A cautionary tale from Geoff LePard.
Colin had not felt this way for a long time, but then again it had been a while since he had drunk tea.
Tea, he associated with Aunts. And Aunts with knitwear. And knitwear with cheek pinching. And Colin had a skin allergy brought on by any pressure greater than 15 psi and which drew blood to the surface of the impacted spot in substantial and damaging ways.
But Rosebud (who didn’t blame her parents for her name but rather a deaf birth registrar) had a tea addiction which manifested itself in the form of a pre- and post-coital aphrodisiac.
Colin tried to protest but desire can ruin common sense and his coupling with Rosebud had been accompanied by in excess of a litre of Ceylon silvertip first pickings and a penis the size and colour of a boiled beet.
As Colin sat in bed, applying vaseline to his be-hived…
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