RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #83 Gem&Flame


black_goldfish_by_selenada-d7nhv4qBright  eyes lit like gems

Black wings expose heart of fire

Raven Queen heart flame 


Like  a flame she shot

Past  the  sun’s dying soft gems

Tallons splay like flame




Love is in Da Blog: Mindful Monday

Just Fooling Around With Bee mentioned that  Mondays are dedicated to Mindfulness and Colleen’s Mindful Monday ~ Healthy Living!


And what on Earth might healthy living have to do with Love?

Bee believes changing your life style to a healthier mode is part of self-love. She also thinks that love always starts with us. If we are not able to accept ourselves and love ourselves, it’s hard to love others or do things we love.

Pingback and  rules


Well now I don’t use any apps to help me with mindfulness but I do use a book, music, Pilates and a Blog. All of  these  I have  grown to  love.
Okay a book, music and Pilates and a Blog does sound as exciting or exotic as The bell, the book and the candle! Yet it works.

The second time I broke my back I was in a bad way, I was flat on my back in hospital in a body corset unable to move for over a month. After three operations I was frightened, in pain and depressed. I had to rely on my hubby for everything. I felt trapped, controlled  and  angry.

I soon  found out  who  my  real  friends  were  and  believe  me  I  saw  so  many  drop  away. I  could  not  return  to  work , social events  were  difficult . Let’s  face  it  being on  crutches  and  not being  able  to  walk  far  ( I measured  my  progress in  Lamp posts) I dropped off  the radar. Then  all the  friends I  thought I had  turned out  to be acquaintances.

This  depressed  me more.The  pain  was  getting  me  down  and  so I was  sent  to  a pain  clinic. I  went  expecting  nothing . The  first  visit  was  a disaster  the  Dr  there  decided  to  change  my  neuropathic  pain  killers  ( pain killers  that  work on  the  nerves and  brain) from Pregrabalin  to  Gabapentin    These  are  really  strong  tablets  with  nasty  side effects. I asked  the  Dr how I  should  go  about  the  change   as I  was  on a  huge  dose  of  2 x  300mg 4 times a  day!  Well  she  told  me  to  tail  the Pregrabalin down over  a week  then  start  the  Gabapentin…………….. After  five  days  I  was  suffering  withdrawal  on  the  sixth  day  I  went  to  see  my  Dr…. well my  hubby  took  me  and I  crawled in!

My  Dr  informed  me  after I had  given him  my  symptoms  and  he had  examined  me  that I was  suffering  from withdrawal from the  Pregrabalin. He  said  it  should  of  been impressed on  me  to  come off  of  them  slowly over  a longer  period. He  said I just had  to go cold turkey. I know  what I had  been  told  though!

The  withdrawal lasted  nearly  three months  I stayed in bed most of  the time , I  was hot, I was  cold, I  shook, I had nightmares and  daymares, I ached  all over, I hallucinated, I had  night sweats  and  terrors and I was  sick. Hubby  had  to  sleep in  another  room I craved  the  tablets  and  much  much  more   I wanted  to  die.

Well I  survived  and  had  to start  the Gabapentin …. I was  also  taking  Tramadol, Omerprazole, Cylizine I was  a walking  pill box I rattled! Anyway I  am going on  a tad  so  long  story  short! After much  tooing   and throwing  the Drs  at  the  pain  clinic  decided I  should  see  the pain physiologist. This  actually  was  a life  saver.

I was lucky  for once  she and I  got on and  she helped  me to visualize  and  fight  my  pain. She  told  me to  accept it  as  a friend.  She  suggested I  start  a  blog  and  write out  my  pain. I did  everything  she  suggested  and it helped.

The Book:

Living Well With Pain And Illness:  written  by  Vidyamala Burch 

I identified with  the  author  after  the  first  page, as  soon as  she described  her  time in hospital  and her pain  I  realized  she  had  to know  what  she  was talking  about! She is  an expert on mindfulness. I do  strongly  recommend  her  to  everyone!



I started  going  to  the gym  and  started  core  classes  and Pilates . I was  told  by  a specialist  that I had no  core  strength in  my  spine  and  that  my  legs  were  taking  all  the strain. The Pilates  and  the  core  teachers  pushed  me hard. I start off  almost  bent  double  and using  a walking stick . Seven years  on from breaking  my  back  and  five years   since I  started  back at  the  gym, Pilates  and  core have got  me  standing up  as  straight  as possible  and  walking  and  feeling  strong . My teachers  and  the trainers at  the gym  have  helped  me so much. Although I have a  curve in  my  spine  that  will never go and  may  get  worse tougher  the  staff and teachers  have  helped me.


All through this  Music  has been  the sound track to my life Imogen Heap, Sia , Alanis Morissette and Alabama 3 and  many  more  have kept me , walking  , training  and  frankly  sane!

Music  to  walk and  exercise  by.


A good  few years  back I  returned  my  disabled parking  badge  ( boy  that  was  difficult) and  stopped  my  disability living  allowance, it  was  the lowest ( boy  that  was  even  harder) ! Sometimes  I  think it is  harder to stop benefits  than  get  them…. well maybe  not  but  you get  my  drift.  So no benefits, I still suffer  pain  and  some days  I  get  so tired  from pain  it is  a job to  move  around  the house let  alone  walk outside  but  hey I  am not in a  wheelchair I am standing ! I have made new  friends  and  you know what they are great!!

So listening  to the  book, the  music , my teachers  and my  blog I have  grown in mid fullness.

This is  the first  Positive Mindful poem I ever wrote. March 2012

Dancing in my  head 

You will not lose that curvature and  your figure will never be the same and I am sorry to say, dear, you need to get used to that pain.

Looking out the window I heard the words they said  but I was miles away by then dancing in my head .

When I get tired-out walking dragging through rain or snow their words creep back to bug me but I’ll work hard and all of them  I’ll show.

When I feel pushed and pressured and all I can think of is the words that they said. I close my eyes and bugger them I go dancing in my head!

When looking in the mirror is too much to bare and my clothes don’t look as they should so I feel none of them can I wear. I close my eyes and pick up the music thread and bugger them I go dancing in my head!

When pain is over baring and I can’t get out of bed I close my eyes and bugger them I go dancing in my head.  I am still me I know it even though I do not look the same when I am feeling at my worst I play my saving game. I am sorry if you think me rude and blanch at things I’ve said but when it all becomes too much I go dancing in my head.

I always loved to dance and get angry when I look back for not dancing more. Okay I would of had to have done so on my own my other half would not of joined me but now it is too late my dancing days have flown. So when I feel  tired or in pain or all I can think of is the words the doctors said I close my eyes and kick out, bugger them I am dancing in my head!


Okay  I have gone on  enough I had  no intention  of  writing  any of  this  but it  just  poured on  to the  page! So I  apologize . So to finish here is  a  poem I have  just  thought up using  the  first mindfulness exercise I ever learned .

Be Aware  be Mindful

Close your  eyes  and  listen what  can  you   hear

The beating  of  your heart, the  pumping of  your  blood

Feel the  cold wind  on your face, release  you mind let go of fear.

Kick off  your  shoes and  freeze  your  toes in  the mud.

Feel the  world around  you  but be at  one with yourself 

Experience  it  all and  be mindful of  the  world and  your  health 




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