If We Were Having Coffee Guest Post – Mar. 01/2015

Pay It Forward

Welcome to Willow’s weekly coffee and tea garden. My name is Paul, I’ll be your barista today and I’m happy to be here once again. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Willow has plumped the cushions and started a cozy fire so we can warm ourselves while we have a cuppa and chat. As usual, I’d be pleased to bring a pot of whatever beverage you prefer – we have a wide range of teas and coffees to satisfy ourworld-wide readership. Also available is a large selection of spirits for addition to your cuppa or in its place. We can relax while we discuss the affairs of the week both personal and/or worldwide. How has your week been?

I was delighted to see the above picture over at “I Didn’t Have My Glasses On…” http://

ididnthavemyglasseson.com/2015/02/27/our-job/ on Friday. I asked Beth if I could use it and here it is. She used a quote to accompany the pic; “it’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. it’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” – l.r. knost

Last week’s topic of Compassion is still rattling around in my brain (what there is left of it – Ha!) I was waiting for dialysis on Friday, and a gentleman of about 50 years came up to me to chat. He walked very slowly and looked pale and thin. He was pretty rough looking with a well-worn winter coat, worn down sneakers and, hanging out from under the jacket, a hospital gown. He had been smoking, as I had, and I thought he was going toask for a cigarette – and it was my intention to give him one. Instead, he asked if I was a patient. We chatted for a while and he was concerned about his kids – the two remaining at home were 16 and 19. He was from a small Northern town about 800 miles from Ottawa and had flown in for some tests. It turns out he has massive infections and the doctors are sure he has cancer but have been unable to locate it. They kept him, of course, He introduced himself as Tim and said he had been in for 3 days now and was concerned about his kids. He had relatives in his home town and they were looking in on the kids, but Tim had no idea how long he would be hospitalized. I didn’t tell him, but when I had cancer, it presented as an infection as well, and I ended up in hospital for weeks to start and then months later.

We chatted and I told him some of my experiences with cancer and assured him that the doctors and health care providers in the hospital were world class and would take excellent care of him. I mentioned that it was hard to get cigarettes as an inpatient – especially if you don’t know anyone. He laughed and said he four left and was pacing himself. As rough as his position was and as much as he had no idea when he would get out, he didn’t ask for a cigarette. I told him I knew how hard it was for an inpatient smoker (they frown on it at the hospital) and how I knew cigarettes were difficult to come by and so I opened my pack and took out half still in the foil wrap and passed them to him. He was astounded and said he didn’t now how to thank me. I’ve been there before and saw the opportunity to pay it forward. As little as I knew him and given his situation I couldn’t think of anything that would please him more than that. And I was right, he was at a loss for words as I got on the escalator to go for treatment, he stood at the bottom, saying “thank you” over and over. I hope his journey is a tolerable one and that his kids still have him to look up to in the coming years.

Things have been OK this week for me. It has been brutally cold although it warmed up some today and it looks even better for next week. I had a major battle with my drug store this week over some prescriptions, but we seem to have come to a bit of an- impasse and I’ll have to speak to the insurance carrier next week to straighten it out. I got what I needed but it wasn’t easy. Stupid stuff like the doctor forgot to put a charge code on the most important prescription so instead of calling me or the doctor, they set the prescription aside and did nothing. I enquired and they explained and so I gave them shit and got the doc to call them. Then they said they didn’t deliver on Saturday. This was Friday and I don’t have a car at the moment and travel by Para Transpo – a handicap service – with whom it is notoriously hard to get short term appointments for rides (long term or recurring are fine). It is an injectable drug that I have to start on Sunday in preparation for a small operation on Wednesday. It is not an option. I have gotten $1,500 worth of medications from this pharmacy this week (I replenish every 3 months and most of that cost [$1,350] are two drugs that counteract effects of the dialysis) and they were arguing that they don’t deliver on Saturday when they had the prescription since Tuesday. I was ready to call a taxi and go down and give them a piece of my mind. I threatened to take my business elsewhere and they made arrangements to deliver – I only live about 1 mile from the drugstore. I hate having to threaten to get anything done especially when the problem was not caused by me. I will just call this a small rant – cut short due space limitations. !@#$%.

Otherwise things were all right, although dialysis went awry on Friday – kind of blew up. When the dust settled I ended up with only 1⁄2 a treatment – better than none. One of the needles wasn’t set right and half way through slipped from the fistula and created a hematoma – a large bruise under the skin created by blood out of the vessel that is very painful. It’ll calm down in the next few days, but it isn’t reasonable to reneedle through a hematoma, so that was it for Friday’s treatment.

That’s about all we have room for this week, so it’s time to settle in with another cuppa and watch the fire. Sweets anyone? Please join me in thanking Willow for her invitation to tea. We are all honored that you dropped by today to visit. I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself and the conversation and please look around at Willow’s other posts while you’re here. Willow is over there serving her guests and chatting it up. Let’s go see how she is today. Have a great week. We look forward to seeing you back here for sweets and beverages of your choice again next week.

Tea Party Cuppy Cakes – best for cats and dogs and little girls:

And of course the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE: WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time Monster and Gene’O’s

Love Is In Da Blog & SoCs : Aaquaint and or Friend

Just Fooling Around With Bee said : today is dedicated to “Stream of Consciousness” and Linda’s “Stream of Consciousness Saturday” which had its first birthday yesterday. So please enjoy our combined prompt and link your posts both to “SoCS” and “Love Is In Da Blog”

LindaGHill said :Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: acquaint and/or friend. Use one, use both, add prefixes or suffixes, but whatever you do, have fun!

Stop Look and listen

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We pass each other every day on this busy street.

We never make eye contact we never stop to speak.

Rushing here and there we do not stop to think

About the people around us who might be on the brink.

We are not allow to reach out or even to smile.

People would think you were mad if you try to stop them for a while.

There are so many lonely souls we pass them everyday

They always avert their eyes , why is that always the way.

Why is it so wrong to just turn and smile

To reach out to a passer by and talk to them for a while.

We all could make a difference. We all could make new starts,

We all could help each other out if we opened up our hearts!

Look at me fellow loners I am just like you

Busy out here building walls between me and you.

Let me reach out to you and you could reach back to me

Why can’t we join together and maybe set some of our fears free.

I could be a coat to you I could make you warm

We could make our way through this lonely night and out into the dawn.

Acquainting ourselves with each other

We could all find friends even lovers.

This post is part of SoCS:

Badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here and here

Love is in Da Blog

Love Is In Da Blog: Thank you Bill Bailey and Cutty Saka

Just Fooling Around With Bee said : today I suggest to you to celebrate your imaginary friends:

‘You can’t sit there that is Bill Bailey’s seat’ I saw my poor mother’s face blanch that awful Bill Bailey had obviously graduated out of the house and was now on the 55 bus with us on the way to Chiswick!

I was eight years younger than my next brother and then the twins were ten years older and the other two remaining girls were twelve and fourteen years older, so I was, in most respects like an only child. This meant I had to amuse myself a lot. And I did. I had a huge imagination I loved making up stories and playing with my Teddy Jingles and my Rabbit Ozzy , not forgetting Bill the Badger who was a one eyed, one eared and one legged Badger….. mind you he was brown not the usual white and black of a real Badger .

Mum was nonplussed when Bill Bailey arrived he did not come alone he brought his not so nice partner Cutty Saka , don’t ask me where I got the names from esp Cutty Saka , Bill Bailey could of come from the song. I think they must of arrived very early in my life as I seem to always remember them throughout my early and middle childhood. They were there for me from when I woke up until I fell asleep and sometimes they populated my dreams. They were different and distinguishable from my three favourite toys ….. they were real.

It was usually just me and Bill Bailey , we would draw or paint together, we would dance and play with my toys in the garden, when I got a little older we would dance or make play houses on the crescent outside our house. I think I must of been about five by the time he started to venture out with us, poor mum she had a lot to contend with she must of been in her fifties having brought up a big family and contended with poor health to end up with an ‘unusual ‘ child with a vivid imagination populated with two strange characters!

Why have you not tidied up that mess, why have you not eaten your dinner, who spilt that drink , who broke that vase …… Bill Bailey, who else?

As a child I was bullied at school and Bill Bailey was a great comfort to have in my corner , Cutty Saka was good too but if I took her advice I always ended up in trouble. I did get into hot water too with Bill Baily ( he was always Bill Bailey never Bill) sometimes mum , dad or even my brothers and sisters would scold me if Bill Bailey turned up at a time that was embarrassing to them! On the whole though everyone was accommodating of him and Cutty Saka .

Would Bill Bailey like some beans on his toast, could Bill Bailey move up so I can sit down, I think it is time you and Bill Bailey headed up to bed!

I am not sure really when Bill finally went for good ( maybe he is still around but keeps his council) but by the time I was old enough to be spending time with my cousin Lindy he must of thought he’d buzz off while she was around but he still was there while I was at school.

I am very grateful to Bill Bailey he helped me through my childhood and I love him and Cutty Saka for that , I think they made me who I am.

Bill Bailey and Cutty Saka may be gone but I still have Jingles and Ozzy they are upstairs as we speak!

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here

Love is in Da Blog

For Lisa : I get pissy when I am not witty

For my friend Lisa

I get pissy when I’m not witty.

Steer clear of me when my fits get hissy!

Don’t sneer at my lack of whit I don’t need your pity!

My mood is turning black, of fun there is a lack and I am in a tissy.

I get pissy when I’m not witty.

OMG your smiling at anguish

Don’ be such a dicky

Your smile I will vanquish!

Love Is In Da Blog : love we have shared with lost friends!

Just Fooling Around With Bee said: So today we celebrate the love we have shared with lost friends!

The scene a cafe in town we met for a coffee. The usual kiss on the cheek coffee brought and then I ventured “What did you mean on the phone, yesterday. Why don’t you want to see my son’s wedding photos. ” Looking me straight in the eye she said ” If I am not good enough to go to the wedding I don’t want to see the photos.” It was like she had punched me in the chest the pain was immense and lasted for days. I told her I had been told I could not have any friends as the guest list was tight and as there were lots of family on my side I had to be fair and I had agreed. It was their day after all.

I am not sure how I managed to drink my coffee and chat, I left in a daze, gutted is the word. That was it the end of a twenty year friendship , three years later it still hurts .

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To F

Why did you change

What made you act so strange.

So close we had been

Through our trails we’d seen

Your words cut me like a knife

Then you walked out of my life.

The pain cut so deep , deeper than

The pain caused by any man.

I had trusted you so much

We communicated with a smile or a touch.

I was there for you when you needed me

And you had always helped when the answer I could not see.

Your words cut me like a knife

Then you walked out of my life.

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This second poem is to Karen who died from Cancer in December 2010. You may be gone Karen but I will never forget you !

To Karen

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I rang her each day for over a year,

I begged to come see her but she would not let me near.

We laughed with each other often but more often we cried.

I wanted to be with with her but her fears, this to me denied.

I begged her to fight it she told me she was tired

I nagged and bullied she said I was fired!

Things never got better she slipped from my grasp

I tried hard to see her but she still refused, so I did as she asked.

Then finally the day came and I got the call

At last I got to visit , not that she knew at all.

I talked of blue skies and beaches and clouds

I did not whisper I told her out loud.

She was struggling for breath then I caught her eye in a moment of clarity

I told her I loved her she flashed at me “no pity!”

Her hands were dirty her nails were lined black

Her pain and the squalor are the memories that keep coming back.

I spent four days in her company

I could not believe what I had to see.

I hated her suffering as she breathed her last,

Sadly these horrid memories stuck in my mind, the ones which I cannot get past.

It was a foggy freezing December day

When we all met at the Crematorium our goodbyes to say.

To a larger than life, loud colourful girl

Who with a flash of her eyes could set our working day in a whirl.

I sat there sobbing but she had to have the last word

“Get a grip you silly cow” were the words that I heard.

Then as her coffin disappeared for her final bow

She went out with a flourish to Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’.

Karen 1958 – 2010

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here

Love is in Da Blog

Love Is In Da Blog: My Faraway Friend

Just Fooling Around with Bee said : A few weeks ago Shan at “Shan Jeniah’s Lovely Chaos” called me her “faraway friend”. I like that expression very much and therefore decided to use it as a prompt here on “Love Is In Da Blog”.

I miss you daily you are always in my heart

I shall not forget you no matter we are apart.

You have always been there for many years

But not you have to move, no point in shedding tears.

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here

Love is in Da Blog

Love is in Da Blog: Best Friends Forever

Just Fooling Around With Bee said : Today’s subject is BFF. For all those who don’t know: BFF is “Best Friends Forever!”

Best friends forever, what I say

Being with you makes happy my day.

You know my good points and all

Of my bad points you call.

You are always there

For me and I

Here for you

Forever

Us.

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This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here

Love is in Da Blog

Love Is In Da Blog: Friends and Dog Friends

Just Fooling Around With Bee said : this last week is dedicated to The love of friends!

It did not stop raining today and it would of been really miserable had it not been for the fact that I was visiting my sister in law who is not my sister in law any more for she is no longer married to my husbands brother! That not withstanding I have been friends with her girl and woman for 48yrs. Yes I was thirteen and she was fifteen, when we first met. Both of us sitting on the 97 bus not sure whether or not to talk, Then when we both got off at the same bus stop and started walking in the same direction we broke the ice.

http://www.annerley.com.hk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/fotolia_43510580_XS.jpg

We have been solid since, I like to think we are more like sister even though the in law title is now debunked. We have been through thick and thin and weathered some nasty storms!

Talking of storms , today was wet! So we stayed in the warm and drank coffee, had parsnip soup for dinner and chatted about all sorts. Our children, grandchildren …( my first grandson, and her granddaughter) husbands, houses, my son’s new home, her daughters job, her granddaughters triumphs. Of course we talked of the dogs, the beautiful dogs.

The dogs have two beds in the kitchen dining room. They take up a lot of room! One bed ( a huge bed large enough for them both ) fills an alcove. The only trouble is that one dog , the younger one always insists on laying on top of the older dog. So D hit on a brilliant idea, get the husband to put a separator down the center of the bed ….. each dog then could have his own space and the extra bed could be removed !

Well they were not too sure at first but no one likes change do they?

So after a while they settled down and after their duvets and cushions went in, all was looking cosy!

So we thought , we turned back to our photos and our coffee and time ticked on. The dogs were happy, the dogs were comfortable , the dogs seemed very quiet and settled ! Job done, well done to D’s hubby the problem of the younger dog flattening the older was solved!

Well it was wasn’t it…………………… er? not it was not!

Nope, no it was not! It just goes to show you just cannot help those who will not be helped! You also cannot teach a cheeky dog new tricks.

The time came for me to go home. It was dark and wet and it was actually flooded! I have not had the pleasure of driving through flooded roads before ! I did not like it but I remembered my husbands words of advice and I got through and after what seemed an age I got home safely.

So it was wet cold and windy in the real world today but I was happy!

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This story shows my friendship with this wonderful friend and it also shows the friendship of the dogs! Two for one folks, two for one!

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here

Love is in Da Blog

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE: BUSY WEEK

Hello and welcome come in it is lovely to see you all here again. The fires are lit the cushions are plumped up and we have the coffee and tea on the go and the cakes and sweets are all set out. We have tea and coffee from all over the world not to mention all our cakes and muffins and as Paul calls them sweets! Every single one is calorie free! Plus of course we now have spirits and liquors to warm the coldest of you.

If we were having Coffee: I would ask you what has been going on in your world this week, has anything deeply affected you, have you need a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on or just needed someone to make you laugh! If yes feel free to talk it out here with us. We will all help if we can.

Join in !

If we were having Coffee: I would remind you that there are lots of other coffee mornings all shared and organized By Diana and Gene’O over at,Part time monster and it is growing like Topsie!

What a week it has been and If we were having Coffee: I would tell you all it has been a busy week in blog land as well as in the real world. I entered the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion, Set up by Yvonne Spence you can read her entry here and mine if you have not already seen it here . It was a truly amazing venture and I hope that even if each post only effected one or two people that would be a massive win! Well done to every one who took part.

Well how are you, would you like some more coffee or maybe some cake we have plenty.

If we were having coffee I have also been busy all month doing Love is in Da Blog organised by Just fooling Around With Bee. Boy she has kept us on our toes with her prompts. So if you interested in joining in for the last week in Feb do feel free to jump in here .

If we were having Coffee: I would tell you that it has been a busy week in the real world the livingroom is progressing , almost finished now, pictures up, lighting all sorted , fireplace in and televion hanging on the wall above said fireplace! Really all we are awaiting is the furniture.

The usual visits to the gym and core and pilates lessons. Thursday was fun L ( my gym buddy) and I took a trip to Oxford on the bus… It was great fun even though it was pouring with rain all day. We had a look around the shops and took a little trip round the back streets and looked in at the beautiful quadrangles of the Universities through their open gates! We also had a look around the covered Market and looked at the butchers and fishmongers and found the most amazing cake shop!

It was a lovely day out, as I said in a post earlier this week I spent a lot of time in Oxford as a child.

If we were having coffee: I say well I don’t have a lot more to report so I look forward to seeing you all next week!

And of course the

IF WE WERE HAVING COFFEE: WEEKEND COFFEE SHARE

over at Part Time Monster and Gene’O’s

If we were having coffee

Love is in Da Blog : Friends

Just Fooling Around With Bee said : this last week is dedicated to The love of friends!

Okay before I say anything lets see what Alanis Morrisette has to say on the matter !

Friends

There are all types of friends, good and bad

Some a phone call away who’ll see you though happy or sad.

Friends who are great at shopping and those who like a drink

Some just like to mess about and some who will help you think.

When things go wrong and life gets tough

Most friends disapear when things get rough

But you will be surprised at those who stay

And help you cope with the black, black day

I do have some very good friends and I shall be looking into all different types of friends this week, Thanks be for making me think!

This is Just fooling around with Bee Idea for a February daily challenge! To suit her spoilt inner child…. and mine come to that so here we go! Hold on to your heart! Join in here and here