Day 4 LoveuaryLove of my parents

The  lovely  and  talented Ritu  of butIsmileanyway.com has set us all off on Loveuary. I for one am excited with the task. What is love? We shall find out as the month goes on.

Here is  a link  to  Ritu’s  post 

Link  to  Rules  and Prompts

Today, Day 4 I  am writing  a  letter  to  my  long  dead parents  who  I  owe  everything  to and  who  I love  and miss  daily  still. I wrote  a letter  to  them before on  my  blog  but  this  new  letter  is  all encompassing and  full of  things  I  wish  I  had  told  them  more  when  they  were  alive.  I  have  also  included  the  poems  I  wrote  about  Mum  and  Dad below  the  letter.

Dear Mum  and Dad

I don’t think I ever made  it clear enough  how I appreciated exactly  what  you did  for me. It is only  now  as a parent and grandma that I see  what  you must of  gone  through.

Nine   children  you had, nine. You lost  three  but  that was never  your  fault. How  did  you cope  Mum it must of been hard, and Dad  worse  for you because in those days  grieving  was not  the done thing. I lost  three babies  too I could not openly  grieve  either  but  you knew  you silently  gave me strength.

I am in  awe of how  you  always  managed to feed  and  dress us  all. There  was always  food on  the  table  and  somehow  the  doors  were  always  open  to waifs  and  strays who needed help. No one was ever  turned away  from our  door  without  help of  some kind. I can remember  there  being an endless stream  of  family  friends,  or  distant  cousins  with  problems  arriving  on our  doorstep. Some  stayed  longer  than others but no one  was  ever  turned away. I really  don’t know  how  we all fitted into that three  bed roomed terraced council  house, it must of  been like  the TARDIS. 

Who  helped you, did  anyone  or did  you have to struggle  through, learning haphazardly! You,  no  doubt  had  too and  that is  why  you were  both such  helpful parents. I am amazed  at  the sacrifices  you  must  of  made  to  keep us in  clothes, shoes  and food.

Dad, you  worked as a  body maker  for LT making seats on the buses and tubes! Off to work at  5am and home at  5pm for dinner then 6pm the BBC News … silence  reined! You  then  spent  most of  your  evenings  in  the  front room  either  at  the  table or  your  desk  with  your  ancient  typewriter. You had  men visiting  you , sometimes one  sometimes  more all coming  for  help and  advice  because  you  were  a union rep  and  congressman  for  the  NUVB ( National Union Of  Vehicle Builders). The last  visitor  was  about  10.30pm.  At  work  you  were  a union rep you  gave  so much  to others  and  yet  you  always  saved  so much  for us. When  you  retired  you  were tapped out the  length  of  the  factory. ( All  the  men  stood  by  their  machines  spanner  ot  happer in  hand  and  tapped  you  out of  the building, a sign of  respect. ) You  only live a  year or  so after  retirement. 

Mum  you  were such a  gentle  soul I  miss you  so,  You  let  your  body  long  before  you  died  and  that  broke  my  heart  because  I  could not  reach  you. I used  to bring  the  boys to see  you  at  the  nursing  home  you  spent  your last years in… although I  loved  to  see  you  it  hurt  that  you  did not  know  me and  you  did not  see the  boys  growing up . I think  you  missed  Dad  so  much  that  you  left in  soul  leaving  your  shell behind. 

Mum remember Wimbledon week  we had salad every evening because  you loved  the Tennis , funny  thing  Mum I can’t  stand  tennis!

 You have both  been gone so long  and I miss  you  both so. I need  you here  to give  me  the strength , kindness  and love. See  even now I am asking for  your  help. I am  so selfish, I was  so angry  when you died  Mum  because  you were not there  to talk to  me and  help  me, do you know  it took seven years  to accept  that  you had really  gone. Then  the  flood gates opened.

I have  so  many  wonderful  memories of  you  both. Getting up  at  4.30am  and  sneaking  down stairs  to  find  you  dad  shaving  in  the  kitchen,  we  would  share  your  breakfast, porridge or  boiled  egg before  you  went off  to  work.  Going  with  you  to  Chiswick  Park  on the tube  on a Saturday. You  would have  a haircut  while I  sat  and  watched  then  maybe  you  would  by  me  an ice cream. Walking Steve  the  dog  in  the  park … you always  called him Brother …because of  your  union work  no doubt .

Mum  you  were always  there  when I came  home  from  school, always  played  with  me , I  was  the  youngest of  the  family and  by  a good  while  so I  was  almost like  an only  child  but  not  because  everyone  else  was around  but I too young  to join them . I remember you telling  me  stories  and  teaching  me  to knit  sew  and  crochet  sadly  all of  which I  am useless  at! As  I grew  you  helped  me  with  life  and  although I  never  lived  that  near  to  you   you always  came  to  my  aid if I  needed  you .  When our  first  boy was  born premature and unable  to  breath  you  came  down to stay  with me  when P  finally  came home  from hospital. He  did not how  to  suck  so  you  helped  me  to spoon feed him  until we  got him to use  a teat. So  many  many  things  to  thank  you  for . 

eMum and  Dad  you  took  all six of us  and  taught  us  everything  you knew. How  to face  the  world, how  to love  how  to  be  friendly, caring  and honest. I like to  think that  you  are  watching over us  all and hopefully  being  proud  of us…. well mostly. . I like to think  that  our  beautiful sister  Mary  is  with  you  to after horrendous  illness  and  death  fifteen months ago.

I miss  you  and I love  you !

willow xxxxxxxx

Here is a link to  a poem about  Mum    and  here one  about  Dad.