My First Post #myfirstpostrevisited

My dear  Blog  sister  Ritu  of But I  Smile Anyway, who is  sitting  at  home  right  now  recovering   from  nasty  bruises  and  shock  from singlehandedly  closing  the M6 at  the weekend. Thank  God no one  was  hurt.
Thank ¬†you ¬†for ¬†nominating ¬†me ¬†Ritu ¬†, I ¬†don’t often ¬†do ¬†these ¬†type of ¬†posts ¬†but ¬†why ¬†not!

my-first-post_revisited-bloghop

A tag started by a blogger/writer called Sarah Brentyn, asking us to revisit our first ever blog posts!

I wrote ¬†my ¬†first ¬†blog ¬†on ¬†June 26 ¬†2011. I ¬†was ¬†struggling ¬†with ¬†pain and ¬†depression ¬†while ¬†recovering ¬†from ¬†breaking ¬†my ¬†back, ¬†for ¬†the second ¬†time. I had ¬†been in ¬†hospital ¬†for a long ¬†time, I ¬†was unable ¬†to ¬†work, unable ¬†to get around ¬†and ¬†was watching ¬†my ¬†“friends” disappear like ¬†rabbits ¬†down a ¬†hole! I was attending a ¬†pain clinic ¬†where I ¬†was being ¬†seen ¬†by a pain physiologist who ¬†suggested I ” wrote ¬†my ¬†feeling ¬†down, write ¬†my ¬†pain ¬†out ¬†and ¬†see if ¬†that ¬†might ¬†help ¬†” Thankfully ¬†she ¬†had ¬†hit the ¬†nail on ¬†the ¬†head ¬†it ¬†did ¬†help ¬†and I ¬†really ¬†am grateful to her.

This is  my space 

This is my space, don’t intrude.

It’s all that I have left, my safe place so don’t be rude.

It is dark out there and it is a hurtful place.

Don’t come near or I shall scratch your face.

This is all that I have to call my own.

Out there it’s hurt and fear and there is no way home.

The noise out there is endless and the bullying never stops.

The insults hurt they stick like dirt and they won’t wash off with the raindrops.

The ties that bind infect my mind, self blame becomes my crown

I am lost and so confused not knowing up from down.

I will not move I am protected here.

I am warm, tired and full of fear

Self loathing gnaws at my very being.

Something watches me, something all seeing.

The voices full of reproach and disdain

Claw at my bones and all is pain.

I want to move, I need to hide

I have nothing left. No will, no pride.

I wish that I was tiny, too small to see.

I could hide and recover and maybe I could be free.

I am tired of blame and threats. I am lost and in need of a mother.

Mine is long gone sadly, you only get one, no chance of another.

Okay the rules…

Obvious rules:

  • No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love‚Ķfirst post only.)
  • Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).

Other rules:

  • Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)
  • Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.
  • Tag‚Ķum‚Ķtentwotwelve five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.
  • Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don‚Äôt just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).
  • Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.
  • Include ‚Äúthe rules‚ÄĚ in your post.

Completely silly rules that someone  made up as they typed:

  • Drink a glass of wine, bottle of beer, cup of coffee, mug of herbal tea or whatever floats your boat after you hit ‚Äúpublish‚ÄĚ. (In other words, toast yourself. Go you!)
  • Read the post out loud in a Mickey Mouse voice.

who to  nominate 

dorindaduclos

Tess

Hugh

Kat

Lynz

 

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. TanGental
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 06:07:33

    You’ve come a long way since such grim times if you’re more upbeat writings are anything to go by

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Mar 03, 2017 @ 07:24:18

      Oh! Yes Geoff , I really have. I am so glad it shows ūüėä. It really helped but I do get embarrassed when I look and see how grim and low my early blogs are!! I have yet to catch up with your first blog!! ūüėä

      Reply

  2. Ritu
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 06:38:08

    Oh what a heartfelt please for understanding sis ūüíú

    Reply

  3. Trackback: My First Post #myfirstpostrevisited | How the Cookie Crumbles
  4. gigoid
    Mar 03, 2017 @ 22:48:54

    Good one, milady… I may have seen it, as we’ve been visiting each other since that year… I started on WP soon after you, in August, & found your site almost immediately, as I recall… It’s been a long road here, hasn’t it?…. Both of us used this venue as a helpful self-therapy, & now both of us have our pain under control… I guess it works pretty well, eh?…

    See ya, luv

    xxx

    gigoid

    Reply

    • willowdot21
      Mar 03, 2017 @ 22:52:21

      IT certainly does work and well!! We have travelled a long way! How about you you pull out dust off and re post your first post Ned I am sure it will be amazing!! Big hugs xxxxx

      Reply

      • gigoid
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 22:55:59

        I’ll see if I can do that… They were a lot smaller when I first began; I can probably fit it into one section now……

        Looking like I won’t make it for the Bash, but, maybe later in the year, if I can work it…

        See ya…

      • willowdot21
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 22:59:03

        Shame you can’t make the BB we would of loved to meet you !! Do repost your first blog ! if you canxxx

      • gigoid
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 23:05:06

        *Smile* I just looked it up, August 11, 2011, & found I recently reposted it, in a way… It was a reprint of the blog/article I wrote about Noah, my old dog who passed in 2011, not long before I began on WP. I’d written it, & gotten it posted on Triond, where it can still be found, by googling the title, An Ode To Noah….

        About a month ago, I reposted that article on ECR… but, I also found the next day’s post, for August 12, & will use it as a section tomorrow; it’s not a bad rant for my first one…

        *grin*

        Thanks; the idea saved me some time in the morning….

        *grin*

        xoxo

      • willowdot21
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 23:09:40

        Always happy to be of use I look forward to reading it !! ūüôā

      • gigoid
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 23:06:46

        It was on page 2 of the Google search

        https://gigoid.me/2011/08/19/an-ode-to-noah/

      • willowdot21
        Mar 03, 2017 @ 23:17:17

        read it and commented on it!! xx

  5. Trackback: Me, Myself & I – #MyFirstPostRevisited | Night Owl Poetry Dorinda Duclos
  6. Hugh's Views and News
    Mar 05, 2017 @ 15:19:05

    What a situation to be in to start writing a blog, Willow. But, so happy to hear it worked for you.
    Thank you for tagging me. Unfortunately, I deleted my very first post some time ago after reading some blog posts about bloggers being sued for using photos and/or images on their blogs that were not free to use. I was not 100% sure the images I had used in my first post (about lists), were free to use, so the whole post got deleted.
    Thank you for thinking of me, though, Willow.
    xx

    Reply

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