New Year , old problems.

Well here  we are  another year……….. I am sorry to say  yet again  no  special  magic  occurred  at  midnight. Famine,  Hunger, Pestilence  and  War  did  not  suddenly  dismount  and  say ” Hey Death  let’s  call a truce , lets  have  some  coffee  and cake  and  sort  this  poor  suffering  planet out! ” Did  they  hell!

Nothing  magical  happened  either  at Christmas  or  New Year. The  problems  I was eluding to  before  Christmas  did not  suddenly  disappear in a puff of  “joyous  goodwill  to men” Did they,  Bollocks!

No  there is still a  huge chasm of misunderstanding and raw  emotions   eating  me up from the inside out and I hate it, I hate  it  I bloody  hate it. I do not hate  anyone involved  but  the longer  things  go on  the more  the  feelings  and  rewriting  of  what  happened  grows within them. You  would  not  believe  what a petty incident  caused  all this  out pouring of  venom.  Yet  it  has  grown  and spread  like a cancer! I fear it is  becoming  incurable.

Both sides  are locked in their self rightfulness, any  attempts mediation  on my  part  are  met  with  anger  and mistrust  and I always come off  the worse!

So  there  you have it  Christmas  was stressful, I  did not  make  it any  better  because  I did not  want  to be away, but in  all honesty I tried  and it had  lots of  good points   and highs  but  the pain and worry  was ever present.

Now I stand  here at  the beginning  of a New Year  and I  feel flat, empty, desperate, bereft . I feel as if  everything  I so long awaited  has been stolen from me ………….. I could  go on and on  about  all the things  that are eating  me up believe  me  they  are legion!

Manners  stop  me, I do apologize for  going  on but I shall publish  and be damned. So Christmas Spirit  where  were  you ? New Year magic   where  have you been all my  life ……… eh eh ??

I also  have to apologies that  I got  so distressed  trying to wade  all your  wonderful  posts  and comments, I felt  I was drowning  so  I  have to admit to   hitting  the delete  button   but I will get through  them  as when I can in the reader. You  may  only  get  likes  and a short  comment   but I love  all your  work  everyone of  you  so please  forgive  me, for  moaning  and  not  answering  all your  posts!

Why  did I  pick  the video  of “Say Something? ” Because  they need to talk  and  I can’t  fix it . I love  them all  but  they all see that  as wrong……………………



This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill. Thanks for tuning in and if you want to join, feel free to click on the link and start jotting!

52 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. LindaGHill
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 17:58:01

    Oh dear Willow, it does sound as though you’re going through a tough time. As impossible as it may seem at the moment, the answer to your questions of where are the Christmas spirit and the New Year’s magic, they are inside you. Sometimes we have to dig deep, and other times we need to wait until they bubble close enough to the surface to grasp them, but they are there. Be patient. Most especially with yourself.
    All the best for the new year, my dear.


  2. Paul
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 18:07:31

    Oh Willo, I’m so sorry that things have gone so wrong. I don’t know what to say. other than I hope things get better for you. **HUGS**


  3. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 18:11:03

    My hope is that they communicate soon for your sake. Prayers, Willow. You are strong. Believe it. I’ve felt you. Be still and wait. xx


  4. TanGental
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 19:18:55

    oh dear, Willow, that is grisly and grim. As you other friends say, all you can do, sadly is keep the candle burning. We had a similar standoff in my family which seemed utterly intractable. Eventually a set of small events allowed some glimmer of hope to grow. Finally while no one would ever (has ever) agreed on the ‘facts’ the issue has been consigned to history and gradually as time adds other better memories the sore scabs over. Needless to say, occasionally it bursts afresh but usually sense prevails and each new rapprochement makes the pain less. I hope something similar for you. The thing that made the difference was someone (in our case my lovely wife) staying above the fray and steadily and consistently not taking sides. Eventually the drip drip of her reason wore away the granite like resistance. You seem to have the role, for good or bad. So hang tough, kiddo. A big BLUG (bloghug) from me.


    • willowdot21
      Jan 01, 2015 @ 21:27:33

      Thanks for the blug much needed right now. All I can do is keep my mouth shut, my mind open and hope for the best. Thanks got being a voice of reason. Xxxxx


  5. Helen Espinosa
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 19:41:11

    That song gets into my psyche and touches something so that I’m left with chills all over my body and tears very near the surface. I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I know it’s hard to see others around you celebrating when that’s the last thing you want to do, i.e. the holidays. Just remember that things have a way of sorting themselves out sometimes. Hang in there, Willow! ❤


  6. Theresa
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 21:21:28

    Blessings to you in the New Year…


  7. Kentucky Angel
    Jan 01, 2015 @ 22:20:59

    Holding your spirit close to my heart, praying for you. I have the same frustrations in life, and I wonder why nothing ever changes. don’t lower your expectations for any reason though. Sometimes miracles happen and dreams come true. I’ve had the miracle, but not the dream, so for 2015, I’m wishing you both, the Miracle and the Dream. Many blessings to you.


  8. Bernice
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 00:04:59

    It would be so nice if problems would disappear with a new year. Hope things get better for you. I have been off work since Dec 24 and go back to reality on Jan 5th. My birthday. How ironic. Hope things get better.


  9. dreamsinalaska
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 01:10:30

    Willow I stumbled acroos your post through Just Jot it January, and I’m so glad I did. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, and I can empathize with your pain. Your willingness to be so honest is appreciated, and I look forward to following your blog as things hopefully begin to improve for you in 2015. Hugs from Alaska!


    • willowdot21
      Jan 02, 2015 @ 08:38:15

      Hello and thanks for reading and thanks for being kind enough for to send kind words and empathy. I am deep in family strife right now and for what ever reason it all poured out. I am not sure I should of burdened everyone with my problems. I hope you can solve your problems too. I send you a virtual hand so we can help each other. xxxx


      • dreamsinalaska
        Jan 02, 2015 @ 17:03:28

        Please don’t apologize for letting it all pour out. Although I can’t speak for others, I will say that my goal with my blog is to release some of the burdens that you’re describing. It’s a slow process for me, but my hope is that there are other people like myself… and you, who will appreciate the honesty and knowing that maybe they’re not alone. Be true to yourself, and true to your writing. Hugs frim Alaska!

      • willowdot21
        Jan 02, 2015 @ 17:09:23

        Thank you again for your support. I usually write poetry but recently i have felt the need to talk. I agree honesty is good. There are lots of people suffering in similar situation maybe we can help each other. Love and hugs. Xx

  10. johnallenrichter
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 01:28:26

    Willow…. I don’t know what’s going on but will tell you that here is a hand always ready to hold. Poets are poets without emotion. Yours sounds like a wellspring. Chanbel it. My deepest wishes for your better new year.


  11. johnallenrichter
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 01:29:40

    I absolutely hare thid phone. Why does it change my words?


  12. jetgirlcos
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 02:03:34

    {hugs} to you Willow! Hold on to the strong beautiful person that you are. I will keep you in my thoughts. Maybe “jotting” will be a good cathartic thing ? 🌺


    • willowdot21
      Jan 02, 2015 @ 08:27:15

      Yes maybe it will 🙂 but a halt to this downward spiral would be better. Thank you I really appreciate your caring enough to say. Hugs to you too. xxxx


  13. socialbridge
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 08:16:09

    Oh Willow, tightest hugs and don’t give up on H O P E. Jx


  14. scottishmomus
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 10:11:50

    I’m sorry you’ve had such a lousy start to the year. I do hope things improve for you.x


    • willowdot21
      Jan 02, 2015 @ 12:22:01

      Thank you , it has been brewing a while as these things do. I really hope something will change soon. Sadly it just gets worse. I hope things are good with you.xx


  15. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 16:21:01

    I so want our world to change and if it’s going to do so – I’ve decided I’m going to have to do my own part. Sending love and balance for the New Year. Sheri


  16. busymindthinking
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 16:23:19

    I send love, an embrace, smiles to share, and strength and optimism. You are not alone my friend. Lean on me. You are loved.


  17. bluefiadiarries
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 17:22:19

    Willow, I’m feeling you so much, it weighed on me double! If ever you need a talk, even if we’re basically stranger, ( I treat you no stranger at all) you can always count on me. xoxo I’ll pray for you even more.. :*


  18. reocochran
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 19:09:46

    Sometimes, it must be the littlest kernel of hope that keeps us going…. I have been pretty down in my life, seeming to have no way out and then, things have turned… hoping this will happen early in 2015! Hugs, Robin


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