Withdrawal . Nearly there?

I have been telling you all, about (I hope) the last few weeks of weaning myself off of Gabapentin. It’s a neuropathic painkiller. I have been on it for over eight years I have weaned myself down from four times six hundred mgs a day to one hundred mgs twice a day. With no great help from the doctors who just want to hand them out like sweets to keep me quite. This week I am altenating between one hundred mgs morning and night one day and just one hundred grams in the evening on the alternate day. It is hard,harder than I thought. This last part is so hard I just want to reach for the pills. So you guys can help me by listening to me writing it out.

A big thank you for baring with me.

Well I have not said anything about how the withdrawal has been going for a while. So I thought I let you all know how things are going.

My mood is very low, I feel like crying most of the time so I do have to fight it. Everything upsets me, the tone of hubby’s voice, TV , adverts, reading blogs, writing blogs..you get the picture.

Pain, I am in a lot of pain , I am determined to fight it and am using every weapon in my Armoury to do so… But it is constantly there.

Exhaustion I am way past tired! Anxiety levels are very high, temper short! Spiders on and off. Sniffing, it’s driving me mad. I did think this would be the easy part.
Enough no more negatives. I am still standing, I am down to 100mgs of Gabapentin every other evening, from 2,400gms a day. This has taken me two and a half years to achieve.

The weekend was hard, a friend was ill on Friday evening and I was at her house until 1am , then Saturday I spent the morning with her at the hospital. Thankfully is okay she now but the sitting around did nothing for my pain and stress levels.. I am getting good at hiding these though.

Wednesday we went to London for Prime Minister’s Question Time. It was very interesting and the weather was gorgeous. But the train journeys and sitting in very cramped conditions for the PMQs for over an hour was painful and stressful.

Hubby did get a little miffed with me because he said I was ratty, miserable and a tad awkward. He took a photo of me on the train going home…. I do look “miserable” but I did try. I certainly did not complain.

I was actually tired and in pain. But hey it had been a long day enjoyable but long.

I survived.

Yesterday and today hubby been staying at our eldest flat on the south coast, helping him decorate it so he can sell it. I have done things at my own speed so I am feeling little less anxious.

The weekend looms and I know it will be busy. I am getting there but it’s harder than I thought. Hey ho I am nearly there!

Friends tell me I doing great at that I look okay … I just wish I felt okay.

Thank you for listening. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

69 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. TanGental
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 13:40:07

    I can’t begin to express my admiration for what you’re going through. I understand the long term nature of your challenge. Well done on all those little steps that are now a giant leap


    • willowdot21
      Jun 15, 2018 @ 14:35:03

      Thank you Geoff , some of it is where as before there was plenty Gabapentin in my system as I first cut down I am now running on empty! I am getting there . The only way is up… No slipping.πŸ˜€πŸ’œ


  2. Ruth
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 14:26:11

    Sending lots of virtual love and hugs your way, Willow – well done for getting this far, we’re all proud of you ❀ xxx


  3. Ritu
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 14:30:22

    You ARE doing better than OKAY sis. I know it’s tough but this is the hardest time.


  4. pensitivity101
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 14:47:48

    Just think how far you’ve come! And you’re nearly there! Sending you positive everythings.


  5. Lynz Real Cooking
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 16:43:50

    You look amazing dear sister and you are doing great! I cannot imagine going through this and am so proud of you! Keep going you are doing something amazing xoxoxo


  6. colinandray
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 16:57:44

    ” I am down to 100mgs of Gabapentin every other evening, from 2,400gms a day.”
    Given the size of that reduction, albeit over an extended period of time, perhaps an emergency plan would be to stabilize on 100mg/twice a day for a while? You’ve done so well to date, but it is a shame if interpersonal relationships are suffering as a result…. and stabilizing at less than10% of the original prescription is still worthy of a medal! Just some thoughts! Take care. πŸ™‚


  7. Jane Dougherty
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 18:57:25

    You look as though you just ate Theresa May for lunch. Keep fighting, Willow. Nearly there. There’s the rest of the Cabinet to get through remember.


  8. Betty Hayes Albright
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 02:58:07

    Have been thinking of you, Willow. I admire you so much for seeing this through. You will get there.(Wow, you’ve come a long way!) Take care, and I hope the pain eases up soon. Empathizing with that here. ❀️❀️🌸


  9. Marje @ Kyrosmagica
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 08:46:35

    Oh Willow I really feel for you. It must be so hard. You’ve come so far, keep on thinking of what you have accomplished. You’re a star Biggest hugs. Marje xxx


  10. shelleywilson72
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 09:12:38

    Oh no, so sorry to hear you are going through this my lovely Willow, my neurologist tried to put me on Gabapentin but I told him to β€˜do one’. It’s nasty so you will understandably go through a host of weaning symptoms. Look after your needs first before anyone else. You can’t fix others if you’re broken! Sending big hugs xxx


    • willowdot21
      Jun 16, 2018 @ 09:19:11

      Thank you Shelley, you were very wise. I have been on Gabapentin for over eight years, over the last two and a half years I have been weaning down from 2,400 mgs daily to 100mgs every other pm . I thought this last part would be a doddle but it’s not it’s harder than ever but I won’t give up. I can do this as I had to get off of tramadol too. I did that three years ago that was hard too, I am nearly at my goal I dare not slip now. Thank you for your support πŸ’œπŸ’β€οΈ πŸ’œπŸ’œ


  11. Dorinda Duclos
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 13:13:39

    I’m also on gabapentin. I take 1200mg a day. I can’t function without it. I wish I could. I have a great respect for what you are achieving! You should be very proud of yourself ❀️ Love the second train photo. You have a look that says if you don’t stop taking my picture I’m throwing the camera out the window! Be well 😊


  12. robbiesinspiration
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 16:19:17

    Weaning yourself of high dosages of pain medication is really hard, Willow. I think you are doing terrifically well. Keep going and it will get easier. Thinking of you. Hugs.


  13. dobetteralways
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 19:52:41

    You continue to inspire as you face each new day (battle) and refuse to give in. Thank you for sharing your story.


  14. janmalique
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 22:05:04

    You have immense resilience Willow, many people are rooting for you. Also sending you healing.


  15. Kat Myrman
    Jun 16, 2018 @ 22:34:55

    ❀️❀️❀️❀️ hugs Willow.


  16. LindaGHill
    Jun 18, 2018 @ 16:07:04

    I am SO impressed with your strength, my dear friend. You’ve come so far–you can do this! Lots and lots of love. ❀ ❀


  17. thebeasley
    Jun 21, 2018 @ 08:53:39

    Oh Willow. All the best love. I’ve been on Gabapentin before and it is not a nice drugs. Love & strength to you xx


    • willowdot21
      Jun 21, 2018 @ 07:29:57

      Hi Hun, how are you doing thanks for you kind words, did you have troubles with the tablets? Gabapentin… Bane of my life but I am getting there, I can do this I was on Gabapentin and Tramadol to start with! I finally kick the tramadol 3 yrs ago and I am almost there with Gabapentin… getting there! πŸ’œπŸ’œ


      • thebeasley
        Jun 21, 2018 @ 11:34:30

        Yes Gabapentin made me feel like a zombie. I felt completely out of it, dizzy and quite moody. It was not right for me at all. Well done for kicking the tramadol and you’re doing SO well with the Gabapentin. Have you ever been recommended Amitriptyline? Sorry if you have/have tried it. I think it’s less harsh than Gabapentin, but can help in the same way. Or are you trying to get rid of all drugs?

      • willowdot21
        Jun 21, 2018 @ 15:10:38

        I have had Amitriptyline, after I broke my back the second time I found the pain horrendous, they tried all sorts including liquid Morphine and then Morphine patches. I finally got to the stage where the pain killers no longer helped with the pain I needed them just to feel normal…. And that’s not right, so now I am trying to get off all drugs if I can. I have learned other ways to cope with pain so I am hoping I can cope. πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’œπŸ’œ

      • thebeasley
        Jun 21, 2018 @ 15:47:37

        That’s wonderful, Willow (that you’ve learned other ways to cope with the pain). You’re amazing. Am wishing you all the best with it all xxx

      • willowdot21
        Jun 21, 2018 @ 15:48:57

        Thank you that means so much to me πŸ’œ definitely helps me carry on πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  18. Trackback: My First ever review of a dying year. | willowdot21

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