He’s Out There ln The Garden.

Today is my brother in law’s Birthday. He probably doesn’t know it because he has Alzheimer’s/ Dementia.

My sister looked after him at home for as long as she could but he is now in a home, his condition got too difficult for her to cope with.

I have written quite a few poems on his and others sharing this plight. In his honour and all carers and sufferers I have taken two of my poems and reworked them into one.

Happy Birthday John. Β© willowdot21

*********

He is out in the garden with the secateurs again
The flowers are looking nervous and hoping it will rain.

The airing cupboard is wearing a smile
He’s is busy elsewhere so it has peace for a while.

We need to eat, it must be time for dinner.
We have just eaten, have a biscuit, that’s always a winner.

How cruel, how mean, how so unkind
To leave a feeble body and take a beautiful mind.

There are no words that can truly describe
The pain and fear of those trapped, dead, yet still alive.

You can not reason, they know no rhyme
They are gone from us left behind.

The tiny flashes of a knowing eye is just a mockery
Your loved one is no longer who they used to be.

Screams of anger, voices harsh with fists of hate
You try so hard, you have so much on your plate.

There is no more that you can in all honesty do
They may be gone. Can you hold your patience and to their love be true.

He is out in the garden with the secateurs again
The flowers are looking nervous and hoping it will rain.

70 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. beth
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 09:34:52

    so moving

    Reply

  2. myexpressionofthoughtsblog
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 09:44:44

    Touchy and heartfelt post. Health and age one have no control

    Reply

  3. πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ί Bee Halton
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 09:52:55

    I used to do two work experiences in care homes and experienced how hard this illness is both for those who have to live with it and their famies and friends. It breaks my heart everytime I think of it.
    Your words bring it exactly to the point. Thanks for sharing and happy birthday John πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Oct 03, 2020 @ 09:58:35

      He would be delighted Bee, if he knew. It is very sad isn’t it. Thank you for reading and your birthday wishes. When you meet this type big illness first hand it cannot help but to touch you.
      How are you today… exhausted πŸ’œ

      Reply

      • πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ί Bee Halton
        Oct 04, 2020 @ 09:06:07

        It does touch you deeply. One lady saw me coming, and the home’s manager was there too. So the lady took my hand looked at the manager and said: “Look what a lovely thing I found” I always had a little chat with her and a smile lit her face even though she hardly understood anymore what I was saying. I never forgot her, and it makes my chest tight to think of her and anyone who lives with the condition. And I am a fan of Terry Pratchett who suffered from an incredibly aggressive version. Tragic.

        I am astonishingly fit. It is nowhere near as straining as chemo.

        Have a happy Sunday despite everything πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

      • willowdot21
        Oct 04, 2020 @ 11:07:26

        Some people stay in our minds and hearts don’t they, even if we did not know them very well. I am under no illusion in thinking you made a huge difference to her life. Locked in her own mind she liked you and that matters. I too am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett’s writing. All our boys loved his books. My favourite was the book of Bad Omens.
        It’s great that the Radiotherapy is going well let’s hope it continues that way .πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

      • πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ί Bee Halton
        Oct 04, 2020 @ 11:28:48

        Oh, I love “Good Omens” and enjoyed the series with David Tennant and Michael Sheen too. I found they stayed very close to the book. Do you like sci-fi? Then you would like Pratchett’s “Long Earth” series that he co-wrote with Baxter too.

      • willowdot21
        Oct 04, 2020 @ 12:21:49

        I have not watched the series of Good Omens yet I will now as you have recommend it. Also I had better get hold of Long Earth. As I do love SiFi.

      • πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ί Bee Halton
        Oct 05, 2020 @ 05:38:25

        Brilliant. It’s a series of several books and I devoured them πŸ˜ŠπŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

      • willowdot21
        Oct 05, 2020 @ 05:39:23

        Thank you for your recommendation πŸ™‚

      • πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ί Bee Halton
        Oct 05, 2020 @ 14:02:11

        πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸπŸ˜Š

      • willowdot21
        Oct 05, 2020 @ 14:02:47

        πŸ’œπŸ’œ

      • whatifweallcared
        Oct 19, 2020 @ 20:47:17

        I used to take a client to visit her husband at a facility.. one if the residents there would always want to come hold my hand and she gave me such a sweet smile… Would have loved to have gotten to know who was behind that sweet smile 😌😊😌

      • willowdot21
        Oct 19, 2020 @ 20:53:20

        I understand, there is always someone in there you just have to find them πŸ’œ

      • whatifweallcared
        Oct 19, 2020 @ 23:13:15

        Yes, and it’s so worth it πŸ€—πŸ₯°πŸ‘΄πŸ»πŸ‘΅

      • willowdot21
        Oct 20, 2020 @ 05:41:35

        Indeed πŸ’œ

  4. Hobbo
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 10:06:05

    It is a horrible illness.
    A very moving poem

    Reply

  5. tesscol
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 10:37:18

    Thank you so Much Willow such a lovely photo too

    Reply

  6. Ritu
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 10:42:21

    Beautiful put, Sis.
    Alzheimer’s is a tough illness to witness πŸ€—πŸ’œ

    Reply

  7. noelleg44
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 10:45:22

    So ineffably sad, Willow. Alzheimer’s is terrible thing. You captures this beautifully.

    Reply

  8. Frank Hubeny
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 11:08:39

    Beautiful birthday wishes for your brother-in-law.

    Reply

  9. Jane Dougherty
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 11:31:45

    Such a tough one, Willow.

    Reply

  10. Athira
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 11:37:00

    Birthday wishes to him

    Reply

  11. Rebo
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 11:46:40

    Very lovely Willow

    Reply

  12. pensitivity101
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 12:47:01

    I feel this and remember how it was with my Mum. Like you I wrote poetry.
    This was one of the last
    https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/poetry-challenge-weekend-writing-prompt-31-nostalgia/
    Happy birthday John. Love to Tess.

    Reply

  13. Maggie
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 13:36:16

    What beautiful words, Willow. I am so sorry for your brother-in-law and your entire family. It is the cruelest of diseases. Sending birthday wishes, he looks so content in the garden.

    Reply

  14. thoughtsnlifeblog
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 14:19:14

    Beautiful poem. It is so sad, the illness. Birthday wishes to him

    Reply

  15. Shweta Suresh
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 14:59:02

    Such a heartfelt post. It must be really difficult to see your loved ones go through such a state. Alzheimer’s is very tough to witness.

    Reply

  16. Savoring Sixty and Beyond
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 16:15:23

    Beautiful post. My mother had a form of dementia, but not confirmed Alzheimer’s. Toward the end she would go into her own world talking to loved ones waiting in heaven for her and then she would come back to us for a while and then sometimes she would just sit quietly. Fortunately she recognized us until she fell into a coma state and died shortly there after. My sister is in the beginning stages of cognitive decline and is currently aware of her condition. No rapid decline, thankfully, but still so difficult to watch. Such cruelty to the mind isn’t it? Blessing to you and your family.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Oct 03, 2020 @ 16:37:59

      I cannot understand why an all seeing being can allow this to happen. Maybe there is no God, but I really hope there is. It hard though isn’t it, an illness that causes so much grief. Thank you for reading πŸ’œ

      Reply

  17. Laura
    Oct 03, 2020 @ 16:53:07

    What a beautiful poem. I’m so sorry – we lost my grandma to Alzheimers and my mom experienced severe dementia in her last few years. It’s a horribly painful thing to watch. Sending πŸ’›.

    Reply

  18. robbiesinspiration
    Oct 04, 2020 @ 05:39:42

    Thank you for this poem, Willow. I’ve not personally known anyone with Alzheimer’s or dementia, but I’ve read enough to know how devastating it is.

    Reply

  19. scrapydo2.wordpress.com
    Oct 04, 2020 @ 06:43:49

    A beautiful tribute to people with Altzheimers. I’ve got a friend whose husband had to be put in a centre because he just doesn’t remember anything and it’s difficult to keep him safe at home.

    Reply

  20. kimbladeswritingblog
    Oct 04, 2020 @ 12:38:47

    Beautiful, heartfelt words, Willow. I am so sorry that your brother is so ill. It does seem unfair that the mind fails before the body. x

    Reply

  21. Betty Hayes Albright
    Oct 09, 2020 @ 04:00:23

    So tragic…. you’ve described it very well, Willow. I keep hoping they’ll have real treatment for Alzheimer’s someday…. β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️
    (Sorry I’m way behind reading once again!)

    Reply

  22. whatifweallcared
    Oct 19, 2020 @ 21:57:31

    Yes, and yet, every now and then there is a twinkle in the eye and a comment as they flicker back again and pause to join us.. then the moment is gone

    Reply

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