Hopelessness holding me down, my spirits sinking spiraling round.
Ever near the cracks of doom and I am going down, underground.
Lonely phantoms running skeletal fingers through my messed up hair
Pending unhappy endings awaiting me, the demons are coming , this is not fair.
Miasma curling, swirling round, screams of anguish the only sound
Even the moon desserts me, in the dark I weep in grief I am bound!
Author: willowdot21
Female, wife, full time mother and Grandmother. I am not as happy go lucky as I used to be but I am still bubbling along on simmer! I have three handsome sons all grown and flown.The youngest married with a beautiful wife and two sons of his own. Eleven years ago I was working, running a home, driving and socializing then bang in a split second all that was gone. I had an accident at home. I broke my back, not for the first time, I had broken it 10 years previously as well. Unfortunately this time I had broken it really badly and it was truly messed up so I had to have two operations. I was told before each operation that the outcome could mean I spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Still as some guy once wrote "I am still standing " yes "better than I ever was " not quite but with the help of a walking stick and as long as I do not stand or sit in one position for too long, I am still standing! Update I no longer use the walking stick . I had lots of friends before the accident but when things like this happen, you loose most of them. Their lives move on and mine stood still and so they left me behind ...I know that is just the way life is but it hurt and always will. Then I looked around and saw those who were still there for me, these friends are the roses in my garden they need to be tended well. They are the diamonds in the dust, I will of been married 50yrs plus this year . Pain and boredom are my enemies now, I have to find different ways to approach life, use my pain befriend it almost...yer right , well that is what they tell me at the pain clinic ROFLMAO ...... if only I could! I have found an outlet for my fears, frustrations and night terrors . I have started writing poetry if that name can be applied to my writing. I hope I do not come over as a moaning winger. I hope I am past all that. I also hope that you might see how the poetry is moving from very dark through the grey and hopefully in to light ?? I need to update this a little here. I have worked very hard over the years since my accident, I go to the gym regularly, I have a Pilates class and a core class once a week . The guys at the gym and my Pilates teacher cajoled, teased, bullied and encouraged me to abandon my walking stick! :) My back is no longer straight it is C shaped because of the injury and I have lost two and a half inches in height but my Pilates and Core teachers have helped me to stand up as straight and as strongly as possible. Pain and depression are still hanging on my arm but I have weapons to use against them and if I say so myself I cope well. I have made lots of new friends, real diamonds. I am also very grateful for all the support and help I have encountered here on Wordpress. Hugs and welcome to everyone who visits. View all posts by willowdot21
willowdot21 
Heavens Willow, you have a dark side. Well written and impactful.
We all have a dark side the thing is not to cross over! 😉
Hugs! ♡♡♡ I feel this, Willow.
Thanks Audrey you are so insightful. ❤
Pinned. No way out. Ouch. ❤
There is always a chance.<3
Hope then? Aah. ❤
Hope is like a baby flower hiding in the bud.
We need it wake up to bloom and pray it’s not a dud
Unless . of course it’s a milk dud,
In which case we can happily nip it in the bud.
He he he he
Well said, Willow. Spot on. ❤
😉