Withdrawal . Nearly there?

I have been telling you all, about (I hope) the last few weeks of weaning myself off of Gabapentin. It’s a neuropathic painkiller. I have been on it for over eight years I have weaned myself down from four times six hundred mgs a day to one hundred mgs twice a day. With no great help from the doctors who just want to hand them out like sweets to keep me quite. This week I am altenating between one hundred mgs morning and night one day and just one hundred grams in the evening on the alternate day. It is hard,harder than I thought. This last part is so hard I just want to reach for the pills. So you guys can help me by listening to me writing it out.

A big thank you for baring with me.

Well I have not said anything about how the withdrawal has been going for a while. So I thought I let you all know how things are going.

My mood is very low, I feel like crying most of the time so I do have to fight it. Everything upsets me, the tone of hubby’s voice, TV , adverts, reading blogs, writing blogs..you get the picture.

Pain, I am in a lot of pain , I am determined to fight it and am using every weapon in my Armoury to do so… But it is constantly there.

Exhaustion I am way past tired! Anxiety levels are very high, temper short! Spiders on and off. Sniffing, it’s driving me mad. I did think this would be the easy part.
Enough no more negatives. I am still standing, I am down to 100mgs of Gabapentin every other evening, from 2,400gms a day. This has taken me two and a half years to achieve.

The weekend was hard, a friend was ill on Friday evening and I was at her house until 1am , then Saturday I spent the morning with her at the hospital. Thankfully is okay she now but the sitting around did nothing for my pain and stress levels.. I am getting good at hiding these though.

Wednesday we went to London for Prime Minister’s Question Time. It was very interesting and the weather was gorgeous. But the train journeys and sitting in very cramped conditions for the PMQs for over an hour was painful and stressful.

Hubby did get a little miffed with me because he said I was ratty, miserable and a tad awkward. He took a photo of me on the train going home…. I do look “miserable” but I did try. I certainly did not complain.

I was actually tired and in pain. But hey it had been a long day enjoyable but long.

I survived.

Yesterday and today hubby been staying at our eldest flat on the south coast, helping him decorate it so he can sell it. I have done things at my own speed so I am feeling little less anxious.

The weekend looms and I know it will be busy. I am getting there but it’s harder than I thought. Hey ho I am nearly there!

Friends tell me I doing great at that I look okay … I just wish I felt okay.

Thank you for listening. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

69 thoughts on “Withdrawal . Nearly there?”

  1. I can’t begin to express my admiration for what you’re going through. I understand the long term nature of your challenge. Well done on all those little steps that are now a giant leap

    1. Thank you Geoff , some of it is where as before there was plenty Gabapentin in my system as I first cut down I am now running on empty! I am getting there . The only way is up… No slipping.πŸ˜€πŸ’œ

  2. Sending lots of virtual love and hugs your way, Willow – well done for getting this far, we’re all proud of you ❀ xxx

  3. ” I am down to 100mgs of Gabapentin every other evening, from 2,400gms a day.”
    Given the size of that reduction, albeit over an extended period of time, perhaps an emergency plan would be to stabilize on 100mg/twice a day for a while? You’ve done so well to date, but it is a shame if interpersonal relationships are suffering as a result…. and stabilizing at less than10% of the original prescription is still worthy of a medal! Just some thoughts! Take care. πŸ™‚

    1. I have been tempted but I am scared to back track. I have the option here but I am scared of stepping up the dose and not being able to give them up… It’s not easy Colin. I am so grateful that you care.πŸ’œπŸ’œ

      1. Nothing that you have done so far has been easy Willow, but sometimes one has to step backwards, in order to take stock of circumstances, before moving forward again. All in all ……… whatever you have done so far has been remarkable so full credit to you, and the best judge of how to proceed from here is, of course, just you. πŸ™‚

  4. Have been thinking of you, Willow. I admire you so much for seeing this through. You will get there.(Wow, you’ve come a long way!) Take care, and I hope the pain eases up soon. Empathizing with that here. ❀️❀️🌸

    1. Hi Betty, thank you again for your support you have a great help. I am getting there one day at a time. I feel lousy this morning but it will pass nothing lasts forever. 😊 Onwards and upwards it another day nearer being free πŸ’œ.

      1. I am and I will Betty, yesterday did improve. Today has been stressful too. I get very anxious for no good reason . I am getting there 🀞 thank you. πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  5. Oh no, so sorry to hear you are going through this my lovely Willow, my neurologist tried to put me on Gabapentin but I told him to β€˜do one’. It’s nasty so you will understandably go through a host of weaning symptoms. Look after your needs first before anyone else. You can’t fix others if you’re broken! Sending big hugs xxx

    1. Thank you Shelley, you were very wise. I have been on Gabapentin for over eight years, over the last two and a half years I have been weaning down from 2,400 mgs daily to 100mgs every other pm . I thought this last part would be a doddle but it’s not it’s harder than ever but I won’t give up. I can do this as I had to get off of tramadol too. I did that three years ago that was hard too, I am nearly at my goal I dare not slip now. Thank you for your support πŸ’œπŸ’β€οΈ πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  6. I’m also on gabapentin. I take 1200mg a day. I can’t function without it. I wish I could. I have a great respect for what you are achieving! You should be very proud of yourself ❀️ Love the second train photo. You have a look that says if you don’t stop taking my picture I’m throwing the camera out the window! Be well 😊

    1. You read my mind! As for the Gabapentin I found I was on that ridiculously high dosage and still in pain all the time. Then I discovered I needed to take them just to feel “normal’ so I determined to get off them . Can’t lie it has been and still is awful but I am getting there. You be well too and look out flying cameras from trains!! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  7. Weaning yourself of high dosages of pain medication is really hard, Willow. I think you are doing terrifically well. Keep going and it will get easier. Thinking of you. Hugs.

    1. Hi Hun, how are you doing thanks for you kind words, did you have troubles with the tablets? Gabapentin… Bane of my life but I am getting there, I can do this I was on Gabapentin and Tramadol to start with! I finally kick the tramadol 3 yrs ago and I am almost there with Gabapentin… getting there! πŸ’œπŸ’œ

      1. Yes Gabapentin made me feel like a zombie. I felt completely out of it, dizzy and quite moody. It was not right for me at all. Well done for kicking the tramadol and you’re doing SO well with the Gabapentin. Have you ever been recommended Amitriptyline? Sorry if you have/have tried it. I think it’s less harsh than Gabapentin, but can help in the same way. Or are you trying to get rid of all drugs?

      2. I have had Amitriptyline, after I broke my back the second time I found the pain horrendous, they tried all sorts including liquid Morphine and then Morphine patches. I finally got to the stage where the pain killers no longer helped with the pain I needed them just to feel normal…. And that’s not right, so now I am trying to get off all drugs if I can. I have learned other ways to cope with pain so I am hoping I can cope. πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’œπŸ’œ

      3. That’s wonderful, Willow (that you’ve learned other ways to cope with the pain). You’re amazing. Am wishing you all the best with it all xxx

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