My dear Blog sister Ritu of But I Smile Anyway, who is sitting at home right now recovering from nasty bruises and shock from singlehandedly closing the M6 at the weekend. Thank God no one was hurt.
Thank you for nominating me Ritu , I don’t often do these type of posts but why not!
A tag started by a blogger/writer called Sarah Brentyn, asking us to revisit our first ever blog posts!
I wrote my first blog on June 26 2011. I was struggling with pain and depression while recovering from breaking my back, for the second time. I had been in hospital for a long time, I was unable to work, unable to get around and was watching my “friends” disappear like rabbits down a hole! I was attending a pain clinic where I was being seen by a pain physiologist who suggested I ” wrote my feeling down, write my pain out and see if that might help ” Thankfully she had hit the nail on the head it did help and I really am grateful to her.
This is my space
This is my space, don’t intrude.
It’s all that I have left, my safe place so don’t be rude.
It is dark out there and it is a hurtful place.
Don’t come near or I shall scratch your face.
This is all that I have to call my own.
Out there it’s hurt and fear and there is no way home.
The noise out there is endless and the bullying never stops.
The insults hurt they stick like dirt and they won’t wash off with the raindrops.
The ties that bind infect my mind, self blame becomes my crown
I am lost and so confused not knowing up from down.
I will not move I am protected here.
I am warm, tired and full of fear
Self loathing gnaws at my very being.
Something watches me, something all seeing.
The voices full of reproach and disdain
Claw at my bones and all is pain.
I want to move, I need to hide
I have nothing left. No will, no pride.
I wish that I was tiny, too small to see.
I could hide and recover and maybe I could be free.
I am tired of blame and threats. I am lost and in need of a mother.
Mine is long gone sadly, you only get one, no chance of another.
Okay the rules…
Obvious rules:
- No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)
- Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).
Other rules:
- Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)
- Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.
- Tag…um…
tentwotwelve five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.
- Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).
- Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.
- Include “the rules” in your post.
Completely silly rules that someone made up as they typed:
- Drink a glass of wine, bottle of beer, cup of coffee, mug of herbal tea or whatever floats your boat after you hit “publish”. (In other words, toast yourself. Go you!)
- Read the post out loud in a Mickey Mouse voice.
who to nominate
dorindaduclos
Tess
Hugh
Kat
Lynz
and link back to one of my posts so I can listen to your special songs too!
