If We Were Having Coffee Guest Post– May 23/2015: Unintended Consequences

Unintended Consequences

Shamrock Afternoon Tea

Paul your Barista

Paul your Barista

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul, I’ll be your barista today and I’m happy to be here once again. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Willow has plumped the cushions and started a cozy fire so we can warm ourselves while we have a cuppa and chat. As usual, I’d be pleased to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy our world-wide readership. Also available is a large selection of spirits for addition to your cuppa or in its place. We can relax while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

Well. I have to tell you this story – it is rather humorous and underlines the happenings of unintended consequences. I have been having issues with restless legs in dialysis. For those who have not encountered this, it is when your legs move, sometimes violently without your intention that they do so. It can happen during treatment or sometimes during sleep or when resting. When it continues for a long period it becomes very annoying. To address this the docs dole out sedatives. The thing is they do not want patients addicted or just out of it, so they gradually increase the dosage until the condition is either gone or tolerable. I have been taking two pills before dialysis for months now and they have been working. For some reason they stopped working recently so we have been adding more and more. Friday night I tried a new medication and it just knocked me out – I slept through dialysis and all went well. So far so good. When we were done, I went to the emergency department door where the pick up is located for my handicap transport. It was 11:00pm and my p/u was scheduled for 11:30 pm. I went outside and had a smoke (a rollie) but it was a bit cold so I went back inside. There is no area marked for the pick up, so I rolled over a wheel chair and sat facing the entrance.

I sat down with my coat on and my tote bag beside me and promptly fell asleep – left over effects of the medication. I don’t normally sleep well, but there in that wheelchair I had a grand time in slumberland. I awoke after what I thought was a 15 or 20 minute nap, checked my phone to see the time and realized that it was 12:51. The handicap transport (Para) finishes at midnight. I tried calling them and of course there was no answer. Sigh, now what? I knew that the hospital had taxi chits for emergencies so I walked back to dialysis and spoke to Kathy who was the head nurse on the overnight shift. She was surprised to see me and I explained what had happened. She called the on-duty social worker who hangs out overnight in Emergency. They were having a code Blue in Emergency and she said she would get over as quick as possible. I fell back asleep in my trusty wheelchair facing the dialysis desk. At 2 am I woke up again and still no social worker. At 2:15 she bustled in half running with a taxi chit. She explained that they were still too busy in Emergancy so she had gone up to Intensive Care on the other side of the hospital to get the chit. We filled it out and I called a taxi.15 minutes later I was home – at 2:30 am.

So, we seem to have found a solution to the restless legs, unfortunately it has the somewhat unintended consequence of keeping me asleep well after dialysis. Ha! Would you like a refill of your cuppa? A sweet perhaps?

Congratulations Ireland for being the first country in the world to welcome gay rights and marriage with a referendum. The historic vote passed with over 60% agreeing, at this point of writing (still a few more votes to be counted). Definitely a resounding welcome for gays to Ireland. The lesser item on the referendum – the reduction of age limit for President to 21 – appears to have resulted in a “No” decision at this time. When the gay rights vote is dissected there were some smaller rural areas that voted strongly against gay marriage. Given the heavy Catholic presence in these areas, this is not surprising.

However, in keeping with the title of this post, I suspect this is going to create some strong divisions within communities. We are not talking about legislation to increase armed forces or change foreign policy – but rather legislation that will put strong personal beliefs in direct, daily conflict within communities. This is legislating beliefs, not hardware or policy – things that are seldom if ever seen by the general public. Now strict Catholic Aunt Ethyl will be living next door to a flamboyant gay couple and see them at the market daily and share a fence, a paperboy, a mailman, and milkman with them. This is going to take some getting used to and is going to produce some serious conflict in the near term. That being the unintended consequence, it is a big step towards equality and fairness in society.

On that note, that’s about all we have room for this week, so it’s time to settle in with another cuppa and watch the fire. Sweets anyone? Please join me in thanking Willow for her invitation to tea. We are all honored that you dropped by today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. Willow is over there serving her guests and chatting it up. Let’s go see how she is today. Have a great week. We look forward to seeing you back here for sweets and beverages of your choice again next week.

And of course  the


over at Part Time  Monster  and Gene’O’s

43 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Paul
    May 23, 2015 @ 20:00:32

    Thanks so much for the opportunity to guest post Willow. I hope your week goes well.


  2. cordeliasmom2012
    May 23, 2015 @ 20:46:27

    Glad your dialysis is going better, Paul.

    As for the Irish decision – I’d much rather have a nice gay couple next door to me than the hooker who’s there now.


  3. markbialczak
    May 23, 2015 @ 22:33:32

    You sleep so well when you’re not supposed to, Paul. Wow. That’s sort of scary. Glad you got that chit taxi home. And thanks for having us over again, Willow!


    • willowdot21
      May 24, 2015 @ 05:50:19

      My pleasure Mark. Paul is on his way


    • willowdot21
      May 24, 2015 @ 06:18:25

      That’s just typical isn’t a glut when you shouldn’t and a dearth when you should!!


    • Paul
      May 24, 2015 @ 06:22:52

      Thanks for the read Mark. if worse had come to worse I could have found a bed in the hospital until 6am when Para opens for the day. You are right- it is funny that I have issues with sleep and yet fall asleep in the wheel chair. But hey I was parked where the pick up was – my guess is that the driver went to the wrong entrance. They are doing construction and there are two alternate entrances for pick ups – they are having trouble figuring out which is which. I know I was at the right door.Para deals in customers who are not mobile, who are suffering dementia and so on, so they are required to enter the building and find the customer and help them to the bus. As I said I was parked facing the door no more than 20 feet from the door, dressed in a coat and with a bag beside me. It is not possible that a driver saw me and missed the fact that I was the customer. Anyway, I called for an explanation today and they are going to have customer service call me back on Monday.

      Thanks for dropping by Mark I appreciate it.


  4. TanGental
    May 24, 2015 @ 06:50:52

    Hi Paul. Good that the hospital sorted you out with a way home. On the marriage vote and discrimination, did this case reach the Canadian news? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-32791239 It’s a Northern Ireland case so part of the UK rather than Republic legal framework and has caused a real hoo hah over here around the right for a business to determine who they sell to. Nailing my (rainbow) colours to the mast, I think the decision is correct. Once you are working in the public domain, which any business is, you cannot discriminate on whatever grounds. What about you? How would you see this?


    • willowdot21
      May 24, 2015 @ 07:47:50



    • Paul
      May 24, 2015 @ 11:30:31

      Hi TG! I agree with the court ruling. We did get news of this court case here. As soon as the bakery opens its doors to the public, they become subject to the rules of discrimination and must serve every customer equally. Regardless of their beliefs – they are not a religious organization, they are a bakery and must act as such – as if there were no beliefs just the laws. I applaud your honesty in raising the colors TG – my Mother is a lesbian. The amount of discrimination that happens is hard to see or believe until one is non-hetero. She is lucky in that she lives in Vancouver which is a large city on Canada’s west coast. It is known for its tolerance and acceptance – in fact, contrary to Canadian law, the city has authorized the sale of marijuana within city limits and there are now multiple stores doing just that. They have a large and thriving LGBT community. A lot of Canadian law regarding LGBT rights is initiated there.

      I am a big fan of separation of church and state. In fact the involvement of Evangelical Groups in politics in the US bothers me. I think it is a mistake that will have unintended negative consequences.

      Thanks so much for the read and comment TG. please drop by again.


      • Barry
        May 29, 2015 @ 12:02:02

        Hi Paul, Nice to stumble across this blog. It’s about time you got your own so I can find you more easily.

        I find myself disagreeing with the court’s decision. There’s a good post on this topic over at Zingcreed that points out the confusion of ideology with identity. The author writes:
        If someone were to refuse to sell me flowers because I am lesbian, minority ethnic or Christian, that would be unacceptable. That does not mean that I should be able to demand that a florist who is atheist prepare a huge floral display stating “Jesus is Lord”!

        I have turned away a potential customer who wanted me to host an anti-LGBT Website. I’ve also turned down Websites for a swingers’ club, a rather unsavoury (but legal) fetish, and one for a potential customer, who to put it kindly, was a bigoted religious zealot. If someone requested I host a pro-smoking Website, I would refuse to do so. I believe I have that right.

        Imagine a gay atheist baker being required to decorate a cake emblazoned with “Imprison Fags” or “Atheists burn in Hell”. Imagine a supermarket being prosecuted because its owner had decided that he didn’t want to stock some food items because he considered them bad for one’s health.

      • willowdot21
        May 29, 2015 @ 14:58:33

        Hi Barry sit down have a cuppa, Paul will be with you ASAP. Hummm, you have made me think! xxx

      • Paul
        May 29, 2015 @ 16:46:13

        Hi Barry, thanks for coming by. About my blogs, I am here every Sunday – Willow has graciously asked me to have a regular guest post. I have missed a few when I was sick, but only 2 or 3 over the last year. Cordelia’s Mom keeps a list over at http://cordeliasmomstill.com/ On the header there is a clickable choice marked “Want more Paul Curran?” Click on that and it will take you to a list. For posts on Cordelia’s Mom – there is a drop down menu under “Categories” on the right side. Click on that and then select “Paul Curran” – it will take you to all the posts that I have done on Cordelia’s Mom. There will be a post there on Monday,There will also be another post – an essay – over at https://julienoblog.wordpress.com/ Monday.

        So onto the cake. This da*n cake has been popping up all over the world. i think it is irrelevant. When i trucked , what was in the boxes or written on them was none of my business. I offered a service and once that service is made public I am obliged to carry it out as long as it is within the realm of the law. It would be silly for me to say I will only carry that which i believe in – in that case i wouldn’t carry cases of Korans. It is called separation of church and state. The bakery in not a religious organization. If those who are religious wish to engage in enterprise, then they must serve all customers as long as the request is legal. “Jesus is Lord” is legal and in fact is protected under law and freedom of religion. Those who will not write that are shooting themselves in the foot because they are denying freedom of religion. And that will eventually bite them on the ass. I don’t like evangelicals. Should that give me the right to refuse to write “Evangelicals Rule!”on a cake? of course not.Or how about if i cheer for the Toronto Maple Leafs (hockey team)and hate the New York Rangers? Does that give me the right to refuse to put “new York Rangers ” on a cake? Of course not, and remember there is no argument about religions – the law protects the pursuit and practice of religion of choice – it does not allow the service of competing religion to be refused in any legal matter – and that includes writing on a cake. There is no difference between selling the cake and writing “Jesus Rules” on it – they are a service offered by the bakery and should be required to be available to all customers asking for legal requests.

        As far as writing “Imprison Fags” or “Atheists burn in Hell”. as you suggested – that is considered promotion of hatred here in Canada and is illegal – punishable by large fines and imprisonment. No one can ask to have that written on anything – in fact it is illegal to say it except in discussion by making it clear it is illegal..

        As far as I am concerned you are perfectly justified in refusing advertising that does not reflect your beliefs. And here is why: Your blog is a presentation of your beliefs – its popularity and readability is based on your opinions. Any advertising that goes against those beliefs could cause you loss of readership.You can check with any newspaper or online presence – they only permit advertising that is consistent with their message. This is allowable because to do otherwise would jeopardize your potential earnings. (by dropping readership and hence reducing potential advertising revenue.) This is not the case when writing Jesus Rules on a cake – it does not have the potential to reduce revenue.

        The whole issue with the cake is separation of church and state. Religious people are fools to refuse to obey this rule – it will eventually come back to haunt them if they make in roads on breaking down that barrier. By the way, the supermarket can refuse to stock anything they want – as long as they will sell what they have to any legal customer. they are not religious so that argument does not exist.

        Thanks so much for dropping by Barry. It is a pleasure as always to exchange opinions with you. Please come by again.

      • Barry
        May 30, 2015 @ 00:07:22

        Paul, I’m not talking about advertising. I run a small web hosting business, Many Websites I host have nothing on them to indicate I host them. You would need to discover the IP address of the website, and then do some searching to discover it’s an IP address I’m responsible for.

        The law is obviously very different here to what it is in Canada. Here, an “offer for sale” does not place an obligation on the seller, nor does an “offer to purchase” put an obligation on a buyer. It’s illegal to discriminate on the grounds of race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, or age, or to advertise falsely, but having a shop, or advertising a product does not commit the seller to anything. Ultimately a sale is negotiated between buyer and seller.

        DIY stores often refuse to sell glues and solvents to individuals because they suspect the purchaser might abuse their use. There is no law that prevents the store from selling to suspected abusers. Here, I do have the right not to put “New York Rangers” on a cake. It’s a right that I believe should not be taken lightly.

      • Paul
        May 30, 2015 @ 10:19:35

        Really. That’s fascinating Barry. I must say that i am surprised by that.It must lead to some interesting court cases – it could easily be construed here as discrimination in certain situations. So, if I go into a Jewish bar then they can refuse me service because I am Christian? interesting.

      • Barry
        May 30, 2015 @ 20:55:21

        So, if I go into a Jewish bar then they can refuse me service because I am Christian?.” Of course not. That would be discrimination. But if the Christian demanded a cocktail named “Jesus Lives”, then the bar tender would be within his rights not to mix it.

        As to court cases, we’re not a litigious people, and court cases such as discrimination would most likely be brought by the Dept of Internal affairs, not the complainant. And then only for repeat offences. The policy here is to educate first, and to prosecute only as a last resort.

      • willowdot21
        May 30, 2015 @ 20:57:01


      • Barry
        May 31, 2015 @ 00:36:52

        Why the sad face?
        1. The unmixed cocktail
        2. Kiwis are not litigious
        3. A govt dept is involved
        4. Educate before prosecute
        5. Someting else

      • Paul
        May 30, 2015 @ 21:00:35

        I don’t see the difference between serving the customer and mixing a cocktail – it’d still serving isn’t it?

      • Barry
        Jun 01, 2015 @ 06:08:28

        If the bar tender didn’t want to mix or serve a particular drink, then he doesn’t have to. Who the customer is, Jew, Christian or atheist is irrelevant. On the other hand he cannot choose not to serve a person of a particular religion or ethnicity. Surely the difference is obvious?

      • Paul
        Jun 01, 2015 @ 07:45:01

        Not obvious to me at all. The definition of service in a bar is serving the customer the drink they want – provided the ingredients are available and the bartender knows how.. For instance if you went into a bar and asked for a rum and coke and you could see the rum behind the counter and the coke was in a machine -also obvious and the bartender refused, you could sue the bar for refusal of service. Why should it be any different if it was a religious drink? If he said that he didn’t serve people with beards – that’s discrimination. What ever his reason – refusal of service is chargeable. As far as refusing service for religious reason – you are operating a public company governed by the law and refusal of service on religious grounds is discrimination on religious grounds and that is very against the law. The key here Barry, is that a public company is not a religious organization. They must obey the rules under which all companies operate – and refusing service based on religious grounds is a two way street – it means that the customer’s religion is the basis of the discrimination.

        What if you wanted to build a place of worship and you needed lumber? You go to the building supply store and they won’t sell you lumber – but they will sell you everything else. They cite religious reasons because they do not want a place of worship of your type of religion in their neighborhood. That is a religious reason – do you think that should be allowed? To my mind “service” is defined as providing what the customer wants – provided you have it, you have to sell it by law.

      • Barry
        Jun 01, 2015 @ 12:06:26

        Actually in NZ you can’t sue anyone for an act of discrimination. You can lay a complaint with the Human Rights Commission for acts of illegal discrimination. Discrimination is illegal only if (a) it’s on one of the illegal grounds set out in the Human Rights Act, and (b) the discrimination occurred in one of the areas of life that are covered by the Act (for example, employment). The Commission will seek a resolution (preferably by mediation), but if the outcome isn’t satisfactory to them or you, it can be escalated to the Human Rights Review Tribunal, which has powers to enforce it’s decisions.

        There’s nothing on our statutes that require anyone sell anything to anybody (with a few exceptions). It makes no difference if its a religious drink or not. Religion is not the issue. A business (be it an individual or a company) is free to choose who they do business with and what they sell.

        If a bar doesn’t want to mix a Fallen Angel, Harvey Wallbanger, or shaken Martinis but will serve Margaritas stirred Martinis, then that is their choice. Refusal to serve a customer because the customer is of a particular ethnicity, religion or gender would be illegal, and a denial of their human rights. Refusing to shake a Martini does not infringe on their rights.

        If a bar has five beers on tap and tonight they decide to sell only four, that is their prerogative. If someone asks for a glass of beer from the fifth tap, they are not obliged to pour one.

        Beards are not covered under our legislation, so technically, refusing to serve those with beards would not be illegal although it would still be a form of discrimination and I couldn’t condone it. On the other hand if you served bearded atheists but not bearded Muslims or Sikhs then you would be breaking the law.

        If you take a bottle of milk to the checkout at a supermarket, there is no obligation for the shop to sell it to you. If they refused to sell it to everyone of Asian descent, or all Canadians, for example, then it is an obvious case of discrimination. But it the owner had a personal dislike for you (perhaps you had an argument over a parking space while visiting that bar) then the owner is not required to sell to you.

        Citing that you refuse to sell timber (lumber) for religious reasons, when the timber required is just the same as for any other structure, then that would be an obvious case of discrimination, as would refusing to sell it because the building was for a particular faith. But if you refused to supply the timber because you opposed the construction of a community building on that space you would be entitled to do so.

        Perhaps there’s a difference in what constitutes an agreement to sell between our two jurisdictions. Here there needs to be an agreement between buyer and seller before both parties are committed to a transaction. That agreement can be formal (a signed document), an informal agreement (shaking hands), or an implied agreement (for example cash being offered and accepted). But until that agreement is formed, there is no obligation on buyer or seller.

        Paul, there are some types of Websites that I will never build or host, and if a day comes when I cannot choose what I can build or host, that is the day I close my business.

      • Paul
        Jun 01, 2015 @ 12:41:10

        Yes, I think there is a difference in the legislation between NZ and CA. Here the contract is implied as soon as you unlock the door of the business As far as websites are concerned, you could refuse all religious sites here but you could not do a webdesign for one religion and not another.

        Have a great week Barry!

  5. Let's CUT the Crap!
    May 24, 2015 @ 10:36:00

    That was my next question. Doesn’t the driver know you? Then I saw your answer.
    Glad you had a good sleep regardless and that your dialysis went well. Be kind to yourself, Paul, and have a great week ahead. Thanks for the chat and coffee.


    • Paul
      May 24, 2015 @ 11:35:20

      Thanks for the read LCTC. Yes they do generally know me, but there are about 350 drivers so we don’t always know each other. Their computer system has the capability to display a picture of the customer but they haven’t used that part yet. Thanks so much for your good wishes LCTC. I hope your week goes well.


  6. Barbara In Caneyhead
    May 24, 2015 @ 16:42:44

    Perhaps they can dial back the meds to give you just enough to keep you under for dialysis and no longer.

    To legalize gay marriage is problematic for me as a Christian for the same reason including abortion in government healthcare is: as a taxpayer it will require me to at some point in time take part in funding something I don’t believe in. (i.e. spouses survivor benefits, etc.) I don’t have to buy a drunkard a bottle or pay for a rendezvous for someone to commit adultery, so why should I have to pay for these things?


    • Paul
      May 24, 2015 @ 18:39:35

      Hi Barbara! First, thanks so much for dropping by and for the read and comment. i appreciate your perspective and i would like to point out that your taxes do actually fund any and all government expenditures – which likely does somewhere include money that ends up buying a drunk a bottle and funding adultery. Mind you the money is likely not given for those purposes – it an be a disability pension or welfare or children’s allowance – but once it is given, how it is used is not controllable. And if you are a Christian then remember “thou shalt not judge” -, which is writ large and multiple times in the Good Book. (By the way i have a great deal of faith in God and Christ as well, although I do not associate with any religion, per se). That is a democracy Barbara -which is likely the best, freest form of government humans have yet invented. As a member of a democracy, we have to accept that the will of the majority does set the rules and laws and policies and there will be times that those rules will not please us personally – however the alternative of say a dictatorship or communism, is not desirable. Or in the vernacular – Suck it up buttercup. It could be worse.

      That said, as a fellow believer in Christ, I would like to point out a few things about His teachings. First of all, God Himself says, in the Bible, that the highest law or rule is Love. That said, it can be extrapolated that love of any kind is better than no love. So love between two consenting adults is better than denying that love – even if you prefer a different sort of love. And second, at no point in the Bible or in any of His teachings, does Christ say anything about homosexuality even though He says more than a dozen times not to judge. So, which do you think has a higher priority in the eyes of Christ? – the fact that you are judging or the fact that your neighbors can now participate in same sex marriages?

      Anyway, thanks so much for joining the discussion Barbara – i’d be interested in your take on these points. have a great week and please drop by again.


  7. Diana
    May 24, 2015 @ 17:52:50

    What a week! Glad you’ve managed to get the restless legs a bit more under control!


  8. willowdot21
    May 24, 2015 @ 19:09:17

    Dear Paul it has not been a brilliant weekend but I have enjoyed reading your post as usual! I am delighted as the next about the referendum results in Ireland.I am a christian and proud of it and I believe God created everyone straight gay transgender whatever he even created the bad things i life too the killer , the pervert the warmonger he loves them all, I don’t but he dies. I hope one day gays will be able to marry and be safe everywhere! and stories like this will be gone!

    I am pleased that your medication for busy legs is working again, though I hope you don’t miss your transport too often!! I have not had a chance to read your guest posts of last week but I will be as soon as possible. I also put in a link so your readers can find you ! Be well and happy Paul xxx


    • Paul
      May 24, 2015 @ 21:18:59

      Awesome, Awesome, Awesome, Awesome video. Willow. Thank you so much for sharing that. I agree 100%. 😀


  9. 1EarthUnited
    May 26, 2015 @ 21:12:58

    Hi Paul, sorry to hear of u’r unfortunate side-effect from dialysis. I’ve read that eating a few nuts high in magnesium, or taking magnesium supplements help with restless leg syndrome. Hope this helps, and u’r future sessions quiet & uneventful.
    Traditions/ prejudices certainly are hard to break, good to hear ppl are finally becoming more accepting and compassionate. If u’ve never seen “The Birdcage” with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, they’re hilarious!
    Have a nice week ahead Paul and Willow. 🙂


  10. Jay-ar
    May 04, 2017 @ 23:10:41

    Hi friend!
    Please take a look at the info I’ve found, it’s really interesting. Here, check this out http://tinker.simonadvisor.com
    Typos courtesy of my iPhone, elizarmahipus


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