If we were having coffee: Farewells , Funerals and Life
If we were having coffee:
If we were having coffee:The weather is getting distinctly wintry, fogs, rain, frost and cold so lets all go inside and be comfy by the fire. Paul and I can still entertain you all with tea and coffee from all over the world not to mention all our cakes and muffins and as Paul calls them sweets! Every single one is calorie free! Plus of course we now have spirits and liquors to warm the coldest of you.
If we were having Coffee: I would remind you that there are lots of other coffee mornings all shared and organized By Diana and Gene’O over at,Part time monster
If we were having coffee: I would have to say take me as you find me, don’t get me wrong I am delighted that you have all come. I truly look forward to these gatherings they are one of my weekly treats. The truth is I am not fully recovered from the funeral.May I speak a little of it? Has every one got the drink of their choice and a cake or biscuit, I am having a hot chocolate with brandy.
If we were having coffee: We all arrived on the Monday, while some of the family where clearing out M’s house and belongings hubby and I had the better task ( though in truth it was not a task at all in fact it was a real pleasure ) of entertaining my cousin and her husband. We went for a walk along the river and talked about M and the family, my cousin’s side of the family ( my mum’s) then we started on Grandparents and great grand parents. In the evening we all went for a meal in a local pub, it was strange to feel so happy and to have all brothers, sisters, in laws, nephews, nieces and children tight around us. Why had we left a gathering like this until the night before the funeral…. why?
The day of the funeral was heartbreaking. I accompanied my sisters and one cousin to see M , I could not stay in the room where she was laid out in the coffin. It hurt me so to see the tiny empty shell, all that was left of my beautiful sister. Then it was like an interminable wait until the actual funeral. I was grateful that all three of our sons came they were a great comfort and support. They made the hubby very proud. Nine out the thirteen nephews, nieces and godchildren came to the funeral, a testimony to how much she was loved. The church was full and everyone stayed after for tea and refreshments, so many people and they all had lovely stories to tell us about our sister M.
In the evening we all went out for another meal to celebrate her life. There were more of us there that night and again it was a happy occasion we all told stories and shared memories . I did wander if this was right to be happy after a funeral. Then after some thought I realized that Mary would be so happy that we were all together and happy.
If we were having Coffee : Well another cuppa anyone? I promise that even though I am still reeling from all of the above I shall not mention it again, unless asked I know it happens to us all and that it happens all day every day but it is the first time I have lost a sibling.
If we were having coffee: I would say that the rest of this week after Wednesday have past , shopping , cleaning, going to the gym, cooking. I have made it thus far and no doubt I shall come out the other side and get on with life.
We have also over the last month had a new kitchen installed, it is beautiful and when I can concentrate on it I shall show you it… it is not finished yet.
Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and
hopefully in to light ??
I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well.
I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits.
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34 thoughts on “If we were having coffee: Farewells , Funerals and Life”
Congrats on new kitchen and condolences. Your photo of the afternoon tea is so colorful. I hope you’re well, Willowdot! XOXO
Thank you on both counts, and yes I am well. How are you is the shoulder recovered ! xxxx
Shoulder is growing stronger all the time. Less pain, too, yeah!
Good, great to hear that! xx
As hard as the funeral was, you will always remember all those people who came to pay respects to your sister, and to tell you their wonderful stories about her. She must have been a very special lady to have engendered such love that the church was full.
PS: I love your new kitchen. Bake me some cookies whenever you’re ready.
Thank you CM for your wise words. You are right and that is a memory I can keep and I will . When the kitchen is finally ready cookies will be cooked!!
Thanks for sharing!
Dear Willow, thank you for sharing this with us! I know it will take you time to feel better:) It sounds like a truly beautiful occasion although so sad! I am glad everyone was there and you shared memories and laughing and talking about her!! A huge hug from me to you!! I am happy you are talking about it because as you said we all go through it and we are your friends! 🙂
Thanks Lynz that really means so much to me and I did feel better after hitting post. I hope someone in the same position my take heart from it. xxx
yes I think it will help someone or many for sure!
🙂 thank you. ❤
🙂 I am glad it was happy although sad as you said your sister would have been happy with that!
She loved big family occasions and would of loved both evenings
yes I thought about what you said about being happy, but then I read what you said about her loving it and yes I can imagine, everyone there all celebrating her, telling fond memories. I am sure that was a lovely time she would have enjoyed!!!A special family time:)
Yes, yes indeed. xxx
Hi there sending you a hug :-). I believe it is ok to be happy even at a funeral. Both is necessary: the sadness to have lost but also the happiness to have had.
Yes that is so true, and as they say life goes on and we have her in our hearts! xxxxxxxxxx
I can’t imagine losing my sister – it must be one of the worst feelings in the world. I can’t think of any comment to leave you comfort, but didn’t want to leave without saying anything; simply put, I’m so sorry that you’ve had such a week.
It is good that you all had the chance to share happy memories together, and I hope with time that those will be the overriding memories.
Hello Lauren thank you so much for your kind words.I shall hold the memories dear!
So sorry about your sister—wishing you comfort during what I can only imagine is an incredibly difficult time. ❤
Thank you Diana I know life must go on. ❤
Thank you Diana.xxx
You’re quite welcome. Hope you have a better week this week.
Yes so so I xx<3
Thank you so much xxx
Willow! How lovely to find you in this little group. First off, I send you my condolences on losing your sister. I don’t even want to think of losing either of mine.
I truly believe funerals should be celebrations of the person’s life. If I had had connections, I swear I would have held Mick’s (my husband) funeral in a pub (like in P.S., I Love You!) I didn’t, yet I still served beer and chicken wings as he would have liked. We spent a lot of time laughing through our tears because his life, way too short, was filled with good and he touched so very many people. I choose to focus on all the wonderful times we shared in the almost 20 years we were together and move forward. And I am. As you will.
Love your kitchen (the little snippet we can see!)
So happy to have found you here for coffee talk – I just started this week…
Willow, I’m sure you must be exhausted from sadness as well as all the activity around the funeral. So glad you could feel genuine happiness and make no apologies, your sister was your sister and you have every entilement to grieve.
Hope you get a chance to take it easy. XX
Thank God Jean, I know you are right peace will come. I am very busy right now which is good. I know I will get there in the end. It will a week today since the funeral.xxxx
‘For peace comes dropping slow
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings; there midnight’s all a-glimmer, And noon a purple glow,
It’s so peaceful, isn’t it?
Stunning words of calm from a fabulous poet!