he thought sipping his pint and watching it drip right through to the carpet….. so embarrassing!

The door flew open with an almighty gust of wind blowing in dust and tumble weed, very unusual for Brixton. Three hooded and cloaked figures entered “Hey man this is a step up from that coffee bar we met in last time” shouted Plague as he sat down and picked up the lager death had ordered for him on the pub app. “How have you been ” asked Death.

“Actually I have been so busy, as busy as you mate, yup it’s been a great couple of years! “

Famine sat down to his Guinness, the food on his plate turn to mush as he breathed on it. “Cheers Death I’m starving and parched.”.

Death nodded as War came in the sound of fighting and gunshot could be heard from the street, hi big man I’ve been busy too handy with Plague here, grabbing all the headlines I can do loads of damage.

Death moved his sythe and war jumped up waiving an AK-47 at him, Death gave him a withering look and said, “Don’t threaten me, you’ll only come off worse! ” War sat down.

“Tell me” asked Famine whose poked Mother Nature she’s in a foul mood, floods, fires, earthquakes, record hurricanes and tornadoes, not to mention climate change. Is she joining us today. ”

“No” Death replied “She’s too busy fighting back, sick of these humans leaching off of her. She sent you her regards Plague and says you’re doing a great job.”

The unfortunate barman came across to the table when Death beckoned to him, “Another round young man and packet of crisps for my friend Famine here! “

The barman, was all at once exhausted, ready for a fight, starving and showing all the main symptoms for covid, returned to the bar and poured these oddly unquieting customers their drinks. As he came back he tripped on Famine’s shopping nearly spilling the drinks. ” Mind the toilet rolls ” Famine snapped. The other three turned and looked at him and as one asked “Seriously”

As they left the barman collapsed, a riot broke out on the streets of Brixton, all the food shops, even Waitrose had their shelves cleared by starving people. Death sighed and set to collecting the dead , a never ending task which pained him. Suddenly his mobile rang

“Hello God here, I see you are all there”

“Yes we’ve been here a while Sir.”

“I know, I suppose you want an apocalypse now?”

“Not really Sir”

“Well you’re not really giving me much choice are you?”

“And a happy New Year to you too Sir”

Death turned his phone off and headed back to the pub, when he arrived it was packed .