THE FIRST POST CHALLENGE

The rules:

link your first post
name the type of the post
explain why this was your first post (reason for writing)
nominate fellow bloggers to participate in the challenge

So here is my first blog post ever:

This is my space

This is my space, don’t intrude.

It’s all that I have left, my safe place so don’t be rude.

It is dark out there and it is a hurtful place.

Don’t come near or I shall scratch your face.

This is all that I have to call my own.

Out there it’s hurt and fear and there is no way home.

The noise out there is endless and the bullying never stops.

The insults hurt they stick like dirt and they won’t wash off with the raindrops.

The ties that bind infect my mind, self blame becomes my crown

I am lost and so confused not knowing up from down.

I will not move I am protected here.

I am warm, tired and full of fear

Self loathing gnaws at my very being.

Something watches me, something all seeing.

The voices full of reproach and disdain

Claw at my bones and all is pain.

I want to move, I need to hide

I have nothing left. No will, no pride.

I wish that I was tiny, too small to see.

I could hide and recover and maybe I could be free.

I am tired of blame and threats. I am lost and in need of a mother.

Mine is long gone sadly, you only get one, no chance of another.

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1What type of post was it?

An angry and hurt post, an immature post, a post unsure of what it really was trying to say. It was though an honest post full of the pain and angst that I was feeling at the time.

2 explain why this was your first post (reason for writing)

After my acident and time in hospital I was hurt mentally and physically. I was angry that I had to retire from my job and by how so many people who I had thought to be good friends had dropped me because I could not get around as used to.

I found it very hard to cope with the pain and the fear that I might never be the same again. I had a lot of pain to deal with and I was on a huge drug regime. Nothing seemed to work and drug changes made things even worse. Eventually I was refered to the pain clinic at the hospital in my area. After several visits I was refered to to see the pain physcologist.

This was a lucky day for me, she encouraged me to write out my pain, fears and feelings in poetry. Start a blog she said …. so I took her advice. I thank her often.

3 nominate fellow bloggers to participate in the challenge

Who shall I nominate to join the challenge?

I look forward to reading your first post!