He’s Out There ln The Garden.

Today is my brother in law’s Birthday. He probably doesn’t know it because he has Alzheimer’s/ Dementia.

My sister looked after him at home for as long as she could but he is now in a home, his condition got too difficult for her to cope with.

I have written quite a few poems on his and others sharing this plight. In his honour and all carers and sufferers I have taken two of my poems and reworked them into one.

Happy Birthday John. Β© willowdot21


He is out in the garden with the secateurs again
The flowers are looking nervous and hoping it will rain.

The airing cupboard is wearing a smile
He’s is busy elsewhere so it has peace for a while.

We need to eat, it must be time for dinner.
We have just eaten, have a biscuit, that’s always a winner.

How cruel, how mean, how so unkind
To leave a feeble body and take a beautiful mind.

There are no words that can truly describe
The pain and fear of those trapped, dead, yet still alive.

You can not reason, they know no rhyme
They are gone from us left behind.

The tiny flashes of a knowing eye is just a mockery
Your loved one is no longer who they used to be.

Screams of anger, voices harsh with fists of hate
You try so hard, you have so much on your plate.

There is no more that you can in all honesty do
They may be gone. Can you hold your patience and to their love be true.

He is out in the garden with the secateurs again
The flowers are looking nervous and hoping it will rain.

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

70 thoughts on “He’s Out There ln The Garden.”

  1. I used to do two work experiences in care homes and experienced how hard this illness is both for those who have to live with it and their famies and friends. It breaks my heart everytime I think of it.
    Your words bring it exactly to the point. Thanks for sharing and happy birthday John πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

    1. He would be delighted Bee, if he knew. It is very sad isn’t it. Thank you for reading and your birthday wishes. When you meet this type big illness first hand it cannot help but to touch you.
      How are you today… exhausted πŸ’œ

      1. It does touch you deeply. One lady saw me coming, and the home’s manager was there too. So the lady took my hand looked at the manager and said: “Look what a lovely thing I found” I always had a little chat with her and a smile lit her face even though she hardly understood anymore what I was saying. I never forgot her, and it makes my chest tight to think of her and anyone who lives with the condition. And I am a fan of Terry Pratchett who suffered from an incredibly aggressive version. Tragic.

        I am astonishingly fit. It is nowhere near as straining as chemo.

        Have a happy Sunday despite everything πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈπŸ

      2. Some people stay in our minds and hearts don’t they, even if we did not know them very well. I am under no illusion in thinking you made a huge difference to her life. Locked in her own mind she liked you and that matters. I too am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett’s writing. All our boys loved his books. My favourite was the book of Bad Omens.
        It’s great that the Radiotherapy is going well let’s hope it continues that way .πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

      3. Oh, I love “Good Omens” and enjoyed the series with David Tennant and Michael Sheen too. I found they stayed very close to the book. Do you like sci-fi? Then you would like Pratchett’s “Long Earth” series that he co-wrote with Baxter too.

      4. I have not watched the series of Good Omens yet I will now as you have recommend it. Also I had better get hold of Long Earth. As I do love SiFi.

      5. I used to take a client to visit her husband at a facility.. one if the residents there would always want to come hold my hand and she gave me such a sweet smile… Would have loved to have gotten to know who was behind that sweet smile 😌😊😌

  2. What beautiful words, Willow. I am so sorry for your brother-in-law and your entire family. It is the cruelest of diseases. Sending birthday wishes, he looks so content in the garden.

  3. Beautiful post. My mother had a form of dementia, but not confirmed Alzheimer’s. Toward the end she would go into her own world talking to loved ones waiting in heaven for her and then she would come back to us for a while and then sometimes she would just sit quietly. Fortunately she recognized us until she fell into a coma state and died shortly there after. My sister is in the beginning stages of cognitive decline and is currently aware of her condition. No rapid decline, thankfully, but still so difficult to watch. Such cruelty to the mind isn’t it? Blessing to you and your family.

    1. I cannot understand why an all seeing being can allow this to happen. Maybe there is no God, but I really hope there is. It hard though isn’t it, an illness that causes so much grief. Thank you for reading πŸ’œ

  4. What a beautiful poem. I’m so sorry – we lost my grandma to Alzheimers and my mom experienced severe dementia in her last few years. It’s a horribly painful thing to watch. Sending πŸ’›.

  5. A beautiful tribute to people with Altzheimers. I’ve got a friend whose husband had to be put in a centre because he just doesn’t remember anything and it’s difficult to keep him safe at home.

  6. So tragic…. you’ve described it very well, Willow. I keep hoping they’ll have real treatment for Alzheimer’s someday…. β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️
    (Sorry I’m way behind reading once again!)

    1. No worries, it is so very sad, he doesn’t really know any of anymore. It’s so difficult and painful for everyone. πŸ’œ A cure would be wonderful….

      1. We can always hope, for those in the future. My mom had it….she’s been gone nearly 5 years now and I still have nightmares about what she went through….

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