#Gettoknowme to know me tag

Well  my  new  Blog  Bro Wafflemethis  has  been kind enough to nominate me for the #Gettoknowme tag.  I don’t  think  I  have  ever  done  one  of  these  before  so  let’s see what is  what.

1. Share your profile picture if you have one.

 

1. Who are you named after?  Well, when  my  parents  were  expecting  me , the  last  of  a  large  family. My  Dad’s  brother  Timothy  asked   if  I  was  a  girl would  they  call me  by   my  given  name. And  I  was,  so  I  am.

2. Do you like your handwriting?  Definitely  not,  my  writing  looks  like  a  spider  has  run  through  an  ink  pot. When I  was  about  5yrs , my  dad  took  the  fire  guard away  so  he  could  empty  the  ashes. My  brothers  were  playing  football in  the  house ( strictly  not  allowed) the  ball hit  me  and  I  fell putting  my  hand out  to  stop myself !  Being  a   left hander , it  was  my  left hand  that  went into  the  fire. After  a  trip  to  the  hospital with  my  bandaged, I went  to  school  where the  teachers  decided  to  make  me  use  my  right  hand….. scared  for  life!! 🙂

4. Longest relationship?  50yrs

5. Do you still have your tonsils?  No, long gone, I  do  remember  being  allowed  to have plenty of  Jelly  and Ice Cream .

6. Would you bungee jump?  Love  to given half  a chance.

7. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Yes

8. Favorite ice cream?  Vanilla

9. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their  eyes , the  window  to  the  soul.

10. Football or baseball?   Neither   really, I do  love  winter sports.

11. What color pants are you wearing? If  you  mean  knickers, beige ( grr most  boring  colour in  my  knicker  draw) if  you  mean  trousers unusually  I  am wearing  a dress today .

12. Last thing you ate? a sausage  roll.

13. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Can I  be  a rainbow one, or if  not an  emerald green.

14. Favorite smell?  Apple Pie with  cinnamon

15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My sister in  law.

16. Hair color?  Real colour was  blonde, colour of  choice  red.

17. Eye color?  Blue

18. Favorite foods to eat?    Cake, Sunday Roast, Indian,Chinese, Italian

19. Scary movies or happy endings?  I love both  but I  suppose  a happy ending  just  steals  the  march.

21. Favorite Holiday? A relaxing  beach holiday. If  you  mean  festival  Christmas.

22. Beer or Wine?  Wine, red, Wine  please, did I  say  wine?

23. Night owl or early bird? Night Owl

24. Favorite day of the week?  It  used  to be  Friday but  now  I  am retired any day  except Sunday.

24 1/2. Which three of your favorite bloggers you would like to know more about?  Judy. TanGental   Sue Vincent

25. Who were the latest three people to follow your blog (link to their about page)?

Denzil at  https://discoveringbelgium.com/about-us/

RIIAHV   MARIAH VENSON at https://mariahvenson414.wordpress.com/about/

Loveuary: Day 12. Love Lost.

The  lovely  and  talented Ritu  of butIsmileanyway.com has set us all off on Loveuary. I for one am excited with the task. What is love? We shall find out as the month goes on.

Link to Ritu’s post
Link to rules and prompts

Today  is  Day  12 of  Loveuary. Now  I  know Judy  of  Edwina’s Episodes  has  covered  this  subject  but as  I  had  planned  to  do  this  post, I have  asked  her  if  she  would  mind  me  doing  mine  and  she  gracefully  said  she  was happy  for  me  to. So my  post  today  is  Love  Lost. 

Did they know me, those tiny souls, did they grieve as they left, for me and their lives un -lived. I grieved for them though in those days to grieve for that loss was not done . Yet grieve I did for those souls lost that I had been gifted.

Had I done something wrong , was it something I moved or something I had lifted. I suppose I shall never know. It seemed so unkind that the first one was lost while I was out. In pub toilet, I was frightened and alone my husband and friends on the other side of the wall celebrating.  Was that soul as scared as me. God forgive me the inside of a toilet the first sight to see. I was mortified so guilty it was not even a shape so I flushed it away in fear. I bit on my lip to off set the pain I wanted to stop this but that was in vain. So I cleaned up the blood and painted my lips then wiped my mascara smudges with my finger tips.

The rest of the evening I sat and cried inside , “your quiet tonight is anything wrong ” I was asked  but of course I denied. I was gutted and hurt and slightly in pain  but so so empty inside. When we got home I shared my grief I was met with disbelief. Not of the facts but that I had  not said, well best not make  a fuss lets get you to bed.

It was not my fault the doctor said “natures way of clearing away anything that was not perfect. A practice run”. He was so bright and brisk ,off hand I was taken aback. Was nature so cruel so matter of fact. I had done nothing wrong he said, I needed more reassurance to assuage my guilt but he only suggest two days off work and a rest in bed.

Did that soul grieve did it  forgive me , I grieved for it for its soul and the life it did not see.

After the Christening of our first born , three  years later, I was exhausted and so hot, mind you it had been a lot of work and I had put in my all not being one to shirk. Things got worse and I knew at once what was happening to me. I did my best to get away from the visitors , the centre of attention was not what I wanted to be. We called the doctor when everyone had gone  he suggest I rest, with a young babe, come on!

I had lost one he told me  but the other was still there. I felt sorrow, grief  and guilt. For this to happen again it just did not seem fair. Try as I might I had only my self to blame I grieved  for a soul that my body had denied  life again. I thought I could  feel no worse but there was more to come, for a few days later I lost the other one .

A quick D and C will see you all right  you will be in hospital and out not even overnight. Yes that was true  and my body mended fast but the guilt for these souls was something that lasts.

Time is a great healer and I know that is true for life has given me plenty to do. I have three children and they are all boys they have given me hassle and they given me joys. I have had my hands full but they have all grown and flown, well. I remember my mother whispering to me “be glad with what you have and don’t fill your home with boys looking for a girl.” I knew she was right but back then it gave me no joy I felt a big hole created  by the tiny lost souls.

I have never discussed this in any depth till today, as when it all happened things like grief had all to be tucked away. I feel grief and guilt still, for the babies, there that  is the first time I have said that. But one question still remains with me till this day.

Did they know me, those tiny souls, did they grieve as they left, for me and their lives un-lived. I grieved for them though in those days, to grieve for that loss was not done . Yet grieve I did for those souls lost that I had been gifted, had I done something wrong.

 

Song Lyric Sunday: Doubts an Insecurity.

The  newly moved  Helen Espinosa  at  his  Life  OnTe  Word At A Time  has  told us  that:Our theme for Song Lyric Sunday is to post a song about the doubts and insecurity you experience in a relationship.

Rules and Pingback  here 

Now  there  are  many  many  songs about  the  first  signs of  the  cracks in  relationships   but  I  have  another Imogen Heap  song  that  expresses  this  sad  turn of  events  perfectly!

Lyrics To

“Run-Time”

Sparks might fly, in no time.
It’s a delayed reaction of the third kind. (ooh)
I’m so ready for this.
Shrink-wrapped tones, I can face the music.
Stop matters bonding us way beyond
Our best by-days.You know we’ve had it good, we’ve had it bad, so no hard feelings.
We’ve done all we could and all again. I’m done pretending.
Let’s quit while we’re still friends.

Making up stories that grew to be too tall,
My fortress to forget couldn’t take anymore.
You nearly watched me ruin everything, everything!
There’s a number one rule of don’t-do’s.
Well we knew it all too well.
You were supposed to be looking out for me!
Have you any idea how difficult it’s been?

You know we’ve had it good, we’ve had it bad, so no hard feelings.
We’ve done all we could, and all again. Let’s save ourselves a sorry ending.
You know we’ve had it good, we’ve had it bad, but this is as far as we can stretch.
Let’s stop pretending, stop pretending.
And quit while we’re still friends
[x2]

Well I was so young, misguided maybe.
But still this hands over my every pen to paper.
And this all started with a song.
Let this be our last one.
Drop, drop. Bridge, bridge!

We’ve had it good, we’ve had it bad, but this is as far as we can stretch.
Stop pretending!
And quit while we’re still friends.

I wish you well.
I wish you well… (I wish you well, wish you well, wish you well)

Wish you well, I wish you well, I won’t tell if you won’t tell.
I won’t hold it against you if you bow out gracefully. (gracefully)
Can we just not drag this out, please?
I wish you well, I wish you well, I won’t tell if you won’t tell.
I won’t hold it against you if you bow out gracefully, (do it gracefully!)
Can we just not drag this out?

A to Z Lyrics   found  here 

 

And  also a  classic , Barbara Streisand  and Neil Diamond. You Don’t  bring  me  flowers.

NEIL DIAMOND LYRICS

“You Don’t Bring Me Flowers”

You don’t bring me flowers
You don’t sing me love songs
You hardly talk to me anymore
When you come through the door
At the end of the dayI remember when
You couldn’t wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me

Now after lovin’ me late at night
When it’s good for you
And you’re feeling alright
Well, you just roll over
And you turn out the light

You don’t bring me flowers anymore

It used to be so natural
To talk about forever
But ‘used to be’s’ don’t count anymore
They just lay on the floor
‘Til we sweep them away

And baby, I remember
All the things you taught me
I learned how to laugh
And I learned how to cry
Well I learned how to love
Even learned how to lie

You’d think I could learn
How to tell you goodbye
‘Cause you don’t bring me flowers
Anymore

Well, you’d think I could learn
How to tell you goodbye
‘Cause you don’t bring me flowers
Anymore

A to Z Lyrics  HereA to Z Lyrics  Here