What Day Is It Anyway?

Dear friends, and you are all friends, you have proved this more than once. I feel I should explain my absence since 4th June. I have been unable to write or even read any one’s posts, my apologies. Then this morning I spotted how Darswood had said she had wondered where I was and had sent condolences for the family that I should give you a heads up for now.

Firstly, MIL died late night 3rd/ early hours 4th June. The Covid and frailty won in the end. MIL did not go quietly she fought it to the end with every ounce she had. She made her goal, her 100th Birthday and was conscious, up and dressed to celebrate it with the hospital staff and hubby.

© willowdot21

Then the days began to blur we fell into a pit of organisation. As you will know if you have been following my #WDIIA posts hubby and his brother and sister do not get on too well. But when MIL died they agreed hubby should organise everything, this is just as well as otherwise it would of been chaos. So he threw himself into arranging the funeral. I gave all the support I could but he was a man on a mission, he wanted to do his mum proud.

We got up at stupid o’clock, we walked Ruby , Hubby arranged the funeral this strange pandemic life continued with its highs and lows.

© willowdot21

Stangely I was feeling ill, sleeping, eating and doing even less. I found it hard to write or read. Pains in my shoulders, back, chest, neck, jaw all escalated until we thought heart attack? … But for days? Eventually I rang our GP surgery.

Now going to the GP surgery these days is not normal. You ring up and talk to a non medical receptionist who quizzes you, luckily I was deemed unwell enough to see a duty Dr at 5pm that evening. Instructions : Arrive at carpark wearing a mask and gloves, stand at the first yellow line by the emergency exit and someone will let you in. I was greeted by an woman in brown scrubs, plastic apron, gloves, mask, goggles and a visor. She was actually the Dr. Her PPE and my mask made conversation rather difficult, anyway I had a chat with her then a nurse gave me an ECG. And an appointment for blood test was arranged. ECG was fine.

I am not well

It was a very painful weekend though Saturday we got to see our son , his wife and the grandchildren, under brand new rules we are now allowed to have a BBQ of six people who must socially distancing. You may not go into the host’s house at all. So we had a lovely bbq.. and it was cold and windy and some of the time it rained thank goodness for heavy garden umbrellas. But it was the first chance to see them since lockdown and it was lovely. Some of the above rules have changed again.

© willowdot21

As the weekend progressed I got worse. Monday was terrific, pain, Monday night thought I was dying, Tuesday I took to my bed. By 4pm we had to call 101, they sent an Ambulance which took me to E.D. Home at 5am next morning then back at AEC at 11am tests all day, then Ultrasound found the problem. A massively swollen gall bladder full of bile and large stones, one huge one blocking the neck. I was admitted.

© willowdot21 Not where I was but similar.

Now again because of the pandemic we have to go to hospital unaccompanied, so hubby had spent Monday night and Tuesday not really knowing how I was really coping. Luckily we were in touch by mobile.

Wednesday after nil by mouth I.V. antibiotics, fluids and painkillers overnight on the ward it was decided they would put in a drain and fit a cholecystectomy bag. Mid morning I was taken to ultrasound, the procedure did not go smoothly and it had to be done twice with a CT Angiogram done half way through to see what was going wrong. I might talk about that later but not today, the drain and bag are with me now for 6 to 8 weeks with appointments arranged with the surgeon and then another operation to remove the gall bladder.

© willowdot21%

Hospitals too at the moment are dark and scary places , staff wearing PPE, and inpatients and outpatients wearing masks and gloves. I will write about about my experiences, fears, what I heard and saw but not now I am tired and I don’t have the muse with me she is on holiday.

I was discharged from hospital Saturday evening, wearing my new accessary the cholecystectomy bag, with scant instructions on how to empty and keep it clean and even less on what I can and can’t do myself, but there’s always Google and my brain to help me with that . So Sunday dawned warm and it was so good to feel safe at home, hubby and I emptied the cholecystectomy bag , over 200mls good I thought it’s draining well , We had a very quiet day and it was good to relax and eat something edible though small. A neighbour rang and whilst they were chatting I was dozing. Hubby looked at my bag and there was another 150 mils in it. He said our neighbour had said it should not be red and looking like tomato sauce and over 300mls was an awful lot to loose since coming home. Thankfully we listened as we knew she was a nurse albeit 34yrs ago.

© willowdot21

So it was Sunday evening I was back in hospital much to my distress, thank goodness after 24hrs, more tests, bloods and two nasty injections through a cannular I am back home , grateful and determined to stay here.

Last night I slept like a baby, we were up at a quarter to stupid o’clock. But today is MIL’s funeral and sadly I can’t go, I am not well enough. That again is another post. .

© willowdot21

So I am going to stop now as I am exhausted, I have been trying to finish this post on and off for over 12 hours now but I am determined to do so.

The funeral went well, and MIL’s road was lined with her neighbours, family and friends. A mark of the woman she was. Our middle son followed the hearse to the Crematorium as a mark of respect, a one man Cortege. He payed his respects to the 10 family members allowed into the funeral then drove to our house to look after me. In the garden socially distancing.

Hubby and our two other sons attended the funeral, hubby read his lovely eulogy to his mum, the Celebrant spoke beautifully about MIL from what hubby had told her. Hubby and our to other lads joined The middle lad and me in the garden, we made a party of six with Ruby dog, and we were all socially distanced. The boys drifted off one by one the youngest first home to his family, then the middle to his flat our eldest and hubby took Ruby for a walk . Then he went off home too.

Below the music from the funeral.

Mil entered to this as it was a favourite of hers.

This hymn was for all to join in, with was this version.

Unforgettable, bless she is. Was her exit anthem.

So I think that is that for now, I still don’t feel up to being back full time yet. The loss, the cholecystectomy bag, the next op, the fear and pain, pandemic is all a little to much just now. I am here I am trying and it’s so good to know you are all there.

Thank you to Sue at Daily Echo and Ritu at But I Smile Anyway for seeing me through a dark night on the ward. Thank you Marjorie Mallon for her kind words and Darswood for giving me the shove I needed to write this post. To all of you , you know who you are Betty, Geoff, Di, Hugh, Colleen, Dale, Ronovanwrite’s, Kat, John, Jim all of you out there, I am here. I am coming back I just need some time. If your name’s not there consider yourselves all mentioned.

This is part of LindaGHill’s #WDIIA.

consider yourself mentioned Linda💜

Keep safe
Be kind
Be brave

156 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kat Myrman
    Jun 16, 2020 @ 21:33:56

    A few days ago, I started looking for you Willow, feeling your absence and worrying that something might be wrong. Oh dear friend! Such a time you are having. Know that you have been on my heart and in my thoughts, and will continue to be. Condolences to you and your husband on the loss of his mum. I am so sad to learn of her passing, but glad she was able to make it to 100! The music you shared speaks of a life full and well lived. Take care of yourself. We will all be here when you return. I pray that your surgery goes well and you have an uneventful and speedy recovery. Hugs upon hugs. Love you to my friend. ❤️💜❤️

    Reply

  2. isaiah46ministries
    Jun 16, 2020 @ 21:51:26

    I wish for everything to go well. Praying for you, and my condolences to your family for their loss of a genuine soul.

    Reply

  3. cordeliasmom2012
    Jun 16, 2020 @ 23:17:25

    Oh, my, Willow, where do I even start? Normally, I would say, “ugh, not the gallbladder!” I’ve seen what gallstones and infected gallbladders can do to people. Fortunately, with treatment you will eventually heal. It may be a long, painful (scary and lonely) road, but you’ll get through. So, considering it’s also the middle of the pandemic, and you’ve already lost one family member to the virus, my thoughts are “thank heavens, you only have a bad gallbladder.” Hugs, Lady. We’re all pulling for you.
    PS – Your MIL looks like she lived a long and very happy life. God love someone who could dress up for a photo like she did while in the hospital suffering from COVID. I doubt that I could, and I’m a bit younger.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 02:42:59

      Thank you, CM. You have got it in one I should be grateful it’s only gall bladder it could be much worse. Though at 4.30am I am here thinking I am not keen on what lies ahead but I have it to do so I will do my best and hope it will be be fixed thanks for your wisdom .
      MIL was really something I am glad she got to her one hundredth Birthday and enjoyed it despite the Covid, she was s force of nature . God bless you and yours C M keep safe and well. 💜💜🌺

      Reply

  4. Betty Hayes Albright
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 00:50:44

    Oh Willow, I’m so sorry to hear all that you’ve been through yourself since your MIL passed away. How scary! Have been missing you but figured you were just busy with funeral arrangements. It seems like everything always happens at once.
    Glad you’re at home now, until your surgery date. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and hope everything goes smoothly and that you’ll heal up quickly. Sending a hug to you. 🤗
    💐💙❤🌹💙💚🌻

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 02:53:15

      Thank you Betty. It’s been a strange road through this pandemic. We all have tales to tell . Good or bad we just have to carry on. Right now I am licking my wounds and feeling low. Thank you for the hug I need one. It’s nearly 5am and I am worrying how I can get through this. I will I will just have to and it’s better with a good will 💜. Mother in law probably would of . Be well Betty and safe I am with you in thought thank you for stopping by. 💜💜💜🌺

      Reply

  5. rugby843
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 01:39:52

    Gosh, you have been through it.  I had gallbladder surgery a few years ago and it was done with laparoscope so not bad.  The other troubles I’m sorry for your loss.  Hope you are improving soon.

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Reply

  6. KC
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 02:19:37

    What a couple of weeks you’ve had…my condolences re you MIL and your gallbladder. Take care…get your rest and strength back.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 03:00:15

      Hi KC will do my best, a step at a time I guess. I do hope you are faring better. Thank you for condolences for MIL she was a great lady. Be safe and well 💜

      Reply

  7. Sadje
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 02:50:07

    So sorry for your loss and all the physical and mental issues with pain and illness. Get well soon Willow.

    Reply

  8. SarahC
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 03:00:26

    Wow just wow….gentle hugs

    Reply

  9. Jen Goldie
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 03:25:35

    Be safe and get well my friend. Seems nothing’s easy these days.
    💐💜🌹❤

    Reply

  10. Sue Vincent
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 04:35:33

    Lovely to see you back online, Willow… but make getting well your priority. xxx

    Reply

  11. thoughtsnlifeblog
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 04:49:46

    Our deepest sympathy for your mil. I am very sorry.
    Hugs to you all
    Going to hospital these days is awful. My niece is in hospital with a rare tummy disease and her parents cant visit her and she is only 20 years old. And the nurses are not being great. The dr are good. But the nurse .
    I hope you get well very soon.
    Sorry again for you mil, and for the hard times in your life right now.
    Hugs . Bella

    Reply

  12. Ritu
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 05:10:28

    Sis, it is lovely to see you writing again, but please, don’t push yourself too much.
    I’m just glad you are okay.
    The funeral sounds like Ivy had a fitting send-off, though.
    Thinking of you. Love and hugs 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 05:15:29

      Thank you Sis I can’t push myself I have no push left. I feel weak like a baby but I will bounce back. How is school going are you coping. Thinking of you 💜💜

      Reply

      • Ritu
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 05:17:24

        School hasn’t been too bad, sis, 11 kids in.
        But I’m not sleeping well, at the moment… So tired.
        You rest up. Love you x

      • willowdot21
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 05:21:49

        Keep well Sis, try to sleep I can understand you being unable to sleep …I am the same. Try to relax love to you 🌺🌺🌺🌺💜💜💜💜

  13. TanGental
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 05:54:47

    Oh my goodness, how did I not spot something was wrong with the lack of posts? What a journey, too. The roller coaster of life, eh? I can’t imagine how upsetting that must have been when you were trying to be supportive of hub. Now I’m sending you all my love and fingers crossed you’re now on the upslope again. Cuddle Ruby and take it easy

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 06:26:27

      Hi Geoff it happens dosen’t it suddenly someone drops of the radar hopefully, like the bad penny they return. So thanks for the love and crossed fingers I will take them and get to it. Ruby was pleased to see me home but is non plussed that I am so slow. Hope the Textilist and your MIL are doing well as all the brood . Keep well and safe.💜💜🌺

      Reply

      • TanGental
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 20:41:54

        We are, thank you. The old lady’s stats seem to have improved over lockdown. She’d made of strong stuff. Glad you’re a little way towards getting into that saddle.

      • willowdot21
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 22:23:50

        Thank you, Geoff glad your all well, and well done both of you for improving your MIL’s health. Browny points to you both 💜

  14. Jane Dougherty
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 06:42:31

    I’m so sorry to hear all that, Willow. It’s been an awful time for funerals, even worse than usual. My godmother lost her husband a fortnight ago (not covid) and the funeral was last week. None of us could go obviously.
    And not a good time for you to be in hospital either. I do hope they make a better job next time around. Try and keep your strength up and don’t worry about other people (kids included).

    Reply

  15. Ruth
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 07:10:25

    Oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time just now, Willow – sending big (but gentle) hugs your way. I was diagnosed with gall stones last summer but thankfully so far they have caused nothing more than discomfort. I did wonder about your mum-in-law once my dad got home from hospital and realised I hadn’t seen an update from you – so sorry for your loss ❤

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 07:33:55

      Thank you for the hugs gratefully accepted, I am daunted but not stumped. I can get well again. Is your dad okay, I hope so. It’s sad about mil but she had a wonderful life. Keep an eye on those stones don’t get like me, sadly mine went undiagnosed. Be safe and happy 💜💜💜

      Reply

      • Ruth
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 09:28:51

        Dad’s as well as can be expected thanks, but sadly his quality of life is deteriorating noticbly these days. Get well soon! ❤

      • willowdot21
        Jun 17, 2020 @ 09:31:20

        Bless it’s so hard, when they get older and you suddenly see their fragility. Be well and safe and thank you for your wishes.💜💜💜

  16. Dr. Crystal Grimes
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 13:50:59

    Sending you healing energies and hugs!

    Reply

  17. Shweta Suresh
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 16:08:38

    Sorry to hear about your MIL. My deepest condolences to you and family. May her soul rest in peace. Sorry to know that you had to go through so much. My mother was admitted to the hospital with the same problem a few years ago. She ultimately underwent laparoscopic surgery to remove the gall bladder and the stone. She’s alright now though she has difficulty consuming extremely oily food. Take care. My prayers are with the

    Reply

  18. pensitivity101
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 16:22:33

    Here for you Willow. What a wonderful tribute to your MIL.
    I am so sorry you have not been well, but health must come first. Take cre, and get well. We’re not going anywhere. ❤ <3<3

    Reply

  19. John Holton
    Jun 17, 2020 @ 20:21:37

    First, sorry about your mother-in-law. She seems to have been one of those people who died too young, even at 100.

    I had to look up cholecystectomy and discovered it was gall bladder surgery. Those are really common here. Take care of yourself….

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 17, 2020 @ 22:21:12

      Thank you John, she wanted to live longer, but not how she was at the end. She was a trooper.
      Yes I am having gall bladder trouble, I have this drain and bag for 8weeks then hopefully they will remove my gall bladder completely. It’s tiring now but I will get used to it no doubt! 💜💜 Stay well 💜💜

      Reply

  20. Miriam Hurdle
    Jun 18, 2020 @ 02:12:36

    Sorry for the loss of you MIL, and sorry that you were not well. Please take care of yourself, Willow! ❤ ❤

    Reply

  21. Martin Shone
    Jun 18, 2020 @ 11:26:46

    I was only thinking of you on Monday and that I hadn’t seen your posts and now I know why! You take care, Willow xx

    Reply

  22. johncoyote
    Jun 19, 2020 @ 10:00:36

    I am sorry for your difficult days. I lost my father in late January. Scary to be sick and lose people. I hope you are doing okay.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 19, 2020 @ 10:37:40

      Thank you John for taking the time to saying such kind words. I am sorry that you have lost your father too. It is scary to be sick at this time but I am progressing 💜

      Reply

      • johncoyote
        Jun 19, 2020 @ 20:49:30

        We couldn’t have a memorial because of the coronaviras. Make it difficult to say goodbye. Take time to heal. I want to have a memorial still.

      • willowdot21
        Jun 19, 2020 @ 20:52:52

        Same here, we are all going to get everyone together next year on what would of been her birthday and Celebrate her life. Perhaps you could do something similar 💜

  23. Robert Matthew Goldstein
    Jun 19, 2020 @ 20:52:22

    What a series of losses and ordeals. I was frightened for you as I read your post. I’m glad you’re here to tell about it — and grateful to know you have such solid support.

    Reply

  24. CHINA ALEXANDRIA LIVING THE DREAM
    Jun 21, 2020 @ 05:46:25

    GREAT POST, LIFE CAN BE SO SAD, CHINA

    Reply

  25. Dale
    Jun 21, 2020 @ 12:22:04

    Oh you poor dear!!
    I guess they have to wait till as is clear to remove the fall bladder? So many complications. Terribly sorry you are going through all this.
    And my condolences for the passing of your MIL. She lived a more than respectable life!
    Get better!!

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 21, 2020 @ 12:28:02

      Thank you Dale MIL did really well and achieved her goal 100yrs and enjoyed it. Bless she’s on to bigger things now.
      I don’t feel like blogging yet but I am trying to read up on everyone’s posts, though I did have to delete at least a week’s worth as it was too daunting. I am glad you are okay keep safe. In the words of Arnie “I’ll be back ” 💜💜💜

      Reply

  26. celia
    Jun 22, 2020 @ 09:43:11

    What a story of strength, endurance and determination – both yours and your family’s. Blessings on you all. May the fond memories of Mil be a candle in the night, and may each day take you toward recovery.

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 22, 2020 @ 10:06:07

      Hello Celia, thank you for your kind words. MIL is still a strong presence and we are glad she is resting now. Each day we are coping and I am making slow recovery and getting used to this tempery the health hitch . Thank you again.💜🌹

      Reply

  27. Colleen M. Chesebro
    Jun 22, 2020 @ 13:02:36

    Sweet Willow, I’m so sorry for all of these troubles you’ve had to endure. I’m sending you love and lots of healing energy. You concentrate on getting well. Hugs and love, Sis. ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply

  28. justmuddlingthroughlife
    Jun 22, 2020 @ 14:45:20

    Wow Willow, I did wonder if you are okay. When I saw your message earlier I thought of your MIL. I didn’t expect to find you so unwell as well.
    Hope you are feeling better, this is such a really rubbish time made worse by losing someone and being so ill yourself! Take care ! X x

    Reply

  29. trentpmcd
    Jun 22, 2020 @ 15:00:44

    Wow, a tough ride. Sorry about your MIL. And then your health problems. I see this post was a few days ago, so I hope you re recovering,though I know you said 6 to 8 weeks. Take care of yourself 🙂

    Reply

  30. robertawrites235681907
    Jun 22, 2020 @ 16:29:18

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your MIL and you illness, Willow. It has been a really tough time for you and this is the second nasty ailment you’ve had in quite a short period. I remember the blood poisoning you had not that long ago. Look after yourself, Willow, and get better.

    Reply

  31. Jen Goldie
    Jun 23, 2020 @ 03:12:06

    Hi Willow. I am so happy to see you posted since you wrote this post. I was sitting here thinking “Where’s Willow!” I hope she’s feeling better and I miss her. Take Good Care. 💜🌹💜

    Reply

  32. Savoring Sixty and Beyond
    Jun 23, 2020 @ 11:28:25

    So glad you have returned, but so very sorry to read all you have been through. My prayers are with you. ❤️

    Reply

  33. CarolCooks2
    Jun 24, 2020 @ 04:49:45

    Oh, Willow…Poor you so much to contend with…Take it easy and don’t do too much listen to your body. I am so sorry to hear about hubby’s mum but he done her proud and the choice of music was wonderful…Take care and stay safe 🙂 x

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jun 24, 2020 @ 06:03:33

      Hello Carol, thank you for reading and your words. MIL is in a better place now at rest. I am taking it easy not much choice right now. We have each other and the boys, so we are getting there. 🌹🌹💜

      Reply

  34. eloisedesousa
    Jun 24, 2020 @ 12:51:23

    Oh Willow, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you’ve endured in the interim. I’ve been flitting in and out of social media, fighting my own health demons but nothing as serious or severe as yours. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Remember, I’m only a hop and skip away. Take care, dear friend, and feel better soon. 🌸

    Reply

  35. Marje @ Kyrosmagica
    Jun 26, 2020 @ 09:01:04

    Oh my hope you are better now Willow. What a time you’ve had. Sending love and light. Xxx

    Reply

  36. Linda G. Hill
    Jul 02, 2020 @ 01:39:46

    Wow! First, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mother-in-law was one feisty lady by the looks of it. Your family is in my thoughts. ❤
    Second, I hope you're back to full health now! What a terrible ordeal, especially at a time like this. ❤
    And third, I'm so sorry I missed all this, wrapped up in my own little world as I am. I wish you all the very best, my friend. ❤

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Jul 02, 2020 @ 05:25:52

      Hi Linda I am not surprised you missed all of this, I have not been posting in much but I have been keeping an eye on you and it’s not been easy for you at all. Mother in law lived a long and fiesty life. She fought to the end. She is at peace now. Thank you for your thoughts.
      I am getting used to the cholecystectomy bag and drain, it been in just over two weeks now they will see me again in four weeks for an x-ray to see when it can be removed and when they can remove the gall bladder. I am so tired all the time 😴. Thinking of you and send hugs💜💜

      Reply

  37. kimbladeswritingblog
    Jul 08, 2020 @ 12:20:10

    I am so sorry about you and your husband’s loss. But to reach 100, what an accomplishment. Glad to have you back.

    Reply

  38. Christine Bolton
    Jul 12, 2020 @ 15:59:38

    Oh my gosh you have been through the mill. I oh my gosh you have been through the mill. I am so sorry Willow. Please be careful and good luck with your next visit/treatment/surgery. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Sending you love and hugs 🤗❤️

    Reply

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