Withdrawal . Nearly there?

I have been telling you all, about (I hope) the last few weeks of weaning myself off of Gabapentin. It’s a neuropathic painkiller. I have been on it for over eight years I have weaned myself down from four times six hundred mgs a day to one hundred mgs twice a day. With no great help from the doctors who just want to hand them out like sweets to keep me quite. This week I am altenating between one hundred mgs morning and night one day and just one hundred grams in the evening on the alternate day. It is hard,harder than I thought. This last part is so hard I just want to reach for the pills. So you guys can help me by listening to me writing it out.

A big thank you for baring with me.

Well I have not said anything about how the withdrawal has been going for a while. So I thought I let you all know how things are going.

My mood is very low, I feel like crying most of the time so I do have to fight it. Everything upsets me, the tone of hubby’s voice, TV , adverts, reading blogs, writing blogs..you get the picture.

Pain, I am in a lot of pain , I am determined to fight it and am using every weapon in my Armoury to do so… But it is constantly there.

Exhaustion I am way past tired! Anxiety levels are very high, temper short! Spiders on and off. Sniffing, it’s driving me mad. I did think this would be the easy part.
Enough no more negatives. I am still standing, I am down to 100mgs of Gabapentin every other evening, from 2,400gms a day. This has taken me two and a half years to achieve.

The weekend was hard, a friend was ill on Friday evening and I was at her house until 1am , then Saturday I spent the morning with her at the hospital. Thankfully is okay she now but the sitting around did nothing for my pain and stress levels.. I am getting good at hiding these though.

Wednesday we went to London for Prime Minister’s Question Time. It was very interesting and the weather was gorgeous. But the train journeys and sitting in very cramped conditions for the PMQs for over an hour was painful and stressful.

Hubby did get a little miffed with me because he said I was ratty, miserable and a tad awkward. He took a photo of me on the train going home…. I do look “miserable” but I did try. I certainly did not complain.

I was actually tired and in pain. But hey it had been a long day enjoyable but long.

I survived.

Yesterday and today hubby been staying at our eldest flat on the south coast, helping him decorate it so he can sell it. I have done things at my own speed so I am feeling little less anxious.

The weekend looms and I know it will be busy. I am getting there but it’s harder than I thought. Hey ho I am nearly there!

Friends tell me I doing great at that I look okay … I just wish I felt okay.

Thank you for listening. 💜💜💜💜

Thursday photo prompt: Beginnings #writephoto

This is part of Sue Vincent’s of Daily Echo #writephoto.

Rules and Pingback Here

They awoke, with no memory of how or when they had arrived there. They stood and watched in wonder as the dawn painted the skies purple,pink, blue and gold.

Gone where the horrors of what they survived, the famine, drought, the bloodshed, the hate all wiped from their memories. They all stood as one marvelling at the sunrise. They were seeing it for the first time.

Mother Nature looked at them all , tutting as she turned to God and asked.” Why have you brought them back.” Her eyes filled with tears of pain and anger. ” You see how they treat me, they rape and abuse me until I am ruined and spent… How could you?”

God touched her arm gently and smiled his beautiful smile. “You can’t get round me this time” Mother Nature wailed, “I can’t go through it again, I just can’t”

God handed her a challis of Nectar and took one himself. Then he spoke, he rarely spoke but his voice was so beautiful that Mother Nature stopped bristling and relaxed. “One more time my dear, just for me, please.” He knew as he spoke the words, she could not resist. “These are my children they will learn”

Mother Nature put down her challis and slowly stood, looking down at her new dress of green and blue she sighed deeply. As she limped away she said to no one in particular…” They never learn, he is deluded. He keeps giving them another chance and they keep destroying me”

God raised his challis calling after her. “Here’s to New Beginnings.” As the words left his mouth Mother Nature flinched as a “child of God” ripped up some plants and threw them to the side for no apparent reason.

The tears welled up in her eyes again. “Beginnings” she hissed through her broken and blackened theeth.

Lune Day 15

At Kat Myrman‘s suggestion,along with Jane Dougherty, I’m trying out the Lune form this month. The Lune is a three line poem, either 5/3/5 syllables or 3/5/3 words.

Hang them out to dry

How they fly

In the breeze they fly

Lune Day 14

At Kat Myrman‘s suggestion,along with Jane Dougherty, I’m trying out the Lune form this month. The Lune is a three line poem, either 5/3/5 syllables or 3/5/3 words.

Too much water flows

Like lost dreams

Lost where? No one knows.

Lune Day 13

At Kat Myrman‘s suggestion,along with Jane Dougherty, I’m trying out the Lune form this month. The Lune is a three line poem, either 5/3/5 syllables or 3/5/3 words.

Verdant green shoots grow

Trees stand proud

Nature makes it so.

Lune day 12

At Kat Myrman‘s suggestion,along with Jane Dougherty, I’m trying out the Lune form this month. The Lune is a three line poem, either 5/3/5 syllables or 3/5/3 words.

Blue skies puffy clouds

Ruby, me

My heart sings out loud

Lune 11

At Kat Myrman‘s suggestion,along with Jane Dougherty, I’m trying out the Lune form this month. The Lune is a three line poem, either 5/3/5 syllables or 3/5/3 words.

Image from Pixabay

Looking back in time

Could it be

My fault for what’s mine.