Tears

This is rebloged from my sister blog. About life , love separation and Alzheimer’s.

So today was Alzheimers Awareness day….in the morning post was a handwritten envelope with a local postmark. Curious ,I opened it carefully to discover a small blue heart with a blue ribbon and a label attached. On the label was a short poem

A heart for you with love I send How I wish this virus would end.

We’ll soon be through the other side With Clayburn Court as our guide

My fingerprint is in this heart to keep us close while we’re apart.

Well……..Tears welled up as I read these words.

After 4 months of lockdown, in Mid August we could go to visit our loved one albeit only in the garden but now we are back to square one as there has been a suspected case of the dreaded Virus.

Thanks to the internet I can see what is happening at Clayburn and I know they are doing wonderful things to keep the residents well and happy,but it is not the same as seeing them in person.

Whilst eating my meal this evening ,listening to the radio, what should be played but Fontine’s beautiful song ‘I dreamed a dream’..once again tears were in my eyes.The words were so telling and could be applied in part to our situation.

All those years of working and raising a family and looking forward to a time when we could enjoy retirement were gone and we only had 15 years when we could relax together when it all crumbled with the onset of Alzheimers. Now after 61 yers of being together we are separated

please visit Tescol here

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

30 thoughts on “Tears”

  1. Beautiful and bittersweet.
    First song many of us heard from Susan Boyle. Love her! I watched both of my grandmothers die of Alzheimers. It is a fear I hold with love.

      1. I know , sorry I have corrected it now ,it goes to her blog now…my bad , I had a hard time with it … goodness knows why 💜💜

      2. I didn’t. I did finally get over and look at her blog. Now I need to get caught up on yours and everyone else’s blogs! I’m SO behind! 🙃💜

  2. It’s a lovely song, we saw Les Misérables in London several years ago, I was mesmerised and for once didn’t fall asleep and was shocked when the intermission came, I remember one of the b&w films which I watched as a child with my Nanna and of course Susan Boyle’s audition that shocked us all. Mother in law had dementia, sadly she often didn’t recognise her children but for some reason she used to smile when I visited, perhaps the memory of a scruffy hippy turning up with her daughter was still there and amused her, hope so. We could only visit briefly due to COVID as the home locked down very early and thankfully none of the residents or staff caught it. When she became “end of life” the home agreed to more frequent visits in her room and my wife actually moved in for her final two weeks, I’m not sure the company would have agreed but the home manager was fantastic, also my wife helped with all her care, she said that it was probably the best and worse period of her illness but there were so many laughs. Residential homes sometimes get bad press as being only interested in money and we experienced the best and the worst of homes, sorry I’m rambling, dementia is wicked and robs us of so much

    1. Yes I understand and I really feel for my sister who is going through all this, sadly with her husband. That’s why I posted it on my blog so people could see how she feels . I had trouble reblogging but got it up in the end. Do visit her blog if you have time the URL is at the bottom of the post. Thank you for sharing your sad and Beautiful experience. 💜

    1. It is a hard time, as I say this is my sister’s post and I know she is suffering. Alzheimer’s is such an evil their of people’s souls. I hope you can see him soon.💜 Do visit her blog 💜

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