Jane Dougherty has come up with a theme for May . It is 42, now Jane describes it thus: “42 after Douglas Adams’ answer to the question of life, the universe and everything. The form is like the Cherita in its structure with a bit of added interest. The first line/stanza asks a question or makes a statement that begs a question, the second stanza/two lines sets the scene or the background, the last stanza/three lines answers the question or resolves it in some way.
Today’s Cheritas from day 27 to day 31 are about my ( I hope) last few weeks of weaniny myself off of Gabapentin. It’s a neauropathic pathic painkiller. I have been on it for over eight years I have weaned myself down from four times six hundred mgs a day to one hundred mgs twice a day. With no great help from the doctors who just want to hand them out like sweats to keep you quite. This week I am altinating between one hundred mgs morning and night one day and just one hundred grams in the evening on the alternate day. It is hard,harder than I thought. This last part is so hard I just want to reach for the pills. So you guys can help me by listening to me writing it out. A big thank you for baring with me.
Sleep has deserted me
Night hours drag hot then cold
The Night Terrors are set free
A thousand spiders crawl
But I will beat them all
I shall be survive and be free
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Author: willowdot21
Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and
hopefully in to light ??
I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well.
I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.
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willowdot21 
You can do it! You got this sis 💪🏽💜
And I will 💜
💪🏽💜
Those night spiders aren’t real. Sleeplessness is awful, but the nightmares are in your head, honestly.
Yes I know and having been here before I know it won’t last forever… I just have to pursivere 💜
Does planning things for the days ahead help? Give you something to look forward to?
I do set myself tasks but I get stressy if I can’t manage them. 💜
May easy ones.
Yes that is a good idea.
🙂
💜
This must be one of the worst parts Sis. If you can’t sleep and are plagued by nightmares, then try getting up and maybe writing a blog or doing some housework or anything that will take your mind off it. I know it is easier said than done, but I have found that it helps a little for me. Keep strong. 💖💖
I know you understand and yes I try to keep busy and writing helps so does housework but I need to rest Sooo often 💜❤️
oh yes, I get that, I just thought that after doing some of these things you may be calmer and be able to sleep 🙂
I do hope so Judy.💜💜
You can meet this challenge! You are strong!!!! xoxo
Thank you Sis I do hope so💜💜
That is so difficult but you are doing so well!!!!!
I am determined 💜💜
Keep going! Write me if you want to I am here!!!!
Thank you Sis I may do 💜💜
good!
💜