If we were having coffee: Farewells , Funerals and Life

If we  were  having  coffee:

I am getting there

If we  were having coffee:The  weather  is  getting  distinctly  wintry, fogs, rain, frost  and  cold so  lets  all go inside  and  be  comfy by  the fire. Paul  and I  can  still entertain  you  all  with tea  and coffee  from all over  the world not to mention all our cakes  and muffins  and  as Paul  calls  them sweets! Every single  one  is  calorie  free! Plus of course  we now have spirits  and liquors  to warm the coldest of  you.

If we were having Coffee: I would  remind  you  that  there  are lots of  other  coffee mornings  all shared  and organized  By  Diana  and  Gene’O  over at,Part time monster

Do join in

If we were having  coffee: I would have  to  say  take  me  as  you  find  me, don’t  get  me  wrong  I  am delighted  that  you  have  all come. I truly  look forward  to  these  gatherings they  are one of my  weekly  treats. The  truth is I  am not  fully  recovered  from  the  funeral.May I  speak  a little of  it? Has  every  one  got  the  drink of  their  choice  and  a cake  or  biscuit, I  am having  a  hot  chocolate  with brandy.

If  we were having coffee:  We all arrived  on  the  Monday, while  some of  the  family  where  clearing out  M’s  house and  belongings  hubby  and I  had  the  better  task  (  though in  truth  it  was not  a task  at  all in fact it  was  a real pleasure ) of  entertaining  my cousin  and her  husband. We went  for  a walk along  the river  and  talked  about  M  and  the  family, my  cousin’s side  of  the family  ( my mum’s) then  we started on Grandparents  and  great grand parents. In  the  evening  we  all  went  for  a  meal in  a local  pub, it  was strange  to  feel  so happy  and  to  have  all brothers,  sisters,  in laws, nephews, nieces  and  children  tight  around us. Why  had  we left  a gathering like  this  until  the  night before  the  funeral…. why?

The  day of  the  funeral  was heartbreaking.  I accompanied  my  sisters  and one  cousin  to  see M , I could  not  stay in  the  room where  she  was  laid out in  the  coffin.  It  hurt me  so  to  see  the tiny  empty  shell, all that  was left of  my  beautiful  sister. Then it  was like  an interminable wait  until the  actual  funeral. I was grateful  that  all three  of  our  sons  came  they  were  a great  comfort  and  support. They  made  the hubby  very  proud.   Nine out  the  thirteen  nephews, nieces  and godchildren came  to  the  funeral, a  testimony to how much  she was loved. The  church  was  full  and  everyone  stayed  after  for  tea and  refreshments, so  many  people  and  they  all had  lovely  stories  to  tell us  about  our  sister M.

In  the  evening  we  all went out  for  another  meal  to  celebrate her life. There  were  more of  us  there  that  night  and  again  it  was a happy  occasion we  all told  stories  and  shared  memories . I did  wander if  this  was right  to  be happy  after  a funeral. Then after  some  thought I realized  that Mary  would be  so happy  that  we  were  all together  and  happy.

Afternoon Tea

If  we were having  Coffee : Well another  cuppa anyone? I promise that  even  though  I  am still reeling  from  all of  the  above  I  shall not  mention it  again, unless  asked I know  it  happens  to us  all and  that  it  happens all day  every  day  but  it is  the  first time I  have lost  a sibling.

If we  were having  coffee: I  would  say  that  the  rest  of  this  week  after  Wednesday have  past , shopping  , cleaning, going to  the gym, cooking.  I have  made it  thus far and  no  doubt  I  shall come out  the other side  and get on  with life.

We have  also  over  the last  month  had  a  new  kitchen  installed, it is  beautiful and  when I  can  concentrate  on  it  I  shall show  you  it… it is  not  finished  yet.

wpid-img_20151107_144457572_hdr.jpg
Part of the new Kitchen

And of course  the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE:  WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time  Monster  and Gene’O’s

afternoon tea

Author: willowdot21

Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.

34 thoughts on “If we were having coffee: Farewells , Funerals and Life”

  1. As hard as the funeral was, you will always remember all those people who came to pay respects to your sister, and to tell you their wonderful stories about her. She must have been a very special lady to have engendered such love that the church was full.

    PS: I love your new kitchen. Bake me some cookies whenever you’re ready.

    1. Thank you CM for your wise words. You are right and that is a memory I can keep and I will . When the kitchen is finally ready cookies will be cooked!!

  2. Dear Willow, thank you for sharing this with us! I know it will take you time to feel better:) It sounds like a truly beautiful occasion although so sad! I am glad everyone was there and you shared memories and laughing and talking about her!! A huge hug from me to you!! I am happy you are talking about it because as you said we all go through it and we are your friends! 🙂

    1. Thanks Lynz that really means so much to me and I did feel better after hitting post. I hope someone in the same position my take heart from it. xxx

      1. yes I thought about what you said about being happy, but then I read what you said about her loving it and yes I can imagine, everyone there all celebrating her, telling fond memories. I am sure that was a lovely time she would have enjoyed!!!A special family time:)

  3. Hi there sending you a hug :-). I believe it is ok to be happy even at a funeral. Both is necessary: the sadness to have lost but also the happiness to have had.

  4. I can’t imagine losing my sister – it must be one of the worst feelings in the world. I can’t think of any comment to leave you comfort, but didn’t want to leave without saying anything; simply put, I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a week.

    It is good that you all had the chance to share happy memories together, and I hope with time that those will be the overriding memories.

  5. Willow! How lovely to find you in this little group. First off, I send you my condolences on losing your sister. I don’t even want to think of losing either of mine.
    I truly believe funerals should be celebrations of the person’s life. If I had had connections, I swear I would have held Mick’s (my husband) funeral in a pub (like in P.S., I Love You!) I didn’t, yet I still served beer and chicken wings as he would have liked. We spent a lot of time laughing through our tears because his life, way too short, was filled with good and he touched so very many people. I choose to focus on all the wonderful times we shared in the almost 20 years we were together and move forward. And I am. As you will.
    Love your kitchen (the little snippet we can see!)
    So happy to have found you here for coffee talk – I just started this week…

  6. Willow, I’m sure you must be exhausted from sadness as well as all the activity around the funeral. So glad you could feel genuine happiness and make no apologies, your sister was your sister and you have every entilement to grieve.
    Hope you get a chance to take it easy. XX

    1. Thank God Jean, I know you are right peace will come. I am very busy right now which is good. I know I will get there in the end. It will a week today since the funeral.xxxx

      1. Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings; there midnight’s all a-glimmer, And noon a purple glow, 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Pennsivity

✨Epicseekerblog, ever seeking answers to questions newly formed in Poems ‘n Stuff, ✨

New2Writing

KL CALEY

luna's on line

Writing and Stuff by Chris Hall - Storyteller and Accidental Blogger

Writing to be Read

Authors' Blog - Book Reviews, Author Profiles and Reflections on Writing

Second Wind Leisure Perspectives

Fun, Fitness & Photography

glyn40wilton

A mixed bag

Pacific Paratrooper

This WordPress.com site is Pacific War era information

A Teacher's Reflections

Thirty Years of Wonder

Butterfly Sand

Curiosity run amok . . .

Laura McHarrie @ The Hidden Edge

Another Way of Looking at Your Business

Shan Jeniah's Lovely Chaos

Finding Yessings and Blessings in Lifes Messings!

Gypsie’s Wonderful World of Words

Poetry, Flash Fiction, Stories, Musings, Photos

But I Smile Anyway...

Musings and memories, words and wisdom... of a working family woman

Ella Craig

Write here, write now.

Gary A Wilson Stories

A Dime of Time: Mostly 10 Minute Stories, Fiction and Memoirs

Therapy Bits

Living life with dissociative identity disorder and complex ptsd

LADY LEWIS

...what Lady A Lewis thinks about it...

No Facilities

Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

theindieshe

The independent she who loves life

365 And Counting

there's plenty more where the first year came from

Ruth Blogs Here

Or not, depending on my mood

Expert In Managing Data Using Excel, Word, PDF

I am with 12 years of experience and ready to achieve any type of works such as, converting any form from JPG, PDF, ...etc into Excel,Word, PowerPoint and other editable forms, In addition to having a deep experience in inserting and managing data

The Art of M.

Life & The Artistic Creations of M. Snyder

France & Vincent

Writing Magic, Myth and Mystery

Sun in Gemini

SteveTanham - writing, mysticism, photography, poetry, friends

Hot Dogs and Marmalade

Salty like hot dogs (and tears). Sweet like marmalade (and life).

Two on a Rant

Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.

Ivor.Plumber/Poet

An Old Plumber, An Ex-Carer, An Amateur Poet, Words From The Heart

Trent's World (the Blog)

Random Ramblings and Reviews from Trent P. McDonald

Shelley Wilson Author

Multi-Genre Author of YA Fantasy and Non-Fiction Self-Help

Marsha Ingrao - Always Write

Having fun blogging with friends

Caramel

Learner at Love

Chel Owens

A Wife, My Verse, and Every Little Thing

Silver Moon Cove

Sacred Soulsongs

%d bloggers like this: